Resilience Despite Exhaustion

Resilience Despite Exhaustion!

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 9 seconds

Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!I have always believed that I am a very resilient person. Jan’s love improved my resilience.

Even on the darkest days, I could pick myself up, dust off the dirt, and keep going.

Having survived the summer heat waves, I was sure I would be able to weather any storms.

For some reason, I have found myself more exhausted than ever, and my capacity to manage my grief and live life thoroughly is in doubt.

Reading David Brooks in the NY Times this morning, I was reminded of the late Frederick Buechner‘s quote on faith.

Faith is homesickness. Faith is a lump in the throat. Faith is less a position on than a movement toward.

Perhaps instead of exhaustion, I miss Jan as if I were a homesick first-year college student. The lump in my throat keeps me from focusing on the prize.

One day at a time, I bounce back from life’s unfair roadblocks and continue my grief journey of love and faith.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Dust Myself Off and Start Over

Jan and I believed in the message in the lyrics by Nat King Cole,

Pick yourself up... Take a deep breath... Dust yourself off And start all over again.

I am reminded of those words as I approach the final hours of my move to a smaller apartment.

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Resilience Despite Exhaustion

Nat King Cole Pick Yourself Up

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 9 seconds

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Resilience Despite Exhaustion
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Resilience Despite Exhaustion
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The Worst Hard Time

Read: September 2019

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The Worst Hard Time

by Timothy Egan

The Worst Hard Time: The Untold Story of Those Who Survived the Great American Dust Bowl by Timothy Egan was initially a book I selected from the e-library because nothing else I wanted to read was available. Once I started reading the book, I could not put it down.

Now that we have had the warmest summer since 1936 during the dust bowl, the book has even more meaning.

According to The New York Times,

The dust storms that terrorized the High Plains in the darkest years of the Depression were like nothing ever seen before or since. Timothy Egan’s critically acclaimed account rescues this iconic chapter of American history from the shadows in a tour de force of historical reportage. Following a dozen families and their communities through the rise and fall of the region, Egan tells of their desperate attempts to carry on through blinding black dust blizzards, crop failure, and the death of loved ones. Brilliantly capturing the terrifying drama of catastrophe, Egan does equal justice to the human characters who become his heroes, “the stoic, long-suffering men and women whose lives he opens up with urgency and respect.”

With the likelihood of more ecological catastrophes in the immediate future, this is a book I highly recommend.

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Endling

Read: August 2025

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Endling: A Novel

by Maria Reva

Endling” by Maria Reva, a novel of exceptional literary merit, has been longlisted for the 2024 Booker Prize. Set in Ukraine, the story follows an eccentric scientist who breeds rare snails and two sisters pretending to be part of the marriage industry in their quest to find their activist mother. As Russia invades, they embark on a wild journey that involves kidnapped bachelors and the last of its kind snail. This darkly comic novel delves into themes of survival, love, and hope in times of increasing darkness.

In Ukraine in 2022, Yeva is a loner and a daring scientist who lives outside her mob country. She traverses the country’s forests and valleys, attempting to breed rare snails, though her efforts often fail. Meanwhile, her relatives pressured her not to settle down and start a family. What they don’t realize is that Yeva is already dating multiple men—not for love, but to fund her work—entertaining Westerners who come to Ukraine on guided romance tours believing they’ll find docile brides untainted by feminism and modernity.

Nastia and her sister, Solomiya, are also caught up in the booming marriage industry. They pose as a hopeful bride and her translator while secretly searching for their missing mother, who disappeared after years of fierce activism against the romance tours.

Together, they embark on a journey across hundreds of miles, joined by three angry women, a truckload of kidnapped bachelors, and Lefty, a rare snail with one last chance to perpetuate his species. However, their plans come to a sudden halt when Russia invades.

In a strikingly ambitious and profoundly moving metafictive narrative, Endling masterfully balances horror and family, drawing on Reva’s own experiences as a Ukrainian expat navigating her family’s struggle for survival during wartime. As fiction and reality converge on the page, Reva explores the harsh truths of war: What stories must we tell ourselves to survive? How do we maintain our routines amid military occupation? And for those watching from abroad: Can our sense of normalcy and security ever be restored, or have they always been a fragile illusion?

Endling is a tour de force from an author who weaves a story of love, loss, humor, and devastation that only she can tell.


Maria Reva was born in Ukraine and raised in Canada. She holds an MFA from the Michener Center at the University of Texas. Her fiction has been published in The Atlantic, McSweeney’s, and Best American Short Stories, among others, and has won a National Magazine Award. Additionally, she works as an opera librettist.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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Worry: A Novel

Read: May 2024

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Worry: A Novel

by Alexandra Tanner

Today, I began reading Alexandra Tanner‘s debut novel, Worry: A Novel. The New Yorker praised it as “dryly witty,” The New York Times Book Review called it “fabulously revealing.” The story follows two siblings-turned-roommates who try to navigate an absurd world on the verge of calamity. It explores existentialism and sisterhood in a Seinfeldian style.

In March 2019, Jules Gold, a 28-year-old woman, felt anxious, frustrated with her art, and addicted to the internet. She lives alone in the apartment she used to share with her ex-fiancé. Her younger sister Poppy unexpectedly comes to stay with her indefinitely. Poppy, who attempted suicide a year and a half ago, is looking for work and purpose in Brooklyn. Meanwhile, Jules spends her days scrolling through the feeds of Mormon mommy bloggers and waiting for something to happen in her life.

Poppy’s hives, which she has had since childhood, flare up again. Jules has health problems with her uterus. Poppy adopts a poorly behaved-rescue dog named Amy Klobuchar. Poppy’s mother, who recently became a devout Messianic Jew, starts believing in the same deep-state conspiracy theories as Jules’ online mommies. Jules half-heartedly tries to find the source of her ennui and cruelly blames Poppy for not being a good enough friend, writer, or sister. As the year progresses and a new decade approaches, a disastrous trip back to Florida forces Jules and Poppy to question their futures and whether they want to spend them together or apart.

Worry is a darkly funny and deadpan portrayal of two sisters struggling through anxiety and uncertainty in America. A bold new voice in contemporary fiction writes it.

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Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time

Read: September 2021

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Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time

by Rachel Blythe Kodanaz

Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time by Rachel Blythe Kodanaz is a book I wish I had long before Jan died. It provides helpful information on maintaining an organized lifestyle and handling a loved one’s possessions.

Having lost almost everything I had except for the clothes on my back after a house fire in 1972, I thought I had adopted a view that possessions were not significant. With Jan’s death, the truth is that she and I had collected essential possessions, and now it was my responsibility to decide what to do with them.

Rachel’s book is a practical guide, offering a comprehensive understanding of the significance of possessions and a step-by-step plan to manage them. Chapter 3, in particular, is a treasure trove of practical advice, focusing on Building Your Game Plan: The Ten Essentials and covering all the crucial topics – triggers, building a team, and creating a timeline, among others.

Magic of the Six Piles is a well-designed plan that will help most of us confront the possessions of our loved ones. The piles are:

  1. Keep
  2. Share
  3. Donate
  4. Sell
  5. Dispose
  6. Ponder

Having absorbed the book’s wisdom, I am ready to transition from contemplation to action. This is how I sort my wife’s possessions into six piles. I am optimistic that it will also help me streamline my possessions, making books my trusted company more accessible for my sons.

Ms. Kodanaz has presented at my bereavement groups and has been an inspiration. She has also encouraged me to write about my love for Jan in a journal.

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Exit Lane

Read: February 2026

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Exit Lane: A Novella

by Erika Veurink

Erika Veurink‘s debut novel, Exit Lane, is a deeply personal and engaging romance filled with humor, passion, and intense longing. It’s an ideal read for fans of “You Again,” “One Day,” and “People We Meet on Vacation.” After a road trip from Iowa City to New York City following their graduation, Teddy and Marin are ready to put their past behind them.

However, their lives continue to intersect over the next eight tumultuous years, marked by chance encounters and trips across the Atlantic. Ultimately, their journey leads them back to where it all began.


Erika Veurink is a writer, founder of EV Salon, and brand consultant who lives in Brooklyn by way of Iowa. She has an MFA from Bennington College and is a contributor to Vogue, New York Magazine, WSJ, and GQ. She writes the fashion newsletter, Long LiveExit Lane is her debut novella.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Letter Carrier

Read: July 2025

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The Letter Carrier: A Novel

by Francesca Giannone

In the bestselling novel that has captivated readers in Italy, The Letter Carrier by Francesca Giannone depicts a small town in southern Italy that reflects the experiences of many others. It portrays the lives of women and men—husbands and wives, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters—as they strive to navigate the world while remaining true to their hearts. The Letter Carrier explores the universal theme of connection and examines the consequences that arise when those connections occur at the wrong time.

Salento, Italy, June 1934: A coach stops in the main square of Lizzanello, a tight-knit village where everyone knows each other. A couple gets off: The man, Carlo, a Southerner, is happy to be back home after a long time away; the woman, Anna—his wife—is a Northerner. Carlo’s brother is there to meet them, and he, along with everyone else, can’t help but notice that Anna is as beautiful as a Greek statue.

But Anna is not like the other wives. She doesn’t gossip or attend church. She reads books no one else has ever heard of, exploring ideas that some find threatening. She even wears pants, just like a man, and thinks a woman should have rights, just like a man.

There aren’t many options for a woman with Anna’s sensibilities, so when she learns that the post office is hiring, she leaps at the opportunity. A female letter carrier? It is unthinkable! But Anna passes the postal exam and soon becomes the invisible thread connecting the town as she delivers letters between clandestine lovers, families waiting to hear news of loved ones away at war, and even helps those who can’t read.

Letters connect people, conveying both information and emotion. But for some in Lizzanello, letters are too little and too late.


Francesca Giannone holds a degree in communication science and studied at the CSC, the oldest film school in Europe, located in Rome. She has published several short stories in literary magazines, both in print and online. Currently, Giannone resides in Milan, but her heart remains in her hometown of Lizzanello, a seaside town in the Salento region of Italy. She hopes to return there to live one day.


Elettra Pauletto translated The Letter Carrier. After earning her MFA from Columbia University, she has split her time between writing about her experiences in Africa—specifically in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Rwanda, and Senegal—and translating fiction and nonfiction works from Italian and French into English. In both her writing and translations, she heavily relies on her background as a former political risk analyst who covered Sub-Saharan Africa, the Middle East, and Europe.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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