Jan Lilien, Humanitarian
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 22 seconds
By Climbing the Second Mountain Jan Was Able to Inspire and Empower Others
How does one become a humanitarian? Is it in our DNA and Humanitarians are born that way? Is there a curriculum they study to earn a degree as a humanitarian? Is it the job where you work? Is it because of the times in which one lives? Is being a child of the sixties make one a humanitarian?
Reading The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks provided me with the clarity to understand how Jan Lilien became a Humanitarian and why I am on the correct path.
Mr. Brooks writes about how we often “meet people who radiate joy—who seem to know why they were put on this earth, who glow with a kind of inner light.”
Jan radiated joy as she and I both knew why we were on this earth. Her happiness, passion, commitment, and love of life are displayed in this video that our son Mike prepared for his Mom’s shiva.
I remembered that this is how I see the world. But it is not how everybody sees it. I had a sense that this was my lens.
Jan Lilien, April 9, 2021
Far too often, people choose to climb the first mountain because they are unaware of the second option. “Their goals on this first mountain are the ones our culture endorses: to be a success, to make your mark, to experience personal happiness. But when they get to the top of that mountain, something happens.”
Neither Jan nor I even attempted to climb the first mountain. Instead, we choose to climb the second mountain.
“On the second mountain, life moves from self-centered to other-centered.” Life becomes interdependent, not independent, and it becomes a life of commitment, not one that is only about us.
Mr. Brooks “explores the four commitments that define a life of meaning and purpose:
- to a spouse and family,
- to a vocation,
- to a philosophy or faith, and
- to a community
Mr. Brooks looks “at a range of people who have lived joyous, committed lives, and who have embraced the necessity and beauty of dependence. He gathers their wisdom on how to choose a partner, how to pick a vocation, how to live out a philosophy, and how we can begin to integrate our commitments into one overriding purpose.”
He could have included Jan in that list of people!
- We both were involved in our faith communities,
- We lived and worked in communities,
- We had a vocation, not a job.
- Our life’s work was to repair the world.
All we were missing as far as commitments when we met was each other. Our love and support made us better people and gave us the strength to climb the second mountain. Without her love, I do not know who I would be or where I would be today.
Get the world together and work on one goal.
Jan Lilien, April 9, 2021
Our love for each other provided the missing link and allowed us to climb the second mountain.
Jan climbed to the top of the second mountain because of our love and became a humanitarian. I am still climbing that mountain and learning from her. H
Sharing Jan’s Love, Because Love Never Dies.
Other posts you might enjoy reading.
- How did we meet?
- Why will I always be grateful to her?
- Does Jan still have her wedding ring?
- Why does Jan’s Silk Scarf have so much meaning?
- Jan’s COVID Diagnosis
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
The book Never Forget Our People Were Always Free is told through parables. It features intimate glimpses of political and faith leaders such as Jack Kemp, Stacey Abrams, and the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The book also highlights unlikely heroes such as a retired constable, a female pirate from Madagascar, a long-lost Irishman, a death row inmate, and a man with a Confederate flag over his heart.