Pedicure with Hugo

My Pampered Pinkies

My Feet Float Like Butterflies After My First Pedicure

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 14 seconds

I lifted my right leg and began carefully cutting my toenails. Despite my caution, I ended up with unevenly cut toes, including my pinkies, but at least they were no longer sharp claws. In the early days after my wife passed away, I neglected this task, and my toenails tore a six-inch hole in the bedsheet as if slashed by one of my butcher knives, which left me frustrated and helpless. As soon as I started cutting my other foot, a sudden sharp pain shot through my lower back as I crossed my legs. Despite the discomfort, I managed to finish the task, although my attempt to declaw my foot was ineffective.

Applying the lidocaine patches to my back has been quite a challenge, especially since I live alone. As I carefully maneuvered them into place, the awkwardness of unpeeling and placing them on my back was one of the daily frustrations of my life. After I found the spot where I wanted to put the patch and unrolled it, my hands would become stuck as if it were a sticky bug strip. I would always manage to get the patch into place, but some wrinkles would cause discomfort and be unpleasant.

Although I noticed improvement over the following week, it was a stark reminder of the challenges of living alone. Despite the eventual decrease in pain, it served as a poignant reminder of the hurdles of living independently. As I read in Atul Gawande‘s “Being Mortal,” the inability to perform simple tasks like trimming toenails can indicate struggles with daily activities, particularly for older individuals.

Last Saturday, I had breakfast with my good friends Ana and Hugo. I sought their advice on where to get a pedicure and hoped they could recommend a nail salon. Instead, they suggested that we all go together, which wasn’t surprising given our close friendship. The following day, at 5:30 in the evening, I strolled the short, mostly level distance of 450 feet from my residence to Elegance Nails IV, located in Cleveland Plaza in Cranford. Upon arrival, I first encountered Hugo, then Ana. At that moment, I paused to consider whether I wanted to proceed with our plan.

As I settled into the chair and felt the soothing pressure of the vibrating, rolling backrest, any lingering doubts about my decision dissipated. Without hesitation, I opted for a more luxurious, comprehensive pedicure, reassured by Marta’s exceptional skill and attention to detail. Although it took her a few moments to position my feet correctly, as I had no idea where they should be, her expertise was evident as she carefully washed my feet, exfoliated the calluses, massaged my calves, and expertly trimmed my nails. With each gentle touch, I couldn’t help but let out a few giggles, much to the playful admonishment of Hugo. Despite my efforts to stifle my laughter, Marta’s nurturing, skilled hands created an atmosphere of relaxation and delight, turning a simple nail care session into a truly indulgent, joyful experience. The transformation of my feet, the care and attention I received, and the laughter shared with friends all contributed to a deeply emotional journey I will always cherish.

The Vaster Wilds: A NovelDespite setting my iPhone to Do Not Disturb, a good friend called me, and I informed her I was having my first pedicure. I answered and explained that I was having my first pedicure. She then told me that her Rabbi liked the project we had worked on, but I had to ask her to hold while I chose a color for my toes. Hugo and Ana suggested light blue. When I returned to the call, my friend informed me that her Rabbi had recommended Green to show support for Israel. “Next time,” I said, adding, “No one will see my toes.” The joy I felt from the pedicure wilted slightly; knowing I would return to living alone reminded me of Lauren Groff‘s comment in The Vaster Wilds: A Novel, “To be alone and surviving is not the same as being alive.” But the warmth of my friends’ support wrapped around me, a comforting reminder that I was not truly alone.

Whose feet are mine?

Which Toes Are Mine?

Hugo inquired about the frequency of pedicures as his toes dried under ultraviolet light. The response was “every three weeks.” Knowing that I couldn’t take care of my toenails alone, I accepted that monthly pampering might be essential despite my tight budget. Any doubts that lingered in my mind vanished as my feet floated like butterflies during my morning walk. Despite walking faster and covering more miles, my calorie burn was lower than on previous walks. I blamed Siri for a defective algorithm failing to measure my calorie burn. I almost asked Siri whether I would forever live alone, but I didn’t, because I didn’t want a deflating answer. The pedicure, with its physical and emotional benefits, profoundly impacted my well-being, reminding me of the importance of self-care and the joy I found in a simple yet crucial indulgence.

A Journey Worth Taking

We have been blessed with the incredible gifts of hearing, embracing, and walking into the future. I am dedicated to fearlessly approaching the future with determination, cherishing every moment, and striving to become the best version of myself.

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Pedicure with Hugo
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So Far Gone

Read: June 2025

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So Far Gone: A Novel

by Jess Walter

For the week before Father’s Day, I read So Far Gone by Jess Walter, a hilarious, empathetic, and brilliantly provocative adventure through life in modern America about a reclusive journalist forced back into the world to rescue his kidnapped grandchildren. Is this gripping tale of a grandfather’s love and determination the perfect read for the upcoming Father’s Day?

Rhys Kinnick, a character who has truly gone off the grid, provides a humorous twist to the story. At Thanksgiving a few years back, a fed-up Rhys punched his conspiracy theorist son-in-law in the mouth, chucked his smartphone out a car window, and fled for a cabin in the woods with no one around except a pack of hungry raccoons.

Now, Kinnick’s old life is about to land right back on his crumbling doorstep. Can this failed husband and father, a man with no internet and a car that barely runs, reemerge into a broken world to track down his missing daughter and save his sweet, precocious grandchildren from the members of a dangerous militia?

With the help of his caustic ex-girlfriend, a bipolar retired detective, and his only friend (who happens to be furious with him), Kinnick, a man who is struggling with his past and his present, heads off on a wild journey through cultural lunacy and the rubble of a life he thought he’d left behind. According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, So Far Gone is a rollicking, razor-sharp, and moving road trip through a fractured nation from a writer who has been called “a genius of the modern American moment.”


Jess Walter is the author of seven previous novels, including the bestsellers The Cold Millions and Beautiful Ruins, the National Book Award Finalist The Zero, and Citizen Vince, winner of the Edgar Award for best novel. His short fiction, collected in The Angel of Rome and We Live in Water, has won the O. Henry Prize and the Pushcart Prize and appeared three times in Best American Short Stories. He lives in his hometown of Spokane, Washington.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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All Fours: A Novel

Read: May 2024

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All Fours: A Novel

by Miranda July

Today, I started reading All Fours: A Novel by Miranda July. A semi-famous artist announces her plan to drive cross-country from LA to NY. Thirty minutes after leaving her husband and child at home, she spontaneously exits the freeway, checks into a nondescript motel, and immerses herself in an entirely different journey.

Miranda July’s second novel, a testament to her unique approach to fiction, confirms the brilliance of her storytelling. With July’s wry voice, perfect comic timing, unabashed curiosity about human intimacy, and palpable delight in pushing boundaries, All Fours tells the story of one woman’s quest for a new kind of freedom. Part absurd entertainment, part tender reinvention of the sexual, romantic, and domestic life of a forty-five-year-old female artist, All Fours transcends expectation while excavating our beliefs about life as a woman. Once again, July hijacks the familiar and turns it into something new and thrillingly, profoundly alive.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Midnight Bargain

Read: February 2022

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The Midnight Bargain

by C.L. Polk

The Midnight Bargain by C.L. Polk is about Beatrice Clayborn, a sorceress, who was the next book to read. She practices magic in secret, terrified of being locked into a marital collar that will cut off her powers to protect her unborn children. She dreams of becoming a full-fledged Magus and pursuing magic as her calling as men do. Still, her family has staked everything to equip her for Bargaining Season, when young men and women of means descend upon the city to negotiate the best marriages. The Clayborn’s are in severe debt, and only she can save them by securing a good match before their creditors call.

In a stroke of luck, Beatrice finds a grimoire that contains the key to becoming a Magus, but before she can purchase it, a rival sorceress swindles the book right out of her hands. Beatrice summons a spirit to help her get it back, but her new ally exacts a price: Beatrice’s first kiss . . . with her adversary’s brother, the handsome, compassionate, and fabulously wealthy Ianthe Lavan.

The more Beatrice is entangled with the Lavan siblings, the harder her decision becomes: If she casts the spell to become a Magus, she will devastate her family and lose the only man to ever see her for who she is, but if she marries—even for love—she will sacrifice her magic, her identity, and her dreams. But how can she choose just one, knowing she will forever regret the path not taken?

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The Little Prince

Read: May 2021

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The Little Prince

by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is often referred to as a children’s book. I read it as a child and later read it to my children. After Jan died, I picked it up again and read it more than once.

I have found quotes from the book very helpful during my grief journey. These are three that I often use in my writing and my conversations with friends and family.

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”

It is such a mysterious place, the land of tears.

You see, one loves the sunset when one is so sad.”

The first quote about beautiful things only felt in the heart summarizes how I knew Jan was the one for me within seconds of meeting her.

For those who have not read the book, this overview might help convince you to read it today!

The Little Prince describes his journey from planet to planet, each tiny world populated by a single adult. It’s a wonderfully inventive sequence that evokes the great fairy tales and monuments of postmodern whimsy. The author pokes similar fun at a business person, a geographer, and a lamplighter, all of whom signify some futile aspect of adult existence.

The Little Prince will be by my bedside as long as I live!

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Neverhome: A Novel

Read: November 2024

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Neverhome: A Novel

by Laird Hunt

Today, I began reading “Neverhome: A Novel” by Laird Hunt, a critically acclaimed work that has garnered praise for its unique storytelling. The protagonist introduces herself as Ash, which is not her real name. She is the devoted wife of a farmer, yet she has left her husband to enlist as a Union soldier during the Civil War. “Neverhome” narrates Ash Thompson’s harrowing journey as she faces the chaos of battle in the South.

Amidst scenes of bloodshed, hysteria, and heartbreak, Ash undergoes a profound transformation. She evolves from a devoted wife to a hero, a folk legend, a madwoman, and, to some, a traitor to the American cause. This complex journey of self-discovery adds depth to her character and makes her story all the more compelling.

Laird Hunt‘s captivating novel illuminates the adventurous women who chose to fight rather than remain behind. It also presents a compelling mystery: Why did Ash leave while her husband stayed? This enigma, shrouded in the fog of war, keeps us intrigued and eager to uncover the truth. What challenges must she overcome to return to her husband?

In beautifully crafted prose, Hunt‘s rebellious young heroine battles her way through history. Her emotional journey, filled with longing, fear, and determination, resonates with us as she strives to return to her husband and captures our hearts.

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Camp Zero

Read: April 2023

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Camp Zero: A Novel

by Michelle Min Sterling

I recently read an incredible novel called Camp Zero by Michelle Min Sterling. The book tells the story of several climate change survivors in a near-future northern settlement and explores the intersection of gender, class, and migration. The novel is a page-turner and a masterful exploration of who and what will survive in a warming world.

The story follows Rose, a young woman who agrees to spy on the architect of an American building project in exchange for housing. She arrives at the same time as Grant, a college professor who is trying to escape his wealthy family’s dark legacy. As they begin to investigate the mysterious architect, they uncover a disturbing mystery lurking beneath the surface of the camp.

One of the most fascinating aspects of the novel is the inclusion of an elite group of women soldiers living and working at a nearby Cold War-era climate research station. The rumors surrounding their presence add more intrigue to an already compelling story.

If you’re looking for a captivating novel that will keep you on the edge of your seat, I highly recommend Camp Zero. The book is a mesmerizing and transportive read, perfect for fans of Station Eleven and The Power.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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