Richard W. Brown May 3, 2021
Jan and Richard

Jan’s Wedding Ring is Hers

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 32 seconds

Our wedding rings are straightforward gold bands with overlapping hearts; many people do not consider them wedding symbols.

This morning, she passed away. Someone in the family and the Visiting Nurse asked if I wanted the ring back, and I said no. I called Rabbi Renee to ensure that there was no reason she could not keep her wedding ring, and she said there was no reason she could not keep it.

Jan is still wearing her wedding ring, and I also wear mine every day.

Love never dies.

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Richard W. Brown September 6, 2012
Jan and Richard at YWCA Gala

Ring Options

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 32 seconds

In today’s group, one of the discussions was about what today with wedding rings. Many people had made them into necklaces or bracelets. All of these are good choices. However, my opinion is that my decision was the correct one for us. Jan had wanted her ring back when she knew she was coming home for hospice. She wanted hr ring and I wanted her to have it forever.

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Jan and Richard
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Jan and Richard at YWCA Gala
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Sing, Unburied, Sing

Read: October 2024

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Sing, Unburied, Sing

by Jesmyn Ward

I started reading Jesmyn Ward‘s novel Sing, Unburied, Sing today. The New York Times selected it as one of the best books of the 21st century and awarded it the National Book Award. According to The New York Times, Jesmyn Ward‘s historic second National Book Award winner is “perfectly poised for the moment.” It’s an intimate portrait of three generations of a family and an epic tale of hope and struggle.

Jojo is thirteen years old and is trying to understand what it means to be a man. He has several father figures to learn from, including his Black grandfather, Pop. However, Jojo’s understanding is complicated by other men in his life: his absent White father, Michael, who is being released from prison; his absent White grandfather, Big Joseph, who refuses to acknowledge him; and the memories of his deceased uncle, Given, who died as a teenager.

His mother, Leonie, is inconsistent in her and her toddler daughter’s lives. She is a flawed mother in constant conflict with herself and those around her. She is Black, and her children’s father is White. She wants to be a better mother but struggles to prioritize her children over her own needs, particularly her drug use. Tormented and comforted by visions of her deceased brother, which only come to her when she’s high, Leonie is embattled in ways that reflect the harsh reality of her circumstances.

When their father is released from prison, Leonie takes her kids and a friend in her car and drives north to Mississippi and Parchman Farm, the State Penitentiary. At Parchman, there is another thirteen-year-old boy, the ghost of a deceased inmate who carries the ugly history of the South with him in his wanderings. With his supernatural presence, this ghostly figure also has something to teach Jojo about fathers and sons, legacies, violence, and love.

Described as a majestic and unforgettable family story, ‘Sing, Unburied, Sing‘ is rich with Ward‘s distinctive, lyrical language. As noted by The Philadelphia Inquirer, her unique narrative style takes readers on ‘an odyssey through rural Mississippi’s past and present.’

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Maggie; or, A Man and a Woman Walk Into a Bar

Read: December 2025

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Maggie, or A Man and a Woman Walk Into a Bar

by Katie Yee

In the style of Jenny Offill and inspired by Nora Ephron‘s humorous and poignant writing on heartbreak and womanhood, “Maggie, or A Man and a Woman Walk Into a Bar” by Katie Yee is a masterclass in transforming personal tragedy into bold comedy. This debut novel has been recognized as a New York Times Notable Book and in Time’s list of 100 Must-Read Books of 2025, along with features in many other publications.

A man and a woman walk into a restaurant. The woman expects a lovely night filled with endless plates of samosas. Instead, she finds out her husband is having an affair with a woman named Maggie.

A short while after, her chest starts to ache. She walks into an examination room, where she finds out the pain in her breast isn’t just heartbreak—it’s cancer. She decides to call the tumor Maggie.

Unfolding in fragments over the following months, Maggie, or a Man and a Woman Walk Into a Bar follows the narrator as she embarks on a journey of grief, healing, and reclamation. She starts talking to Maggie (the tumor), getting acquainted with her body’s new inhabitant. She overgenerously creates a “Guide to My Husband: A User’s Manual” for Maggie (the other woman), hoping to ease the process of discovering her ex-husband’s whims and quirks. She turns her children’s bedtime stories into retellings of Chinese folklore passed down by her mother, in an attempt to help them fall in love with their shared culture—and perhaps save herself in the process.

Katie Yee is a writer based in Brooklyn. She has received fellowships from the Center for Fiction, the Asian American Writers’ Workshop, and Kundiman. Her work has been published in the Los Angeles Review of Books, No Tokens, The Believer, Washington Square Review, Triangle House, Epiphany, and Literary Hub. During the day, she works at the Brooklyn Museum, and at night, she writes—often under the watchful eye of her judgmental rescue dog, Ollie.

Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!

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A Matter of Death and Life

Read: December 2024

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A Matter of Death and Life

by Irvin D. Yalom and Marilyn Yalom

Today, I embarked on an emotional journey with “A Matter of Death and Life” by Irvin D. Yalom and Marilyn Yalom. This poignant narrative follows the renowned psychiatrist and his talented writer wife as they navigate a year filled with profound reflection following her terminal diagnosis. I received this thoughtful gift from my son Mike and his family, which makes it all the more special.

As the year winds down, I’m excited to say that this will be the final book I dive into in 2024 and will also mark the beginning of my reading adventures in 2025! Irwin and Marylin Yalom‘s exploration of love and living without regret is touching and inspiring, reminding me of the journey my wife and I took after her diagnosis of lymphoma in August 2019.

Irvin Yalom, an internationally acclaimed psychiatrist and author, dedicated his career to counseling those suffering from anxiety and grief. However, he had never faced the need to counsel himself until his wife, the esteemed feminist author Marilyn Yalom, was diagnosed with cancer. In “A Matter of Death and Life,” the Yaloms share how they confronted profound new struggles: Marilyn aimed to die a good death, while Irv sought to continue living without her.

Through alternating accounts of their last months together and Irv’s first months alone, they provide a rare window into facing mortality and coping with the loss of a beloved partner. The Yaloms enjoyed a loving family, a home in Palo Alto under a magnificent valley oak, a large circle of friends, avid readers worldwide, and a long, fulfilling marriage. Yet, they faced death, as we all do. With the wisdom acquired over two lifetimes and the familiar warmth of teenage sweethearts who grew up together, they explore universal questions of intimacy, love, and grief.

Informed by their extensive life experiences, “A Matter of Death and Life” is an open-hearted offering to anyone seeking support, solace, and a meaningful life.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

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Tilt: A Novel

Read: March 2025

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Tilt: A Novel by Emma Pattee

by Emma Pattee

Today, I began reading “Tilt: A Novel” by Emma Pattee. Set over a single day, this electrifying debut novel features a potent new literary voice, according to Vogue. It follows one woman’s journey through a transformed city as she grapples with the weight of her past and holds fervent hope for the future. Tilt is a gripping narrative about our disappointments and desires, exploring the lengths we will go to for the people we love.

You and I were safe last night. Your father and I fought in the kitchen, but it felt like another universe.

Annie is nine months pregnant and shopping for a crib at IKEA when a massive earthquake strikes Portland, Oregon. She finds herself navigating a chaotic city without a way to reach her husband, a phone, or money.

As she goes through Portland’s wreckage, Annie encounters human desperation and kindness: strangers offering help, a riot at a grocery store, and an unexpected friendship with a young mother. Throughout her journey, Annie reflects on her struggling marriage, unsatisfying career, and anxiety about becoming a mother. Determined to change her life, she needs to make it home.

Emma Pattee is a climate journalist and fiction writer. Her work has been published in The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Guardian, and elsewhere. She lives in Oregon.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

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The Cemetery of Untold Stories

Read: April 2024

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The Cemetery of Untold Stories

by Julia Alvarez

Today, I began reading Julia Alvarez‘s novel “The Cemetery of Untold Stories.” The book explores whose stories deserve to be told and whose should remain buried. In the end, Alma, the main character, finds meaning in the power of storytelling. Julia Alvarez reminds us that our stories are never truly finished, even at the end.

Alma Cruz, a famous writer, doesn’t want to suffer the same fate as her friend, who became mentally unstable after struggling to finish a book. So, when Alma inherits a small plot of land in her native Dominican Republic, she turns it into a cemetery for her unfinished stories. She hopes her characters will finally be able to rest in peace.

However, they have other ideas and soon begin to rewrite and revise themselves, even talking and interacting with one another. Fortunately, Filomena, a local woman hired as the groundskeeper, becomes a listener to Alma’s characters’ secret tales. These tales include those of Bienvenida, the abandoned wife of dictator Rafael Trujillo, who was erased from official history, and Manuel Cruz, a doctor who fought in the Dominican underground and escaped to the United States.

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Orbital

Read: December 2023

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Orbital: A Novel

by Samantha Harvey

Today, I started reading “Orbital” by Samantha Harvey. “Orbital” is a slender novel with epic power that captures a single day in the lives of six women and men hurtling through space. The author’s prose is poetic and impossible to put aside. Watching the Earth through the eyes of space travelers is refreshing. If I finish reading it by Sunday, it will be the 78th book I’ve read this year or the first one of 2024.

They are not going towards the moon or the vast unknown but are orbiting our planet. These astronauts and cosmonauts come from various countries, including America, Russia, Italy, Britain, and Japan. They are selected for one of the last space station missions before the program is dismantled. They have left their lives behind to travel over seventeen thousand miles an hour as the earth reels below.

Throughout the book, we catch glimpses of their earthly lives through brief communications with their families, photos, and talismans. We watch them whip up dehydrated meals, float in gravity-free sleep, and exercise in regimented routines to prevent their muscles from atrophying. We also witness them form bonds that will stand between them and utter solitude. Most importantly, we are with them as they behold and record their silent blue planet. Their experiences of sixteen sunrises and sunsets and the bright, blinking constellations of the galaxy are breathtakingly beautiful and surprisingly intimate. Additionally, we get to see the marks of civilization far below, encrusted on the planet on which we live.

It is a profound, contemplative, and gorgeous book that eloquently meditates on space. Moreover, it is a moving elegy reflecting our humanity, environment, and planet.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. For gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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