My Midnight Lifeline Call

Estimated reading time: 9 minutes, 7 seconds

Flat Tire Deflates My Life
A Friend Supports Me!

As I drove out of the parking deck, I noticed the tire pressure warning light glaring on the dashboard of my trusty fourteen-year-old Toyota Prius. I briefly dismissed it, attributing it to the unusually high temperatures and humidity. Yet, as I navigated the transition from I-287 to Route 24 after a delightful dinner with friends, my car began to tremble and emit a foreboding noise that drowned out the radio. Feeling utterly vulnerable and uncertain, I grappled with the fear of losing control of the vehicle. Could this spell the end for me?

After pulling over on the side of the highway, I immersed myself in introspection, reminiscing about the beautiful evening spent in the company of my fellow widows. As Jan’s husband, I often felt like an outsider at social gatherings. However, following my loss, I felt a profound sense of belonging and equality among the five of us, all of whom were widows, including the gracious host. Our gathering had taken place at Becca’s retirement community, where she had kindly invited us to dine at one of the complex’s elegant restaurants. This group of widows, including myself, found solace and understanding in each other’s company, a particularly comforting bond in times of need.

Roadside Assistance

I carefully pulled off the road onto the shoulder of Route 24 East. Some road debris had deflated the tire of my trusty Prius, causing the car to lean at a precarious 45-degree angle. I activated the emergency flashers and kept a safe distance from the vehicle in the dim light of the busy and dark stretch of road, mindful of the potential dangers of roadside emergencies.

Leaning against the roadside railing, I reached for my iPhone and dialed AAA for assistance. At first, I thought no one had answered, so I repeated “hello” several times. Then, I heard a faint metallic voice on the Bluetooth connection inside the car. Realizing I had not turned off the engine, I opened the door, turned off the engine, and switched the audio to the iPhone to communicate with the AAA operator.

When the AAA repair truck arrived, I eagerly offered to retrieve the spare tire from the car, only to discover my vehicle did not have one. The shocking realization hit me, and I exclaimed, “OMG, there is no spare tire!” The AAA driver, Ron, explained that car manufacturers had stopped providing spare tires over a decade ago. Unfortunately, as there was no spare tire, Ron couldn’t help, and I had to call AAA again to request a tow truck instead of being able to drive home.

My Lifeline Call

The night was moonless as I stood on the lonely roadside, filled with regret for not using the restroom at Becca’s apartment earlier. The urge to relieve myself had become unbearable. A chilling realization struck me as I peered over the railing – I was standing on the brink of a cliff. The thought of finding a discreet spot to urinate filled me with apprehension, knowing a misstep could lead to a fatal plunge. Terrifying thoughts of potential headlines flashed through my mind: “Bridges Board Chair Dies in a Dark Ravine!”

Feeling the gravity of the situation, I decided to contact a friend for help. I hastily texted her, “I just had dinner with the widows, but now I’m stuck with a flat tire on my way home. I am currently waiting on the roadside for AAA.” Despite the confusion regarding whether we were or were not in a relationship, I had no other option but to make my lifeline call as I needed her support with the approaching midnight.

Her response, ‘I’ll be leaving in about 15 minutes, and I’ll call you,’ was like a ray of hope in the darkness of the night. A surge of relief and gratitude engulfed me at that moment. In times of solitary struggle, having a friend to lean on can make all the difference. The weight of the situation lifted as I knew I wasn’t alone on the side of the road.

As I was engrossed in texting my friend, I almost missed the arrival of the AAA truck. Robert, the kind-hearted tow truck driver, listened as I explained my predicament and kindly recommended towing my car to the nearby Mavis Tire Store. His kindness was a soothing balm to my frayed nerves. Seated in the truck’s cab, I experienced slight dizziness from the unfamiliar height as I watched as the road stretched before me and we merged into traffic. The relief of the tow truck’s arrival and the driver’s kindness reassured me my difficult night was almost over.

While seated in the tow truck, I was engrossed in texting my friend when she suddenly gave me a call. I told her I would call her back. I inquired about Mavis’ operating hours for the upcoming Sunday, and Robert shook his head, chuckling softly. They’re likely closed until Tuesday due to the holiday,” he said. My mind buzzed with thoughts of managing Sunday grocery shopping without a car. As I pondered this, I thought of moving into a retirement community, where I could eat in the many restaurants instead of doing grocery shopping.

Arriving at the Mavis Tire store’s parking lot, I hurriedly approached Robert and inquired about the nearest restroom. He kindly pointed across the street, indicating that the only one he knew of was at QuickCheck. Before I could determine where the crosswalk was, my Lyft arrived, and my iPhone buzzed.

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1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History

Read: October 2019

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1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History

by Jay Winik

1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History by Jay Winik is a book that I had put off reading several times. When I finally did read it, I could not remember why I had not read it sooner. Had I gone to graduate school and become a professor, it might have been the type of book I might write, and I certainly would have had on my list of books for my classes. 

As The NY Times wrote, “Jay Winik brings to life in gripping detail the year 1944, which determined the outcome of World War II and put more pressure than any other on an ailing yet determined President Roosevelt.” Reading a book about events five years before my birth that transformed the world I live in becomes an easy page-turner.

It was not inevitable that World War II would end as it did or that it would even end well. Nineteen forty-four was a year that could have stymied the Allies and cemented Hitler’s waning power. Instead it saved those democracies – but with a fateful cost. Now, in a superbly told story, Jay Winik, the acclaimed author of April 1865 and The Great Upheaval, captures the epic images and extraordinary history as never before.

1944 witnessed a series of titanic events: FDR at the pinnacle of his wartime leadership as well as his reelection, the planning of Operation Overlord with Churchill and Stalin, the unprecedented D-Day invasion, the liberation of Paris, and the horrific Battle of the Bulge, and the tumultuous conferences that finally shaped the coming peace. But on the way, millions of more lives were still at stake as President Roosevelt was exposed to mounting evidence of the most grotesque crime in history, the Final Solution. Just as the Allies were landing in Normandy, the Nazis were accelerating the killing of millions of European Jews.

Winik shows how escalating pressures fell on an all but dying Roosevelt, whose rapidly deteriorating health was a closely guarded secret. Here then, as with D-Day, was a momentous decision for the president. Was winning the war the best way to rescue the Jews? Was a rescue even possible? Or would it get in the way of defeating Hitler? In a year when even the most audacious undertakings were within the world’s reach, including the liberation of Europe, one challenge – saving Europe’s Jews – seemed to remain beyond Roosevelt’s grasp.

I recommend this book.

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The Candy House

Read: December 2022

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The Candy House: A Novel

by Jennifer Egan

The Candy House: A Novel by Jennifer Egan focuses on a new technology that allows you access to every memory you’ve ever had and to share your memories in exchange for access to the memories of others—it has seduced multitudes. According to the NYTimes, “this is minimalist maximalism. As a widow, I live in a world of memories, but I would not want them shared as they are in The Candy House. “It’s as if Egan compressed a big 19th-century novel onto a flash drive.”

Of course, I am not able to access my unconscious memories. Albeit in an amateur way, I write down some of my memories as they remind me of the power of the love that Jan and I shared. For example, the essay when I met Jan rekindles the memory and attempts to tell the story the way it happened, not how some would like it to be remembered.

The Candy House is one of the NYTimes’ top five fiction books of 2022. I have read two of them, The Furrows and Checkout 19. Initially, I was overwhelmed by the multitude of characters and was confused. By the novel’s middle, their interconnectedness helped me understand its real meaning. In the end, Egan delivers a fierce and exhilarating testament to the tenacity and transcendence of human longing for authentic connection, love, family, privacy, and redemption. As a widow, authenticity Is what I need to heal.

The Candy House is the seventieth (70) book I have read this year. 

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

It’s 2010. Staggeringly successful and brilliant tech entrepreneur Bix Bouton is desperate for a new idea. He’s forty, with four kids, and restless when he stumbles into a conversation with mostly Columbia professors, one of whom is experimenting with downloading or “externalizing” memory. Within a decade, Bix’s new technology, Own Your Unconscious—that allows you access to every memory you’ve ever had and to share every memory in exchange for access to the memories of others—has seduced multitudes. But not everyone.

In spellbinding linked narratives, Egan spins out the consequences of Own Your Unconscious through the lives of multiple characters whose paths intersect over several decades. Egan introduces these characters in an astonishing array of styles—from omniscient to first person plural to a duet of voices, an epistolary chapter, and a chapter of tweets. In the world of Egan’s spectacular imagination, there are “counters” who track and exploit desires and “eluders” who understand the price of taking a bite of the Candy House.

Intellectually dazzling and extraordinarily moving, The Candy House is a bold, brilliant imagining of a world that is moments away. With a focus on social media, gaming, and alternate worlds, you can almost experience moving among dimensions in a role-playing game.​ Egan delivers a fierce and exhilarating testament to the tenacity and transcendence of human longing for real connection, love, family, privacy, and redemption.


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Rabbit Moon

Read: April 2025

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Rabbit Moon: A Novel

by Jennifer Haigh

Today, I dove into Jennifer Haigh‘s gripping new release, Rabbit Moon. Set against the vibrant backdrop of Shanghai, this tense and riveting drama unravels the complexities of a fractured American family. It explores hidden secrets and the unbreakable bond between two sisters. Ms. Haigh, the New York Times bestselling author of Mercy Street, which I read last year, weaves a tale that promises to keep readers on the edge of their seats.

Four years after their bitter divorce, Claire and Aaron Litvak receive a phone call that no parent is prepared for: their 22-year-old daughter Lindsey, who is teaching English in China during her college gap year, has been critically injured in a hit-and-run accident. As they wait at her bedside in a Shanghai hospital, they hold onto hope for the best while preparing for the worst.

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With her trademark psychological insight, Jennifer Haigh crafts a taut and suspenseful story about the enduring ties of marriage that divorce cannot sever and the legendary red thread that connects two sisters across time and space. Ms. Haigh again demonstrates that she is, as The New York Times describes her, “an expertly nuanced storyteller…her work is gripping, real, and immersive.”


Jennifer Haigh is the author of seven best-selling, critically acclaimed works of fiction. Her first, Mrs. Kimble, won the PEN Hemingway Award for debut fiction. Her latest, Mercy Street, was named a Best Book of 2022 by the New Yorker and won the Mark Twain American Voice in Literature Award. A Guggenheim fellow and Iowa Writers’ Workshop graduate, she lives in Boston.



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The God of the Woods: A Novel

Read: July 2024

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The God of the Woods: A Novel

by Liz Moore

I started reading “The God of the Woods: A Novel” by Liz Moore today. Several reviews recommended it as a great summer read. The story is set in August 1975, the same month and year my spouse Jan and I married. Liz Moore weaves a multi-threaded story, inviting readers into a rich and gripping dynasty of secrets and second chances.

The novel begins with a camp counselor discovering an empty bunk at an Adirondack summer camp belonging to thirteen-year-old Barbara Van Laar, who has mysteriously vanished. Barbara is not just any teenager; she is the daughter of the family that owns the camp and employs many residents. What makes this disappearance even more intriguing is that Barbara’s older brother went missing similarly fourteen years ago and was never found.

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Palaver

Read: November 2025

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Palaver: A Novel

by Bryan Washington

Written with subtle humor and warmth, Bryan Washington‘s Palaver weaves together the past and present across Houston, Jamaica, and Japan. This intricate story explores themes of family, love, and the beauty of coexistence. A finalist for the National Book Award for Fiction, this novel is a life-affirming tale about family, healing, and the ways we learn to love, showcasing the talent of the award-winning Bryan Washington.

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Bryan Washington is the author of the story collection Lot and the novels Memorial and Family Meal. He is a National Book Award 5 Under 35 Honoree. He has won several prestigious awards, including the Dylan Thomas Prize, the NYPL Young Lions Fiction Award, the Ernest J. Gaines Award, two Lambda Literary Awards, and an O. Henry Prize.

Washington has also been a finalist for various awards, such as the National Book Critics Circle Award for Fiction, the Aspen Words Literary Prize, the Center for Fiction First Novel Prize, the Andrew Carnegie Medal of Excellence, and the James Tait Black Prize. The New York Times referred to his writing as among the 25 Most Influential Works of Postwar Queer Literature, and he was a columnist for the New York Times Magazine.

As a frequent contributor to The New Yorker and The New York Times, his writing has appeared in other notable publications, including Granta, The New York Times Magazine, New York, Time, GQ, and Esquire, among others. He lives in Tokyo.



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Never Let Me Go

Read: August 2024

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Never Let Me Go

by Kazuo Ishiguro

I started reading “Never Let Me Go” by Nobel Prize winner Kazuo Ishiguro today. This novel, listed among The New York Times 100 Best Books of the Century, has also received critical acclaim for its unique narrative and thought-provoking themes. Written by the acclaimed and bestselling author of “The Remains of the Day,” it’s described as “a Gothic tour de force” with an extraordinary twist—a moving, suspenseful, beautifully atmospheric modern classic.

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