Each year, I set out on a meaningful pilgrimage to the top of the One Gateway Center in Newark, a tribute to my beloved wife, Jan, and to everyone touched by the harsh reality of blood cancers. It’s staggering to think that every three minutes, someone in the U.S. receives a diagnosis of leukemia, lymphoma, or myeloma, and heartbreakingly, someone loses their fight every nine minutes.
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“Penthouse, please,” I requested, my finger hovering over the button of the self-service elevator. The compact space could barely accommodate three people, yet somehow, it felt roomy. Jan stepped in beside me, her eyes sparkling with anticipation, and one of her friends joined us. In that moment, I couldn’t help but admire her. She had always captivated me, but on our wedding day fifty years ago, she was nothing short of breathtaking.
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“Richard!” A familiar voice called out just as I was about to step into the narrow alleyway between Sofia Color Lounge and the soon-to-open coffee shop where Beadsmith once stood. I turned around and saw—Eric! A genuine smile spread across my face as I recognized him. He was pushing a stroller, his daughter peeking out with bright, curious eyes.
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Rituals often become another item on our to-do lists, rushed and stripped of their more profound significance. When we overlook their meaning and purpose, we hinder our ability to heal from loss and navigate the complexities of grief.
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by Diana Evans
I just started reading A House for Alice: A Novel by Diana Evans. The story is set against a complicated political backdrop but is filled with hope, humor, and humanity. A House for Alice explores the scars of grief and betrayal across generations and reveals the secrets we keep from our loved ones.
The novel opens with two tragedies that occur in London. The first is the Grenfell Tower fire, which took many lives. The second is the death of Cornelius Winston Pitt, a family patriarch who dies alone. A House for Alice is a beautiful and poignant story about a family of women shaken by loss and searching for closure.
The family matriarch, Alice, has lived in England for fifty years but longs to spend her remaining years in her homeland, Nigeria. Her three daughters are divided on the matter. The youngest daughter, Melissa, is also struggling with the aftermath of her failed relationship. The family’s foundational pillars of trust, love, and cultural identity begin to weaken as they navigate these difficult times.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Junot Diaz
Today, I started reading Junot Diaz‘s The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, one of The New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the Century. The book also won a Pulitzer Prize. Oscar is a sweet but disastrously overweight ghetto nerd who—from the New Jersey home he shares with his old-world mother and rebellious sister—dreams of becoming the Dominican J.R.R. Tolkien and, most of all, finding love.
But Oscar may never get what he wants. Blame the fukú—a curse that has haunted Oscar’s family for generations, following them on their epic journey from Santo Domingo to the USA. Encapsulating Dominican-American history, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao opens our eyes to an astonishing vision of the contemporary American experience. It explores the endless human capacity to persevere—and risk it all—in the name of love.
by Sigrid Nunez
The Friend: A Novel by Sigrid Nunez is a moving story of love, friendship, grief, healing, and the magical bond between a woman and her dog. When a woman unexpectedly loses her lifelong best friend and mentor, she finds herself burdened with the unwanted dog he has left behind. I understand the positives and negatives of having a dog help with grief, but I cannot have one where I live.
One line that resonated with me was,
You can’t hurry, love, as the song goes. You can’t hurry, grief, either.
Far too often, widows are in a hurry, not unlike young lovers. We need to learn patience and remind ourselves that the more we love, the more we will grieve.
I often said that Jan would replace me with a dog if she survived me.
I recommend this book.
The Goodreads summary provides a concise overview,
The woman’s own battle against grief is intensified by the mute suffering of the dog, a huge Great Dane traumatized by the inexplicable disappearance of its master, and by the threat of eviction: dogs are prohibited in her apartment building.
While others worry that grief has made her a victim of magical thinking, the woman refuses to be separated from the dog except for brief periods of time. Isolated from the rest of the world, increasingly obsessed with the dog’s care, determined to read its mind and fathom its heart, she comes dangerously close to unraveling. But while troubles abound, rich and surprising rewards lie in store for both of them.
Elegiac and searching, The Friend is both a meditation on loss and a celebration of human-canine devotion.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Jean-Baptiste Andrea
“Watching Over Her,” a novel by the acclaimed French author and Prix Goncourt winner Jean-Baptiste Andrea, is described by The New York Times as a “sprawling fresco and star-crossed love story.” The narrative follows a dwarf and talented sculptor as he reflects on the moments in his life that inspired his mysteriously powerful masterpiece. This book is perfect for readers who enjoyed “Martyr!” and “The Covenant of Water.”
In an Italian monastery, a sculptor named Mimo lies on his deathbed. For decades, he has lived among the monks who watch over his masterpiece, an arresting statue that haunts all who see it. During his final hours, he reveals his life story: his impoverished childhood, brutal apprenticeship, and, most importantly, his meeting with Viola Orsini, the only daughter of a powerful and dangerous aristocratic family.
Mimo and Viola are instantly drawn to one another, viewing themselves as outsiders—Mimo, for his dwarfism, Viola, for her ability to remember everything she has ever read or experienced. Together, they traverse the unrest of the twentieth century, from the rise of fascism to the violence of the world wars. While Mimo becomes a celebrated artist, Viola chases her own dreams of becoming an emancipated woman. Over the decades, they will lose and find each other time and again, but never will they give up on the love they share.
Immersive and full of heart, Mimo’s adventures are ribald and hilarious, challenging conventions of his day. Jean-Baptiste Andrea’s Prix Goncourt–winning novel has captivated audiences worldwide and is now available to readers in English for the first time, thanks to Frank Wynne’s wonderfully vivid translation.
Jean-Baptiste Andrea is a writer, screenwriter, and director. His novel Watching Over Her won the Prix Goncourt, France’s most prestigious literary prize. He is also the author of Ma Reine, A Hundred Million Years and a Day, and Devils and Saints.
Frank Wynne is an Irish literary translator, writer, and editor known for his translations of various French and Hispanic authors, including Michel Houellebecq, Patrick Modiano, Javier Cercas, and Virginie Despentes. Over his career, which has spanned more than twenty-five years, he has won the IMPAC Dublin Literary Award twice and the Independent Foreign Fiction Prize.
Additionally, he has received the Scott Moncrieff Prize three times and the Premio Valle Inclán twice. Most recently, his translation of “The Annual Banquet of the Gravediggers’ Guild” by Mathias Énard won the 2024 French-American Prize. Wynne has also edited two significant anthologies: “Found in Translation: 100 of the Finest Short Stories Ever Translated” and “Queer: LGBT Writing from Ancient Times to Yesterday.”
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by Lindsay Jayne Ashford
A Feather on the Water by Lindsay Jayne Ashford is an excellent historical fiction of the post-was era for displaced people. I highly recommend it. The tagline reads, “for three women in postwar Germany, 1945 is a time of hope—lost and found.” I have always enjoyed historical fiction, and A Feather on the Water seemed like a perfect choice.
The opening paragraphs confirmed my decision, as Martha, one of the three women, escapes from her abusive husband in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Martha and the two other characters, Delphine and Kitty, come to life with Ms. Ashford’s gifted pen.
Like a feather in the water, our lives continue despite the trials and tribulations we must confront.
The Goodreads summary provides an overview.
Just weeks after World War II ends, three women from different corners of the world arrive in Germany to run a displaced-persons camp. They long to help rebuild shattered lives—including their own.
For Martha, going to Germany provides an opportunity to escape Brooklyn and a violent marriage. Arriving from England is orphaned Kitty. She hopes working at the camp will bring her closer to her parents, last seen before the war began. For Delphine, Paris has been a city of ghosts after her husband and son died in Dachau. Working at the camp is her chance to find meaning again by helping other victims of Hitler’s regime.
Charged with the care of more than two thousand camp residents, Martha, Delphine, and Kitty draw on each other’s strength to endure and to give hope when all seems lost. Among these strangers and survivors, they might find the love and closure they need to heal their hearts and leave their troubled pasts behind.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Tash Aw
Tash Aw‘s novel, The South, longlisted for the 2025 Booker Prize, is both expansive and concise, capturing the dynamics of a family navigating change and desire. It explores the intersection of public and private lives with remarkable grace and beauty. This intimate and radiant story follows the deepening relationship between two boys throughout a summer, delving into themes of family, desire, and the legacies we inherit.
When his grandfather passes away, Jay travels south with his family to the property they have inherited—a once-thriving farm that has now fallen into disrepair. The trees are diseased, and the fields have been dry due to months of drought.
Jay’s father, Jack, sends him out to work the land, or what remains of it. During these hot, oppressive days, Jay finds himself increasingly drawn to Chuan, the son of the farm’s manager. The boys are different in almost every way, except for one crucial connection.
As they work in the fields and venture into town, the tension between the boys intensifies. Meanwhile, within the house, the other family members begin to confront their secrets and regrets. Jack, a professor at a struggling local college, reflects on his failures, many of which may have started when he married his student, Sui Ching. Sui Ching strives to keep the family together, though she, too, contemplates what her life could have been. Fong, the farm manager, chooses to ignore the reality of the situation—about Chuan, the deteriorating land, and the global forces that threaten to render their entire way of life obsolete.
Tash Aw is the author of four novels, including We, the Survivors, as well as a memoir about a Chinese-Malaysian family titled Strangers on a Pier. These remarkable works earned their place as finalists for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize, showcasing the incredible talent behind them!
The author has also been honored with several esteemed awards, including the Whitbread, Commonwealth, and O. Henry Awards. Plus, being longlisted for the MAN Booker Prize twice speaks volumes about his skill. It’s exciting to see his fiction translated into 23 languages, sharing his stories with the world!
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