Reading for a Better Life

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 45 seconds

Seventy-Eights Books in 2023 Challenged Me to Live Fully

Ever since the passing of my beloved wife, I have found solace in the pages of good books. As a child and young adult, I was an avid reader, but as I grew older, I found myself reading mainly newspapers, magazines, work-related materials, or other non-book formats. However, since my wife’s passing, I have developed a newfound appreciation for fiction and have been lost in the world of novels. Some of my friends have questioned why I read books that deal with topics like death or loneliness. But, for me, the answer is simple: I read to explore life’s complexities, which include the experience of loss, grief, and the struggle to survive against all odds. Through the pages of these books, I find comfort, understanding, and a deeper connection to the world around me.

Last year, I enjoyed immersing myself in seventy-eight captivating books, surpassing my reading record of the previous year by four. While perusing the 24,475 pages of the novels, I stumbled upon specific phrases that stood out like beacons, beckoning me to bask in their brilliance. These phrases were crafted to make them feel like a new language, yet as I continued reading, their meaning became clear and resonated with me deeply. One of the most poignant phrases I encountered was in Lauren Groff‘s novel, “The Vaster Wilds,” where she wrote, “To be alone and surviving is not the same as being alive.” This passage made me pause and reread it multiple times, as it eloquently captured the essence of my life. Though I live alone and manage to survive, I realize that being alive is more than just existing; it is about truly embracing life and all its complexities.

“To be alone and surviving is not the same as being alive.”

Lauren Groff‘s novel, “The Vaster Wilds
I Am Homeless If This Is Not My Home

In our modern age, many of us find ourselves alone, struggling with the challenges of everyday life that seem to consume all of our time. This is true not just for those who have lost a loved one but also for everyone who seeks to find meaning, purpose, and love in their life. In her thought-provoking piece “I Am Homeless If This Is Not My Home,” Lorrie Moore raises a fundamental question that many of us can relate to. She ponders about the transformative power of love and how it shapes our destiny, even amid less-than-ideal circumstances. Moore reminds us that love is not something we should wait for. It is a feeling and a condition that can be experienced anywhere, whether in a hospital, a prison, or even during a war.

“Love is a feeling and condition that seldom waits for perfect circumstances. One can love in a hospital or a prison or in a war.”

I Am Homeless If This Is Not My Home by Lorrie Moore

Throughout my current reading journey, I have come across two hundred and seventeen books that have made me ponder how to cope with grief and lead a fulfilling life in an increasingly isolated and lonely world. Each book I have read has its unique perspective and message, and depending on what you are looking for, every book is worth recommending.

While not everyone is willing to confront their inner self, we can always find solace in a good baseball metaphor that guides our life’s journey. In this regard, Ms. Moore‘s book offers a comprehensive overview for those who yearn to resume summer games, providing a refreshing perspective to help us deal with life’s challenges.

Yeah, baseball is really the game that tells you what life is going to be: fastballs, errors, wild pitching, clutch hits, strike-outs, not getting to first base, things coming in from left field. Near misses. And that’s just the romance part.”

I Am Homeless If This Is Not My Home by Lorrie Moore

What kind of books are you currently reading? Would you happen to be looking for any recommendations for novels? I always enjoy assisting people in finding their next great read. Reading has been a valuable tool for self-discovery and personal growth. Through books, I’ve gained a deeper understanding of myself and have been able to navigate my grief while also learning how to live more fully and be a better version of myself.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.


Contact Us
Subscribe

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.


9 comments add your comment

  1. Hello Richard, I enjoy reading but only a few. I agree with all your comments. Reading about the things that can improve your life through different perspectives makes you realize how complicated life is. Remember, everybody is lonely in a different way.

    • Hugo, I appreciate your thoughts on my reading. During most of my adult life, I didn’t read many novels. Work and nonfiction reading demands made it difficult to prioritize leisure reading. But after the funeral, I woke up the next day feeling the fear of loneliness and isolation. Walking helped me cope at first, but I soon turned to books. Reading helped me fill the void by allowing me to step into alternate lives and find a different perspective on life. I learned that grief and loss are part of everyone’s lives, and reading helped me grow around my grief and loneliness.

      I also learned that everyone experiences loneliness differently. It’s easy to feel like we’re alone in our struggles, but the truth is that we all face tough times in our way.

Share your thoughts and ideas

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous Post:

Next Post:

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Commitment: A novel

Read: April 2023

Get this book

Commitment: A Novel

by Mona Simpson

The novel Commitment by Mona Simpson delves into the complexities of family and duty when a parent falls ill. It sheds light on the significant impact of untreated mental health crises and highlights the under-appreciated role of friends in shaping the lives of children left to their own devices.

A hardworking single mother, Diane Aziz falls into a deep depression after dropping off her oldest son, Walter, at college. Despite her struggles, her closest friend is vital in keeping the family together and their mother’s dreams alive.

This is a story of one family’s struggle to navigate the crisis of their lives, a struggle that may resonate with many readers. Walter discovers a newfound passion for architecture, but financial struggles threaten his academic pursuits. Meanwhile, Lina fights to attend an Ivy League school, and Donny, the youngest sibling, battles a dangerous drug addiction.

As someone with different personal experiences, I still found Commitment to affirm the importance of biological and chosen families.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



×
Hurricane Season

Read: September 2024

Get this book

Hurricane Season

by Fernanda Melchor

Hurricane Season‘ by Fernanda Melchor, translated by Sophie Hughes, is a literary gem acknowledged by the New York Times as one of the 100 Best Books of the 21st Century. The story opens with the discovery of a dead witch in a village, leading to an investigation into her murder. As the novel unfolds, it offers a unique perspective on the lives of the villagers, each narrating the story from their point of view.

This unique portrayal of the characters, each with flaws and virtues, uncovers new details and acts of depravity. Despite the characters being seen as irredeemable, Melchor extracts some shred of humanity from them, creating a lasting portrait of a doomed Mexican village. This deep connection to Mexican culture is a significant aspect of the novel that will surely resonate with readers interested in this topic.

Hurricane Season” draws significant literary inspiration from Roberto Bolaño‘s “2666” and Faulkner‘s novels. Like these works, it is set in a world filled with mythology and actual violence that seeps into the surroundings, creating a connection that makes it more terrifying the deeper you explore it.

×
The Day Tripper: A Novel

Read: April 2024

Get this book

The Day Tripper: A Novel

by James Goodhand

Today, I began reading “The Day Tripper: A Novel” by James Goodhand. The story centers around Alex Dean, who can travel through time but, unfortunately, always ends up in the wrong place at the wrong time. This book is a perfect read for a rainy April day. The story moves quickly in just the first few pages, with time flying by faster than it does for Alex.

It’s 1995, and Alex Dean has it all: a spot at Cambridge University next year, the love of a fantastic woman named Holly, and all the time ahead of him. That is, until a brutal encounter with a ghost from his past sees him beaten, battered, and almost drowning in the Thames.

The next day, he wakes to find himself in a messy, derelict room he’s never seen before, in grimy clothes Alex doesn’t recognize, with no idea how he got there. A glimpse in the mirror tells him he’s much older and has been living a hard life, his features ravaged by time and poor decisions. He snatches a newspaper and finds it’s 2010—fifteen years since the fight.

After finally drifting off to sleep, Alex wakes the following morning to find it’s now 2019, another nine years later. But the next day, it’s 1999. Never knowing which day is coming, he begins to piece together what happens in his life after that fateful night by the river.

But what exactly is going on? Why does his life look nothing like he thought it would? What about Cambridge and Holly? In this page-turning adventure, Alex must navigate the years to learn that small actions have an untold impact. And that might be all he needs to save the people he loves and, equally importantly, himself.

×
Checkout 19: A Novel

Read: December 2022

Get this book

Checkout 19: A Novel

by Claire-Louise Bennett

Checkout 19: A Novel by Claire-Louise Bennett, a New York Times Best Ten Best Books of 2022; the newspaper highlights the novel’s “unusual setting: the human mind — a brilliant, surprising, weird and very funny one. All the words one might use to describe this book — experimental, autofictional, surrealist — fail to convey the sheer pleasure of ‘Checkout 19.'” I fully agree with this description and found myself living in my mind.

Since Jan died in May of 2021, I have found myself with no one to talk to about the day-to-day events that consume so much of our lives. Checkout 19: A Novel reminded me that I have only been carrying those intimate conversations in my mind. Is it surreal? Yes. Yes, it is. Reading this novel helped me to accept the importance of those conversations. The new characters and scenarios I conjure are less creative than Ms. Claire-Louise Bennett’s

Goodreads describes Checkout 19: A Novel as the adventures of a young woman discovering her genius through the people she meets–and dreams up–along the way. Checkout 19 is a radical affirmation of the power of the imagination, and the magic escapes those who master it open to us all.

I recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In a working-class town in a county west of London, a schoolgirl scribbles stories in the back pages of her exercise book, intoxicated by the first sparks of her imagination. As she grows, everything and everyone she encounters become fuel for a burning talent. The large Russian man in the ancient maroon car who careens around the grocery store where she works as a checkout clerk, and slips her a copy of Beyond Good and Evil. The growing heaps of other books in which she loses-and finds-herself. Even the derailing of a friendship, in a devastating violation. The thrill of learning to conjure characters and scenarios in her head is matched by the exhilaration of forging her own way in the world, the two kinds of ingenuity kindling to a brilliant conflagration.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



×
Discontent

Read: October 2025

Get this book

Discontent: A Novel

by Beatriz Serrano

Discontent” by Beatriz Serrano is a bold and darkly humorous novel that follows a young woman whose carefully constructed office persona starts to unravel when she is compelled to attend her company’s annual retreat. On the surface, Marisa’s life appears enviable. She lives in a beautiful apartment in the heart of Madrid, has a charming neighbor who often spends time with her, and has quickly ascended the ranks at a successful advertising agency.

And yet she’s drowning in a dark hole of existential dread induced by the banality of corporate life. Marisa hates her job and everyone at it. She spends her working hours locked in her office, hiding from her coworkers, bingeing on YouTube videos, and getting high on tranquilizers. When she has the time, she escapes to her favorite museum where she contemplates the meaning of life while staring at Hieronymus Bosch paintings, or tries to get hit by a car so she can go on disability.

However, Marisa’s dubious success, which is primarily built on lies and work she has stolen from others, is in danger of being exposed when she’s forced to attend her company’s team-building retreat. Isolated in the Segovia forests, haunted by the deeply buried memory of a former coworker, and surrounded by psychopathic bosses, overzealous coworkers, flirty retreat staff, and an excess of drugs, Marisa finds herself acting on her wildest impulses. She is pushed to the brink of a complete spiral.


Beatriz Serrano is a striking new voice in international literature. A writer and journalist who has written for publications such as BuzzFeed, Vanity Fair, GQ, Harper’s Bazaar, El País, SModa, and Vogue. Along with writer Guillermo Alonso, she currently co-directs the podcast “Arsenic Caviar“, which won the Ondas Prize for best conversational podcast. Discontent is her first novel. She lives in Madrid.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


×
Intermezzo: A Novel

Read: February 2025

Get this book

Intermezzo: A Novel

by Sally Rooney

Today, I dove into Sally Rooney‘s latest novel, “Intermezzo: A Novel,” which instantly captivated me. It’s a profoundly moving exploration of grief, love, and the intricacies of family life, with love at its heart. Reflecting on my journey through grief, I remember how Ms. Rooney‘s earlier work, “Beautiful World, Where Are You,” resonated with me during my second year of processing loss.

It beautifully highlighted love’s enduring nature and reminded me that, even in the depths of sorrow, love’s essence never truly fades. Intermezzo focuses on the fact that, aside from being brothers, Peter and Ivan Koubek seem to have little in common.

Peter is a Dublin lawyer in his thirties—successful, competent, and unassailable. But in the wake of their father’s death, he’s medicating himself to sleep and struggling to manage his relationships with two very different women—his enduring first love, Sylvia, and Naomi, a college student for whom life is one long joke.

Ivan is a twenty-two-year-old competitive chess player. He has always seen himself as socially awkward, a loner, the antithesis of his glib elder brother. Now, in the early weeks of his bereavement, Ivan meets Margaret, an older woman emerging from her turbulent past, and their lives become rapidly and intensely intertwined.

In this poignant interlude, we delve into the lives of two brothers grappling with their profound grief, accompanied by those who care for them. It’s a raw journey woven with threads of longing, heartbreak, and the flickering light of hope. Together, they navigate the uncharted territory of loss, uncovering how much the human spirit can withstand before it shatters.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


×

Discover more from Sharing Jan’s Love

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading