Solitude of the Soul
Being Alone Has Its Limits
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 23 secondsAs I walk, I prefer to immerse myself in the world’s sounds rather than listen to music or a podcast. By using my ears to listen, I can connect with others and extend warm greetings by wishing them a good day. Occasionally, I encounter walkers or runners wearing AirPods, and I wonder if they know my presence. Recently, a woman asked if I was speaking to her. When I confirmed talking with her, she commented that many people have become accustomed to bringing the outside world wherever they go rather than cherishing moments of solitude.
The tranquility of silence has always been comforting to me, but lately, I find myself questioning if there can be such a thing as too much quiet. With Memorial Day approaching and marking the official start of summer, I can’t help but feel a sense of unease. The anticipation of a tranquil weekend weighs heavily on me as calls and texts dwindle, with everyone escaping to the shores or mountains. Usually, a quiet Friday afternoon would signal the beginning of my preparations for Shabbat, but today, it feels more like a foreshadowing of the unraveling of my life.
As Jancee Dunn wrote in “The Surprising Joy of Being Alone” in The New York Times, “Solitude is different from loneliness, said Virginia Thomas, an assistant professor of psychology at Middlebury College. The latter is the feeling that we’re not as connected to others as we would like, producing emotional distress. On the other hand, intentionally seeking out some time to spend alone, she said, is ‘almost always experienced positively.’
I echo Ms. Dunn’s sentiments as there are moments when I feel fully immersed in life and yearn for an afternoon spent in a good book, writing in my journal, or simply sitting on a bench in Hanson Park. However, now I find myself longing for meaningful connections with others beyond just exchanging pleasantries. As a caregiver, I used to cherish the rare moments when I could have time to myself. I truly valued those occasions and recognized that I felt more robust and resilient when I returned to care for Jan.
Striking a balance between solitude and companionship is a constant contemplation for me. While I enjoy volunteering with Bridges, Hanson Park, and other groups, those moments are fleeting. Attending plays, jazz concerts, and sharing meals with friends also brings me happiness, but these experiences are limited. Sometimes, it’s not just about choosing between being alone and being with others; it’s about finding contentment in solitude without feeling lonely. While I can love again, I’m uncertain if I can be loved a second time. I’m hesitant to settle for friendship because what I have differs from what I truly need. I’m curious if I’ll ever find a companion to share my life with or if I’ll reside in a secluded garden of solitude.
The End of Suffering From Grief
My experiences with grief have taught me that it can be an influential teacher. Despite having many skilled instructors throughout my life, it was only when I fully embraced the pain of loss that I learned how to truly live, love, and become the best version of myself. Each step into the unknown future, I reconnect with my soul and hear it singing. I am not a new person, but I have become a better person because of my experiences with grief.
My Life is a Work in Progress!
Being Alone Has Its Limits
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 23 seconds
My Life is a Work in Progress!
The essence of life lies in living it to the fullest, but what if we find ourselves living it all alone? The words of Lauren Groff from her book "The Vaster Wilds" resonate with my situation, as she rightly pointed out that to exist alone and survive is not the same as being alive. Although I strive to make the most of my life by reading, writing, walking, offering help to others, and serving as the board chair for Bridges, I still feel that I am merely surviving from one day to the next.
