Grief’s Lesson: Serving and Blessing the Living!

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes, 10 seconds

Can I, An Ordinary Man,
Serve and Bless?

During the last Friday night service in May, when we commemorated Jan’s Yarhzeit, Rav Uri shared a passage about the valuable lessons that grief can teach us. It wasn’t the first time I had heard the passage, and I’ve used it in a post or stream before. He spoke about how grief can be a great teacher, leading us to serve and bless the living, offer counsel and comfort to the grieving, know when to keep silent, and offer words of love and concern. As many of my friends and readers know, I find comfort in reading, writing, walking, and worshiping, seeking to absorb as much wisdom as possible.

For the past three years and almost three months since Jan’s passing, I’ve been on a journey of personal growth, determined not to be overwhelmed by grief. This transformative path, shaped by the profound lessons of mourning, has led me to where I am today: feeling hopeful and inspired five years into retirement and three years since Jan’s passing. In April, my friend Danny made an observation that sparked a new perspective.

You are an incredible person! You are a new person! A better person! Jan, although not here physically, has done so much for you!

During my morning walks, I pondered Danny’s comment and the passage about grief being a great teacher. The idea of serving the living and blessing them has been weighing on my mind. I extend a heartfelt invitation to you, my dear friends and readers, to join me in this contemplation. Your insights and perspectives are not just welcome; they are crucial as we embark on this journey of reflection and growth together. The passage Rav Uri read resonates with me as I walk around Cranford, reminding me of the strength we find in our shared experiences and the support of our community.

Grief is a great teacher when it sends us back to serve and bless the living. We learn how to counsel and comfort those who, like ourselves, are burdened with sorrow. We learn when to keep silent in their presence and when a word will assure them of our love and concern.

I understand that the passage tells us to comfort those who, like ourselves, are burdened with sorrow. However, I have adapted it to include family, friends, and the community, not just those who have suffered a loss. I explained this to Tom, a friend who worships at St. Michael’s Catholic Church in Cranford. That is your ministry, and you are doing that the same way you have approached every other task in your life,” he said.

What lessons has grief taught me, an ordinary, flawed person? Although I live solely in the present, I have noticed various changes taking place within me. In each instance, the impetus for change began when I listened with my ears, embraced with my arms, and walked into the future with my feet. Many changes are still underway, and I welcome support and encouragement as change is challenging without the help of family, friends, and neighbors. This ongoing journey of personal growth, sparked by the transformative power of grief, is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the potential for positive change.

Family First

I strolled into the serene atmosphere of the Glen Ridge Country Club and quickly realized that I had arrived before Mike, Elyssa, and Nick to the gathering. A wave of thirst washed over me, prompting me to order a refreshing ginger ale. Unfortunately, in my haste, I forgot to request no straw with my drink. As I gracefully meandered across the deck that offered a breathtaking view of the immaculate golf course, onlookers couldn’t help but mistake my beverage for a cocktail due to the presence of a straw. Taking in the stunning vista of Manhattan’s skyline against the backdrop of the luscious, green landscape, I savored each sip of my drink. Amidst this tranquil setting, I found myself pondering how time had flown by so quickly, leading to the realization that my oldest grandchild is a thirteen-year-old middle school graduate.

Eighth Grade Graduation

As I turned toward the interior of the building, my eyes fell upon a poignant scene. Mike was carrying Wes, followed by Elyssa and Nick. I couldn’t help but remind myself that after tonight, Nick would embrace her birth name, Liliah-Rae. Despite having grown accustomed to calling her Nick for over two years, I wondered how long it would take me to adjust to using her original name.

The veranda felt incredibly spacious, almost like a sprawling racecourse. It was quite a sight to behold Mike running after Wes, evoking memories of Mike’s younger days in contrast to his current middle-aged self. Nick and her classmates seemed to be dressed beyond their years, appearing older than their teenage selves. Most of the twenty-two students were female and looked mature for their age. As they sat on the dais, I observed the audience, trying to gauge how many people, apart from a few teachers, were around my age.

As we gathered around the table with full plates of delicious food from the buffet, I thanked Mike and Elyssa for including me in the celebration. Mike warmly embraced me and said, “I’m so happy you’re here to celebrate the graduation and this special occasion with us. We’re all family, and it’s important to celebrate together.” I thanked them again and inquired why they had four seats. We had to get one for Wes,” Elyssa explained. Wes, of course, was sitting on his dad’s lap during the event.

The newly graduated students were so happy and excited that they began to dance and leap around while cheering spontaneously. My son Mike mentioned it was time to take Elyssa and Wes home because it was late. I couldn’t help but wonder when the tables would turn, and I’d go to bed earlier than Wes. Elyssa made a playful request for us to save dessert for their seats, teasing that Mike would probably devour all the sweets if given the chance. As the wait staff brought out our food, I reminded her that my family of three would be returning soon and would want dessert.

As the evening’s activities gradually came to a close, I found myself immersed in deep contemplation. I vividly recalled the moment I cradled Lilah-Rae in my arms when she was born. Little did I know then that I would one day commemorate my eldest grandchild’s graduation from middle school. Amidst the unpredictability of life and the world, it was a profound realization to acknowledge that I was present in this moment. When Mike returned, I expressed my gratitude once more and shared my hope of being there in four years for a high school graduation and in ten years for Wes’s middle school graduation. It will be twelve years for Wes,” he gently reminded me. I was caught off guard, hurriedly reaching for a napkin to conceal my surprise.

In four years, I will be seventy-nine, and I am hopeful that I will be able to witness Liliah-Rae’s high school graduation. Looking further into the future, I am still determined to be there for another four years, but I am determined to be present for Wes’s graduation in twelve years and his little brother’s in fourteen years. As I drove home, sadness engulfed me like a fog rolling across a quiet golf course. Taking the Cranford exit off the Parkway, I came to terms with the unpredictable nature of life. Whether I partake in these future celebrations, I can only cherish my time and shower them with love and blessings, one day at a time.

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The Little Prince

Read: May 2021

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The Little Prince

by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is often referred to as a children’s book. I read it as a child and later read it to my children. After Jan died, I picked it up again and read it more than once.

I have found quotes from the book very helpful during my grief journey. These are three that I often use in my writing and my conversations with friends and family.

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”

It is such a mysterious place, the land of tears.

You see, one loves the sunset when one is so sad.”

The first quote about beautiful things only felt in the heart summarizes how I knew Jan was the one for me within seconds of meeting her.

For those who have not read the book, this overview might help convince you to read it today!

The Little Prince describes his journey from planet to planet, each tiny world populated by a single adult. It’s a wonderfully inventive sequence that evokes the great fairy tales and monuments of postmodern whimsy. The author pokes similar fun at a business person, a geographer, and a lamplighter, all of whom signify some futile aspect of adult existence.

The Little Prince will be by my bedside as long as I live!

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When No One is Watching

Read: February 2022

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When No One is Watching

by Alyssa Cole

When No One Is Watching by Alyssa Cole is a novel where the gentrification of a Brooklyn neighborhood takes on a sinister new meaning.

Sydney Green is Brooklyn-born and raised, but her beloved neighborhood seems to change every time she blinks. Condos are sprouting like weeds, FOR SALE signs are popping up overnight, and the neighbors she’s known all her life are disappearing. To hold onto her community’s past and present, Sydney channels her frustration into a walking tour and finds an unlikely and unwanted assistant in one of the new arrivals to the block—her neighbor Theo.

But Sydney and Theo’s deep dive into history quickly becomes a dizzying descent into paranoia and fear. After all, their neighbors may not have moved to the suburbs, and the push to revitalize the community may be more deadly than advertised.

When does coincidence become a conspiracy? Where do people go when gentrification pushes them out? Can Sydney and Theo trust each other—or themselves—long enough to find out before they too disappear?

Having lived in Brooklyn and seen the impacts of gentrification, redlining, and other practices, I found this book one that I truly enjoyed. The book will provide a detailed history lesson if you are like Theo and have no thought of these issues.

I enjoyed the visit to Weeksville, as I have been there on several professional occasions. The history of that community needs to be told.

I recommend this book.

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The Rabbit Hutch

Read: October 2022

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The Rabbit Hutch

by Tess Gunty

My sixtieth book this year, The Rabbit Hutch, was a page-turner that I highly recommend. The Rabbit Hutch by Tess Gunty is a debut novel that won the 2022 National Book Award for fiction. It is a novel about four teenagers—recently aged out of the state foster-care system—living together in an apartment building in the post-industrial Midwest, exploring the quest for transcendence and the desire for love.

As Viktor Frankl wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning, “love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.

Ms. Gunty’s book focuses on that ultimate and higher goal. If you can read only one book this year, I recommend The Rabbit Hutch!

“This week is the ceremony for the National Book Award, and one of the finalists is Tess Gunty, whose debut novel, The Rabbit Hutch, is a finalist in the fiction category,” said Kerry Nolan as she spoke with Ms. Gunty.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

The automobile industry has abandoned Vacca Vale, Indiana, leaving the residents behind, too. In a run-down apartment building on the edge of town, commonly known as the Rabbit Hutch, several people now reside quietly, looking for ways to live in a dying city. Apartment C2 is lonely and detached. C6 is aging and stuck. C8 harbors a great fear. But C4 is of particular interest.

Here live four teenagers who have recently aged out of the state foster-care system: three boys and one girl, Blandine, who The Rabbit Hutch centers around. Hauntingly beautiful and unnervingly bright, Blandine is plagued by the structures, people, and places that not only failed her but actively harmed her. Now all Blandine wants is an escape, a true bodily escape like the mystics describe in the books she reads.

Set across one week and culminating in a shocking act of violence, The Rabbit Hutch chronicles a town on the brink, desperate for rebirth. How far will its residents—especially Blandine—go to achieve it? Does one person’s gain always come at another’s expense? Tess Gunty’s The Rabbit Hutch is a gorgeous and provocative tale of loneliness and community, entrapment and freedom. It announces a major new voice in American fiction, one bristling with intelligence and vulnerability.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Funny Story

Read: November 2024

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Funny Story: A Novel

by Emily Henry

Today, I began reading Emily Henry‘s Funny Story, a delightful new novel about a pair of opposites connected by an unexpected bond. It was featured in The New York Times 100 Notable Books of 2024. The narrator, Daphne, finds herself single after being dumped following her fiancé’s bachelor party, and she ends up moving in with her ex-fiancé’s former boyfriend.

Daphne always enjoyed how her fiancé, Peter, told their love story: they met on a blustery day, fell in love over an errant hat, and moved back to his lakeside hometown to start their life together. He was great at telling their story—until he realized he was in love with his childhood best friend, Petra.

This is where Daphne begins her new chapter: stranded in beautiful Waning Bay, Michigan, without friends or family, but with a dream job as a children’s librarian (which barely pays the bills). She proposes to room with the only person who might understand her situation: Miles Nowak, Petra’s ex.

Miles is scruffy and chaotic, finding comfort in the sounds of heartbreak ballads. He is the opposite of practical, buttoned-up Daphne, whose coworkers know so little about her that they have a running bet whether she is in the FBI or witness protection. The two roommates initially avoid each other, but one day, while mourning their circumstances, they develop a fragile friendship and devise a plan. Their plan includes posting misleading photos of their summer adventures together—who could blame them for wanting to create a better story?

But it’s all just for show, of course, because there’s no way Daphne would start this new chapter by falling in love with her ex-fiancé’s new fiancée’s ex… right?



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Crow Lake

Read: January 2022

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Crow Lake

by Mary Lawson

Crow Lake by Mary Lawson is set in northern Ontario’s rural “badlands.” The badlands are where heartbreak and hardship are mirrored in the landscape of the farming Pye family. Crow Lake is that rare find, a first novel so quietly assured, so emotionally pitch-perfect, you know from the opening page that this is the real thing – a literary experience in which to lose yourself, by an author of immense talent.

Crow Lake was a page-turner for me once I read the prologue.

Two families dominate the story.

On the one hand, it is the Greek tragedy of the Pye family. On their farm, “the sins of the fathers are visited on the sons, and terrible events occur—offstage.”

Kate Morrison has left her two brothers and sister at the lake to become a zoologist. The four siblings lost their parents and struggled to remain together. Their “tragedy looks more immediate if less brutal, but is, in reality, insidious and divisive.

As Goodreads describes the novel,

In this universal drama of family love and misunderstandings, of resentments harbored and driven underground, Lawson ratchets up the tension with heartbreaking humor and consummate control, continually overturning one’s expectations right to the very end. Tragic, funny, unforgettable, this deceptively simple masterpiece about the perils of hero worship leaped to the top of the bestseller lists only days after being released in Canada and earned glowing reviews in The New York Times and The Globe and Mail, to name a few.

I highly recommend this novel and am looking forward to reading more from Mary Lawson.

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Rejection: Fiction

Read: December 2024

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Rejection: Fiction

by Tony Tulathimutte

Today, I dove into Tony Tulathimutte‘s “Rejection: Fiction,” and I’m already captivated! This book was longlisted for the 2024 National Book Award in Fiction and named a New York Times Best Book of the Year. Tulathimutte, known for his award-winning work “Private Citizens,” weaves together a series of electrifying linked stories that keenly examine how rejection weaves its way into the lives and relationships of his deeply intertwined characters.

With sharp observations and outrageous humor, *Rejection* delves into the most sensitive issues of modern life. This collection of seven interconnected stories transitions smoothly between the personal crises of a complex cast of characters and the comic tragedies associated with sex, relationships, identity, and the internet.

In “The Feminist,” a young man’s passionate allyship turns into furious nihilism as he realizes, after thirty lonely years, that his efforts are not leading to romantic success or even getting laid; in “Pics,” a young woman’s unrequited crush spirals into obsession, systematically eroding her sense of self. “Ahegao; or, The Ballad of Sexual Repression,” depicts a shy late bloomer whose fumbling attempts at a first relationship result in a life-changing mistake. As these characters intersect through dating apps, social media feeds, dimly lit bars, and bedrooms, they reveal how our delusions can distort our desire for connection.

These brilliant satires examine the understated sorrows of rejection with a modern classic’s authority and a manifesto’s frenetic energy. Bold and unforgettable, Rejection is a striking mosaic that redefines what it means to face rejection from lovers, friends, society, and oneself.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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