Richard W. shared a post on May 5, 2023
Jan and Richard

Is My Heartbeat Dictating My Stories?

Words Flow Swiftly with Each Beat of My Heart!

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 18 seconds
Jan and Richard at YWCA Gala

Jan and Richard at YWCA Gala, October 2019

Whenever I feel my heart beating, I can’t help but write down my thoughts. Some are about falling in love with Jan, even when I thought it would never happen or might, unfortunately, end abruptly. Other articles are about dealing with grief and living alone but not being lonely. Whichever the theme, they are honest stories about love and life that I feel compelled to share.

Although I have always dreamed of being a writer, I know I am only a novice scribe. Perhaps I am only responding to my heart’s tearful cries? At times, the words flow so fast that they pile up like ice blocks once did in the Rahway River.

However, two years after my wife’s funeral, I have used words to express my deepest emotions and capture the true essence of love in my stories. Although we both knew before the first kiss that our love for each other would endure forever after the last kiss, the sudden loss has forced me to reevaluate our passion like a detective seeking clues to an unsolvable mystery.

When my writing captures the full measure of love’s beauty, it brings me immense joy because the power of love is immeasurable. It can heal, inspire, and bring meaning to our lives. Through my writing, I have found solace in expressing my deepest emotions and capturing the true essence of love.

As I ponder Viktor E. Frankl‘s profound words on love being the ultimate goal of life, I am grateful for the true love Jan and I shared, which will forever reside in my heart.

Sharing Jan’s love has been my salvation and the most precious offering I can make to those around me. Love can heal and bring light to even the darkest moments, so I cherish every opportunity to share it with my family, grandchildren, friends, and neighbors. Through my humble writings and sharing Jan’s, I aspire to encourage friends and foes to pursue love as life’s ultimate goal.

Without love, life would be meaningless – but with it, everything else falls into place. My stories will be my legacy, a testament to the power and beauty of love I can leave behind for my loved ones and community.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Wedding Day

The Day Jan and I Married!

Our wedding day was a beautiful celebration of love and commitment, shared with our closest family and friends. The special memories we made on that day will always be kept close to our hearts, reminding us of the strong bond between Jan and me.
Richard W. Brown August 9, 2022

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The Payback: A Novel

Read: July 2025

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The Payback: A Novel

by Kashana Cauley

In “The Payback: A Novel,” Kashana Cauley delivers a witty and incisive examination of race, power, and the everyday struggles we all face. The story follows Jada Williams, who finds herself on the run from the relentless Debt Police. As she grapples with her daunting student loans, she teams up with two quirky coworkers from the mall who offer their unexpected support on a plan to exact revenge by erasing their student loan debt.

With sharp humor and captivating storytelling, Cauley highlights the complex web of financial struggles, making readers laugh while also encouraging thoughtful reflection.

Jada Williams has a talent for judging people by their appearance. From across the mall, she can determine not only someone’s inseam and pant size but also the exact style they need to transform their lives. Unfortunately, she is no longer using this superpower as a wardrobe designer for Hollywood stars; instead, she is earning minimum wage plus commission at the Glendale mall.

When Jada is fired yet again, she must outrun the newly instated Debt Police, who are pursuing her relentlessly. However, Jada, like any great antihero, isn’t going to wait for the authorities to come after her. With the help of two other debt-burdened coworkers at the mall, she devises a plan for revenge. Together, the three women formulate a plan to erase their student loans forever and exact revenge on the system that promised them everything and then tried to take it all back.

The Payback is a razor-sharp and hilarious examination of race, power, and the daily grind, from one of the most original and exciting writers working today.

Kashana Cauley is the author of The Payback and The Survivalists, which was named a best book of 2023 by the BBC, Today, Vogue, and more. Cauley is also a television writer, having worked on The Great North, Pod Save America on HBO, and The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Her writing has also appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, Esquire, Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, and other notable publications. Find out more at KashanaCauley.com.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!

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Vulture: A Novel

Read: September 2025

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Vulture: A Novel

by Phoebe Greenwood

Phoebe Greenwood‘s debut novel, Vulture, immerses readers in the dark heart of Western media and boldly questions its role in the tragedies it reports. This darkly humorous and emotionally charged satire exposes the inner workings of the war news industry. Set in the Middle East, Vulture is a fast-paced critique of war reporting, blending elements of satire with a tragicomic coming-of-age story.

In November 2012, Sara Byrne, an ambitious young journalist, is sent to Gaza to cover the war from The Beach. At the four-star hotel, the staff work tirelessly to provide safety, comfort, and generator-powered internet for the world’s media, all while their own homes and families are under threat.

Sara is determined to use this war to jumpstart her stalled career and win back her lover. When her fixer, Nasser, refuses to help her set up the dangerous story she believes will make her name, she turns to Fadi, the youngest member of a powerful militant family. Driven by the demons of a troubled and entitled childhood, Sara is willing to do anything to prove herself, even if it brings disaster to those around her.

Phoebe Greenwood is a writer and journalist based in London. From 2010 to 2013, she worked as a freelance correspondent in Jerusalem, covering the Middle East for publications such as The Guardian, The Daily Telegraph, and The Sunday Times. From 2013 to 2021, she served as an editor and correspondent at The Guardian, specializing in foreign affairs.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!

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When We Cease to Understand the World

Read: September 2024

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When We Cease to Understand the World

by Benjamín Labatut

Today, I began reading When We Cease to Understand the World by Benjamín Labatut, translated by Adrian Nathan West. This book, listed on The New York Times 100 Best Books of the 21st Century, promises to be thought-provoking as it delves into the intricate connections between scientific and mathematical discovery, madness, and destruction.

In a world where scientific advancements often involve ethical dilemmas and societal implications, this book offers a unique perspective on the lives of scientists who have shaped our understanding of the world. Fritz Haber, Alexander Grothendieck, Werner Heisenberg, and Erwin Schrödinger are some of the luminaries whose troubled lives Benjamín Labatut deeply explores in his fictional examination. Labatut shows how these scientists and thinkers grappled with profound questions of existence, experiencing strokes of unparalleled genius, alienating friends and lovers, and descending into isolation and insanity. Their discoveries, some of which significantly improved human life, while others led to chaos and unimaginable suffering, continue to shape our world.

With a breakneck pace and a wealth of disturbing detail, Labatut uses fiction’s imaginative resources to tell the stories of the scientists and mathematicians who expanded our notions of the possible.

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People Collide: A Novel

Read: October 2023

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People Collide: A Novel

by Isle McElroy

Today, I started reading “People Collide” by Isle McElroy. The book is about a gender-bending, body-switching story that explores the themes of marriage, identity, and sex. “People Collide” is a profound exploration of ambition, sacrifice, desire, and loss. The book sheds a refreshing light on themes of love, sexuality, and the truth of who we are.

The protagonist, Eli, lives with his wife, Elizabeth, in a cramped apartment in Bulgaria. One day, Eli wakes up to find that he has switched bodies with Elizabeth, who has disappeared without a trace. The story follows Eli’s journey across Europe and America to find his missing wife while he learns to exist in her body.

As Eli comes closer to finding Elizabeth, he begins to question the effect of their metamorphosis on their relationship. He wonders how long he can keep up the illusion of living as someone else. Will their marriage wither away entirely in each other’s bodies? Or will this transformation be the key to making their marriage thrive?

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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The Amen Effect

Read: March 2025

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The Amen Effect

by Sharon Brous

Sharon Brous, a prominent American rabbi, argues in The Amen Effect: Ancient Wisdom to Heal Our Hearts and Mend Our Broken World that the essential spiritual work of our time—though instinctual and often countercultural—focuses on connecting through celebration, sorrow, and solidarity. We must support one another in times of joy and pain, embracing vulnerability and possibility, nurturing relationships with shared purposes, and creating communities centered on care.

From one of our country’s most prominent rabbis comes this inspiring book about the power of community, based on one of her most impactful sermons. What will it take to mend our broken hearts and rebuild our society in a time of loneliness, isolation, social rupture, and alienation?

Brous contends that honoring our most basic human instinct—the yearning for authentic connection—is the way to reawaken our shared humanity and begin the healing process. This kind of sacred presence is captured by the word amen, a powerful ancient idea that we affirm the fullness of one another’s experience by demonstrating, in body and word: “I see you. You are not alone.”

An acclaimed preacher and storyteller, Brous pairs heart-driven anecdotes from her experience building and pastoring to a leading-edge faith community over the past two decades with ancient Jewish wisdom and contemporary science. The result is a clarion call: the sense of belonging engendered by our genuine presence is both a social and biological need, as well as a moral and spiritual necessity.

With original insights and practical tools, The Amen Effect translates foundational ideas into simple practices that connect us to our better angels, offering a blueprint for a more meaningful life and a more connected and caring world.

As she writes in the preface, after listing the joys and pains of life, weddings, births, and death,

It’s in these times that I feel the weight of the work, the privilege of being alive, the blessing of being so close to such raw beauty and pain. It’s there that I have learned the power of saying ‘Amen‘ to one another’s grief and joy, sorrow and celebration with our very presence. Of bearing witness to profound suffering and protesting injustice with our very presence. Of comforting and consoling, surviving and thriving with our very presence. What I’ve learned, during the years, is the meaning of sacred companionship. I have seen, in ways subtle and pronounced, a longing to connect with others who can help hold the pain, a need to share what we’ve learned in the trenches, and a desire to give, even when we ourselves have barely caught our breath. And I have seen how knowing that we’re not alone can both heighten our joy and help us endure unimaginable hardship.

Click here to read about my experience listening to Rabbi Brous at the Kol Tzedek Speakers Series at Temple Emanu-El in Westfield.

Sharon Brous is the senior and founding rabbi of IKAR, a leading-edge Jewish community based in Los Angeles, and the author of The Amen Effect: Ancient Wisdom to Heal Our Hearts and Mend Our Broken World, a national bestseller.

In 2013, Brous blessed President Obama and Vice President Biden at the Inaugural National Prayer Service, and in 2021, returned to bless President Biden and Vice President Harris and then led the White House Passover Seder 2021 and the Hanukkah candle lighting with the Vice President and Second Gentleman in 2023. She was ranked as the number one most influential Rabbi in America by Newsweek/The Daily Beast. She has also been recognized by The Forward and the Jerusalem Post as one of the most influential Jews alive today. Her work has appeared in prominent publications, including The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, and The Washington Post. Additionally, her TED talk, “Reclaiming Religion,” has been viewed by over 1.5 million people.

Brous is part of the inaugural cohort of Auburn Seminary’s Senior Fellows program, which brings together top faith leaders working on the frontlines for justice. She sits on the faculty of REBOOT and serves on the International Council of the New Israel Fund, as well as the national steering committee for the Poor People’s Campaign.

A Columbia University graduate (holding both undergraduate and M.A. degrees in Human Rights), she was ordained by the Jewish Theological Seminary and resides in Los Angeles with her husband and children.

 

 

 

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

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The Weddings

Read: February 2023

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The Weddings: Inheritance Collection

by Alexander Chee

Today I read The Weddings by Alexander Chee. It is the fifth and last book in Inheritance, a collection of five stories about secrets, unspoken desires, and dangerous revelations between loved ones. For Jack Cho, a fortysomething gay man, being able to marry someone he loves is so unfamiliar it’s terrifying. Then a wedding invitation from a college friend brings about a collision with those fears—and his secret history.

I have always enjoyed weddings. I attended the last one when my younger son married in July 2021. Not sure if I will ever participate in another wedding.

I have attended many diverse weddings but never one with as many secret histories. To avoid revealing the secrets, I will state that The Weddings is well written, each moment is precise, and the mysteries are neither shocking nor disruptive to the story.

I highly recommend The Weddings.

Each Inheritance piece can be read or listened to in a single setting. By yourself, behind closed doors, or shared with someone you trust. The Weddings is the fifth one in the series I have read.

The previous four were:

I have enjoyed all five books.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Jack and his new boyfriend, Caleb, are attending the wedding of Jack’s estranged straight friend Scott. No sooner do the guests start to mingle than questions arise about relationships, tradition, Jack’s feelings for the groom, and what’s at stake as he navigates daunting territory, both new and old. In this wry and surprising short story, award-winning author Alexander Chee extends an invitation to the party—and awakening—of a lifetime.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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