Wedding Bliss

Forty-Nine Years of Love’s Magic

Love, the Most Powerful Force in the World, Endures!

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 10 seconds

As I roamed our cozy apartment at 452 Lorimer Street in East Williamsburg, the memory of our wedding day rushed back to me – the stunning terrace on 86th Street and Central Park West, the Rabbi’s Penthouse, and the sun setting as we exchanged vows. I longed to hold Jan at the exact moment of sundown to celebrate our first anniversary. It may sound sentimental, but I’ve always been a sucker for memories that keep the flame of love alive, connecting us across time and space.

Jan's Wedding DressSince our wedding in 1975, it’s been my tradition to check the sunset time every year. Without fail, it’s always been set for 8:02 pm. Today, we’re fortunate to have weather apps that provide detailed information about celestial events, weather forecasts, and climate change, surpassing the information in newspapers. This modern technology helps me keep our memories alive.

As I mark our 49th anniversary, reminiscing about the joy we would have shared, it’s painful to think about how Lymphoma and COVID-19 have altered our lives. Today, as I strolled back from my morning walk, I found myself seeking solace in Siri’s response about the time of sunset. I realized that tonight, I would return from the Temple shortly after darkness set in. The absence of Jan’s physical presence is a constant ache in my heart, a void that can never be filled. Still, the handwritten wedding vows she left behind have become a source of profound wisdom for me during these past three years, three months, and six days of solitary living.

Love possesses incredible strength, and Jan never intended for me to remain holed up at home, afraid to embrace joy, life, and love once more. I still vividly recall Jan’s heartfelt wedding vows: “In the name of love, Richard Brown, I promise to love you, cherish you, respect you, and honor you in all the different times of our lives and as long as we both possess life.

The impact of her words lingers in my mind like a cherished melody. Jan’s final conversation also reminded me to embrace love again. While I will always remain fond of her, I am confident my heart can love again. Although I have openly shared my ability to love anew with my readers, there remains an earnest longing within me to be embraced by love. Even if the allure of love eludes me, I am steadfast in my belief that I will experience the profound essence of love as the sun sets this evening. Love is a beacon of hope, a source of inspiration, and a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

The Day Jan and I Married!

Our wedding day was a beautiful celebration of love and commitment, shared with our closest family and friends. The special memories we made on that day will always be kept close to our hearts, reminding us of the strong bond between Jan and me.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Wedding Bliss
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The Amen Effect

Read: March 2025

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The Amen Effect

by Sharon Brous

Sharon Brous, a prominent American rabbi, argues in The Amen Effect: Ancient Wisdom to Heal Our Hearts and Mend Our Broken World that the essential spiritual work of our time—though instinctual and often countercultural—focuses on connecting through celebration, sorrow, and solidarity. We must support one another in times of joy and pain, embracing vulnerability and possibility, nurturing relationships with shared purposes, and creating communities centered on care.

From one of our country’s most prominent rabbis comes this inspiring book about the power of community, based on one of her most impactful sermons. What will it take to mend our broken hearts and rebuild our society in a time of loneliness, isolation, social rupture, and alienation?

Brous contends that honoring our most basic human instinct—the yearning for authentic connection—is the way to reawaken our shared humanity and begin the healing process. This kind of sacred presence is captured by the word amen, a powerful ancient idea that we affirm the fullness of one another’s experience by demonstrating, in body and word: “I see you. You are not alone.”

An acclaimed preacher and storyteller, Brous pairs heart-driven anecdotes from her experience building and pastoring to a leading-edge faith community over the past two decades with ancient Jewish wisdom and contemporary science. The result is a clarion call: the sense of belonging engendered by our genuine presence is both a social and biological need, as well as a moral and spiritual necessity.

With original insights and practical tools, The Amen Effect translates foundational ideas into simple practices that connect us to our better angels, offering a blueprint for a more meaningful life and a more connected and caring world.

As she writes in the preface, after listing the joys and pains of life, weddings, births, and death,

It’s in these times that I feel the weight of the work, the privilege of being alive, the blessing of being so close to such raw beauty and pain. It’s there that I have learned the power of saying ‘Amen‘ to one another’s grief and joy, sorrow and celebration with our very presence. Of bearing witness to profound suffering and protesting injustice with our very presence. Of comforting and consoling, surviving and thriving with our very presence. What I’ve learned, during the years, is the meaning of sacred companionship. I have seen, in ways subtle and pronounced, a longing to connect with others who can help hold the pain, a need to share what we’ve learned in the trenches, and a desire to give, even when we ourselves have barely caught our breath. And I have seen how knowing that we’re not alone can both heighten our joy and help us endure unimaginable hardship.

Click here to read about my experience listening to Rabbi Brous at the Kol Tzedek Speakers Series at Temple Emanu-El in Westfield.


Sharon Brous is the senior and founding rabbi of IKAR, a leading-edge Jewish community based in Los Angeles, and the author of The Amen Effect: Ancient Wisdom to Heal Our Hearts and Mend Our Broken World, a national bestseller.

In 2013, Brous blessed President Obama and Vice President Biden at the Inaugural National Prayer Service, and in 2021, returned to bless President Biden and Vice President Harris and then led the White House Passover Seder 2021 and the Hanukkah candle lighting with the Vice President and Second Gentleman in 2023. She was ranked as the number one most influential Rabbi in America by Newsweek/The Daily Beast. She has also been recognized by The Forward and the Jerusalem Post as one of the most influential Jews alive today. Her work has appeared in prominent publications, including The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, and The Washington Post. Additionally, her TED talk, “Reclaiming Religion,” has been viewed by over 1.5 million people.

Brous is part of the inaugural cohort of Auburn Seminary’s Senior Fellows program, which brings together top faith leaders working on the frontlines for justice. She sits on the faculty of REBOOT and serves on the International Council of the New Israel Fund, as well as the national steering committee for the Poor People’s Campaign.

A Columbia University graduate (holding both undergraduate and M.A. degrees in Human Rights), she was ordained by the Jewish Theological Seminary and resides in Los Angeles with her husband and children.


 

 

 



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The Way of Integrity

Read: February 2025

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The Way of Integrity

by Martha Beck

Today, I started reading Martha Beck‘s “The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self,” a book recommended by my friend Mark. I always appreciate receiving book recommendations from friends and readers of my blog. In her self-help book, Ms. Beck asserts, “Integrity is the cure for psychological suffering. Period.” This book will be invaluable during my early period of grief. I purchased the eBook from Bookshop and plan to do so.

Bestselling author, life coach, and sociologist Martha Beck explains why “integrity”—needed now more than ever in these tumultuous times—is the key to a meaningful and joyful life. As she writes,

This book, as you may have gleaned from the title, is all about integrity. But I don’t mean this in a moralizing sense. The word integrity has taken on a slightly prim, judgmental nuance in modern English, but the word comes from the Latin integer, meaning “intact.” To be in integrity is to be one thing, whole and undivided. When a plane is in integrity, all its millions of parts work together smoothly and cooperatively. If it loses integrity, it may stall, falter, or crash. There’s no judgment here. Just physics.

In The Way of Integrity, Beck presents a four-stage process that anyone can use to find integrity, a sense of purpose, emotional healing, and a life free of mental suffering. Many issues, such as people-pleasing, staying in stale relationships, and maintaining unhealthy habits, arise from a disconnection from what truly makes us feel complete.

Inspired by The Divine Comedy, Beck uses Dante’s classic hero’s journey as a framework to break down the process of attaining personal integrity into small, manageable steps. She shows how to read the internal signals that lead us toward our true path and recognize what we yearn for versus what our culture sells us.

With techniques tested on hundreds of her clients, Beck brings her expertise as a social scientist, life coach, and human being to help readers uncover what integrity looks like in their lives. She takes us on a spiritual adventure that will change the direction of our lives and bring us to a place of genuine happiness.

Other books I have read with a similar theme, which I also recommend, include Man’s Search for Meaning, Climbing the Second Mountain, and The Pursuit of Happiness.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Keepers of the House

Read: May 2021

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The Keepers of the House

by Shirley Ann Grau

The Keepers of the House by Shirley Ann Grau is a book that I read a portion of for a college class, but for reasons that I cannot now remember never got around to reading it from cover to cover. In the early stages of grief, I found a copy in our bookshelf and said, let me read it now. It was a decision that I did not regret.

Having grown up in the American South, the book resonated with me, as did the sections I read fifty years ago. It’s a many-layered indictment of racism and rage that is as terrifying as it is wise.

As someone who likes history and values the importance of place, the book’s focus on the continued ownership of the same land since the early 1800s by the Howland’s provided a broad historical perspective. Abigail Howland has learned many important family legacies, but not all.

However, when William’s, her grandfather, relationship with Margaret Carmichael, a black housekeeper, is revealed to the community, the racism and fury boil over. Abigail chooses to get even with the town her family built by punishing them.

The Keepers of the House is a book that I wish I had read in its entirety half a century ago. Having read it now, I recommend it to all who care about life and community.

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Grand Rapids: A Novel

Read: January 2026

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Grand Rapids: A Novel

by Natasha Stagg

Natasha Stagg‘s “Grand Rapids” is a coming-of-age story set in the Michigan suburbs in the early 2000s. Alexander Calder’s public sculpture, “La Grande Vitesse”, installed alongside the Grand River in downtown Grand Rapids, has become a symbol of the city. Tess moved there from Ypsilanti, Michigan, in 2001—the same year her mother passed away, marking the beginning of a time when everything felt like it was moving in slow motion for her.

Thrust into adolescence nearly rudderless, fifteen-year-old Tess is intoxicated, angsty, and sexually awake. A decade later, inspired by diary entries and TV reruns, she remembers this summer in the suburbs as the one that redefined her. Its echoes of death are frozen in time, like the waves represented in Calder’s sculpture or the concrete steps leading down to the churning river. She sees Grand Rapids as a collection of architecture and emblems, another home to which she cannot return.


Natasha Stagg is the author of Surveys: A Novel (2016), Sleeveless: Fashion, Image, Media, New York 2011–2019 (2019), and Artless: Stories 2019–2023 (2023). She lives in New York City.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Compound

Read: July 2025

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The Compound: A Novel

by Aisling Rawle

Addictive and prescient, The Compound by Aisling Rawle, is an explosive debut from a prominent new voice in fiction. This gripping novel, set in a remote desert compound, will linger in your mind long after the game ends. It’s a story of survival, competition, and the human spirit, making it a must-read for any fiction enthusiast. Lily—a bored, beautiful twenty-something—wakes up on The Compound, alongside nineteen other contestants competing on a massively popular reality show.

For Lily to emerge victorious, she must outlast her housemates and stay in The Compound the longest. Her journey is filled with challenges, from competing for luxury rewards like champagne and lipstick to securing communal necessities for their new home, including food, appliances, and even a front door.


Aisling Rawle was born in 1998 and raised in County Leitrim in the West of Ireland. She now lives in Dublin. The Compound is her first book.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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One of Us

Read: March 2026

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One of Us: A Novel

by Elizabeth Day

One of Us,” written by Elizabeth Day, delivers sharp commentary on the hypocrisies of the elite. This engaging ensemble drama explores the dynamics among old friends entangled in dazzling wealth, highlighting the delicate balance between personal ambition and collective responsibility. With its gripping narrative and insightful themes, “One of Us” is a page-turner that combines elements of “The Wedding People” and “Succession.” It’s darkly comic and incisive, yet it also carries an unexpected sense of hope.

When Fliss, the eccentric adult daughter of the powerful Fitzmaurice clan, is found dead on a beach in Bali, what appears to be a tragic accident raises more suspicions than it resolves for those who have long engaged in a web of favors within her family.

Ben, Fliss’s brother, is eager to downplay his sister’s death, as it becomes evident he is the next in line to become Prime Minister. Meanwhile, Martin—Ben’s former best friend—sees Fliss’s memorial as an opportunity to reinsert himself into the Fitzmaurice circle, motivated by a desire for both revenge and acceptance. He also observes that Ben’s wife, Serena, has come to realize in middle age that her privileged life resembles more of a gilded cage. Additionally, Ben and Serena’s daughter, Cosima, has become an environmental activist, opposing everything her parents represent—a change her late aunt would have wholeheartedly supported.

Richard Take, Ben’s disgraced colleague who is determined to make a comeback, adds another layer of complexity to the situation. Lastly, Andrew Jarvis, a figure entwined with the family, raises questions about his role: has he been their loyal supporter, or has he manipulated his influence to keep them all in line?


Elizabeth Day is the author of “The Party” “The Vaster Wilds“, and several other books, and one of the most influential podcasters today. Her show, “How to Fail“, has become a major success, helping authors like Meg Mason and Glennon Doyle reach the UK bestseller list. She splits her time between London and Los Angeles.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Supporting these selections not only helps me continue providing you with personalized recommendations but also ensures you get access to meaningful stories that enrich your life. Your support truly makes a difference in helping me share more books and insights with you!


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