Forty-Nine Years of Love’s Magic

Love, the Most Powerful Force in the World, Endures!

As I roamed our cozy apartment at 452 Lorimer Street in East Williamsburg, the memory of our wedding day rushed back to me – the stunning terrace on 86th Street and Central Park West, the Rabbi’s Penthouse, and the sun setting as we exchanged vows. I longed to hold Jan at the exact moment of sundown to celebrate our first anniversary. It may sound sentimental, but I’ve always been a sucker for memories that keep the flame of love alive, connecting us across time and space.

Since our wedding in 1975, it’s been my tradition to check the sunset time every year. Without fail, it’s always been set for 8:02 pm. Today, we’re fortunate to have weather apps that provide detailed information about celestial events, weather forecasts, and climate change, surpassing the information in newspapers. This modern technology helps me keep our memories alive.

As I mark our 49th anniversary, reminiscing about the joy we would have shared, it’s painful to think about how Lymphoma and COVID-19 have altered our lives. Today, as I strolled back from my morning walk, I found myself seeking solace in Siri’s response about the time of sunset. I realized that tonight, I would return from the Temple shortly after darkness set in. The absence of Jan’s physical presence is a constant ache in my heart, a void that can never be filled. Still, the handwritten wedding vows she left behind have become a source of profound wisdom for me during these past three years, three months, and six days of solitary living.

Love possesses incredible strength, and Jan never intended for me to remain holed up at home, afraid to embrace joy, life, and love once more. I still vividly recall Jan’s heartfelt wedding vows: “In the name of love, Richard Brown, I promise to love you, cherish you, respect you, and honor you in all the different times of our lives and as long as we both possess life.”

The impact of her words lingers in my mind like a cherished melody. Jan’s final conversation also reminded me to embrace love again. While I will always remain fond of her, I am confident my heart can love again. Although I have openly shared my ability to love anew with my readers, there remains an earnest longing within me to be embraced by love. Even if the allure of love eludes me, I am steadfast in my belief that I will experience the profound essence of love as the sun sets this evening. Love is a beacon of hope, a source of inspiration, and a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.