Lovers forever

Two Years Later, Jan is Still With Me!

Love Transcends Physical Boundaries

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 47 seconds
Jan Lilien and Richard W. Brown, Wedding Day, August 9, 1975

Jan Lilien and Richard W. Brown, Wedding Day, August 9, 1975

This morning was different from my usual wake-up routine. It’s hard to explain, but everything felt a bit off.

A notification on my iPhone caught my eye as I prepared for my morning walk. Today is May 3, which means it’s Wes’s ten-month birthday. I always remember this day, but this year is especially tough because it’s been two years since Jan died.

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been two years since she died. I miss her so much, and sometimes the pain will never disappear. But she would want me to keep moving forward and remember the good times we shared. So today, I’ll celebrate Wes’s birthday and remember all of the happy memories Jan and I created together.

When I lost Jan two years ago, my world fell apart, and I wasn’t sure how I could go on without her. However, with the help of my family, faith, friends, and fellow widows, I managed to cope and learned to share her passion when all that was left of her was love. My grief has slowly become a thing of the past.

On days like this, I’m reminded of a quote by Viktor E. Frankl, “Love is the ultimate goal in life,” and I know that Jan and I achieved that goal. Our love transformed us into better versions of ourselves, and I’m genuinely grateful for that. Even though Jan is no longer here with me, her love continues to surround me. Instead of grieving, I choose to celebrate her life.

During my walk, I focused on the beautiful memories of falling in love with Jan rather than the pain of losing her. I thought about when she told me she loved me for the first time, and I knew I had found true love. Although Wes will never meet Jan, I plan to share her passion with him so he, too, can experience the joy of true love.

Next week, I’ll be honoring and remembering Jan and other loved ones who have passed away, along with the members of my congregation at Temple Sha’arey Shalom on her second Yahrzeit. This commemoration will inspire me to do good deeds for her soul’s merit, which ascends higher in heaven on that date.

It can be challenging to grapple with two opposing truths. Jan is still with me in spirit, yet she’s not physically here. However, our love transcends physical boundaries; I’ll always hold that close to my heart.

Jan taught me that the only way to live is to help each other and work together to repair the world. The last two years have only reinforced that truth. On this second anniversary, I vow to be there for anyone going through a similar experience. Let’s support one another and share our loved ones’ legacies.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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When Richard Met Jan!

We embraced each other tightly, and our lips met in a deep and passionate kiss. It was even more intense than the sweet and lovely kisses we had already shared. I felt like I was flying, and if I hadn't worn my boots, I was sure this kiss would have knocked my socks off. This was the moment that sealed our love forever. I had always dreamed of finding true love, and now I had finally found it. Love is a beautiful thing that lasts forever and never dies.

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Lovers forever

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Love Transcends Physical Boundaries

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 47 seconds

I’ve received several inquiries about the picture showcased in this post. It’s a stunning snapshot taken in Central Park back in 1974 that manages to capture the essence of love and affection perfectly. The radiant smile on Jan’s face in the black-and-white photo is genuinely captivating, and the photographer’s impressive skill has managed to freeze such a unique and romantic moment in time.

It’s truly remarkable how a single photograph can hold so much inspiration and influence. Gazing at this picture takes me back in time, stirring up a sense of nostalgia and rekindling all those emotions that Jan and I experienced. It’s a powerful reminder that true, lasting love is something that we should all aspire to achieve.

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What's Mine and Yours

Read: February 2022

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What’s Mine and Yours

by Naima Coster

What’s Mine and Yours by Naima Coster is one of the best books I have read in the last few years. At this moment in my life, family means more than ever. This book explores how families can collapse and find ways to reunite. Although my life circumstances are the polar opposite of the protagonists, the book’s central themes resonated with me.

The focus on integration in this Millenium is a subject that needs to be discussed openly and honestly. The racist response of some of the parents is told in a way that clarifies the pain that that can cause.

Even the parents who favor integration have their flaws, which are passed on to their children.

The children, especially Noelle and Gee, oppose their parent’s actions. The sins of their parents are sowed upon them as well.

I have placed this book on my list of novels for reading later this year or n 2023. Its themes are so strong that a second reading is required to engage with its multiple levels fully.

This is a Goodreads summary.

A community in the Piedmont of North Carolina rises in outrage as a county initiative draws students from the primarily Black east side of town into predominantly white high schools on the west. For two students, Gee and Noelle, the integration sets off a chain of events that will tie their two families together in unexpected ways over the next twenty years.

The debate is Jade, Gee’s steely, ambitious mother, on one side of the integration. In the aftermath of a severe loss, she is determined to give her son the tools he’ll need to survive in America as a sensitive, anxious, young Black man. On the other side is Noelle’s headstrong mother, Lacey May, a white woman who refuses to see her half-Latina daughters as anything but white. She strives to protect them as she couldn’t protect herself from the influence of their charming but unreliable father, Robbie.

When Gee and Noelle join the school play meant to bridge the divide between new and old students, their paths collide, and their two seemingly disconnected families begin to form deeply knotted, messy ties that will shape the trajectory of their adult lives. And their mothers-each determined to see her child inherit a better life-will make choices that will haunt them for decades to come.

As love is built and lost, and the past never too far behind, What’s Mine and Yours is an expansive, vibrant tapestry that moves between the years, from the foothills of North Carolina to Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Paris. It explores every family’s unique organism: what breaks them apart and how they come back together.

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Autobiography of Cotton

Read: February 2026

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Autobiography of Cotton

by Cristina Rivera Garza

In 1934, a young José Revueltas traveled to Tamaulipas to support the cotton workers’ strike in Estación Camarón, which would later serve as the foundation for his landmark novel, Human Mourning. In her groundbreaking novel Autobiography of Cotton, Cristina Rivera Garza recounts her grandparents’ journey from mining towns to those same cotton fields. Her narrative intersects with Revueltas’s life and offers a vivid and evocative account of the history of cotton cultivation along the Mexico-U.S. border.

Through archival research and personal narrative, Rivera Garza explores how cotton transformed the borderlands by recounting the story of the cotton workers’ strike. She reveals how cycles of deprivation and environmental destruction continue to affect generations. Rivera Garza skillfully creates a new kind of border novel that illustrates how a fragile landscape drastically changed her grandparents’ lives and the territories they helped to develop. In this intimate fictionalization, Autobiography of Cotton offers a rich social history that encompasses agricultural colonization, labor activism, environmental degradation, and cross-border migration.

I recommend “Autobiography of Cotton,” but readers should be patient as the book shifts back and forth in time. Everything becomes clear as you continue reading.


Cristina Rivera Garza is the Pulitzer Prize–winning author of Liliana’s Invincible Summer. A MacArthur Fellow, she is the Hugh Roy and Lillie Cranz Cullen Distinguished Chair and founder of the University of Houston’s PhD in Creative Writing in Spanish.

Christina MacSweeney is the award-winning literary translator of works by Julián Herbert, Valeria Luiselli, and Elvira Navarro. She received the 2024 Sundial Literary Translation Award for her translation of Verónica Gerber Bicecci‘s The Company.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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All Fours: A Novel

Read: May 2024

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All Fours: A Novel

by Miranda July

Today, I started reading All Fours: A Novel by Miranda July. A semi-famous artist announces her plan to drive cross-country from LA to NY. Thirty minutes after leaving her husband and child at home, she spontaneously exits the freeway, checks into a nondescript motel, and immerses herself in an entirely different journey.

Miranda July’s second novel, a testament to her unique approach to fiction, confirms the brilliance of her storytelling. With July’s wry voice, perfect comic timing, unabashed curiosity about human intimacy, and palpable delight in pushing boundaries, All Fours tells the story of one woman’s quest for a new kind of freedom. Part absurd entertainment, part tender reinvention of the sexual, romantic, and domestic life of a forty-five-year-old female artist, All Fours transcends expectation while excavating our beliefs about life as a woman. Once again, July hijacks the familiar and turns it into something new and thrillingly, profoundly alive.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Other People's Fun

Read: November 2025

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Other People’s Fun

by Harriet Lane

Other People’s Fun” by Harriet Lane is an engaging, thought-provoking novel that explores modern life, including the small lies we tell our neighbors, friends, families, and even ourselves, as well as the distorted reality of social media. Known for her signature blend of creeping unease and keen observation, Lane’s page-turner delves into our deep desire for others to truly see us as we are—and the consequences that arise when that happens.

“I look. I can’t stop looking. That’s the deal, isn’t it? We all know that’s how it works. If someone wants to be seen–and oh, how they want to be seen–then someone has to watch.”

Ruth is alone, unnoticed, and at a loss: her marriage has ended, her daughter is leaving home, and her job is leading nowhere.

But luckily, Sookie is back in her life, the vivid, self-assured Sookie who never spared time for Ruth when they were teenagers, but who now seems to want to be friends. But as Ruth becomes entangled in Sookie’s life, she realizes that everything is not as Instagrammable as Sookie would have her believe. As the truth about Sookie becomes clearer, so too does the choice Ruth will have to make.


Harriet Lane has experience as an editor and staff writer for Tatler and the Observer. She has contributed articles to The Guardian, Vogue, and The New York Times. Additionally, she is the author of two novels, Alys, Always, and Her. Lane resides in North London.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Swimmers: A Novel

Read: October 2022

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The Swimmers: A Novel

by Julie Otsuka

The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka is a novel about what happens to a group of obsessed recreational swimmers when a crack appears at the bottom of their local pool. This searing, intimate story of mothers and daughters—and the sorrows of implacable loss—is the most commanding and unforgettable work yet from a modern master. I highly recommend The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka.

The novel was a page-turner from the first to the last page. It had been on my to-read list for months, and I am happy to start reading The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka

Memory loss is a frightening situation for anyone. Ms. Otuska writes powerfully and eloquently about Alice’s loss of her memory. I felt as if it was one of my loved ones.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

The swimmers are unknown to one another except through their private routines (slow lane, medium lane, fast lane) and the solace each takes in their morning or afternoon laps. But when a crack appears at the bottom of the pool, they are cast out into an unforgiving world without comfort or relief.

One of these swimmers is Alice, who is slowly losing her memory. The pool was a final stand against the darkness of her encroaching dementia for Alice. Without the fellowship of other swimmers and the routine of her daily laps, she is plunged into dislocation and chaos, swept into memories of her childhood and the Japanese American incarceration camp where she spent the war. Alice’s estranged daughter, reentering her mother’s life too late, witnesses her stark and devastating decline.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’sJan’s Love blog.

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The Midnight Bargain

Read: February 2022

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The Midnight Bargain

by C.L. Polk

The Midnight Bargain by C.L. Polk is about Beatrice Clayborn, a sorceress, who was the next book to read. She practices magic in secret, terrified of being locked into a marital collar that will cut off her powers to protect her unborn children. She dreams of becoming a full-fledged Magus and pursuing magic as her calling as men do. Still, her family has staked everything to equip her for Bargaining Season, when young men and women of means descend upon the city to negotiate the best marriages. The Clayborn’s are in severe debt, and only she can save them by securing a good match before their creditors call.

In a stroke of luck, Beatrice finds a grimoire that contains the key to becoming a Magus, but before she can purchase it, a rival sorceress swindles the book right out of her hands. Beatrice summons a spirit to help her get it back, but her new ally exacts a price: Beatrice’s first kiss . . . with her adversary’s brother, the handsome, compassionate, and fabulously wealthy Ianthe Lavan.

The more Beatrice is entangled with the Lavan siblings, the harder her decision becomes: If she casts the spell to become a Magus, she will devastate her family and lose the only man to ever see her for who she is, but if she marries—even for love—she will sacrifice her magic, her identity, and her dreams. But how can she choose just one, knowing she will forever regret the path not taken?

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