The Next Caitlan Clark

The Next Caitlan Clark

Walking My Way Home One Step at a Time

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 53 seconds

Some mornings, I question why I wake up at 5:30 for an early walk. Today was one of those days. As I stirred from sleep, I noticed a text message from a very close friend who was experiencing a widow’s nightmare. I swiftly responded to the message but hesitated to call, unsure if she would be awake. Opting instead to clear my head, I laced up my walking shoes and embarked on my morning stroll, maintaining a leisurely pace of under 18 minutes per mile. Throughout the eight-mile journey, I conversed with friends and caught sight of a promising young athlete who reminded me of the next Caitlin Clark.

The June Apple Watch exercise challenge for me is to burn 851 calories a day. Although the goal seems achievable, the algorithm complicates matters. In a few days, I burn 100 calories a mile, while on other days, I only burn 70 or 80 calories. As I hit the first-mile mark this morning, I was 102 calories and completed the distance in 17 minutes and twenty-six seconds. Perhaps I was walking faster and getting better results because I was anxious about my friend. As soon as I walked into my home, I called her.

While walking this morning, I encountered a young mother playfully pretending to block basketball shots from a kindergarten-aged boy. Without thinking much, I commented, “He looks like the next Caitlin Clark. I’m sure the Knicks could have used his help.” As I walked a few more steps, I told the mother, “I’m not sure if he knows who Caitlan Clark is.” The mom responded, “I do, and I appreciate what you said.

Never Forget Our People Were Always FreeMy walks have not only helped me feel better and lose weight but have also helped me survive grief. Today, on my perambulations, I was reminded of a powerful quote from Khaled Hosseini’s And the Mountains Echoed: “We are just wandering, circling around each other, we are all, in the end, just walking each other home.” Imagine a world where we walk each other home and treat everyone as family. If we did that, as Ben Jealous writes in Never Forget Our People Were Always Free, we would all be cousins. We must walk our neighbors home and treat them as family because, in the end, we are all cousins.

Walking for 1097 Days

For the past three years, I have been walking towards the future. I find joy in the little things that make up my daily routine, but sometimes, I feel a deep longing for companionship.

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Love is a Magical Force!

Walking My Way Home One Step at a Time

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 53 seconds

Love is a Magical Force!

Whenever I fall in love, I do so with all my heart and soul, leaving no room for half-steps. My love is unconditional and knows no boundaries. My wife knew and accepted me for who I am. Together, Jan and I created a legacy for ages to come.

Walking and Reading Daily!

Walking My Way Home One Step at a Time

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 53 seconds

Walking and Reading Daily!

I follow a set of routines. Since my wife passed away, two habits that have been particularly important for me are walking and reading. They have become an essential part of my daily life and have helped me maintain a sense of balance and structure amidst the chaos of everyday life.

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The Next Caitlan Clark
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Hello Beautiful

Read: March 2023

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Hello Beautiful

by Ann Napolitano

Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano is a gorgeous, profoundly moving portrait of what’s possible when we choose to love someone, not despite who they are but because of it. Although several sources recommended Hello Beautiful, I chose the novel based on the title as it is how I always greeted Jan. I highly recommend this book as it is one of the best I have ever read.

Hello Beautiful is an exquisite homage to Louisa May Alcott’s timeless classic, Little Women. Knowing it was not him, William Waters’s experience growing up as an only child was an engaging character in the early portion of the novel. However, my hero was Sylvie, the dreamer who pursued true love and found it in a place one would less expect to find it. The consequences of her love reverberate over decades in their families

The following passage is one example of a well-written book.

We’re separated from the world by our own edges,” Charlie Padavano says to Sylvie in “Hello Beautiful.” He continues, “We’re all interconnected, and when you see that, you see how beautiful life is.

The interconnections of the characters make this novel one of the best I have read. If only more of us could learn the lessons that Charlie Padavano shared with Sylvie.

As a man on a lifetime grief journey, this exchange echoes my experience.

When an old person dies,” Kent said, “even if that person is wonderful, he or she is still somewhat ready, and so are the people who loved them. They’re like old trees, whose roots have loosened in the ground. They fall gently. But when someone like your aunt Sylvie dies—before her time—her roots get pulled out and the ground is ripped up. Everyone nearby is in danger of being knocked over.”

Grief is love.” Now Alice thought: Forgiveness is too.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

William Waters grew up in a house silenced by tragedy, where his parents could hardly bear to look at him, much less love him. So it’s a relief when his skill on the basketball court earns him a scholarship to college, far away from his childhood home. He soon meets Julia Padavano, a spirited and ambitious young woman who surprises William with her appreciation of his quiet steadiness. With Julia comes her family; she is inseparable from her three younger sisters: Sylvie, the dreamer, is happiest with her nose in a book and imagines a future different from the expected path of wife and mother; Cecelia, the family’s artist; and Emeline, who patiently takes care of all of them. Happily, the Padavanos fold Julia’s new boyfriend into their loving, chaotic household.

But then darkness from William’s past surfaces, jeopardizing not only Julia’s carefully orchestrated plans for their future, but the sisters’ unshakeable loyalty to one another. The result is a catastrophic family rift that changes their lives for generations. Will the loyalty that once rooted them be strong enough to draw them back together when it matters most?


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Being Mortal

Read: August 2019

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Being Mortal

by Atul Gawande

Before departing for Toronto to celebrate our 44th Wedding Anniversary, I went through the e-library. Everything on my list that I wanted to read was not available except for this book. Being Mortal by Atul Gawande is the book I read on our vacation before Jan’s diagnosis of non-Hodgkin Large B-cell Lymphoma.

Selecting Being Mortal might seem an accidental choice to some, and I believe it was a divine intervention. It prepared me to be a caregiver to my wife over the nineteen months of her fight with cancer. It helped me focus on the good life that my wife lived and not the pain and suffering.

Atul Gawande describes his book as “riveting, honest, and humane. Being Mortal shows that the ultimate goal is not a good death but a good life – to the very end.”

When I read the book, I wondered what I could have done to help my mother in her final years. The book offers an excellent overview of how nursing homes and assisted living facilities have struggled to meet the needs of their residents.

Dr. Gawande provides an in-depth overview of the benefits of hospice care. Although I knew of this option, reading this book helped me understand that I was ready for hospice when my wife came home for the last time.

He reminds us that “when it comes to the inescapable realities of aging and death, what medicine can do often runs counter to what it should.” As he writes in the book, the current system does not work and, in many cases, actually shortens life.

This book has had a lasting impact on my life. It allowed me to be a loving caregiver to my wife when she needed it more than anything else. I read it when it would be most beneficial to me.

I highly recommend this book.


Atul Gawande is the author of several bestselling books: Complications, a finalist for the National Book Award; Better; The Checklist Manifesto; and Being Mortal. He is also a surgeon at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, a staff writer for The New Yorker, and a professor at Harvard Medical School and the Harvard School of Public Health. He has won the Lewis Thomas Prize for Writing about Science, a MacArthur Fellowship, and two National Magazine Awards. In his work in public health, he is the Founder and Chair of Ariadne Labs, a joint center for health systems innovation, and Lifebox, a nonprofit organization dedicated to making surgery safer globally. He is also the chair of Haven, where he served as CEO from 2018 to 2020. He and his wife have three children and live in Newton, Massachusetts.



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Come and Get It

Read: February 2024

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Come and Get It

by Kiley Reid

I recently started reading “Come and Get It” by Kiley Reid, a celebrated New York Times bestselling author known for her book Such a Fun Age. The novel is about a senior resident assistant named Millie Cousins, who, in 2017, attended the University of Arkansas. Millie aspires to graduate, get a job, and buy a house.

She is offered an unusual opportunity by Agatha Paul, a visiting professor and writer, which she accepts. Unfortunately, Strange new friends, dorm pranks, and illicit behavior undermine Millie’s ambition.

Overall, “Come and Get It” is a gripping story about desire, consumption, and recklessness. It explores themes of money, indiscretion, and bad behavior through Millie’s eyes. The novel is highly anticipated, given that Kiley Reid is an acclaimed and award-winning author.

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The Bee Sting: A Novel

Read: December 2023

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The Bee Sting: A Novel

by Paul Murray

I began reading “The Bee Sting: A Novel” by Paul Murray today, the seventy-fifth book I have read this year, one more than last year. This exuberantly entertaining novel is a tour de force that portrays post-crash Ireland, a tragicomic family saga, and a dazzling story about the struggle to be good at the end of the world.

The Barnes family is in trouble, with Dickie’s once-lucrative car business going under. However, Dickie is spending his days in the woods, building an apocalypse-proof bunker with a renegade handyperson. His wife, Imelda, sells off her jewelry on eBay while trying to avoid the attention of fast-talking cattle farmer Big Mike. Meanwhile, their teenage daughter, Cass, formerly top of her class, seems determined to binge drink through her final exams. As for twelve-year-old PJ, he’s on the brink of running away.

If you were to change this story, how far back would you have to go? To the infamous bee sting that ruined Imelda’s wedding day? To the car crash one year before Cass was born? Or back to Dickie at ten years old, standing in the summer garden with his father, learning how to be a real man?


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Other People's Fun

Read: November 2025

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Other People’s Fun

by Harriet Lane

Other People’s Fun” by Harriet Lane is an engaging, thought-provoking novel that explores modern life, including the small lies we tell our neighbors, friends, families, and even ourselves, as well as the distorted reality of social media. Known for her signature blend of creeping unease and keen observation, Lane’s page-turner delves into our deep desire for others to truly see us as we are—and the consequences that arise when that happens.

“I look. I can’t stop looking. That’s the deal, isn’t it? We all know that’s how it works. If someone wants to be seen–and oh, how they want to be seen–then someone has to watch.”

Ruth is alone, unnoticed, and at a loss: her marriage has ended, her daughter is leaving home, and her job is leading nowhere.

But luckily, Sookie is back in her life, the vivid, self-assured Sookie who never spared time for Ruth when they were teenagers, but who now seems to want to be friends. But as Ruth becomes entangled in Sookie’s life, she realizes that everything is not as Instagrammable as Sookie would have her believe. As the truth about Sookie becomes clearer, so too does the choice Ruth will have to make.


Harriet Lane has experience as an editor and staff writer for Tatler and the Observer. She has contributed articles to The Guardian, Vogue, and The New York Times. Additionally, she is the author of two novels, Alys, Always, and Her. Lane resides in North London.



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My Friend, I Care

Read: August 2021

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My Friend, I Care: The Grief Experience

by Barbara Karnes RN

My journey from the Island of Grief back to the Land of Love is long and arduous. Friends, especially those who have also lost a loved one, are the guideposts on this journey. One of these friends, Sue Gramacy, sent this book to me during the early phases of my grief journey.

My Friend, I Care: The Grief Experience may be one of the shortest books I have ever read, but it is also one that has been most helpful. Barbara Karnes, RN, provides a concise understanding of grief, and she includes a list of dos and don’ts that are very helpful to someone who has recently lost the love of their life.

She provides a compelling explanation of the new life that we all must strive to achieve.

Our inability to further enjoy life does not measure our loss. The quality of our relationship with the person who has died is found in our strength, our resilience and our ability to create a new and meaningful life.

The endpoint of my journey is a new and meaningful life. This book has helped remind me that it is an achievable goal.

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