Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

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Jan's Second Yahrtzeit

Jan’s Second Yahrzeit and She is With Me

I Am Doing Better Than I Expected

Jan's Second Yahrtzeit

Jan’s Second Yahrtzeit

Last night, I returned home from Washington, DC, after participating in the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism’s Power of Purpose Campaign. This campaign advocates for policies that address the climate crisis, and I’m glad I was able to contribute to its cause.

Although I lit Jan’s Yahrzeit candle a little late, I don’t feel guilty. My work towards a sustainable future that benefits all of God’s children, including future generations, was a mitzvah —a good deed worth doing.

After Jan’s passing two years ago, I was unsure how to proceed. But thanks to my family, friends, neighbors, fellow widows, and Rabbi Renne, I began taking small steps towards living fully without her.

Instead of focusing on the pain of losing Jan, I focused on my love for her and the beautiful memories we shared. My memories of Jan will always be a blessing, and I want to honor her memory by performing good deeds for the sake of her soul’s merit.

Jan's First  YahrtzeitThis second Yahrtzeit for Jan inspires me to perform good deeds to honor Jan’s soul, which will ascend higher in heaven on this date. Tonight, I will join my fellow members of Temple Sha’arey Shalom to recite the Mourner’s Kaddish in memory of Jan and other loved ones who have passed away. We stand together as a community to honor and remember not only our loved ones but all those who have lost someone dear to them, especially those who may have been forgotten.

Although I’ve made some progress over the last two years, I still have a long way to go. But with Jan’s love and support, I can live fully and continue to share her passion for life. Her love will always be with me and will only grow stronger daily.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Jan’s Yahrzeit Reminds Me Why Love Never Dies

During my walk, I remembered a passage from Rachel Kodanaz's book "Living with Loss, One Day at a Time" on page 138. The passage poses a thought-provoking question about whether someone would rather have their years shortened or not have any at all.

Reflecting on this question, my answer remains unchanged. Although the thought of Jan's life ending when we first met would have initially caused me great sadness, I would have eventually come to focus on the love we shared rather than the time we lost.

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Jan Lilien, the love of my life

Discovering Life’s Secret Sauce

Jan's Love is All I Ever Needed

Johnnie Caldwell Walker, My Grandmother

Johnnie Caldwell Walker, My Grandmother

As an eight-year-old, I once sat on a stool in my childhood home’s galley kitchen, seeking clarification from my grandmother about the meaning of “a little of this and a little of that.”

Although slightly disappointed, my grandmother quickly lifted my spirits by offering me a yummy chocolate chip cookie we had baked the day before. She explained that it merely referred to a small amount. Despite not receiving a complete response to my inquiry, I was grateful for the delicious treat.

Even though they were a day old, my grandmother’s cookies still had a buttery, melt-in-your-mouth texture. I understand that you want to write down the recipe, but some steps cannot be translated into specific measurements,” she commented.

I couldn’t respond immediately as I had just finished devouring the last of the cookie. After taking a sip of milk, I explained that while I knew the difference between cup sizes, teaspoons, and tablespoons, I was unsure about the amount of “a little” of certain ingredients. I want to improve my cooking skills and learn to measure ingredients better,” I explained.

My grandmother reassured me that I would better understand the measurements and quantities required for cooking as I grew older.

I confided in my grandmother about my lack of confidence in my cooking skills, feeling frustrated and inferior compared to her. My grandmother whispered that the secret to cooking and life was not a specific ingredient but learning to infuse everything with love. She hugged me and reassured me that being a great helper was an excellent place to start. Tears welled in my eyes, but I no longer felt embarrassed to cry in front of her.


As a child, I admired my grandmother’s cooking abilities and aspired to be as skilled as her one day. However, despite my best efforts, I am only a mediocre cook now that I am older.

For example, Jan requested that I prepare Matzoh Brie for her in her final days. I was unfamiliar with the recipe, but Jan kindly wrote it down. Following my grandmother’s advice, I added a generous amount of love while preparing it. This addition made the Matzoh Brie exceptional, and Jan couldn’t stop complimenting it as the most delicious meal she had ever eaten.

Even after Jan’s death, her love continues to inspire me. I can overcome challenges with confidence and grace by following her passion for life and infusing everything I do with her love.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Matzoh Brei for Jan!

In the kitchen, I followed her instructions step by step, with the only change I put in all my love into the Matzoh Brei. After some time, I went back upstairs and served her breakfast. I said, "Here you go, my love. Do you require anything else?"

Jan was in the middle of a call and shook her head negatively, so I quietly left the room and headed downstairs. As I reached the first floor, I overheard Jan exclaiming, "Wow, this is the best Matzoh Brei I've ever had!"

Love is the elusive yet essential ingredient that makes life complete and fulfilling.

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Jan and Richard

Is My Heartbeat Dictating My Stories?

Words Flow Swiftly with Each Beat of My Heart!

Jan and Richard at YWCA Gala

Jan and Richard at YWCA Gala, October 2019

Whenever I feel my heart beating, I can’t help but write down my thoughts. Some are about falling in love with Jan, even when I thought it would never happen or might, unfortunately, end abruptly. Other articles are about dealing with grief and living alone but not being lonely. Whichever the theme, they are honest stories about love and life that I feel compelled to share.

Although I have always dreamed of being a writer, I know I am only a novice scribe. Perhaps I am only responding to my heart’s tearful cries? At times, the words flow so fast that they pile up like ice blocks once did in the Rahway River.

However, two years after my wife’s funeral, I have used words to express my deepest emotions and capture the true essence of love in my stories. Although we both knew before the first kiss that our love for each other would endure forever after the last kiss, the sudden loss has forced me to reevaluate our passion like a detective seeking clues to an unsolvable mystery.

When my writing captures the full measure of love’s beauty, it brings me immense joy because the power of love is immeasurable. It can heal, inspire, and bring meaning to our lives. Through my writing, I have found solace in expressing my deepest emotions and capturing the true essence of love.

As I ponder Viktor E. Frankl‘s profound words on love being the ultimate goal of life, I am grateful for the true love Jan and I shared, which will forever reside in my heart.

Sharing Jan’s love has been my salvation and the most precious offering I can make to those around me. Love can heal and bring light to even the darkest moments, so I cherish every opportunity to share it with my family, grandchildren, friends, and neighbors. Through my humble writings and sharing Jan’s, I aspire to encourage friends and foes to pursue love as life’s ultimate goal.

Without love, life would be meaningless – but with it, everything else falls into place. My stories will be my legacy, a testament to the power and beauty of love I can leave behind for my loved ones and community.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



The Day Jan and I Married!

Our wedding day was a beautiful celebration of love and commitment, shared with our closest family and friends. The special memories we made on that day will always be kept close to our hearts, reminding us of the strong bond between Jan and me.
Lovers forever

Two Years Later, Jan is Still With Me!

Love Transcends Physical Boundaries

Jan Lilien and Richard W. Brown, Wedding Day, August 9, 1975

Jan Lilien and Richard W. Brown, Wedding Day, August 9, 1975

This morning was different from my usual wake-up routine. It’s hard to explain, but everything felt a bit off.

A notification on my iPhone caught my eye as I prepared for my morning walk. Today is May 3, which means it’s Wes’s ten-month birthday. I always remember this day, but this year is especially tough because it’s been two years since Jan died.

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been two years since she died. I miss her so much, and sometimes the pain will never disappear. But she would want me to keep moving forward and remember the good times we shared. So today, I’ll celebrate Wes’s birthday and remember all of the happy memories Jan and I created together.

When I lost Jan two years ago, my world fell apart, and I wasn’t sure how I could go on without her. However, with the help of my family, faith, friends, and fellow widows, I managed to cope and learned to share her passion when all that was left of her was love. My grief has slowly become a thing of the past.

On days like this, I’m reminded of a quote by Viktor E. Frankl, “Love is the ultimate goal in life,” and I know that Jan and I achieved that goal. Our love transformed us into better versions of ourselves, and I’m genuinely grateful for that. Even though Jan is no longer here with me, her love continues to surround me. Instead of grieving, I choose to celebrate her life.

During my walk, I focused on the beautiful memories of falling in love with Jan rather than the pain of losing her. I thought about when she told me she loved me for the first time, and I knew I had found true love. Although Wes will never meet Jan, I plan to share her passion with him so he, too, can experience the joy of true love.

Next week, I’ll be honoring and remembering Jan and other loved ones who have passed away, along with the members of my congregation at Temple Sha’arey Shalom on her second Yahrzeit. This commemoration will inspire me to do good deeds for her soul’s merit, which ascends higher in heaven on that date.

It can be challenging to grapple with two opposing truths. Jan is still with me in spirit, yet she’s not physically here. However, our love transcends physical boundaries; I’ll always hold that close to my heart.

Jan taught me that the only way to live is to help each other and work together to repair the world. The last two years have only reinforced that truth. On this second anniversary, I vow to be there for anyone going through a similar experience. Let’s support one another and share our loved ones’ legacies.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



When Richard Met Jan!

We embraced each other tightly, and our lips met in a deep and passionate kiss. It was even more intense than the sweet and lovely kisses we had already shared. I felt like I was flying, and if I hadn't worn my boots, I was sure this kiss would have knocked my socks off. This was the moment that sealed our love forever. I had always dreamed of finding true love, and now I had finally found it. Love is a beautiful thing that lasts forever and never dies.

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Enter Ghost

Enter Ghost

Isabella Hammad's highly anticipated novel, Enter Ghost, takes readers on a unique journey through modern-day Palestine, exploring themes of displacement, diaspora, and the unbreakable bonds of family and shared resistance. Hammad's passionate and thoughtful writing brings to life a timely and unforgettable story, shedding light on the struggles of artistry under occupation.

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The Awesome Power of Love

The Awesome Power of Love

Jan is With Me and Always Will Be

I’ve been busy promoting Jan’s Garden in Hanson Park on social media and through texts and emails now that the final planting has been completed. Witnessing all the positive responses has lifted my spirits!

Recently, I shared the project with a friend who owns a nearby restaurant. He showed interest in contributing or planting something to honor Jan’s memory. I’m still finalizing the details of their involvement, but I’ll share what they plan to do once everything is set.

Jan and I have always hoped for this kind of collaboration. It reminds me of the story of Stone Soup, where everyone contributes what they can to achieve a common goal. It’s a powerful reminder of the importance of unity and working together.

When Jan was diagnosed with lymphoma, we continued as best we could to contribute our time, talent, and resources to build strong and healthy communities. As her cancer took more of our time, we found comfort in Merritt Malloy‘s poem Epitaph. It helped us process her death while staying true to our values.

The poem’s last stanza has been my guide,

Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.

Sharing Jan’s love through the garden and the people whose lives she touched has been incredibly fulfilling and has helped me manage my grief.

I’ve also been inspired by Viktor E. Frankl‘s observation that “love is the ultimate goal in life.” Jan’s love will continue to live on through the garden and in my heart, inspiring me daily.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



Happy Birthday, Jan!

Last year, more than one hundred friends joined our family, and the Hanson Park Conservancy volunteers to celebrate her life as we dedicated and broke ground on Jan's memorial garden.

Before the end of this week, the memorial garden will be completed!

My family and I will be forever grateful to all the friends who have helped make this dream a reality.

Although I will always miss Jan, her love, which transformed my life and others, will never die.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Neruda on the Park: A Novel

Read: May 2023

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Neruda on the Park: A Novel

by Cleyvis Natera

Neruda on the Park is a novel by Cleyvis Natera that beautifully depicts the complexities of family, friendship, and ambition. The story highlights the community’s efforts to protect their neighborhood amidst the gentrification and the tension between a mother and her daughter.

The Guerreros have lived in Nothar Park, a Dominican neighborhood in New York City, for twenty years. When a neighboring tenement faces demolition, Eusebia, an elder of the community, takes matters into her own hands and devises a series of increasingly dangerous schemes to halt the construction of luxury condos. Meanwhile, Eusebia’s daughter, Luz, a rising associate at a Manhattan law firm, becomes distracted by a passionate romance with the handsome white developer working on the project her mother opposes.

As Luz’s father, Vladimir, designs their retirement home in the Dominican Republic, mother and daughter clash, escalating tensions in Nothar Park and leading to a near-fatal climax. Overall, Neruda on the Park is a captivating story that weaves a rich, vivid tapestry of community and sacrifice to protect what matters most.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Jan's Second Yahrtzeit
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Jan Lilien, the love of my life
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Jan and Richard
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Lovers forever
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Enter Ghost

Read: May 2023

Enter Ghost: A Novel

by Isabella Hammad

Isabella Hammad‘s highly anticipated novel, Enter Ghost, takes readers on a unique journey through modern-day Palestine, exploring themes of displacement, diaspora, and the unbreakable bonds of family and shared resistance. Hammad’s passionate and thoughtful writing brings to life a timely and unforgettable story, shedding light on the struggles of artistry under occupation.

The novel follows Sonia Nasir, an actress who returns to Haifa after years away from her family’s homeland to visit her sister, Haneen. However, this is no ordinary trip for Sonia, as it marks her first visit since the second intifada and the deaths of her grandparents. Still recovering from a disastrous love affair and a dissolute marriage, Sonia finds her relationship with Palestine to be fragile, both bone-deep and new.

As opening night approaches, a troupe of Palestinian actors faces numerous violent obstacles. Sonia meets Mariam, a local director who ropes her into a production of Hamlet on the West Bank. She rehearses Gertrude’s lines in classical Arabic and spends more time in Ramallah than in Haifa, working alongside a group of dedicated men from all over historic Palestine. Despite their competing egos and priorities, each group member is united in their desire to bring Shakespeare to that side of the wall. Amidst it all, Sonia has the daunting yet exhilarating possibility of finding a new self in her ancestral home.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Awesome Power of Love
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The Book of Love: A Novel

Read: March 2024

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The Book of Love: A Novel

by Kelly Link

I started reading “The Book of Love: A Novel” by Kelly Link today. The book showcases her exceptional writing skills, where she channels different forms of love, including friendships, romance, and family ties, with her trademark compassion, wit, and literary prowess. Readers can expect to experience joy, a little terror, and an affirmation that love endures despite challenges.

The story revolves around Laura, Daniel, and Mo, who mysteriously vanished from their hometown in Lovesend, Massachusetts, and were presumed dead. However, almost a year later, they find themselves in a high school classroom with their unremarkable music teacher. The teacher seems to know why they disappeared and what brought them back. They agree to undertake magical tasks to reclaim their lives, allowing them to return to their families and friends, but they can’t reveal where they’ve been. The tasks would lead to winners and losers.

Their resurrection attracts the attention of other supernatural beings with their agendas, which puts the community in danger and chaos. As Laura, Daniel, and Mo try to piece their lives together, and Laura’s sister Susannah tries to make sense of what she remembers, they must solve the mystery of their deaths to prevent a looming disaster.

The story takes place in Lovesend, where readers will experience love and loss, laughter and dread, magic, karaoke, and some delicious pizza.

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Do You Remember Being Born?: A Novel

Read: September 2023

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Do You Remember Being Born?

by Sean Michaels

I started reading “Do You Remember Being Born?” by Sean Michaels, a writer who won the Scotiabank Giller Prize. The novel is about an aging poet named Marian Ffarmer, a legend in the world of poetry. However, despite her success, she struggles with financial issues and her son’s inability to buy a house. Marian has sacrificed her personal relationships and happiness to pursue her career but questions whether it is worth it.

One day, she receives an invitation from a Tech Company to travel to California and work with their poetry AI, Charlotte. The company wants her to co-author a poem with their bot in a historic partnership, which clashes with Marian’s beliefs about the individual pursuit of art. However, she decides to take this opportunity, even though it makes her feel like a sell-out and a skeptic. The encounter in California changes her life, work, and understanding of kinship.

The book explores the nature of language, art, labor, capital, family, and community. It’s a response to some of the most disquieting questions of our time. The author, Sean Michaels, is a winner of the Scotiabank Giller Prize, and his book is a love letter to and interrogation of the creative legacy. It’s a joyful recognition that belonging to one’s art must mean belonging to the world to survive meaningfully.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Payback: A Novel

Read: July 2025

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The Payback: A Novel

by Kashana Cauley

In “The Payback: A Novel,” Kashana Cauley delivers a witty and incisive examination of race, power, and the everyday struggles we all face. The story follows Jada Williams, who finds herself on the run from the relentless Debt Police. As she grapples with her daunting student loans, she teams up with two quirky coworkers from the mall who offer their unexpected support on a plan to exact revenge by erasing their student loan debt.

With sharp humor and captivating storytelling, Cauley highlights the complex web of financial struggles, making readers laugh while also encouraging thoughtful reflection.

Jada Williams has a talent for judging people by their appearance. From across the mall, she can determine not only someone’s inseam and pant size but also the exact style they need to transform their lives. Unfortunately, she is no longer using this superpower as a wardrobe designer for Hollywood stars; instead, she is earning minimum wage plus commission at the Glendale mall.

When Jada is fired yet again, she must outrun the newly instated Debt Police, who are pursuing her relentlessly. However, Jada, like any great antihero, isn’t going to wait for the authorities to come after her. With the help of two other debt-burdened coworkers at the mall, she devises a plan for revenge. Together, the three women formulate a plan to erase their student loans forever and exact revenge on the system that promised them everything and then tried to take it all back.

The Payback is a razor-sharp and hilarious examination of race, power, and the daily grind, from one of the most original and exciting writers working today.


Kashana Cauley is the author of The Payback and The Survivalists, which was named a best book of 2023 by the BBC, Today, Vogue, and more. Cauley is also a television writer, having worked on The Great North, Pod Save America on HBO, and The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Her writing has also appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, Esquire, Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, and other notable publications. Find out more at KashanaCauley.com.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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Man's Search for Meaning

Read: January 2022

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Man’s Search for Meaning

by Viktor E. Frankl

I recall reading portions of Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl at various times, but I never completed the book. However, recently, eight and a half months after Jan’s passing, my wife and I were discussing in one of my groups. Frankl’s theory of logotherapy, which derives from the Greek word for “meaning,” centers around the idea that the primary human drive is not pleasure, as Freud believed, but rather the search for what gives life meaning. I now have a framework for my life without Jan.

For those like me who are widows, Frankl understands suffering,

In some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.

Jan and I lived meaningful lives. My challenge now is to continue to find meaning in my life without Jan.

As Frankl writes,

Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any ‘how.

The love Jan and I shared was one of my primary sources of meaning. In addition, I stopped working full-time at the end of 2018 and struggled to replace the purpose I had gained from repairing the world. After Jan died, I suffered the “provisional existence of an unknown limit, ” which Frankl experienced when he was in the concentration camps.

I have replaced the loss of meaning and purpose with a series of activities:

  1. Planning to celebrate Jan Day on her birthday this year.
  2. Writing my random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered;
  3. Reading more than ever, including my Goodreads 2022 Reading Challenge; and
  4. Walking more than I probably should.

I am also beginning to serve on the board of a few non-profits. It is time to transition from hands-on work to providing leadership in a different way.

Will this be enough to give my life meaning?

Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life, and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life, he can only respond by being responsible.

I must continue to focus on my search for meaning, as life will inevitably change over time.

My grief journey has taught me that love never dies,

For the first time in my life, I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth – that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry, thought, and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.

My path forward is to keep Jan’s love alive and continue to share it with others.

I recommend this book without reservation.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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We Are All the Same in the Dark

Read: January 2023

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We Are All the Same in the Dark

by Julia Heaberlin

We Are All the Same in the Dark by Julia Heaberlin is a novel I highly recommend and wish I had read earlier. The title summarizes the reality of all humans, that in the dark we are all the same. Disabilities do not define us, just as being a widow does not define who I am. In this twisty psychological thriller, Julia Heaberlin paints two unforgettable portraits of a woman and a girl who redefine perceptions of physical beauty and strength. Her novel has helped me redefine my grief.

I have been a widow for almost twenty-one months. After a trauma of that magnitude, it is easier to let the widowed state define me. But I am more than just a widow! But I am a father, grandfather, friend, neighbor, advocate, and more. Reading We Are All the Same in the Dark helped me embrace myself and not wallow in widowhood.

The novel begins with the discovery of a girl abandoned by the side of the road who threatens to unearth the long-buried secrets of a Texas town’s legendary cold case. In the first section, I was still determining if I wanted to continue. Once I read about Odette Tucker and Angel, it became a page-turner. 

This line from Odette given to Angelica, aka Angel, summarizes the characteristics that each of us should live by.

Tender. Resilient. Strong. Resourceful. Kind. Empathetic.—Six words Marshall Tucker wrote on a piece of paper to describe his daughter, Odette.

As a mensch-in-training, I will strive to live by those six words.

We are truly all the same in the dark.

We Are All the Same in the Dark is the ninth book I read this year.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

It’s been a decade since Trumanell Branson disappeared, leaving only a bloody handprint behind. Her pretty face still hangs like a watchful queen on the posters on the walls of the town’s Baptist church, the police station, and the high school. They all promise the same thing: We will find you. Meanwhile, her brother, Wyatt, lives as a pariah in the desolation of the old family house, cleared of wrongdoing by the police but tried and sentenced in the court of public opinion and a new documentary about the crime.

When Wyatt finds a lost girl dumped in a field of dandelions, making silent wishes, he believes she is a sign. The town’s youngest cop, Odette Tucker, believes she is a catalyst that will ignite a seething town still waiting for its missing girl to come home. But Odette can’t look away. She shares a wound that won’t close with the mute, one-eyed mystery girl. And she is haunted by her history with the missing Tru.

Desperate to solve both cases, Odette fights to save the lost girl in the present and to dig up the shocking truth about a fateful night in the past–the night her friend disappeared. This night inspired her to become a cop, the night that wrote them all a role in the town’s dark, violent mythology.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Poppy Fields

Read: June 2025

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The Poppy Fields

by Nikki Erlick

The Poppy Fields by Nikki Erlick is a unique and thought-provoking speculative novel that delves into themes of heartache, hope, and resilience. It explores the complexities of grief and healing, raising essential questions about recovery after loss and the lengths we go to in search of healing. This powerful exploration resonated with me and provided ample food for thought. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!

The Poppy Fields is a captivating speculative story that explores themes of healing, self-discovery, forgiveness, and the power of newfound friendship. Located in a remote stretch of the California desert, the Poppy Fields offers hope for even the most battered hearts seeking to heal. Nikki Erlick‘s unique narrative technique adds an extra layer of intrigue to the story.

This area is home to an experimental and controversial treatment center designed for those grappling with the heartache of loss. It offers a unique solution, allowing patients to sleep through their pain and continue sleeping. However, when they eventually awaken from this prolonged state of slumber, they will be healed, provided they are willing to accept the possible shadowy side effects, raising concerns about the actual cost of healing.

Embarking on a journey to this mystical destination are four very different strangers and one little dog: Ava, a book illustrator; Ray, a fireman; Sasha, an occupational therapist; and Sky, a free spirit, accompanied by a friendly pup named PJ. Their diverse backgrounds and mysterious motivations add an intriguing layer to their quest to find Ellis, the brilliant and enigmatic founder of The Poppy Fields.


Nikki Erlick is the author of the instant New York Times bestseller, The Measure, which was selected as a Read with Jenna/Today Show book club pick. The Measure has been translated into twenty-four languages worldwide. She holds a bachelor’s degree from Harvard University and a master’s degree from Columbia University. Currently, she resides in Los Angeles.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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