50th Wedding Anniversary
Estimated reading time: 11 minutes, 59 seconds
Lessons Grief Taught Me!
How have I managed my grief? In the immediate aftermath, I felt uncertain about how to move forward or even if I wanted to do so. During one of my morning walks, I remembered one of the most important blessings God has given us – ears to listen, arms to embrace, and feet to walk into the future. Once I realized this eternal truth, I was able to walk into the unknown future boldly. Your spirit was always with me, every step of the way.
I have read many books that have helped me, and I wish we could discuss them. Some were humorous, like Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan; others focused on accepting the end of life, such as Being Mortal by Atul Gawande; some explored meaning and purpose, like Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl; and others reevaluated faith, including Judaism Is About Love by Rabbi Shai Held.
Earlier this year, I read The Amen Effect: Ancient Wisdom to Heal Our Hearts and Mend Our Broken World by Rabbi Sharon Brous. I had the opportunity to meet her and share how, through persistence, I managed to navigate the turbulent waters of grief, one step at a time.
Her book reminded me that faith, love, and compassion can create a bridge over these troubled waters. There has always been a foundation to help us cope with loss; we need to embrace the ancient wisdom available to us.
One of the lessons I learned is that by paying forward the incredible love you shared with me, a beautiful ripple effect has been created—spreading joy and compassion to everyone in my life. Each small act of kindness not only warms hearts but also strengthens our connections; this love reverberates back to me, becoming stronger as I continue to share your love. I am deeply grateful for the love and support I’ve received.
By paying forward the incredible love you shared with me, I’ve created a beautiful ripple effect—spreading joy and compassion to everyone in my life. Each small act of kindness not only warms hearts but also strengthens our connections; this love reverberates back to me, becoming stronger as I continue to share your spirit. I am deeply grateful for the love and support I’ve received.
My love, the well of love you gave me is limitless—an endless source of light that empowers me to uplift both myself and others. My journey through grief has taught me the importance of both laughter and tears. I live alone, but I am not lonely. I’ve learned to embrace every moment and, just as you encouraged me during our last conversation, to remain open to the possibility of loving deeply again.
While I am confident that I can love again, I am not sure anyone except you can love me. However, by sharing your love, I have become a better person.
Tonight, as the sun sets, I will recall our wedding and the vows we shared. All we ever needed was love—true love! It’s the most powerful force in the world—a force that can heal, uplift, and give us our only hope for salvation.
Being your husband was the most incredible honor of my life. Thank you for loving me despite my flaws.
With all my love, Amen.
Richard
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
