My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.
The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka is a novel about what happens to a group of obsessed recreational swimmers when a crack appears at the bottom of their local pool. This searing, intimate story of mothers and daughters—and the sorrows of implacable loss—is the most commanding and unforgettable work yet from a modern master. I highly recommend The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka.
On Tuesday, September 20th, Hanson Park Conservancy‘s Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsored an event on Growing Great Garlic.
Your tax-deductible donations support these programs! Plans are already being made for events next year.
Garlic is a star ingredient in just about every culture’s cuisine.
The workshop asked an important question, why not grow great garlic?
Lesley Parness presented information on how to grow your garlic, the various kinds, and which ones are best for your cooking style.
She covered:
A list of garlic vendors was provided, along with information on excellent cultivars to grow.
All participants received a set of 8 cloves (2 cloves each of 4 delicious cultivars).
Lesley Parness, the presenter, retired in 2017 as Superintendent of Horticultural Education at New Jersey’s Morris County Park Commission. She oversaw programming at The Frelinghuysen Arboretum, Willowwood Arboretum, and Bamboo Brook Outdoor Education Center.
Ms. Parness is a member of the Herb Society of America, The Council on Horticultural and Botanical Libraries, and Garden State Gardens.
Lesley’sLesley’s news column, The Garden Historian, is featured bi-monthly in Gardener News Magazine.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s blog.
Jan’s Education Fund Sponsors Soil Health and Composting Event
One breath, one step, one day, was all I could manage in the initial weeks after Jan died.
Slowly I have made progress and am optimistic that the new year will be sweet and one of change and growth.
I will never cease to love Jan and be loved by her.
As S.C. Lourie wrote,
Look at your life for all you have gained rather than lost.
Look at your path for everything you have got through rather than
everywhere you think you should be.Celebrate rather than criticize.
Experience rather than expect.
See how that goes, just for today.
Every day, I promise to remember what I gained from loving Jan, not the misery of the loss.
It seems easy to scribble those words on parchment, but focusing on love instead of loss is not effortless.
Just for today, I will keep it simple and love Jan with all my heart and soul.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
Thanks to my friend Deb, I have made a giant step in making Apartment 3B my home!
I have all of the plants re-potted and back in my tiny dwelling!
Deb, a master gardener and a member of the Hanson Park Conservancy and the Green Thumb Garden Club, helped me select the plants, and she re-potted them.
Deb also recommended self-watering pots, making it easier for me to manage the plants and avoid drowning them.
Deb recommended a Swiss Cheese plant in front of the kitchen sink, which I will purchase shortly. I have a grow light that can assist the flower in flourishing.
I will be forever grateful to Deb for her patience, guidance, support, and friendship.
My goal since moving into Apartment 3B on July 31st was to make it homelike before the new year. Although I have more to do, I believe I have achieved the objective.
I understand that time travel is impossible, unlike in the Sea of Tranquility.
However, I daydream that Jan might travel thru time and space. Now, with the flowers, she would feel comfortable if she made a stopover in Apartment 3B and would be pleased to visit regularly.
If Jan did visit me, I understand I would not know it was her, so she did not alter the time continuum.
But her spirit will always be with me, and I want 3B to be our home, not mine alone.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
On the second day of Rosh Hashanna, I visited the love of my life at Beth Israel Cemetery.
Jan and I had so many years in which we shared the start of a sweet new year.
Although she is always with me, I took her seasonal flowers and spent time discussing my plans to refocus my life with meaning and purpose in 5783.
Jan’s name is in the Book of Well-Lived Lives.
If I can change my life this year, perhaps I may one day join her as someone who lived well.
When I picked out the flowers, I remembered how Jan told me when I bought her a day-old Rose that no one had ever given her flowers.
Forty-nine years later, I will continue to buy Jan flowers as long as I live.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
Shana Tova! May 5783 not only be a sweet new year but one of change.
Without Jan, my life shattered into a million pieces over the last sixteen months.
I have taken small steps, but those adjustments have been on the margins, not the core of my being.
But the transitions have not assisted me in defining who I am without Jan.
As Ernest Hemingway said,
We are all broken, that’s how the light gets in….
The light has allowed me to see what I need to do to regain my wholeness.
At times, the parameters of what may define me without Jan appear, but the reality is blurred.
Although Jan is still with me in spirit and always will be, I am the one still alive.
A half-century ago, I stood in the smoky, damp remains of 242 Ten Eyck Street, wearing all I had left after the fire.
I rededicated my life to being one with meaning and purpose, and I will work in 5783 to define who I am now.
God, what do you want from me? I am ready, willing, and able to do whatever mitzvot you ask me to complete.
Jan’s name is in the Book of Well-Lived Lives.
If I can change my life this year, perhaps I may one day join her as someone who lived well.
The only constant will be that Jan will be with me as I delineate who I am.
Jan’s life-changing love will never die and will be the guardrail of my year of advancement.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
Based on the demographics of life expectancy, I always believed that Jan would outlive me.
Despite the actuarial evidence, I am the one who is still alive.
I have focused the last year on celebrating Jan's life, preserving her memory, and keeping her name mentioned.
In my efforts to define how I will use these years of living alone, I also,
On the eve of a sweet new year, I walked five kilometers to help Bridges‘ mission of Demanding Change, Ending Homelessness.
I walk for serenity and exercise, but on mornings like today, I walk to help Bridges End Homelessness.
Jan and I were committed to Tikkun Olam to repair and improve the world.
An opportunity to walk with my friends at Bridges in the streets of Summit, NJ, to house the un-housed is a small way to continue to repair the world.
As I prepared for Rosh Hashanah without Jan next to me but with her soul intertwined with mine, it was a joy to take a few strides to assist Bridges in repairing the world.
May we be blessed with a sweet and happy new year, one in which we can End Homelessness.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
Sharing Jan’s Love With the Unhoused
Last night I did a shift in Battery Park with Bridges providing food and warm clothes. It was very windy, cold, and unlivable conditions for our neighbors living on the streets. On Thanksgiving, I volunteered with the Bridges street outreach team in Newark.
by Julie Otsuka
The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka is a novel about what happens to a group of obsessed recreational swimmers when a crack appears at the bottom of their local pool. This searing, intimate story of mothers and daughters—and the sorrows of implacable loss—is the most commanding and unforgettable work yet from a modern master. I highly recommend The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka.
The novel was a page-turner from the first to the last page. It had been on my to-read list for months, and I am happy to start reading The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka.
Memory loss is a frightening situation for anyone. Ms. Otuska writes powerfully and eloquently about Alice’s loss of her memory. I felt as if it was one of my loved ones.
The Goodreads summary provides an overview,
The swimmers are unknown to one another except through their private routines (slow lane, medium lane, fast lane) and the solace each takes in their morning or afternoon laps. But when a crack appears at the bottom of the pool, they are cast out into an unforgiving world without comfort or relief.
One of these swimmers is Alice, who is slowly losing her memory. The pool was a final stand against the darkness of her encroaching dementia for Alice. Without the fellowship of other swimmers and the routine of her daily laps, she is plunged into dislocation and chaos, swept into memories of her childhood and the Japanese American incarceration camp where she spent the war. Alice’s estranged daughter, reentering her mother’s life too late, witnesses her stark and devastating decline.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’sJan’s Love blog.
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by Major Alfred Edward Woodley Mason
At the Villa Rose by Major Alfred Edward Woodley Mason, initially published in 1910, is a mystery novel in which Major Mason introduced his French detective, Inspector Hanaud, who was an early template for Agatha Christie’s famous Hercule Poirot. Missing jewels, high adventure some one hundred and fifty kilometers from Geneva, a casino, and blind love are all factors in a complex case for Hanaud, which ultimately involves a gang of frightened murderers. If you enjoy deductive mysteries like me, I highly recommend At the Villa Rose.
The Goodreads summary,
In Aix les Bains during the early 20th century, Celia Harland, a beautiful (of course) young English girl down on her luck, is befriended by a wealthy widow, Madame Dauvray, an addict of “spiritualism,” and stages seances for her benefactrix, while knowing full well that the supposed manifestations from the spirit world are entirely bogus. This set-up supplies the opportunity for a criminal gang master-minded by Madame Dauvray’s maid, with their eyes on the widow’s jewelry collection, to engineer an introduction for one of their numbers, Adele Tacé (“Rossignol”), whose taunts of disbelief goad the old lady into allowing a seance to be held which, unsuspected by either Celia or her patron, will be the cover for murder and robbery.
The crux of the plot is that as a medium, Celia will be made their innocent victim, on whom suspicion is to be planted.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Tana French
Before I finished the last page of The Keeper by Tana French, I found myself missing Cal, Lena, and Trey, along with the other characters from the Irish village of Ardnakelty. Tana French is a renowned crime writer who has inspired a devoted following among readers and has been described as “incandescent” by Stephen King. She is releasing the third and final book in the million-copy bestselling Cal Hooper trilogy.
On a cold night in the remote Irish village of Ardnakelty, a girl goes missing. Sweet, loving Rachel Holohan was about to be engaged to the son of the local big shot. Instead, she’s dead in the river.
In a close-knit small town, a death like this isn’t simple. It comes wrapped in generations-old grudges and power struggles, splitting the townland in two. Retired Chicago detective Cal Hooper has friends here now, and he owes them loyalty, but his fiancée Lena wants nothing to do with Ardnakelty’s tangles. As the feud becomes more vicious, their settled peace begins to crack. And when they uncover a scheme that casts a new light on Rachel’s death and threatens the whole village, they find themselves in the firing line.
“One of the greatest crime novelists writing today,” according to Vox, crafts a masterwork of atmospheric suspense that brings the story of one of her most beloved characters to a spellbinding conclusion.
Tana French is the New York Times–bestselling author of nine previous books, including In the Woods, The Searcher, and The Hunter. Her novels have sold over eight million copies worldwide and won numerous awards, including the Edgar, Anthony, Macavity, and Barry Awards, the Los Angeles Times Book Prize for Best Mystery/Thriller, and the Irish Book Award for Crime Fiction. She lives in Dublin with her family.
Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Supporting these selections not only helps me continue to provide you with personalized recommendations but also ensures you have access to meaningful stories that enrich your life. Your support truly makes a difference in helping me share more books and insights with you!
by Doris Kearns Goodwin
The Bully Pulpit by Doris Kearns Goodwin is a history of the first decade of the Progressive era told by focusing on the intense friendship of Theodore Roosevelt and William Howard Taft.
Although I had read many books about Theodore Roosevelt, I had limited knowledge about Taft until I read this book. Reading about their friendship and its eventual collapse helped me to understand both of these presidents and the times in which they lived in a way I had not understood previously.
The Bully Pulpit is also the story of the muckraking press, which arouses the spirit of reform that helps Roosevelt push the government to shed its laissez-faire attitude toward robber barons, corrupt politicians, and corporate exploiters of our natural resources. The muckrakers are portrayed through the greatest group of journalists ever assembled at one magazine—Ida Tarbell, Ray Stannard Baker, Lincoln Steffens, and William Allen White—teamed under the mercurial genius of publisher S. S. McClure.
Goodwin’s narrative is founded upon a wealth of primary materials. The correspondence of more than four hundred letters between Roosevelt and Taft begins in their early thirties and ends only months before Roosevelt’s death. Edith Roosevelt and Nellie Taft kept diaries. The muckrakers wrote hundreds of letters to one another, kept journals, and wrote their memoirs. The letters of Captain Archie Butt, who served as a personal aide to both Roosevelt and Taft, provide an intimate view of both men.
I recommend this book without reservations.
by Juhea Kim
Juhea Kim, the acclaimed author of Beasts of a Little Land and City of Night Birds, presents an exquisite collection of stories that explores the delicate balance between humans and the natural world. With the clear-eyed reverence of Richard Powers and the sparkling sincerity of George Saunders, her first story collection, A Love Story from the End of the World, offers a breathtaking view of our fractured world—and our broken hearts. Through its passionate narrative, the collection serves as a poignant reminder that, as humans, we are nothing without nature.
Spanning multiple locales and time periods, and rendered in fine detail and vivid color, this transportive collection illustrates what it means to live as human inhabitants of our singular, miraculous planet.
Lyrical, at times hilarious, and always heartfelt, each of these ten stories reflects individual choices in the face of “man-made” apocalypses. In a near-future Seoul, where air pollution has become so severe that a translucent biodome has covered the city, a civil engineer responsible for its upkeep considers an arranged marriage. A painter, disenchanted with New York City, travels to the South of France and becomes romantically involved with an entrepreneur who claims to have invented a new color. Meanwhile, on an island where the Indian and Pacific Oceans converge, and where foreign countries have dumped their waste, causing a landfill mountain to form, a local boy facing daily hardships gains internet fame for his K-pop-inspired dances.
Juhea Kim is the author of the novel Beasts of a Little Land, which was a finalist for the Dayton Literary Peace Prize and the winner of the Yasnaya Polyana Literary Award, Russia’s most significant annual award in literature. It has been translated into many languages and is for television. She is also the author of City of Night Birds, which was a Reese’s Book Club pick.
A graduate of Princeton University, her writing has been published in Granta, the Times Literary Supplement, the Independent, Zyzzyva, Guernica<, and other outlets. She is an advocate for wildlife conservation, animal rights, and education and aid in Africa. Born in Korea and raised in Portland, Oregon, Kim now lives in London.
Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!
by Alice Hoffman
I read Everything My Mother Taught Me by Alice Hoffman on the last day of 2022 as I was alone, and I have always admired Ms. Hoffman’s prose. The short story is a haunting short story of loyalty and betrayal, a young woman in early 1900s Massachusetts discovers that in navigating her treacherous coming-of-age, she must find her voice first. I know it is a book that Jan would have enjoyed reading, and I highly recommend it.
Alice Hoffman’s Everything My Mother Taught Me is part of Inheritance’s five stories about secrets, unspoken desires, and dangerous revelations between loved ones. Each piece can be read or listened to in a single setting. By yourself, behind closed doors, or shared with someone you trust. I plan to read more of this series in 2023.
The Goodreads summary provides an overview.
New York Times bestselling author of The Rules of Magic Alice Hoffman crafts a beautiful, heart-wrenching short story. For fatefully observant, Adeline, growing up, carries an ominous warning from her adulterous mother: don’t say a word. Adeline vows never to speak again. Her only secret. After her mother takes a housekeeping job at a But that’s not lighthouse off the tip of Cape Ann, a local woman vanishes. The key to the mystery lies with Adeline, the silent witness.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Anne Tyler
Today, I dove into the enchanting world of “Three Days in June” by Anne Tyler, a novel that promises to become an instant classic. It beautifully captures the experience of a socially awkward mother-of-the-bride as she navigates the whirlwind of emotions before and after her daughter’s wedding. After shuffling through the frosty morning air on my walk, wrapping myself in the warmth of Tyler‘s words about three sun-soaked days in June felt like the perfect escape. What a delightful contrast!
Gail Baines is having a bad day. First, she loses her job—or quits, depending on whom you ask. Tomorrow, her daughter, Debbie, is getting married, and she hasn’t even been invited to the spa day organized by the groom’s mother. Then, Gail’s ex-husband, Max, arrives unannounced on her doorstep, carrying a cat, without a place to stay or even a suit.
However, the crisis occurs when Debbie shares a secret she has just learned about her husband-to-be with her parents. This will not only throw the wedding into question but also stir up Gail and Max’s past.
Told with deep sensitivity and a tart sense of humor and full of the joys and heartbreaks of love, marriage, and family life, “Three Days in June” is a triumph and shows the perennially bestselling, Pulitzer Prize-winning writer at the height of her powers.
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