Sharing Jan’s Love

What I am doing is sharing her love. The love they receive increases as they share it with others.

Every Kiss With Jan Was Memorable!

Kissing Jan was a joy! Each kiss was memorable, but two were very special. These were the first and the last ones. Every day, I wish upon a star and pray that I might have one more kiss from Jan. Alas, it is impossible. But memories of those kisses are so real I can taste their sweetness.


The First Kiss – November 11, 1973

Richard, we are leaving,” said Mark, my co-worker and friend. His voice came through loud and clear into the pod that had surrounded Jan and me since we arrived at her party. I thought Jan and I were alone and not at a noisy party until Mark spoke. We talked and laughed and truly enjoyed each other’s company.

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Sharing Jan’s Love
Because Love Never Dies

“Why are you giving her love away?” My answer is that I am not giving it away. What I am doing is sharing her love. The love they receive increases as they share it with others. Ultimately, that love returns to me, and I have more of Jan’s passion for life that I can re-share.

The idea of sharing her love resulted from a poem – Merrit Malloy’s Epitaph – that Jan and I both liked. It was read at her funeral and will be at mine. The last stanza explains why I share her love to preserve her memory and legacy.

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By Climbing the Second Mountain Jan Was Able to Inspire and Empower Others

How does one become a humanitarian? Is it in our DNA and Humanitarians are born that way? Is there a curriculum they study to earn a degree as a humanitarian? Is it the job where you work? Is it because of the times in which one lives? Is being a child of the sixties make one a humanitarian?

Having spent a lifetime striving to be a humanitarian and living with one for the last forty-eight years, the answer to all of those queries is no. One becomes a humanitarian by choosing to live and specifically which mountain they decide to climb.

Reading The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks provided me with the clarity to understand how Jan Lilien became a Humanitarian and why I am on the correct path. 

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Jan Chooses Life Over Death

“We have a diagnosis,” said Dr. Saksena. “You have non-Hodgkin’s Large B Cell Lymphoma, and it is very aggressive but also very treatable.” My heart skipped a beat when I heard the message.

My arm was around Jan’s shoulder. I pulled her toward me and held her hands. I did not cry, but my voice was almost overwhelmed with tears as I told her I loved her and we would be OK. 

Dr. Saksena wanted to start chemotherapy on Thursday. Jan said she could not as she had to speak at a YWCA event. We agreed on the following Tuesday. Dr. Saksena gave her a prescription for steroids starting now instead of a few days before treatment. 

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Read: September 2025

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Buckeye: A Novel

by Patrick Ryan

Buckeye: A Novel” by Patrick Ryan takes readers on a captivating journey through a single town, where the lives of two families intertwine amidst a life-altering secret. With its sweeping narrative and intimate moments, the story delves deeply into the human experience, offering rich insights and a warmth that resonates with anyone seeking love, goodness, and yearning for connection.

In Bonhomie, Ohio, a stolen moment of passion, sparked in the exuberant aftermath of the Allied victory in Europe, binds Cal Jenkins, a man wounded not in war but by his inability to serve in it, to Margaret Salt, a woman trying to obscure her past. Cal’s wife, Becky, possesses a spiritual gift: she is a seer who can conjure the dead, helping families reconnect with those they’ve lost. Margaret’s husband, Felix, is serving on a Navy cargo ship, out of harm’s way—until a telegram suggests that the unthinkable might have happened.

Later, as the country reconstructs in the postwar boom, a secret grows in Bonhomie—but nothing stays buried forever in a small town. Against the backdrop of some of the most transformative decades in modern America, the consequences of that long-ago encounter ripple through the next generation of both families, compelling them to reexamine who they thought they were and what the future might hold.


Patrick Ryan is the author of the story collections The Dream Life of Astronauts and Send Me. The Dream Life of Astronauts was named one of the Best Books of the Year by the St. Louis Times-Dispatch, Literary Hub, Refinery29, and Electric Literature, and it was also longlisted for The Story Prize.

His work has been featured in The Best American Short Stories and the anthology Tales of Two Cities, among other publications. Ryan is the former associate editor of Granta and currently serves as the editor-in-chief of One Story. He resides in New York City.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Conjure Women

Read: November 2021

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Conjure Women: A Novel

by Afia Atakora

Conjure Women by Afia Atakora is about a mother and her daughter with a shared talent for healing—and for the conjuring of curses — at the heart of this dazzling first novel. Conjure Women takes place before, during, and after the Civil War. The book is structured around three-time frames; Slaverytime, Freddomtime, and Wartime.

Having grown up in the South and heard far too many stories about the Lost Cause, it was a joy to read a book narrated by two African-American women. The third leading character is the daughter o the owner of the plantation. At the end of the war, she was hidden away for six years and was unaware the South had surrendered.

Conjure Women is a sweeping story that brings the world of the South before and after the Civil War vividly to life. Spanning eras and generations, it tells of the lives of three unforgettable women: Miss May Belle, a wise healing woman; her precocious and observant daughter Rue, who is reluctant to follow in her mother’s footsteps as a midwife; and their master’s daughter Varina. The secrets and bonds among these women and their community come to a head at the beginning of a war and at the birth of an accursed child, who sets the townspeople alight with fear and a spreading superstition that threatens their newly won, tenuous freedom.

Magnificently written, brilliantly researched, and richly imagined, Conjure Women moves back and forth in time to tell the haunting story of Rue, Varina, and May Belle, their passions and friendships, and the lengths they will go to save themselves and those they love.

Since Jan died, I have read many books that I know she enjoyed. We both enjoyed Call the Midwife, and this book focused on birthing and mothering. Although conjuring was their medical care and not the type practiced in poplar by the Midwives, we would both have enjoyed the book.

Conjure Women also raises questions about the meaning of freedom. For example, Rue chooses not to leave the former plantation after the Klan attacks despite being free.

I recommend this book and look forward to reading more from Afia Atakora.

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Grand Rapids: A Novel

Read: January 2026

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Grand Rapids: A Novel

by Natasha Stagg

Natasha Stagg‘s “Grand Rapids” is a coming-of-age story set in the Michigan suburbs in the early 2000s. Alexander Calder’s public sculpture, “La Grande Vitesse”, installed alongside the Grand River in downtown Grand Rapids, has become a symbol of the city. Tess moved there from Ypsilanti, Michigan, in 2001—the same year her mother passed away, marking the beginning of a time when everything felt like it was moving in slow motion for her.

Thrust into adolescence nearly rudderless, fifteen-year-old Tess is intoxicated, angsty, and sexually awake. A decade later, inspired by diary entries and TV reruns, she remembers this summer in the suburbs as the one that redefined her. Its echoes of death are frozen in time, like the waves represented in Calder’s sculpture or the concrete steps leading down to the churning river. She sees Grand Rapids as a collection of architecture and emblems, another home to which she cannot return.


Natasha Stagg is the author of Surveys: A Novel (2016), Sleeveless: Fashion, Image, Media, New York 2011–2019 (2019), and Artless: Stories 2019–2023 (2023). She lives in New York City.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Essential Hamilton: Letters & Other Writings: A Library of America Special Publication

Read: February 2019

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The Essential Hamilton: Letters & Other Writings

by Edited by Joanne B. Freeman

The Essential Hamilton: Letters & Other Writings, edited by Joanne B. Freeman, Professor of History and American Studies at Yale University, is a must-read in our times when a constitutional crisis is the watchword of our day. Compared to reading all 27 volumes of Hamilton’s writings, this book provides the essential texts that offer a clear understanding of both the revolutionary era, the debates over the constitution, Hamilton’s impact as Secretary of the Treasury, and his downfall and eventual downfall death in Weehawken.

Professor Freeman’s introductions and chronology help place the writings into a historical context.

The Essential Hamilton is one of four books that I purchased after my first One Day University class.

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Thirst Trap

Read: November 2025

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Thirst Trap: A Novel

by Gráinne O'Hare

Filled with heart and humor, Thirst Trap by Gráinne O’Hare is a lively celebration of friendship, embracing uncertainty, and indulging in “just one more round” before heading home. This sharply funny novel explores the challenges of being in your late 20s as you approach 30, questioning when you will tire of morning hangovers, dead-end entry-level jobs, and late nights at bars. This friend group is about to discover the answer.

Sometimes friends hold you together.
Sometimes they’re why you’re falling apart.

Harley, Róise, and Maggie have been friends for a long time. They met in primary school years ago, and they are still together, spending their nights on the sticky dance floors of Belfast’s grungiest pubs. Each woman is navigating her own challenges—entry-level jobs, messy romantic entanglements, and late nights—but they always find their way back to each other and to the ramshackle house they share. Amidst the familiar chaos, the three are still grieving their fourth housemate, whose room remains untouched, with the weight of their last big fight lingering heavily over them.

The girls’ house has witnessed the highs and lows of their roaring twenties—raucous parties, surprising (and sometimes regrettable) hook-ups, and hellish hangovers. However, as they approach thirty, their home begins to crumble around them, and the cracks in their friendship become harder to ignore. In the midst of the wreckage, they must decide whether their friendship will survive into a new decade or if growing up sometimes means letting go.


Gráinne O’Hare is a writer from Belfast based in Newcastle upon Tyne. She received a Northern Debut Award for Fiction from New Writing North and was awarded funding by the Arts Council for the development and completion of her first novel. She has also been shortlisted for the Francis MacManus Short Story Competition and the Bridport Prize, and came in the top three of the Benedict Kiely Short Story Competition.

She is a media sub-editor for Criticks reviews of the British Society for Eighteenth-Century Studies and holds a PhD in eighteenth-century women’s life-writing from Newcastle University.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Ten Year Affair

Read: November 2025

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The Ten Year Affair

by Erin Somers

The Ten Year Affair” by Erin Somers is a witty and emotionally charged exploration of marriage, family life, and the paths not taken, ultimately asking: Do we really want our fantasies to come true? This hilariously sharp novel weaves a sliding doors narrative around a chance meeting between two young parents, both happily married (just not to each other), that sparks a will-they-won’t-they romance—perfect for fans of “Big Swiss” and “Acts of Service.”

When Cora meets Sam at a baby group in their small town, the chemistry between them is undeniable. Both are content in their marriages and have two kids, and neither sees themselves as the type to engage in an affair. Yet, their connection deepens, and as their lives intertwine, the romantic tension becomes all-consuming—until their worlds unravel into two parallel timelines. In one, they pursue their feelings; in the other, they resist.

As reality splits, the everyday details of Cora’s life—her unfulfilling marketing job, her daughter’s newfound fascination with the afterlife, and her husband’s obsession with podcasts about the history of rope—gain fresh perspective. The intersecting and diverging timelines blur the boundaries between reality and fantasy, questioning what might have been and what truly matters.


Erin Somers is a reporter and news editor at Publishers Lunch. Her debut novel, “Stay Up with Hugo Best“, was recognized as a Vogue Best Book of the Year in 2019. Her work has appeared in esteemed publications such as The New Yorker, The Paris Review, The New York Times Book Review, The New Republic, New York magazine, The Atlantic, Esquire, GQ, and Best American Short Stories, among others.

Somers has received an Emerging Writer Fellowship from the NYC Center for Fiction, a fellowship from the Millay Colony, and was a finalist for a National Magazine Award in 2020. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her family.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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