The First Mile is the Most Difficult!
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 29 seconds
I am and, God willing, will always be a walker.
I have never been a competitive walker.
However, since Jan died and I purchased my Apple Watch, I have done whatever I can to fulfill the monthly challenges.
This month the challenge was to walk two hundred forty-five and one-tenth miles (245.1).
This morning, I walked one hundred eighty-seven miles (187).
Although I am reasonably confident that I will complete the miles needed to meet the challenge, I wake up every morning focused on how many steps I need to take to achieve the goal.
When I get close, I do mental math to measure the miles needed to meet the goal.
Today, when I passed 61, 60, and 59 miles, I thought of Maris, Ruth, and Judge.
Once upon a time, it was the last mile that I felt the pain and had doubts about being able to continue.
Since Jan died, the first mile has been the most difficult.
When she was alive, the first mile was one we walked together.
Now it is the most difficult.
When my eyes open and I stop the alarm on my Apple Watch, I doubt whether I can walk.
But then I hear Jan whispering in my ear.
Richard, you are capable and strong, and I believe in you.
With Jan’s love, support and encouragement, I walk whispering back to her, one soul, one love everlasting!
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
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Dust Myself Off and Start Over
Jan and I believed in the message in the lyrics by Nat King Cole,
Pick yourself up... Take a deep breath... Dust yourself off And start all over again.
I am reminded of those words as I approach the final hours of my move to a smaller apartment.
Walking in my Hanson Park T-Shirt
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 29 secondsOn this morning’s walk, I wore the t-shirt from the volunteer day at Hanson Park.
A woman running with her dog passed me and said, “I like what they did with the garden.”
I was grateful for her comment, but my immediate thought was what will she say when the wind sculpture is installed.
Managing My Grief With a Day in the Park!
On Thursday, June 9, 2022, I volunteered with Hanson Park Conservancy to clean up the park.
It was a lovely day to work with friends and neighbors.
Sometimes, spending a day volunteering with friends can help me manage my grief. Whatever I do, I will never replace Jan or stop grieving.
But a day in the park can help.
