Each year, I set out on a meaningful pilgrimage to the top of the One Gateway Center in Newark, a tribute to my beloved wife, Jan, and to everyone touched by the harsh reality of blood cancers. It’s staggering to think that every three minutes, someone in the U.S. receives a diagnosis of leukemia, lymphoma, or myeloma, and heartbreakingly, someone loses their fight every nine minutes.
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“Penthouse, please,” I requested, my finger hovering over the button of the self-service elevator. The compact space could barely accommodate three people, yet somehow, it felt roomy. Jan stepped in beside me, her eyes sparkling with anticipation, and one of her friends joined us. In that moment, I couldn’t help but admire her. She had always captivated me, but on our wedding day fifty years ago, she was nothing short of breathtaking.
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“Richard!” A familiar voice called out just as I was about to step into the narrow alleyway between Sofia Color Lounge and the soon-to-open coffee shop where Beadsmith once stood. I turned around and saw—Eric! A genuine smile spread across my face as I recognized him. He was pushing a stroller, his daughter peeking out with bright, curious eyes.
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Rituals often become another item on our to-do lists, rushed and stripped of their more profound significance. When we overlook their meaning and purpose, we hinder our ability to heal from loss and navigate the complexities of grief.
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by Maria Reva
“Endling” by Maria Reva, a novel of exceptional literary merit, has been longlisted for the 2024 Booker Prize. Set in Ukraine, the story follows an eccentric scientist who breeds rare snails and two sisters pretending to be part of the marriage industry in their quest to find their activist mother. As Russia invades, they embark on a wild journey that involves kidnapped bachelors and the last of its kind snail. This darkly comic novel delves into themes of survival, love, and hope in times of increasing darkness.
In Ukraine in 2022, Yeva is a loner and a daring scientist who lives outside her mob country. She traverses the country’s forests and valleys, attempting to breed rare snails, though her efforts often fail. Meanwhile, her relatives pressured her not to settle down and start a family. What they don’t realize is that Yeva is already dating multiple men—not for love, but to fund her work—entertaining Westerners who come to Ukraine on guided romance tours believing they’ll find docile brides untainted by feminism and modernity.
Nastia and her sister, Solomiya, are also caught up in the booming marriage industry. They pose as a hopeful bride and her translator while secretly searching for their missing mother, who disappeared after years of fierce activism against the romance tours.
Together, they embark on a journey across hundreds of miles, joined by three angry women, a truckload of kidnapped bachelors, and Lefty, a rare snail with one last chance to perpetuate his species. However, their plans come to a sudden halt when Russia invades.
In a strikingly ambitious and profoundly moving metafictive narrative, Endling masterfully balances horror and family, drawing on Reva’s own experiences as a Ukrainian expat navigating her family’s struggle for survival during wartime. As fiction and reality converge on the page, Reva explores the harsh truths of war: What stories must we tell ourselves to survive? How do we maintain our routines amid military occupation? And for those watching from abroad: Can our sense of normalcy and security ever be restored, or have they always been a fragile illusion?
Endling is a tour de force from an author who weaves a story of love, loss, humor, and devastation that only she can tell.
Maria Reva was born in Ukraine and raised in Canada. She holds an MFA from the Michener Center at the University of Texas. Her fiction has been published in The Atlantic, McSweeney’s, and Best American Short Stories, among others, and has won a National Magazine Award. Additionally, she works as an opera librettist.
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by Margaret Atwood
Old Babes in the Wood: Stories by Margaret Atwood is a collection of remarkable tales, which delight, illuminate, and are quietly devastating. I especially found the stories about Nell and Tig compelling and engaging. Widow describes a letter Nell almost wrote to a friend after Tig is gone. Nell sounded like me when she said, “the warping or folding of time. In some parts of this refolded time, Tig still exists, as much as he ever did.”
The letter Nell is writing to a friend she will never be sent because it speaks to the harsh reality that grief imposes upon us.
Margaret Atwood writes as Nell,
Have I gone into the dark tunnel, dressed in mourning black with gloves and a veil, and come out the other end, all cheery and wearing bright colors and loaded for bear?
No. Because it’s not a tunnel. There isn’t any other end. Time has ceased to be linear, with life events and memories in a chronological row, like beads on a string. It’s the strangest feeling, or experience, or rearrangement. I’m not sure I can explain it to you.
As much as it might have appeared that I was in a dark tunnel after Jan died, I was not and am not now. There is indeed no defined end to the grief journey.
We all must learn how to live without our loved ones. The pathway I have chosen may not work for anyone else.
The earlier Nell and Tig stories are memories about their lives, reminding me of how I wrote about how Jan and I met and eventually married.
I have always enjoyed reading Atwood‘s writing, including The Handmaid’s Tale and The Testaments. I highly recommend Old Babes in the Wood: Stories by Margaret Atwood!
Old Babes in the Wood was my twenty-third book of the year and fulfilled my Goodreads 2023 Reading Challenge, but it will not end my reading this year.
The Goodreads summary provides an overview,
Margaret Atwood has established herself as one of the world’s most visionary and canonical authors. This collection of fifteen extraordinary stories–some of which have appeared in The New Yorker and The New York Times Magazine–explores the full warp and weft of experience, speaking to our unique times with Atwood’s characteristic insight, wit, and intellect.
The two brave sisters of the title story grapple with loss and memory on a perfect summer evening; “Impatient Griselda” explores alienation and miscommunication with a fresh twist on a folkloric classic; and “My Evil Mother” touches on the unbelievable, examining a mother-daughter relationship in which the mother purports to be a witch. At the heart of the collection are seven extraordinary stories that follow a married couple across the decades, the moments big and small that make up a long life of uncommon love–and what comes after.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Michael Stephen Daigle
A Game Called Dead by Michael Stephen Daigle is the sequel to “The Swamps of Jersey,” the first Frank Nagler Mystery. Having read the fourth one – The Red Hand, I recently read the first one and thought this was an excellent time to read the second in this impressive deceptive series.
Reading the Frank Nagler Mysteries is rare when this reviewer knows the author. Mr. Daigle wrote this is the overview of A Game Called Dead.
Nagler is called to investigate the brutal attack on two women at the local college. It begins a tale of urban terror, which seems to be directed at Nagler and his associates.
The story introduces the mysterious terrorist #ARMEGEDDON, who taunted the police from cyberspace.
The story also digs deeper into Nagler’s past, especially the old Charlie Adams serial-killer case, and his relationship with Lauren Fox, who played a crucial role in exposing the political corruption in “Swamps.” She is back and steps into the front of Nagler’s life.
The story also introduced Harriet Waddley-Jones, a college dean, Nagler’s nemesis, and later ally.
Each book is a challenge to write a “better” book. In this case, I wanted tighter, faster action to develop a theme and flow to help carry the story. Sound and the description of sound are keys.
I also wanted Nagler to confront aspects of his past. Can he reconcile them, or will they always haunt him?
This reviewer’s opinion was a more substantial plot than the first book in the Frank Nagler Mysteries. Like all good mysteries, the suspense built page by page, and I figured out who the villain was late in the novel.
The one part that was difficult for me to read was the ending and the potential reigniting of the relationship with Lauren Fox. Having lost Jan, my wife, this year, I am aware of Frank Nagler’s pain in the first book about losing his wife. Ms. Fox only appeared in The Swamps of Jersey as a lost friend. I understand that some widows need to find love again to feel happy, which is not what I need or am seeking. The next book may provide some difficult moments on this topic, but I look forward to reading the next Frank Nagler Mystery.
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by Yiyun Li
The Book of Goose: A Novel by Yiyun Li; is a gripping, heartbreaking new novel about female friendship, art, and memory by the award-winning author of Where Reasons End. The Book of Goose: A Novel is a story of disturbing intimacy, obsession, exploitation, and strength of will. I highly recommend this book as it was not only a page-turner but a novel that helped me on my grief journey.
The novel focuses on many issues that interest me and intrigue me during my grief journey. Jan was anxious that she was not as successful in her work or personal life. I always reassured her not to be concerned.
After Jan died, I had similar feelings. Over time, I have heard words of wisdom and regained my self-confidence.
The Goodreads summary provides an overview,
Fabienne is dead. Her childhood best friend, Agnès, receives the news in America, far from the French countryside where the two girls were raised–the place that Fabienne helped Agnès escape ten years ago. Now, Agnès is free to tell her story.
As children in a war-ravaged, backwater town, they’d built a private world, invisible to everyone but themselves–until Fabienne hatched the plan that would change everything, launching Agnès on an epic trajectory through fame, fortune, and terrible loss.
A magnificent, beguiling tale winding from the postwar rural provinces to Paris, from an English boarding school to the quiet Pennsylvania home where Agnès can live without her past, The Book of Goose is a haunting story of friendship, art, exploitation, and memory by the celebrated author Yiyun Li.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by David Nicholls
I began reading “You Are Here: A Novel” by David Nicholls today. The book, written by the internationally bestselling and Booker Prize-longlisted author of One Day, is an uplifting love story about second chances. It revolves around the idea I learned from grief: sometimes, one must get lost to find their way. The main character, Michael, struggles to cope with the aftermath of his wife’s departure.
He seeks comfort in solitary walks across the English countryside and becomes increasingly reclusive, trying to escape the emptiness of his home.
Meanwhile, Marnie is feeling stuck. She isolates herself in her London flat, avoiding old friends and reminders of her selfish ex-husband. She spends her time with books, battling the feeling that life is passing her by.
A mutual friend and some unpredictable weather bring Michael and Marnie together on a ten-day hike, which both are not thrilled about. However, they find exactly what they’ve been searching for during the journey.
As they stand at the threshold of a promising future, Michael and Marnie’s journey becomes a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.
By bestselling author David Nicholls, “You Are Here” is a hilarious, hopeful, and heartwarming love story. It is a bittersweet and hopeful tale of first encounters, second chances, and finding the way home.
by Hernan Diaz
Trust by Hernan Diaz is an elegant, multifaceted epic that recovers the voices buried under the myths that justify our foundational inequality; Trust is a literary triumph with a beating heart and urgent stakes. The novel is divided into four sections, each engaging and reminding us of the tremendous costs a fortune imposes on those who accumulate wealth. I highly recommend this novel as it is one of the best books I have ever read!
The first section is from Bonds, a successful novel about Benjamin and Helen Rask. Before finishing this section, I was so engrossed that I wanted their story to continue. The second is a memoir of Andrew Bevel, a successful fourth-generation financier, with notations on edits and corrections.
The third section is about Ida Partenza, an Italian-American novelist hired to flesh out Bevel’s memoir. The dynamics between her and Bevel, as well as her father and boyfriend, clarify the storyline and give it depth. Ms. Partenza seeks to find the truth, revealed in the fourth section, comprised of excerpts from Mildred’s diary. Suffice it to say; the admitted fact underscores the burdens of wealth and the antiquated views that limited women’s roles.
Trust is one of the NY Times’ top five fiction books of 2022. I have read four of them, Demon Copperhead, The Candy House, The Furrows, and Checkout 19. Trust was the fifth and the seventy-second book I have read this year.
The Goodreads summary provides an overview.
Even though the roar and effervescence of the 1920s, everyone in New York has heard of Benjamin and Helen Rask. He is a legendary Wall Street tycoon; she is the brilliant daughter of eccentric aristocrats. Together, they have risen to the very top of seemingly endless wealth. But the secrets around their affluence and grandeur incite gossip. At what cost have they acquired their immense fortune? Rumors about Benjamin’s financial maneuvers and Helen’s reclusiveness start to spread–all as a decade of excess and speculation draws to an end.
This is the mystery at the center of a successful 1938 novel, Bonds, which all of New York seems to have read. But it isn’t the only version.
Hernan Diaz’s Trust brilliantly puts the story of these characters into conversation with other accounts–and in tension with the life and perspective of a young woman bent on disentangling fact from fiction. Provocative and propulsive, Trust engages the reader in a quest for the truth while confronting the reality-warping gravitational pull of money and how power often manipulates facts. The result is a novel that becomes more exhilarating and profound with each new layer and revelation.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
