Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

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Congressional Reception 2018!

Disregard the Ides of March

If We Live Fully, Life is Beautiful!

Time is like a river!

Time is like a river!

The icy March wind made my nose feel like it would freeze and fall off before I could return home.

Despite the chill, I took a break by Jan’s soul sister’s bench to gaze upon the river.

The Rahway River flowed steadily on its journey to the sea. On some days, it has an icy coating; on others, the banks are full of neighbors fishing.

I turn to face Jan’s bench and remember the adage about living and rivers as best I can.

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of your life.

If only I could step into the river and return to a time when Jan and I walked this path in Hanson Park.

We cannot recapture the past in life or the river’s flowing waters, as time only goes forward.

But we can achieve a life worth living.

As much as the past was full of happy days, we also had sad moments.

We can and must shape the future to experience both joy and the shedding of tears.

Yesterday, after five years away, I signed up for my return trip to The Hill. It may not rival three hundred people at a Congressional Reception, but it will be a day of action.

As much as I wish Jan was still with me, I choose to live fully and embrace whatever the future brings. Like life, Jan and I shared a beautiful love!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Bringing Jan With Me!

Although I focused on what I had lost in the initial hours and days after Jan died, the only way forward was to focus on what I gained, not what I lost.

My addition calculation begins with Merrit Malloy's poem Epitaph, which was read at Jan's funeral and will be a part of mine.

Love doesn't die, People do. So, when all that's left of me Is love, Give me away.

All Mixed Up

Tomorrow Will Be a Better Day!

Living Fully in a World Without Jan!

Congressman Tom Malinowski and Jan Lilien

Former Rep. Tom Malinowski and Jan Lilien

“We bought this t-shirt for you,” said Jon and Mike gleefully.

After unwrapping and unfurling the package, I read the message as my two boys and lovely wife laughed.

CONCRETE DAD: Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set in his ways!

Looks like you found the perfect gift for my birthday!”

I wore the shirt so often that after thirty years of wear and tear, I could not wear it anymore.

“Are you sure you want to discard the t-shirt, dear? I thought it was your favorite,” Jan laughed as she held the t-shirt full of holes before me.

“I can leave that one behind…”


As cute as the t-shirt was, I have rarely felt as if I was set in my ways.

When Jan, the love of my life, died, I did not know the future, but I was confident I was flexible enough to adapt.

Slowly, one day at a time, I accepted that grief was an outstanding teacher.

Once I did, I learned to live life fully.

The best days of my life are behind and ahead of me.

Last night I signed up to attend the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism’s Day of Action.

The last time I lobbied on The Hill was in July of 2018. I was sure that I would never do that again.

Five years later, I am signed up and ready to participate in the Power for Purpose, The Reform Movement’s 2023 Campaign for Climate Justice.

Jan will be with me in spirit as I walk the halls of Congress, and the evening I return will be her 2nd Yahrzeit.

By not being stuck in my ways but choosing to live fully, I know I am doing what Jan wanted me to do.

Our love and our commitment to repairing the world will endure forever!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Choosing to Participate Fully in Life!

Afraid grief would destroy me; I chose to grow and actively participate in my life.

I celebrated Jan's life and helped build a memorial garden in Hanson Park.

Each of those baby steps helped me thru the darkest days of my grief.

But accepting that grief has been an outstanding teacher in my life, I have learned to live life fully.

By living fully, I know I am not only doing what Jan wanted me to do, but if we were to meet now, she would see someone she could love, not someone so drained by a loss that they are an empty shell.

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Mastering the Art of Dependence

Mastering the Art of Interdependence

Our Lives Depend On Each Other

Helping Hands Prepare the Garden

Photo courtesy of Neeru and Asish Patel.

Looking up from my iPad, I repeated my offer, “Can I help you?

The two previous times, the young woman had walked past me as she tried to read the signs. Her cold response had been so negative I would not have been faulted for not offering my assistance.

“OK, I am looking for this address? Can you help me find it?”

I responded affirmatively and taking the small paper with the address, I quickly explained how to find the location.

“I am going in the same direction. I can help carry one of the boxes for you?”

She seemed reluctant but also pleased with the offer of help.

“We must help each other because we are interdependent,’ was my best response, even if it did not convince her to accept my assistance.

I thought about this recent conversation and hundreds of others when I read Alissa Quart‘s essay “Can We Put an End to America’s Most Dangerous Myth?” in the NY Times.

Her guest essay strongly supports “the art of dependence.”

“The art of dependence” means accepting aid with grace and, crucially, recognizing the importance of others. It takes dignity and skill to lean on friends, loved ones, and colleagues — and even on the state.

I fully agree with Ms. Quart, the author of Bootstrapped: Liberating Ourselves from the American Dream, although I would define it as the art of interdependence.

Although I have lived alone since Jan died, I am not alone. I live in an interdependent world.

I could not lift myself during my grief journey by my bootstraps. The only way to survive was to learn to accept help from others and offer support to them.

Family, friends, neighbors, and a chosen family of widows helped me grow around my grief.

We are either here for each other or alone and living in fear.

I choose to live entirely interdependent in the world!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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My Chosen Family Helps Me Manage Grief

Family is and always will be crucial to my health and welfare. I love my two sons, their wives, and my two grandsons. However, I have also benefited from being part of a chosen family.

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Birnam Wood: A Novel

Birnam Wood: A Novel

Birnam Wood: A Novel by Eleanor Catton is a gripping psychological thriller from the Booker Prize-winning author of The Luminaries. Birnam Wood is Shakespearean in its wit, drama, and immersion in character. A brilliantly constructed consideration of intentions, actions, and consequences is an unflinching examination of the human impulse to ensure our survival. I highly recommend this novel.

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Is Facilitating My New Career?

Is Facilitating My New Career?

Is It Enough to Be a Helper?

Mitzvah Day in Hanson Park

Mitzvah Day 2022 in Hanson Park

When I am out to dinner with friends, I often wait patiently for someone to tell me my bill share.

Usually, they provide an amount, including a tip, but sometimes, they do not.

“Don’t worry, we can cover the meal,” is the response when I am not asked to pay.

Objecting is often too late, but I still question the decision.

“You facilitated our being together, and that is enough,” is the response.

Have I become someone whose value is making something more manageable or helping it along?

Is my skill set limited to moderating a discussion?

If that is what I am today, it may be because that is what I have done all of my work and personal life and what Jan’s transformative love helped me become a better person.

The best option might be to accept me as I am and not as I might fantasize about my role in life.

As I returned home with aching and tired feet, I halted my walk to chat with a neighbor.

Without thinking, I found myself quickly connecting them to other resources.

I laughed as I explained that many people think I am only good at being a facilitator.

Whatever you call it, you do it very well,” they said.

Thanks, I said as I turned toward home.

“Of course, it does begin with the “F” word…”


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Helping Others Helps Me!

No one reads my words, and few, if any, comment on my bookshelf.

But I find myself asked to facilitate more groups and thanked for only doing what any of us would do to help each other manage our grief.

Yet, I hear more people say they listen to my words because I speak with clarity and transparency. Is there any other way that any of us should talk?

Despite Grief, I Can Shape My Future

Despite Grief, I Can Shape My Future

Without Jan, My Agency Helps Me Live Fully

Jan in Washington January 2017

Jan in Washington January 2017

I woke up this morning feeling lethargic.

Despite my lack of energy and wet snow falling from the sky, I knew if I did not walk, I would not only lose my streak but feel worse later in the day.

I was meandering from one room to another in Apt. 3B, I decided to do my primary walk inside for the first time in over a year.

Walking in the hallways is not the same as walking in nature. But I did, and I finished four miles and burned over 400 calories.

Today’s perambulation reminded me of the definition of agency, which is to control our actions and their consequences on our lives.

My exercise was less than optimal, but I must live with my decision.

When Jan was alive, we shared decision-making.

In the early days of my grief journey, I found it effortless to avoid choices as I convinced myself the outcomes might be more than I could manage.

Accepting that there were many things I could not change, I accepted Victor Frankl the essential truth that Victor Frankl wrote about in Man’s Search for Meaning,

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

What should I make for dinner? How can I fill my time? Among others, the time I spent debating what to do seemed silly in retrospect. However, at the time, every decision or non-decision would be an earthquake that would destroy my life.

Once I decided to focus on Jan’s Memorial Garden, walk daily, read more, and write about and share our love, I grew around my grief.

In time, I accepted that grief had been an outstanding teacher, and I have learned to live life fully.

By living fully, I know I am not only doing what Jan wanted me to do, but if we were to meet now, she would see someone she could love, not someone so drained by a loss that they are an empty shell.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Choosing to Participate Fully in Life!

Afraid grief would destroy me; I chose to grow and actively participate in my life.

I celebrated Jan's life and helped build a memorial garden in Hanson Park.

Each of those baby steps helped me thru the darkest days of my grief.

But accepting that grief has been an outstanding teacher in my life, I have learned to live life fully.

By living fully, I know I am not only doing what Jan wanted me to do, but if we were to meet now, she would see someone she could love, not someone so drained by a loss that they are an empty shell.

Florastruck in Philly!

Florastruck in Philly!

“Wow,” my friend Deborah said as we entered the 2023 Philadelphia Flower Show. “The flowers, the smell, the sounds…”

“I thought last year was spectacular, but this is stupendous,” Ron responded.

Beverly and I were busy talking when Deborah pointed out the definition on the opening exhibit’s wall.

FLORASTRUCK [flohr-uh struhk] /adj./ stunned and amazed by floral beauty.

The description provided this overview, “At the core of all human interaction with flowers is that extraordinary moment when one is overcome with joy or awe in seeing or receiving unexpected beauty. This remarkable burst of wonder and delight is what we hope you will experience as you walk through this lush, immersive flora moment.

The four of us were indeed florastruck not only for the day at the Philadelphia Flower Show but also for the two days we were in the city and even now that we are home.

Sharing the Flower Show with friends helped make this the best since Jan died.

My first trip to the Flower Show without Jan was a washout, and my days were an internal monologue with no exit.

Last year with Ron and Deborah was enjoyable, and I could speak about grief but only in the third person.

This year, the conversations, dinners, and florastruck moments were relaxed, and I could speak frankly about Jan and even laugh with my friends.

I missed Jan but knew her spirit was with me, and she would have been as florastruck as the four of us. One day at a time, my grief recedes in my rearview mirror.

I purchased flowers for Jan on the day we met; she was, is, and will always be the love of my life!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Opening Our Eyes and Taking Action

"I think Einstein said something about this, but I cannot remember the quote precisely."

I nodded in response and spoke, "It was something about how they look and do nothing."

We stopped briefly, searched the internet, and instantly found the quote.

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein.

I mentioned that on King's birthday, Rev. Dr. Randall M. Lassiter, Pastor of the Calvary Baptist Church in Paterson, discussed the same topic.

His key point is, "blurred vision keeps us from not on loving our neighbors but also our enemies. The time to confront the impediments that impede progress in our communities, state, and nation is now!"

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Congressional Reception 2018!
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All Mixed Up
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Mastering the Art of Dependence
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Birnam Wood: A Novel

Read: March 2023

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Birnam Wood: A Novel

by Eleanor Catton

Birnam Wood: A Novel by Eleanor Catton is a gripping psychological thriller from the Booker Prize-winning author of The Luminaries. Birnam Wood is Shakespearean in its wit, drama, and immersion in character. A brilliantly constructed consideration of intentions, actions, and consequences is an unflinching examination of the human impulse to ensure our survival. I highly recommend this novel.

The review in The New Yorker and a personal recommendation made this novel my next read.

At first, the conflict between the guerrilla gardening group and a wealthy American billionaire seemed like a story that had been told too many times. However, Ms. Catton has created a page-turner that is a must-read during our current climate emergency and the growing income gap. Although the end is foretold, it may surprise the reader while confirming the conviction that we must find an alternate way forward.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Five years ago, Mira Bunting founded a guerrilla gardening group: Birnam Wood. An undeclared, unregulated, sometimes-criminal, sometimes-philanthropic gathering of friends, this activist collective plants crops wherever no one will notice: on the sides of roads, in forgotten parks, and in neglected backyards. For years, the group has struggled to break even. Then Mira stumbles on an answer, a way to finally set the group up for the long term: a landslide has closed the Korowai Pass, cutting off the town of Thorndike. A natural disaster has created an opportunity, a sizable farm seemingly abandoned.

But Mira is not the only one interested in Thorndike. Robert Lemoine, the enigmatic American billionaire, has snatched it up to build his end-times bunker–or so he tells Mira when he catches her on the property. Intrigued by Mira, Birnam Wood, and their entrepreneurial spirit, he suggests they work this land. But can they trust him? And, as their ideals and ideologies are tested, can they trust each other?


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Is Facilitating My New Career?
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Despite Grief, I Can Shape My Future
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Florastruck in Philly!
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Audition

Read: April 2025

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Audition: A Novel

by Katie Kitamura

Today, I dove into “Audition” by Katie Kitamura, and I’m already hooked! This gripping novel explores a woman’s journey as she navigates what could be the performance of her lifetime—and perhaps even two. It’s both exhilarating and disorienting, much like a Möbius strip that challenges our understanding of the people we cherish. I can’t wait to see where this story takes me!

The narrative begins with two people meeting for lunch in a Manhattan restaurant. She is an accomplished actress in rehearsals for an upcoming premiere, while he is an attractive, troubled young man—young enough to be her son. What is his relationship to her, and how does she see him?

In this compulsively readable and brilliantly crafted novel, two competing narratives unfold, challenging our understanding of the roles we play in life – whether as partners, parents, creators, or muses – and revealing the truths that each performance conceals, particularly from those who believe they know us best.

Taut and hypnotic, “Audition” showcases Katie Kitamura‘s virtuosic writing at its finest.


Katie Kitamura is the author of four previous novels, most recently A Separation and Intimacies, which was longlisted for the National Book Award and the PEN/Faulkner Award and was a finalist for a Joyce Carol Oates Prize. She is a recipient of the Rome Prize in Literature, a Lannan fellowship, and many other honors, and her work has been translated into twenty-one languages. She teaches in the creative writing program at New York University.



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Demon Copperhead: A Novel

Read: December 2022

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Demon Copperhead: A Novel

by Barbara Kingsolver

Demon Copperhead: A Novel by Barbara Kingsolver is a must-read page-turner! Set in the mountains of southern Appalachia, this is the story of a boy born to a teenage single mother in a single-wide trailer, with no assets beyond his dead father’s good looks and copper-colored hair, a caustic wit, and a fierce talent for survival. Demon Copperhead speaks for a new generation of lost boys and all those born into beautiful, cursed places they can’t imagine leaving behind.

With more knowledge about the devastation of an economy that works for a few and the opioid crisis, I felt as if I was reading about people I knew. Although the book focuses on the impact on boys, it also details the devastation that girls experience.

If Jan had read Demon Copperhead, she would have encouraged me to read it. It reminds us of the work we must do to repair the world.

As a widow, it was a reminder of the long road that we must all take even after we have hit bottom.

WNYC’s All of it hosted an interview with Barbara Kingsolver in which she speaks about Demon Copperhead and her writing.

Demon Copperhead is one of the NYTimes’ top five fiction books of 2022. I have read three of them, The Candy House, The Furrows, and Checkout 19.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

In a plot that never pauses for breath, relayed in his unsparing voice, he braves the modern perils of foster care, child labor, derelict schools, athletic success, addiction, disastrous loves, and crushing losses. Through all of it, he reckons with his invisibility in a popular culture where even the superheroes have abandoned rural people in favor of cities.

Many generations ago, Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield from his experience as a survivor of institutional poverty and its damage to children in his society. Those problems have yet to be solved in ours. Dickens is not a prerequisite for readers of this novel, but he provided its inspiration. In transposing a Victorian epic novel to the contemporary American South, Barbara Kingsolver enlists Dickens’ anger and compassion and, above all, his faith in the transformative powers of a good story. Demon Copperhead speaks for a new generation of lost boys and all those born into beautiful, cursed places they can’t imagine leaving behind.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Immortal Irishman

Read: October 2019

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The Immortal Irishman

by Timothy Egan

 

The Immortal Irishman: The Irish Revolutionary Who Became an American Hero by Timothy Egan is a book I started reading as The Worst Hard Timesincluded the first fifty pages.

I often only read a few pages and then return the book to the e-library. The Immortal Irishman was not the case, and I could not stop reading and borrowed the book immediately.

I had never heard of Thomas Francis Meagher or his life in Ireland or America. The story was fascinating, unique, and essential.

The Irish-American story, with all its twists and triumphs, is told through the improbable life of one man. A dashing young orator during the Great Famine of the 1840s, in which a million of his Irish countrymen died, Thomas Francis Meagher led a failed uprising against British rule, for which he was banished to a Tasmanian prison colony. He escaped and six months later was heralded in the streets of New York – the revolutionary hero, back from the dead, at the dawn of the great Irish immigration to America.

Meagher’s rebirth in America included his leading the newly formed Irish Brigade from New York in many of the fiercest battles of the Civil War – Bull Run, Antietam, Fredericksburg. Twice shot from his horse while leading charges, left for dead in the Virginia mud, Meagher’s dream was that Irish-American troops, seasoned by war, would return to Ireland and liberate their homeland from British rule.

The hero’s last chapter, as territorial governor of Montana, was a romantic quest for a true home in the far frontier. His death has long been a mystery to which Egan brings haunting, colorful new evidence.

I recommend this book.

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The School for Good Mothers

Read: February 2023

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The School for Good Mothers

by Jessamine Chan

The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan is a searing page-turner that is also a transgressive novel of ideas about the perils of “perfect” upper-middle-class parenting; the violence enacted upon women by both the state and, at times, one another; the systems that separate families; and the boundlessness of love, The School for Good Mothers introduces, in Frida, an everywoman for the ages.

Although it has been forty-two years since I became a parent, I still remember the anxiety of being a father. What if I could not be a good dad? Fortunately, I never had a bad like Frida. or lived in an age where parents would be sent to “a Big Brother-like institution that measures the success or failure of a mother’s devotion.”

Reading The School for Good Mothers was a reminder that solutions like this are possible unless we are willing to invest in families so that the skills and support are there to resolve any issues in the home. As a widow, I found Frida’s inner dialogue comparable to the early stages of my grief journey—the total isolation and fear of failing dominated my first months of mourning.

The School for Good Mothers had been on my book list since the middle of last year. I recommend it without reservations! Jan would have already read it, and we would be debating its fine points.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In this taut and explosive debut novel, one lapse in judgement lands a young mother in a government reform program where custody of her child hangs in the balance.

Frida Liu is struggling. She doesn’t have a career worthy of her Chinese immigrant parents’ sacrifices. She can’t persuade her husband, Gust, to give up his wellness-obsessed younger mistress. Only with Harriet, their cherubic daughter, does Frida finally attain the perfection expected of her. Harriet may be all she has, but she is just enough.

Until Frida has a very bad day.

The state has its eyes on mothers like Frida. The ones who check their phones, letting their children get injured on the playground; who let their children walk home alone. Because of one moment of poor judgment, a host of government officials will now determine if Frida is a candidate for a Big Brother-like institution that measures the success or failure of a mother’s devotion.

Faced with the possibility of losing Harriet, Frida must prove that a bad mother can be redeemed. That she can learn to be good.

Using dark wit to explore the pains and joys of the deepest ties that bind us, Chan has written a modern literary classic.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Reluctantly Home

Read: June 2022

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Reluctantly Home

by Imogen Clark

Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark is about dealing with the past—and finally facing the future-a topic that was appealing to me. Thirteen months into my grief journey, I live between a perfect past and an unknowable future. Will Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark help me manage these two worlds?

Surprisingly it did. Unlike the two protagonists, I am mourning losing Jan, the love of my life. However, the neuromapping in my brain made it impossible to understand how to continue to love Jan and separate that from the time and space connections that made me believe she would return at any moment.

Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark helped me understand that grief should and cannot define us forever. I recommend this book to all readers, not only those on a grief journey like mine.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Pip Appleby seems to have it all, with her prestigious job as a human rights lawyer and her enviable London home. But then a tragic accident stops her life in its tracks, and everything changes instantly. Retreating to her family’s rural farm and the humble origins she has been trying to hide, Pip is haunted by what she has done.

When she discovers the diary of actress Evelyn Mountcastle in a box of old books, Pip revels in the opportunity to lose herself in someone else’s life rather than focus on the disaster that is her own. But soon, she sees parallels—Evelyn’s life was also beset by tragedy, and, like Pip, she returned to Southwold under a dark cloud.

When Pip and Evelyn’s paths cross in real life, they slowly begin to reveal the hidden stories holding them back. Can they help each other forgive what happened in the past and, perhaps, find happiness in the future?


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Invisible Child

Read: December 2021

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Invisible Child: Poverty, Survival & Hope in an American City

by Andrea Elliott

Invisible Child: Poverty, Survival & Hope in an American City by Andrea Elliott was a gift from my son Jon. The New York Times selected “Invisible Child” as one of the best books published this year. It is indeed one of the top books on my all-time list.

GoodReads summary provides a good overview,

The riveting, unforgettable story of a girl whose indomitable spirit is tested by homelessness, poverty, and racism in an unequal America—from Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Andrea Elliott of The New York Times

Invisible Child follows eight dramatic years in the life of Dasani Coates, a child with imagination as soaring as the skyscrapers near her Brooklyn homeless shelter. Born at the turn of a new century, Dasani is named for the bottled water that comes to symbolize Brooklyn’s gentrification and the shared aspirations of a divided city. As Dasani grows up, moving with her tight-knit family from shelter to shelter, this story goes back to trace the passage of Dasani’s ancestors from slavery to the Great Migration north. When Dasani comes of age, New York City’s homeless crisis explodes as the chasm deepens between rich and poor.

In the shadows of this new Gilded Age, Dasani must lead her seven siblings through a thicket of problems: hunger, parental drug addiction, violence, housing instability, segregated schools, and the constant monitoring of the child-protection system. When, at age thirteen, Dasani enrolls at a boarding school in Pennsylvania, her loyalties are tested like never before. As she learns to “code switch” between the culture she left behind and the norms of her new town, Dasani starts to feel like a stranger in both places. Ultimately, she faces an impossible question: What if leaving poverty means abandoning the family you love?

By turns heartbreaking and revelatory, provocative and inspiring, Invisible Child tells an astonishing story about the power of resilience, the importance of family, and the cost of inequality. Based on nearly a decade of reporting, this book vividly illuminates some of the most critical issues in contemporary America through the life of one remarkable girl.

Jan and I were involved and knew that child poverty and homelessness needed repair. In addition, Jan lived on Washington Park across from Ft. Greene Park in 1974-75. We knew the neighborhood where much of the book’s story takes place. 

Before meeting Jan in 1973, I was both a community/tenant organizer and a youth worker. In the latter role, I made weekly hostel trips for eight to ten young boys from East Williamsburg during 1973. The trips were the first the boys had ever been outside of their neighborhood.

Many of them had imaginations like Dasani. They also had her instinct to fight. One of my first tasks was to check for any weapons.

Decades later, when I would see any of them, now adults, they would ask when we were going on another trip. I wish I had met Jan when I made those trips. She would have helped me improve them and document the impact. If I could re-write history, I would have her join me as the second adult on the hostel trips.

After that summer, it was clear my primary skills were as a community/tenant organizer. Over the next few years, my work focused on creating affordable and supportive housing.

Jan and I did meaningful work that made a difference, yet the need for a permanent solution to the crisis remains. The book highlights the crucial role of resilience, the importance of family, and the cost of inequality. As a nation, we cannot undermine those values by breaking up families, impeding resilience, and maintaining racial and economic inequality. 

The current debate in Washington over the Build Back Better legislation needs to focus not on how much we spend but on its impact on children and families

David Brooks, a conservative commentator, has supported these expenditures for what they can do to address this country’s cultural and economic crisis. 

These packages say to the struggling parents and the warehouse workers: I see you. Your work has dignity. You are paving your way. You are at the center of our national vision.

This is how you fortify a compelling moral identity, which is what all of us need if we’re going to be able to look in the mirror with self-respect. This is the cultural transformation that good policy can sometimes achieve. Statecraft is soulcraft.

If you can only read one book this year, this is the one to read. Child poverty, homelessness, and inequality impact all of us. Ending child poverty and homelessness will make us a healthier and more inclusive nation. It is time for a compelling moral call to action!

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