Grief’s Lesson: Serving and Blessing the Living!

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes, 10 seconds

Can I, An Ordinary Man,
Serve and Bless?

During the last Friday night service in May, when we commemorated Jan’s Yarhzeit, Rav Uri shared a passage about the valuable lessons that grief can teach us. It wasn’t the first time I had heard the passage, and I’ve used it in a post or stream before. He spoke about how grief can be a great teacher, leading us to serve and bless the living, offer counsel and comfort to the grieving, know when to keep silent, and offer words of love and concern. As many of my friends and readers know, I find comfort in reading, writing, walking, and worshiping, seeking to absorb as much wisdom as possible.

For the past three years and almost three months since Jan’s passing, I’ve been on a journey of personal growth, determined not to be overwhelmed by grief. This transformative path, shaped by the profound lessons of mourning, has led me to where I am today: feeling hopeful and inspired five years into retirement and three years since Jan’s passing. In April, my friend Danny made an observation that sparked a new perspective.

You are an incredible person! You are a new person! A better person! Jan, although not here physically, has done so much for you!

During my morning walks, I pondered Danny’s comment and the passage about grief being a great teacher. The idea of serving the living and blessing them has been weighing on my mind. I extend a heartfelt invitation to you, my dear friends and readers, to join me in this contemplation. Your insights and perspectives are not just welcome; they are crucial as we embark on this journey of reflection and growth together. The passage Rav Uri read resonates with me as I walk around Cranford, reminding me of the strength we find in our shared experiences and the support of our community.

Grief is a great teacher when it sends us back to serve and bless the living. We learn how to counsel and comfort those who, like ourselves, are burdened with sorrow. We learn when to keep silent in their presence and when a word will assure them of our love and concern.

I understand that the passage tells us to comfort those who, like ourselves, are burdened with sorrow. However, I have adapted it to include family, friends, and the community, not just those who have suffered a loss. I explained this to Tom, a friend who worships at St. Michael’s Catholic Church in Cranford. That is your ministry, and you are doing that the same way you have approached every other task in your life,” he said.

What lessons has grief taught me, an ordinary, flawed person? Although I live solely in the present, I have noticed various changes taking place within me. In each instance, the impetus for change began when I listened with my ears, embraced with my arms, and walked into the future with my feet. Many changes are still underway, and I welcome support and encouragement as change is challenging without the help of family, friends, and neighbors. This ongoing journey of personal growth, sparked by the transformative power of grief, is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the potential for positive change.

Family First

I strolled into the serene atmosphere of the Glen Ridge Country Club and quickly realized that I had arrived before Mike, Elyssa, and Nick to the gathering. A wave of thirst washed over me, prompting me to order a refreshing ginger ale. Unfortunately, in my haste, I forgot to request no straw with my drink. As I gracefully meandered across the deck that offered a breathtaking view of the immaculate golf course, onlookers couldn’t help but mistake my beverage for a cocktail due to the presence of a straw. Taking in the stunning vista of Manhattan’s skyline against the backdrop of the luscious, green landscape, I savored each sip of my drink. Amidst this tranquil setting, I found myself pondering how time had flown by so quickly, leading to the realization that my oldest grandchild is a thirteen-year-old middle school graduate.

Eighth Grade Graduation

As I turned toward the interior of the building, my eyes fell upon a poignant scene. Mike was carrying Wes, followed by Elyssa and Nick. I couldn’t help but remind myself that after tonight, Nick would embrace her birth name, Liliah-Rae. Despite having grown accustomed to calling her Nick for over two years, I wondered how long it would take me to adjust to using her original name.

The veranda felt incredibly spacious, almost like a sprawling racecourse. It was quite a sight to behold Mike running after Wes, evoking memories of Mike’s younger days in contrast to his current middle-aged self. Nick and her classmates seemed to be dressed beyond their years, appearing older than their teenage selves. Most of the twenty-two students were female and looked mature for their age. As they sat on the dais, I observed the audience, trying to gauge how many people, apart from a few teachers, were around my age.

As we gathered around the table with full plates of delicious food from the buffet, I thanked Mike and Elyssa for including me in the celebration. Mike warmly embraced me and said, “I’m so happy you’re here to celebrate the graduation and this special occasion with us. We’re all family, and it’s important to celebrate together.” I thanked them again and inquired why they had four seats. We had to get one for Wes,” Elyssa explained. Wes, of course, was sitting on his dad’s lap during the event.

The newly graduated students were so happy and excited that they began to dance and leap around while cheering spontaneously. My son Mike mentioned it was time to take Elyssa and Wes home because it was late. I couldn’t help but wonder when the tables would turn, and I’d go to bed earlier than Wes. Elyssa made a playful request for us to save dessert for their seats, teasing that Mike would probably devour all the sweets if given the chance. As the wait staff brought out our food, I reminded her that my family of three would be returning soon and would want dessert.

As the evening’s activities gradually came to a close, I found myself immersed in deep contemplation. I vividly recalled the moment I cradled Lilah-Rae in my arms when she was born. Little did I know then that I would one day commemorate my eldest grandchild’s graduation from middle school. Amidst the unpredictability of life and the world, it was a profound realization to acknowledge that I was present in this moment. When Mike returned, I expressed my gratitude once more and shared my hope of being there in four years for a high school graduation and in ten years for Wes’s middle school graduation. It will be twelve years for Wes,” he gently reminded me. I was caught off guard, hurriedly reaching for a napkin to conceal my surprise.

In four years, I will be seventy-nine, and I am hopeful that I will be able to witness Liliah-Rae’s high school graduation. Looking further into the future, I am still determined to be there for another four years, but I am determined to be present for Wes’s graduation in twelve years and his little brother’s in fourteen years. As I drove home, sadness engulfed me like a fog rolling across a quiet golf course. Taking the Cranford exit off the Parkway, I came to terms with the unpredictable nature of life. Whether I partake in these future celebrations, I can only cherish my time and shower them with love and blessings, one day at a time.

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Checkout 19: A Novel

Read: December 2022

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Checkout 19: A Novel

by Claire-Louise Bennett

Checkout 19: A Novel by Claire-Louise Bennett, a New York Times Best Ten Best Books of 2022; the newspaper highlights the novel’s “unusual setting: the human mind — a brilliant, surprising, weird and very funny one. All the words one might use to describe this book — experimental, autofictional, surrealist — fail to convey the sheer pleasure of ‘Checkout 19.'” I fully agree with this description and found myself living in my mind.

Since Jan died in May of 2021, I have found myself with no one to talk to about the day-to-day events that consume so much of our lives. Checkout 19: A Novel reminded me that I have only been carrying those intimate conversations in my mind. Is it surreal? Yes. Yes, it is. Reading this novel helped me to accept the importance of those conversations. The new characters and scenarios I conjure are less creative than Ms. Claire-Louise Bennett’s

Goodreads describes Checkout 19: A Novel as the adventures of a young woman discovering her genius through the people she meets–and dreams up–along the way. Checkout 19 is a radical affirmation of the power of the imagination, and the magic escapes those who master it open to us all.

I recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In a working-class town in a county west of London, a schoolgirl scribbles stories in the back pages of her exercise book, intoxicated by the first sparks of her imagination. As she grows, everything and everyone she encounters become fuel for a burning talent. The large Russian man in the ancient maroon car who careens around the grocery store where she works as a checkout clerk, and slips her a copy of Beyond Good and Evil. The growing heaps of other books in which she loses-and finds-herself. Even the derailing of a friendship, in a devastating violation. The thrill of learning to conjure characters and scenarios in her head is matched by the exhilaration of forging her own way in the world, the two kinds of ingenuity kindling to a brilliant conflagration.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Essential Hamilton: Letters & Other Writings: A Library of America Special Publication

Read: February 2019

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The Essential Hamilton: Letters & Other Writings

by Edited by Joanne B. Freeman

The Essential Hamilton: Letters & Other Writings, edited by Joanne B. Freeman, Professor of History and American Studies at Yale University, is a must-read in our times when a constitutional crisis is the watchword of our day. Compared to reading all 27 volumes of Hamilton’s writings, this book provides the essential texts that offer a clear understanding of both the revolutionary era, the debates over the constitution, Hamilton’s impact as Secretary of the Treasury, and his downfall and eventual downfall death in Weehawken.

Professor Freeman’s introductions and chronology help place the writings into a historical context.

The Essential Hamilton is one of four books that I purchased after my first One Day University class.

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God Shot

Read: December 2021

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God Shot by Chelsea Bieker

by Chelsea Bieker

God Shot by Chelsea Bieker, one of NPR’s Books We Love from 2020, is about the town of Peaches, California, where drought has settled in for the long term. The area of the Central Valley where fourteen-year-old Lacey May and her alcoholic mother live was once an agricultural paradise. Now it’s an environmental disaster, a place of cracked earth and barren raisin farms.

In their desperation, residents have turned to a cult leader named Pastor Vern for guidance. Everybody is praying for survival through secret “assignments” to bring the rain.

God Shot is an enjoyable read. However, I first found it challenging to accept Pastor Vern’s assignments, especially to Lacey May and her fellow teenage girls. Would people believe in a cult leader and get “assignments” that involve women fully accepting male domination in the twenty-first century? When I had doubts, I would wake up, listen to the news, or read the papers and discover that it is plausible and does happen in our world.

After being god-shot, Lacey May becomes one day at a time feminist as she has to rely on herself and other women who do not accept Pastor Vern’s divine leadership. Slowly but surely, she and her friends find a miracle to help them escape not only the environmental disaster caused by the drought but the moral depravity of Pastor Vern.

Goodreads provides this overview of the God Shot.

Lacey has no reason to doubt the pastor. But then her life explodes in a single unimaginable act of abandonment: her mother, exiled from the community for her sins, leaves Lacey and runs off with a man she barely knows. Abandoned and distraught, Lacey May moves in with her widowed grandma, Cherry, who is more concerned with her taxidermy mouse collection than her own granddaughter. As Lacey May endures the increasingly appalling acts of men who want to write all the rules and begins to uncover the full extent of Pastor Vern’s shocking plan to bring fertility back to the land, she decides she must go on a quest to find her mother no matter what it takes. With her only guidance coming from the romance novels she reads and the unlikely companionship of the women who knew her mother, she must find her own way through unthinkable circumstances.

Possessed of an unstoppable plot and a brilliantly soulful voice, Godshot is a book of grit, humor, and heart, a debut novel about female friendship and resilience, mother loss and motherhood, and seeking salvation in unexpected places. It introduces a writer who gives Flannery O’Connor’s Gothic parables a Californian twist and who emerges with a miracle that is all her own.

I recommend this novel without reservations!

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Interpreter of Maladies

Read: June 2022

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Interpreter of Maladies

by Jhumpa Lahiri

Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri is an incredible book. Each short story is a page-turner that I will re-read many times. As Ms. Lahiri writes, “The question of identity is always a difficult one, but especially so for those who are culturally displaced, as immigrants are, or those who grow up in two worlds simultaneously, as is the case for their children.”

Since 2000, Interpreter of Maladies has been on my reading list. For what is a writer, if not an interpreter of maladies? Perhaps, I waited until now so that I would have grief to help guide me thru this collection of short stories. I highly recommend Interpreter of Maladies.

The Goodreads summary provides a concise overview.

Navigating between the Indian traditions they’ve inherited and the baffling new world, the characters in Jhumpa Lahiri’s elegant, touching stories seek love beyond the barriers of culture and generations. In “A Temporary Matter,” published in The New Yorker, a young Indian-American couple faces the heartbreak of a stillborn birth. At the same time, their Boston neighborhood copes with a nightly blackout. In the title story, an interpreter guides an American family through the India of their ancestors and hears an astonishing confession. Lahiri writes with deft cultural insight reminiscent of Anita Desai and a nuanced depth that recalls Mavis Gallant.


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The Catch

Read: June 2025

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The Catch: A Novel

by Yrsa Daley-Ward

In “The Catch,” her captivating debut novel, Yrsa Daley-Ward creates a vibrant multiverse that delves into the complexities of daughterhood and mother-want. She explores the sacrifices women often make in their pursuit of self-actualization. The result is a remarkable novel that boldly poses the question: “How can it ever be a crime to choose yourself?”

Twin sisters Clara and Dempsey have always struggled to connect, their familial bond severed after their mother vanished into the Thames. As infants, they were adopted by different families: Clara went to live with a successful, upper-class couple, while a distant and unaffectionate city councilor took in Dempsey. As adults, the sisters have settled into a comfortable estrangement until Clara spots a woman on the streets of London who looks exactly like their mother. The twist? This version of Serene appears ageless and has lived a childless life — the very life she might have had if the girls had never been born.

As with most things, Clara and Dempsey cannot agree on the strange appearance of this woman. Clara, a celebrity author with a penchant for excessive drinking and one-night stands, is eager to welcome the confident and temperamental Serene into her home. In contrast, reclusive Dempsey, who makes a modest living doing menial data entry work from her apartment, is suspicious of the entire situation, believing it to be a cunning scheme by a con woman.

As the sisters clash over this stranger who increasingly intrudes into their lives, they hurtle toward a confrontation that threatens their very existence, ultimately forcing them to face their shared past together.


Yrsa Daley-Ward is a poet, writer, and actress. She is the author of The Howbone, and The Terrible, for which she won the PEN Ackerley Prize. She lives in Los Angeles.



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Vulture: A Novel

Read: September 2025

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Vulture: A Novel

by Phoebe Greenwood

Phoebe Greenwood‘s debut novel, Vulture, immerses readers in the dark heart of Western media and boldly questions its role in the tragedies it reports. This darkly humorous and emotionally charged satire exposes the inner workings of the war news industry. Set in the Middle East, Vulture is a fast-paced critique of war reporting, blending elements of satire with a tragicomic coming-of-age story.

In November 2012, Sara Byrne, an ambitious young journalist, is sent to Gaza to cover the war from The Beach. At the four-star hotel, the staff work tirelessly to provide safety, comfort, and generator-powered internet for the world’s media, all while their own homes and families are under threat.

Sara is determined to use this war to jumpstart her stalled career and win back her lover. When her fixer, Nasser, refuses to help her set up the dangerous story she believes will make her name, she turns to Fadi, the youngest member of a powerful militant family. Driven by the demons of a troubled and entitled childhood, Sara is willing to do anything to prove herself, even if it brings disaster to those around her.


Phoebe Greenwood is a writer and journalist based in London. From 2010 to 2013, she worked as a freelance correspondent in Jerusalem, covering the Middle East for publications such as The Guardian, The Daily Telegraph, and The Sunday Times. From 2013 to 2021, she served as an editor and correspondent at The Guardian, specializing in foreign affairs.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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