Spread the Light!
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes, 21 seconds
Everyday is Beautiful, and We Need to Cherish Life!
“Watch out, Maggie!” Joe exclaimed as his energetic dog jumped on my leg, threatening to muddy my clothes. Despite the interruption, I couldn’t help but smile at Maggie’s playful antics. I gently petted her head, feeling her soft fur beneath my fingertips, and told Joe that today was laundry day.
As we chatted, I asked Joe how he was doing. We had first met last November after Thanksgiving. While our initial conversation was brief, we both opened up about our aspirations to become the best versions of ourselves. The ongoing COVID pandemic has forced us to reconsider many aspects of our lives, from career paths to relationships.
Of course, for me, over the past year, I had made progress despite having lost my beloved wife three years ago, and the grief at times was still fresh in my heart but more often in the rearview mirror. For Joe, it was a realization that the path he had been on was no longer fulfilling, and he was seeking new opportunities and experiences. Despite our different struggles, we shared a sense of camaraderie in facing these uncertain times together.
Joe shared with me his experience of reading self-help books and how they have benefited him. However, he expressed frustration with people who try to offload their issues onto him. I could relate to what Joe was saying as I, too, had gone through a similar experience in February.
I empathized with Joe when he said, “They are pulling me into their rabbit holes. I already have a lot on my plate trying to avoid distractions, and I don’t need additional problems.”
We talked for a while to support and encourage each other, sharing our experiences and strategies for staying focused on our goals. By the end of our chat, we both felt more robust and more determined to keep on track.
Joe and Maggie were walking back home when Joe turned to me and said, “God bless you, Richard.” I responded to him, saying I needed as many blessings as possible this month as I had a significant birthday at the end of the month. Joe wished me a happy birthday, and I corrected him, saying it was still a few weeks away.
As we walked, another couple we had seen in Nomehegan Park passed us and greeted us warmly. They wished me a happy birthday, and I reminded them it was still later in the month. However, the woman in the couple spoke and said I had so much wisdom to share with everyone.
I considered joking about it being all BS, but I didn’t want to offend anyone.
Have a Nice Day!
As I made my way home, I decided to take a different route to avoid the flooded paths in the park. As I walked, I couldn’t help but dwell on the comment someone had made about my wisdom. It left me wondering what exactly they meant. If they had referred to me as friendly, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.
I noticed a woman walking her dog as I approached the high school. Without thinking, I greeted her with a friendly “have a nice day“. She replied by saying, “It’s better than yesterday”. Although the sun was shining and the high temperature would reach the sixties, I couldn’t help but question her words. I responded that every day is beautiful, regardless of the weather. The woman agreed, and we both acknowledged the importance of making the best of what we have and helping others.
Spread the Light!
The crisp morning air brushed against my cheeks as I strolled through the desolate streets of Cranford’s downtown. Lost in thought, I reflected on the experiences that had shaped my recent past. Since the passing of my beloved wife, Jan, attending the Friday night services at Temple Sha’arey Shalom has become an essential part of my life. The comforting words of Rabbi Renee and, more recently, Rav Uri had helped me to let go of the painful memories that haunted me and embrace the peace of Shabbat.
As we gathered to light the Shabbat candles on Friday night, I felt the warmth of the flames enveloping my soul, filling me with hope. I couldn’t help but think of the Genesis commandment, “Let there be light,” which separated the day from the night. The light from the candles seemed to shine across the world, bringing a sense of peace and tranquility I had been yearning for so long.
As I traveled across North Union, something dawned on me: my simple greetings and reminders to enjoy life are more than empty words. They reflect the warm and uplifting light I experienced during Shabbat, a light that we are commanded to share with everyone we meet. Some people have criticized my cheerful phrases for years, dismissing them as mere silliness. However, I now realize that my words are not just meaningless platitudes; they are sage advice on living a joyful and fulfilling life while supporting and uplifting one another.
As I reached mile seven, my watch beeped, and I felt energized—with only half a mile left to meet this month’s exercise goal. With gratitude for the wisdom and peace I found during my daily walk, I danced like a butterfly, feeling alive and invigorated.
It has been almost three years since my wife passed away. As her caregiver, I lost my ability to greet people enthusiastically and encourage them to have a good day. Even though it may seem strange, I still believe that every day is beautiful despite the immense loss I have experienced. Moving forward one day at a time has been a significant challenge, but I have been making progress. My simple greetings may seem insignificant, but they are my way of spreading the light, being positive, and making a small contribution to repairing the world. I will continue to say “have a nice day” to those I meet. This small gesture has helped me when I felt like I couldn’t go on, and it has also helped others by sharing the light.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
