Rivers of Grief

Rivers of Tears!

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 35 seconds

Celebrate JanI wept as I walked this morning. It was drizzling, but my tears dampened my face and jacket more than the rain.

It felt like rivers of grief behind my eyes, seeking a way to release themselves and return to the ocean.

I cried more in the last 24 hours than I have at any time since Jan died.

Some of this may be the holiday season or the approach of the seventh month.

Whatever the reason, I realized today how large the void in my heart is without the love of my life.

Love never dies; it only grows stronger!

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Rivers of Grief
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The Midnight Bargain

Read: February 2022

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The Midnight Bargain

by C.L. Polk

The Midnight Bargain by C.L. Polk is about Beatrice Clayborn, a sorceress, who was the next book to read. She practices magic in secret, terrified of being locked into a marital collar that will cut off her powers to protect her unborn children. She dreams of becoming a full-fledged Magus and pursuing magic as her calling as men do. Still, her family has staked everything to equip her for Bargaining Season, when young men and women of means descend upon the city to negotiate the best marriages. The Clayborn’s are in severe debt, and only she can save them by securing a good match before their creditors call.

In a stroke of luck, Beatrice finds a grimoire that contains the key to becoming a Magus, but before she can purchase it, a rival sorceress swindles the book right out of her hands. Beatrice summons a spirit to help her get it back, but her new ally exacts a price: Beatrice’s first kiss . . . with her adversary’s brother, the handsome, compassionate, and fabulously wealthy Ianthe Lavan.

The more Beatrice is entangled with the Lavan siblings, the harder her decision becomes: If she casts the spell to become a Magus, she will devastate her family and lose the only man to ever see her for who she is, but if she marries—even for love—she will sacrifice her magic, her identity, and her dreams. But how can she choose just one, knowing she will forever regret the path not taken?

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Within Arm's Reach: A Novel

Read: May 2024

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Within Arm’s Reach: A Novel

by Ann Napolitano

I embarked on the journey of reading “Within Arm’s Reach: A Novel” by Ann Napolitano today. This poignant and insightful debut novel from the esteemed New York Times bestselling author of “Hello Beautiful” unfolds the story of a large Catholic family spanning three generations whose lives are upended by an unforeseen pregnancy.

“Within Arm’s Reach” is a compelling novel crafted by Ann Napolitano, a bestselling author. The book powerfully captures our profound connections with loved ones, a theme that resonates universally, even when we struggle to express our emotions. The narrative, set in the context of an Irish American family spanning three generations, is a testament to the author’s skill in addressing deeply human themes. It’s another profoundly satisfying narrative from the author who previously explored grief in “Dear Edward” and the unbreakable bonds of sisterhood in “Hello Beautiful.”

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Hey, Zoey

Read: June 2024

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Hey, Zoey: A Novel

by Sarah Crossan

Today, I enjoyed immersing myself in the captivating and thought-provoking world of Sarah Crossan‘s novel ‘Hey, Zoey.’ As Sarah Dunn eloquently puts it, this book is a masterful blend of brilliance and dark humor. The story revolves around Dolores O’Shea, whose life turns surprising when she discovers her husband’s AI sex doll, Zoey, in the garage.

A profound and heartfelt journey of self-discovery unfolds for Dolores as she and ‘Zoey‘ develop an unconventional bond, unearthing deeply buried emotions and memories. Dolores O’Shea, a 43-year-old woman, is a beacon of strength, juggling her job, ailing mother, and social life with remarkable efficiency.

Her marriage with an anesthesiologist, David, is in turmoil, but she’s determined to confront the issues. Her world is completely upended when she uncovers Zoey, the $8,000 AI sex doll that David had been concealing in the garage. At first, Dolores’ response to Zoey is a whirlwind of anger and confusion, throwing her meticulously organized life into chaos.

As the narrative unfolds, Dolores and Zoey embark on a series of conversations that unearth unexpected emotions and memories, profoundly influencing all of Dolores’ relationships, particularly her relationship with herself. Dolores’ journey is a rollercoaster of events and emotions that resonates with us all. ‘Hey, Zoey‘ is a novel that enthralls and challenges our perception of modern-day connections and the diverse forms that love can assume in a lifetime.

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The Boy from the Sea

Read: May 2025

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The Boy from the Sea

by Garrett Carr

The Boy from the Sea by Garrett Carr is set on the west coast of Ireland during the 1970s and 1980s. This captivating debut novel tells the story of a baby boy found on the beach near a small fishing town, narrated by the locals who become enchanted by him. Both outrageously funny and profoundly moving, The Boy from the Sea showcases the talent of an essential new voice in Irish literature.

In 1973, a baby boy was discovered on the beach of a close-knit fishing village in Ireland. Fisherman Ambrose Bonnar offers to bring the child into his family, which includes his son Declan, his wife Christine, and, up the lane, Christine’s sister and aging father. The townspeople remain fascinated by the baby, whom they name Brendan, as he grows into a strange yet charismatic young man.

The Boy from the Sea tells the story of a family and a community thrown into turmoil by Brendan’s arrival. The family’s fortunes rise and fall over the years, just as the town does because nothing happens to one family here without affecting them all. The forces of a voracious global economy and modernized commercial fishing wreak havoc on their way of life. In the village, Brendan and Declan are wildly different and often at odds; meanwhile, Ambrose worries about his children but cannot divert his attention from the brutal work that keeps his family afloat. As the world around them changes, the mystery of Brendan’s origins draws them toward a surprising and stormy fate.


Garrett Carr teaches creative writing at the Seamus Heaney Centre at Queen’s University Belfast and frequently contributes to The Guardian and The Irish Times. His nonfiction work, The Rule of the Land: Walking Ireland’s Border, was chosen as a BBC Radio 4 Book of the Week. The Boy from the Sea marks Carr’s debut novel.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Don’t miss out on this exciting opportunity! Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org! It’s the perfect chance to add this compelling novel to your collection.


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Shred Sisters

Read: January 2025

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Shred Sisters: A Novel

by Betsy Lerner

Today, I dove into Betsy Lerner‘s debut novel, “Shred Sisters.” Lerner is also known for her acclaimed work, “The Bridge Ladies.” This gripping story beautifully unravels the intricate tapestry of family bonds, mental illness, and the tumultuous relationship between two sisters. It’s compelling enough to have earned a spot on the longlist for the Center for Fiction First Novel Prize.

The tagline resonates deeply: “No one will love or hurt you more than a sister.” When one family member is unstable, the entire family feels the impact. Enter the Shreds. Olivia, the sister in the spotlight, finds her once-stunning confidence becoming erratic and unpredictable, causing chaos in her wake. Her younger sister, Amy, is cautious and studious, believing in facts, proof, and empirical evidence. Yet none of that can explain what’s happening to Ollie, whose physical beauty and charisma hide the mental illness that will ultimately disrupt Amy’s carefully constructed life.

As Amy ages, she strives to find her place—first in academics, then in New York publishing, and through a series of troubled relationships. With every step she takes, she encounters Ollie, who unpredictably slips in and out of the Shred family’s life. Despite the challenges threatening their sibling bond, Amy and Ollie cannot escape or deny the unbreakable sisterly connection that ties them together.

“Shred Sisters” is an intimate and bittersweet story that explores the complexities of sisterhood, mental health, loss, and love over two decades. In the end, Amy learns a valuable lesson on her journey to self-acceptance: no one will love or hurt you more than a sister. I can’t wait to see where this emotional journey takes me!



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Worry: A Novel

Read: May 2024

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Worry: A Novel

by Alexandra Tanner

Today, I began reading Alexandra Tanner‘s debut novel, Worry: A Novel. The New Yorker praised it as “dryly witty,” The New York Times Book Review called it “fabulously revealing.” The story follows two siblings-turned-roommates who try to navigate an absurd world on the verge of calamity. It explores existentialism and sisterhood in a Seinfeldian style.

In March 2019, Jules Gold, a 28-year-old woman, felt anxious, frustrated with her art, and addicted to the internet. She lives alone in the apartment she used to share with her ex-fiancé. Her younger sister Poppy unexpectedly comes to stay with her indefinitely. Poppy, who attempted suicide a year and a half ago, is looking for work and purpose in Brooklyn. Meanwhile, Jules spends her days scrolling through the feeds of Mormon mommy bloggers and waiting for something to happen in her life.

Poppy’s hives, which she has had since childhood, flare up again. Jules has health problems with her uterus. Poppy adopts a poorly behaved-rescue dog named Amy Klobuchar. Poppy’s mother, who recently became a devout Messianic Jew, starts believing in the same deep-state conspiracy theories as Jules’ online mommies. Jules half-heartedly tries to find the source of her ennui and cruelly blames Poppy for not being a good enough friend, writer, or sister. As the year progresses and a new decade approaches, a disastrous trip back to Florida forces Jules and Poppy to question their futures and whether they want to spend them together or apart.

Worry is a darkly funny and deadpan portrayal of two sisters struggling through anxiety and uncertainty in America. A bold new voice in contemporary fiction writes it.

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