Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

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Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

Today, I began reading "Corey Fah Does Social Mobility: A Novel" by Isabel Waidner. The book is about Corey Fah, a writer whose novel has just won the Fictionalization of Social Evils prize. Despite this achievement, the trophy and funds with the award still need to be in reach. The novel celebrates radical queer survival and challenges false notions of success.

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Vase

The Empty Valentine’s Day Vase

Why Was The Vase Was Delivered Without Flowers?

“My dear, I adore the vase,” my wife announced excitedly. “I can hardly wait to show it to you!” It was February 13, 1996, and I had ordered roses and the vase online for the first time. However, I had not realized that the two parts of the Valentine’s Day gift would be delivered separately and on different days. Feeling uncertain about how to respond, I nodded on the landline phone and replied, “Yes, I can’t wait for you to come home.”

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I Completed LLS's Big Climb NJ 2023!

Why I Took the Stairway to the Train Platform

Preparing for the Big Climb One Step at a Time

On April 20th, I will be participating in The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Big Climb for the second time. Last year and again this year, I will have to climb twenty-six stories of One Gateway Center in Newark. Although I walked last year, I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to reach the top.

To help manage my anxiety and stay active, I decided to add stair climbing to my daily walks at Cranford Train Station. I started by walking up to the westbound platform and then heading south. On my way back, around the three-mile mark, I would climb the stairs to the platform for Newark-bound trains. There were forty stairs with two landing on each side, and I could feel my leg muscles strengthening with each climb.

On the day of the Big Climb, I faced a challenge with the interior stairs in the skyscraper. Despite their short length and 180-degree turn, I was determined to succeed. My meticulous preparation paid off, and I emerged victorious. This year, I am ready to take on the challenge again confidently. Would you like to support my cause and donate towards cancer research?

Donate to My Big Climb

Support My Big Climb for Jan!

With a dedicated goal of raising $700 for LLS, I have already donated half personally to show my commitment to this cause. I am confident in my ability to raise the remaining funds, and I am inviting my family, friends, and neighbors to support me by matching my donation. .

Yet Another Sunday That Was Not Super

Yet Another Sunday That Was Not Super

Fifty-eight Missed Super Bowls and Counting

I hung out with some friends in January 1967 on a warm afternoon in Panama City, Florida. Even though the AFL-NFL World Championship Game, featuring the Packers and the Chiefs, was taking place in Los Angeles, we should have paid more attention to it. We stopped at the Lucille Moore Elementary School just before the game started to play football. We were part of the Students for LBJ group and weren’t part of the popular crowd.

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Home Alone in the Burg

It no longer mattered why Jan invited me. All I can do is wait and see if she notices I am there. If the invite was not for me, there is nothing I can do.
Loving Jan

Can I Be Too Visionary and Romantic?

Thoughts on the Year of The Dragon

Although I was not born in the Year of the Dragon, I have always felt like a visionary and a romantic who strives to see beyond what is immediately apparent. Recently, I stumbled upon a captivating book called “Fourteen Days: A Collaborative Novel.” One of the stories explores the concept that we may be under the illusion of being separate beings, but in reality, we are all connected on a more profound level. This idea challenges conventional notions of individuality and suggests that there may be more to our existence than meets the eye. This idea is thought-provoking and inspiring, leaving me to wonder what other hidden connections exist in our world.

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Visionaries in the Year of the Dragon

The dragon zodiac sign is associated with strong leadership, independence, high energy, and visionary qualities, but they may struggle with pride and willpower.

Visionary Leaders in the Year of the Dragon

Visionaries in the Year of the Dragon

Will My Third Grandchild be a Visionary and a Romantic Leader?

I have always been fascinated by celebrating different New Year events, although I only observe the Jewish New Year. One of my most memorable experiences was watching a lively parade during the Lunar New Year in the busy streets of Chinatown, New York City. It was a beautiful sight as enthusiastic participants dressed in colorful outfits performed traditional dragon and lion dances.

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A Repetitive Year Ends

Looking ahead to the future, I feel a sense of liberation as I break free from the walls that have held me back, knowing that I am becoming the best version of myself. As the board chair of Bridges, I am excited to play my part, Tikun Olam, in repairing the world and contributing to ending homelessness.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

Read: February 2024

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Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

by Isabel Waidner

Today, I began reading “Corey Fah Does Social Mobility: A Novel” by Isabel Waidner. The book is about Corey Fah, a writer whose novel has just won the Fictionalization of Social Evils prize. Despite this achievement, the trophy and funds with the award still need to be in reach. The novel celebrates radical queer survival and challenges false notions of success.

Corey, their partner Drew, and their pet spider, Bambi Pavok, embark on a quest to find an elusive trophy with neon-beige color and UFO-like qualities. This journey takes them back to their childhood in the forest and includes a stint on a reality TV show. While facing the horrors of wormholes and time loops, Corey discovers the difference between a prize and a gift in a complex way.

Following the Goldsmiths Prize–winning Sterling Karat Gold, Isabel Waidner’s bold and buoyant new novel is about coming into one’s own, the labor of love, the tendency of history to repeat itself, and what ensues when a large amount of cultural capital is suddenly deposited in a place it has never been before.

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The Women: A Novel

Read: February 2024

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The Women: A Novel

by Kristin Hannah

I started reading “The Women: A Novel” by Kristin Hannah today. This book is written by the same author who wrote “The Nightingale” and “The Four Winds.” “The Women” is a story set in a difficult time, depicting a woman’s coming-of-age journey and an epic tale of a divided nation. It highlights that women can be heroes, too.

When twenty-year-old nursing student Frances “Frankie” McGrath hears these words, it is a revelation to her. She was raised in Southern California’s sun-drenched, idyllic world and was sheltered by her conservative parents. She has always prided herself on doing the right thing. However, in 1965, the world is changing, and Frankie suddenly dares to imagine a different future for herself. When her brother ships out to serve in Vietnam, she decides to join the Army Nurse Corps and follows his path.

Frankie, who is as inexperienced as the young men sent to fight in Vietnam, is struggling to cope with the chaos and destruction of war. Every day is a life-or-death gamble that can be filled with hope, betrayal, and shattered friendships. In this brutal reality, she encounters and becomes one of the lucky, the brave, the broken, and the lost.

War is just the beginning for Frankie and her veteran friends. The actual battle awaits when they return home to a divided and changing America, met by angry protesters and a nation wanting to forget Vietnam.

“The Women” is a novel that tells the story of a woman who goes to war. Still, its purpose is to bring attention to all the women who have put themselves in danger for their country and whose sacrifice and dedication have often been overlooked. The book is about solid friendships and patriotism, and it portrays a brave and idealistic heroine whose courage in times of war will become a defining moment in history.

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Vase
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I Completed LLS's Big Climb NJ 2023!
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Yet Another Sunday That Was Not Super
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Loving Jan
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Visionary Leaders in the Year of the Dragon
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The Candy House

Read: December 2022

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The Candy House: A Novel

by Jennifer Egan

The Candy House: A Novel by Jennifer Egan focuses on a new technology that allows you access to every memory you’ve ever had and to share your memories in exchange for access to the memories of others—it has seduced multitudes. According to the NYTimes, “this is minimalist maximalism. As a widow, I live in a world of memories, but I would not want them shared as they are in The Candy House. “It’s as if Egan compressed a big 19th-century novel onto a flash drive.”

Of course, I am not able to access my unconscious memories. Albeit in an amateur way, I write down some of my memories as they remind me of the power of the love that Jan and I shared. For example, the essay when I met Jan rekindles the memory and attempts to tell the story the way it happened, not how some would like it to be remembered.

The Candy House is one of the NYTimes’ top five fiction books of 2022. I have read two of them, The Furrows and Checkout 19. Initially, I was overwhelmed by the multitude of characters and was confused. By the novel’s middle, their interconnectedness helped me understand its real meaning. In the end, Egan delivers a fierce and exhilarating testament to the tenacity and transcendence of human longing for authentic connection, love, family, privacy, and redemption. As a widow, authenticity Is what I need to heal.

The Candy House is the seventieth (70) book I have read this year. 

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

It’s 2010. Staggeringly successful and brilliant tech entrepreneur Bix Bouton is desperate for a new idea. He’s forty, with four kids, and restless when he stumbles into a conversation with mostly Columbia professors, one of whom is experimenting with downloading or “externalizing” memory. Within a decade, Bix’s new technology, Own Your Unconscious—that allows you access to every memory you’ve ever had and to share every memory in exchange for access to the memories of others—has seduced multitudes. But not everyone.

In spellbinding linked narratives, Egan spins out the consequences of Own Your Unconscious through the lives of multiple characters whose paths intersect over several decades. Egan introduces these characters in an astonishing array of styles—from omniscient to first person plural to a duet of voices, an epistolary chapter, and a chapter of tweets. In the world of Egan’s spectacular imagination, there are “counters” who track and exploit desires and “eluders” who understand the price of taking a bite of the Candy House.

Intellectually dazzling and extraordinarily moving, The Candy House is a bold, brilliant imagining of a world that is moments away. With a focus on social media, gaming, and alternate worlds, you can almost experience moving among dimensions in a role-playing game.​ Egan delivers a fierce and exhilarating testament to the tenacity and transcendence of human longing for real connection, love, family, privacy, and redemption.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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A Love Story from the End of the World

Read: January 2026

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A Love Story from the End of the World

by Juhea Kim

Juhea Kim, the acclaimed author of Beasts of a Little Land and City of Night Birds, presents an exquisite collection of stories that explores the delicate balance between humans and the natural world. With the clear-eyed reverence of Richard Powers and the sparkling sincerity of George Saunders, her first story collection, A Love Story from the End of the World, offers a breathtaking view of our fractured world—and our broken hearts. Through its passionate narrative, the collection serves as a poignant reminder that, as humans, we are nothing without nature.

Spanning multiple locales and time periods, and rendered in fine detail and vivid color, this transportive collection illustrates what it means to live as human inhabitants of our singular, miraculous planet.

Lyrical, at times hilarious, and always heartfelt, each of these ten stories reflects individual choices in the face of “man-made” apocalypses. In a near-future Seoul, where air pollution has become so severe that a translucent biodome has covered the city, a civil engineer responsible for its upkeep considers an arranged marriage. A painter, disenchanted with New York City, travels to the South of France and becomes romantically involved with an entrepreneur who claims to have invented a new color. Meanwhile, on an island where the Indian and Pacific Oceans converge, and where foreign countries have dumped their waste, causing a landfill mountain to form, a local boy facing daily hardships gains internet fame for his K-pop-inspired dances.


Juhea Kim is the author of the novel Beasts of a Little Land, which was a finalist for the Dayton Literary Peace Prize and the winner of the Yasnaya Polyana Literary Award, Russia’s most significant annual award in literature. It has been translated into many languages and is for television. She is also the author of City of Night Birds, which was a Reese’s Book Club pick.

A graduate of Princeton University, her writing has been published in Granta, the Times Literary Supplement, the Independent, Zyzzyva, Guernica<, and other outlets. She is an advocate for wildlife conservation, animal rights, and education and aid in Africa. Born in Korea and raised in Portland, Oregon, Kim now lives in London.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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John of John

Read: August 2026

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John of John: A Novel

by Douglas Stuart

“John of John” is a captivating novel that explores themes of duty, passion, and the transformative power of truth. This remarkable literary work solidifies Douglas Stuart‘s reputation as one of the greatest contemporary novelists. The story follows a young man who returns to his home on a Hebridean island, depicting the complex relationship between a father’s expectations and a son’s desires.

Out of money and with little to show for his art school education, John-Calum Macleod takes the ferry back home to the Isle of Harris in the Outer Hebrides to find that little has changed except for him. He returns to the windswept croft and the two pillars of his childhood: his father John, a sheep farmer, tweed weaver, and lay preacher in the local Presbyterian church, and his maternal grandmother Ella, a profanity-loving Glaswegian whose steady warmth helped Cal weather the sudden departure of his mother.

Cal privately wonders if any lonely men might be found on the barren hillsides of home, while John is dismayed by his son’s long hair, strange clothes, and seeming unwillingness to be saved. But Cal isn’t the only one in the croft house who is keeping secrets. As lambing season turns to shearing season, the threads holding the community together become increasingly frayed, and nothing will remain as it was before.


Douglas Stuart is a Scottish-American author. His New York Times bestselling debut novel Shuggie Bain won prizes including the 2020 Booker Prize and the Sue Kaufman Prize from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, was a finalist for the National Book Award and the PEN/Hemingway Award, and was named one of the “25 Best Books of the 21st Century” by the Sunday Times (UK). His second novel, Young Mungo, was a national bestseller, longlisted for the Andrew Carnegie Medal and a finalist for the British Book Award, and one of the most highly acclaimed books of the year. His stories are published in The New Yorker, and his essays have featured on Literary Hub. He lives in New York City.



Discover your next favorite book and explore curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. Your support truly helps me share more meaningful stories and insights with you, enriching your reading journey.


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The Rest of Our Lives

Read: January 2026

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The Rest of Our Lives

by Ben Markovits

The Rest of Our Lives by Ben Markovits is a beautifully crafted, tender, and insightful story that depicts the journey of starting anew. Tom Layward, the protagonist, chooses not to return home after dropping his daughter off at college. This life-affirming road trip novel explores themes of marriage, middle age, and a man confronting a pivotal moment. It was a finalist for the 2025 Booker Prize.

When Tom Layward’s wife had an affair twelve years ago, he resolved to leave her as soon as his youngest child left the nest. Now, while driving his college-bound daughter to Pittsburgh, he remembers his promise to himself. He is also on the run from his own health issues and a forced leave from work.

So, rather than returning to his wife in Westchester, Tom keeps driving west, with the vague plan of visiting people from his past—an old college friend, his ex-girlfriend, his brother, his son—en route, maybe, to California. He’s moving towards a future he hasn’t even envisioned, while he considers his past and the choices he’s made that have brought him to this moment.


Ben Markovits was born and raised in Texas, and later lived in London and Berlin. He studied at Yale University and the University of Oxford. After graduating, he became a professional basketball player in Landshut, Germany, where he played against a young Dirk Nowitzki.

Markovits has authored eleven novels, including Fathers and Daughters, You Don’t Have to Live Like This, and The Sidekick. In addition to his books, he has published essays, stories, poetry, and reviews in notable publications such as The Guardian, Granta, The Paris Review, and The New York Times.

In 2013, Granta recognized him as one of their Best of Young British Novelists. He received the Eccles British Library Writer in Residence Award and the James Tait Black Memorial Prize in 2015. Currently, he lives in London and teaches creative writing at Royal Holloway, University of London.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Compound

Read: July 2025

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The Compound: A Novel

by Aisling Rawle

Addictive and prescient, The Compound by Aisling Rawle, is an explosive debut from a prominent new voice in fiction. This gripping novel, set in a remote desert compound, will linger in your mind long after the game ends. It’s a story of survival, competition, and the human spirit, making it a must-read for any fiction enthusiast. Lily—a bored, beautiful twenty-something—wakes up on The Compound, alongside nineteen other contestants competing on a massively popular reality show.

For Lily to emerge victorious, she must outlast her housemates and stay in The Compound the longest. Her journey is filled with challenges, from competing for luxury rewards like champagne and lipstick to securing communal necessities for their new home, including food, appliances, and even a front door.


Aisling Rawle was born in 1998 and raised in County Leitrim in the West of Ireland. She now lives in Dublin. The Compound is her first book.



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Bodily Harm

Read: June 2021

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Bodily Harm

by Margaret Atwood

Bodily Harm by Margaret Atwood is one of the books I picked up from our bookshelf in the first few months after Jan’s death. Being someone who has always fantasized about being a journalist, I found it very interesting.

A powerfully and brilliantly crafted novel, Bodily Harm is the story of Rennie Wilford, a young journalist whose life has begun to shatter around the edges.  Rennie flies to the Caribbean to recuperate, and on the tiny island of St. Antoine she is confronted by a world where her rules for survival no longer apply.  By turns comic, satiric, relentless, and terrifying, Margaret Atwood’s Bodily Harm is ultimately an exploration of the lust for power, both sexual and political, and the need for compassion that goes beyond what we ordinarily mean by love.

Bodily Harm may be the bleakest book that Ms. Atwood has written. One of her common themes is “the violence that human beings inflict on one another and their isolation in an uncaring world. It holds out some hope in the form of compassion to be shared by those who are victims of bodily harm in any form. The novel suggests that every person falls into this category. All are victims. There is no exemption, no escape for anyone.”

I recommend this book.

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