Richard W. shared a stream on March 1, 2023
Filing Status Single?

Filing Status Single?

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 47 seconds

“I am preparing my taxes this month. After I file, we should discuss next year and how to manage my charity donations.”

My financial planner nodded as she took a moment longer than I expected to respond.

“Richard, that sounds good. Are you filing as widowed again this year?”

“No, TurboTax recommended my only option was to file as single. They asked when Jan died, but single was the only option.”

We discussed how the IRS allowed widows two years to file with that status.

I said I would double-check with TurborTax, and she responded, “I will check with our tax experts.”

Today, I filed my federal and state returns as a single person.

In an age of gender fluidity, it seems odd that someone like me, who still believes he is married, has to file as single.

For the record, I am not asking for an extra deduction, albeit I am sure many widows could be crucial to their financial health.

Checking the filing status box as a single person in the second year after Jan died is like having a heavy door slammed in your face.

Medical visits are also awkward when they ask me to update my records.

But filing taxes as a single person for the first time since 1974, the year before Jan and I married, was a harsh reminder of widowhood in the second year.

Has my life been so drained by Jan’s death that I am now only a checkbox on a form?

No, I am more than a widow; I am a husband, father, grandfather, advocate, good neighbor, friend, and Jew, among many attributes that define me.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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We Are All the Same in the Dark

Being a Widow Does Not Define Me

One of the nine books I have read this year was We Are All the Same in the Dark by Julia Heaberlin.

The novel is one I highly recommend and wish I had read earlier. The title summarizes the reality of all humans, that in the dark we are all the same.

In this twisty psychological thriller, Julia Heaberlin paints two unforgettable portraits of a woman and a girl who redefines perceptions of physical beauty and strength. Her novel has helped me redefine my grief.

Disabilities do not define us, just as being a widow does not define who I am.

Richard W. Brown January 31, 2023

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The Fire and the Ore

Read: September 2022

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The Fire and the Ore

by Olivia Hawker

The Fire and the Ore by Olivia Hawker is a novel set in 1856 when three women—once strangers—come together in unpredictable Utah Territory. Hopeful, desperate, and willful, they’ll allow nothing on earth or Heaven to stand in their way. I have always enjoyed the history of the movement of people across the plains. Tamar, Jane, and Tabitha, along with their shared husband, Thomas Ricks, were real people, and Olivia Hawker compellingly describes them as people living in difficult times.

Olivia Hawker is a descendant of Jane and a former Mormon. She writes eloquently about the unnecessary Utah War (AKA Buchanan’s Blunder) and how the sister-wives grow to love and support each other. Tamar’s sister Patience, although a minor character, wrote a memoir of the time that the author used as a resource.

Reading a compelling historical fiction novel about family, sisterhood, and survival about three women like Jan was an easy choice. It was a page-turner from the first page to the last.

The Washington Post bestselling author of One for the Blackbird, One for the Crow is a compelling novel of family, sisterhood, and survival.

The Goodreads summary provides a good overview,

Following the call of their newfound Mormon faith, Tamar Loader and her family weather a brutal pilgrimage from England to Utah, where Tamar is united with her destined husband, Thomas Ricks. Clinging to a promise for the future, she abides a surprise: Thomas is already wedded to one woman—Tabitha, a local healer—and betrothed to another.

Orphaned by tragedy and stranded in the Salt Lake Valley, Jane Shupe struggles to provide for herself and her younger sister. Out of necessity, with no love lost, she too must bear the trials of a sister-wife. She is no member of the Mormon migration, yet Jane agrees to marry Thomas.

But when the US Army’s invasion brings the rebellious Mormon community to heel, Tamar, Jane, and Tabitha are forced to retreat into the hostile desert wilderness with little in common but the same man—and the resolve to keep themselves and their children alive. What they discover, as one, is redemption, a new definition of family, and a bond stronger than matrimony that is tested like never before.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Three Summers

Read: February 2025

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Three Summers: A Novel

by Margarita Liberaki

Today, I began reading Margarita Liberaki‘s Three Summers, translated by Karen Van Dyck. This edition features a detailed introduction by Ms. Van Dyck, in which she shares her experiences meeting Ms. Liberaki and collaborating with her on the translation. The original novel, written in Greek, was titled The Straw Hats, but Ms. Van Dyck felt that this title would not resonate with foreign readers similarly.

Three Summers is the story of three sisters who grew up in the countryside near Athens before the outbreak of the Second World War. The sisters live in a large, old house surrounded by a beautiful garden. The oldest sister, Maria, is adventurous and eager to settle down and start her own family. The middle sister, Infanta, is gorgeous but emotionally distant. Katerina, the narrator, and the youngest sister is dreamy and rebellious.

Throughout three summers, the sisters share and keep secrets, fall in and out of love, and try to understand their parents and other adult figures. They also observe the peculiar behaviors of friends and neighbors while worrying about and discovering their identities. Karen Van Dyck’s translation beautifully captures the light and warmth of this modern Greek classic.

Margarita Liberaki (1919-2001) was born in Athens and raised by her grandparents, who owned the Fexis bookstore and publishing house. In addition to her novel Three Summers, she authored The Other Alexander (1950) and The Mystery (1976). She also wrote several plays, including Candaules’ Wife (1955) and The Danaïds (1956), part of a cycle she called Mythical Theater. Furthermore, she contributed screenplays, such as Jules Dassin’s Phaedra (1962) and Diaspora (1999), which focused on Greek intellectuals in exile in Paris during the junta. Her novel Three Summers is now a standard part of public education in Greece and Cyprus and was adapted into a television miniseries in 1995.

Karen Van Dyck is the Kimon A. Doukas Professor of Modern Greek Literature at Columbia University. Her research focuses on modern Greek literature, diaspora literature, gender studies, and translation. She has edited or co-edited several poetry anthologies, including A Century of Greek Poetry (2004), The Greek Poets: Homer to the Present (2010), and Austerity Measures: The New Greek Poetry (2017) for NYRB Poets. Additionally, her translations have appeared in Brooklyn Rail, Asymptote, and The Baffler.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

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Stony The Road

Read: October 2019

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Stony the Road

by Henry Louis Gates Jr

Stony the Road: Reconstruction, White Supremacy, and the Rise of Jim Crow by Henry Louis Gates Jr. is a must-read book, especially with white nationalism on the rise.

I read this book when Jan began her chemotherapy. Although the book’s subject – the retreat from reconstruction – was one I studied in college, at times, I found it hard to focus on the material and my wife’s health at the same time. I stayed on the stony road as it is a subject we need to understand if we are going to correct the past failures.

As The New York Times wrote,

Henry Louis Gates Jr.’s “Stony the Road: Reconstruction, White Supremacy, and the Rise of Jim Crow,” an indispensable guide to the making of our times, addresses 2017’s mystifications. The book sets the Obama era beside Reconstruction and the Trump era beside the white supremacist terrorism of Redemption, the period beginning in 1877 during which Reconstruction’s nascent, biracial democracy was largely dismantled. Gates juxtaposes the optimism of Reconstruction, the despair of Redemption, and the promise of the New Negro movement — the effort by black Americans, starting around the turn of the 20th century, to craft a counternarrative to white supremacy. In doing so, “Stony the Road” presents a bracing alternative to Trump-era white nationalism.

Growing up in the Jim Crow south, I was well aware of white nationalism. This book is an essential read if we are going to make America a multi-racial democracy.

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The Slip

Read: December 2025

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The Slip: A Novel

by Lucas Schaefer

“The Slip” is the debut novel by Lucas Schaefer, telling a compelling American story about a missing teenage boy, themes of fluid and mistaken identity, and the transformative power of boxing. Navigating the ever-changing landscape of a shifting country, “The Slip” offers an audacious and daring exploration of sex and race in America. The narrative builds to an unforgettable climax in the center of the ring.

This novel is the winner of the Kirkus Prize for 2025  and one of The New York Times Book Review’s 100 Notable Books of 2025, as well as one of The Washington Post’s 10 Best Books of 2025.

Austin, Texas: It’s the summer of 1998, and there’s a new face on the scene at Terry Tucker’s Boxing Gym. Sixteen-year-old Nathaniel Rothstein has never felt comfortable in his own skin, but under the tutelage of a swaggering, Haitian-born ex-fighter named David Dalice, he begins to come into his own. Even the boy’s slightly stoned uncle, Bob Alexander, who is supposed to be watching him for the summer, notices the change. Nathaniel is happier, more confident, and even tanner. Then one night, he vanishes, leaving little trace behind.

Across the city, Charles Rex, now going simply by “X,” has been undergoing a teenage transformation of his own, trolling the phone sex hotline that his mother works, seeking an outlet for everything that feels wrong about his body, looking for intimacy and acceptance in a culture that denies him both. As a surprising and unlikely romance blooms, X feels, for a moment, like he might have found the safety he’s been searching for. But it’s never that simple.

More than a decade later, Nathaniel’s uncle Bob receives a shocking tip, propelling him to open his own investigation into his nephew’s disappearance. The resulting search involves gymgoers past and present, including a down-on-his-luck twin and his opportunistic brother; a rookie cop determined to prove herself; and Alexis Cepeda, a promising lightweight who crossed the US-Mexico border when he was only fourteen, carrying a license bearing the wrong name and face.

Lucas Schaefer lives with his family in Austin. The Slip is his first novel.

Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!

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There Is No Place for Us

Read: April 2025

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There Is No Place for Us

by Brian Goldstone

Today, I delved into There Is No Place for Us by Brian Goldstone, a poignant exploration of America’s escalating homelessness crisis. Goldstone’s examination of the issue’s scale, root causes, and consequences is a wake-up call, passionately arguing that housing must be recognized as a fundamental human right. His compelling narrative demands our immediate attention and action.

The phrase “the working homeless” serves as a stark reminder of the urgency of America’s homelessness crisis. In a country where hard work and determination are expected to lead to success, it is scandalous that individuals with full-time jobs struggle to maintain stable housing. Rising rents, low wages, and insufficient tenant rights have contributed to this alarming trend. Families are facing homelessness not due to a failing economy but because of a thriving one.

In his compelling and thoroughly researched book, Brian Goldstone explores the lives of five families in Atlanta. Maurice and Natalia attempt to rebuild their lives in the country’s “Black Mecca” after being priced out of Washington, D.C. Kara aspires to become an entrepreneur while working at a public hospital. Britt has secured a much-coveted housing voucher. Michelle is studying to become a social worker. Celeste works tirelessly at her warehouse job while battling ovarian cancer. Each of these individuals strives to provide a decent life for their children. Yet, one by one, they find themselves among the nation’s working homeless, demonstrating their resilience and the system’s failures.

Through intimate, novelistic portrayals, Goldstone exposes the human cost of this crisis, following parents and their children as they sleep in cars or squalid extended-stay hotel rooms, then head to their jobs and schools the next day. These are the nation’s hidden homeless—people often omitted from official statistics—showing that overflowing shelters and street encampments represent only the most visible aspects of a much larger problem.

Brian Goldstone is a journalist whose long-form reporting and essays have appeared in The New York Times, Harper’s Magazine, The New Republic, The California Sunday Magazine, and Jacobin, among other publications. He has a PhD in anthropology from Duke University and was a Mellon Research Fellow at Columbia University. In 2021, he was a National Fellow at New America. He lives in Atlanta with his family.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!

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Other People's Fun

Read: November 2025

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Other People’s Fun

by Harriet Lane

“Other People’s Fun” by Harriet Lane is an engaging, thought-provoking novel that explores modern life, including the small lies we tell our neighbors, friends, families, and even ourselves, as well as the distorted reality of social media. Known for her signature blend of creeping unease and keen observation, Lane’s page-turner delves into our deep desire for others to truly see us as we are—and the consequences that arise when that happens.

“I look. I can’t stop looking. That’s the deal, isn’t it? We all know that’s how it works. If someone wants to be seen–and oh, how they want to be seen–then someone has to watch.”

Ruth is alone, unnoticed, and at a loss: her marriage has ended, her daughter is leaving home, and her job is leading nowhere.

But luckily, Sookie is back in her life, the vivid, self-assured Sookie who never spared time for Ruth when they were teenagers, but who now seems to want to be friends. But as Ruth becomes entangled in Sookie’s life, she realizes that everything is not as Instagrammable as Sookie would have her believe. As the truth about Sookie becomes clearer, so too does the choice Ruth will have to make.

Harriet Lane has experience as an editor and staff writer for Tatler and the Observer. She has contributed articles to The Guardian, Vogue, and The New York Times. Additionally, she is the author of two novels, Alys, Always, and Her. Lane resides in North London.

Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!

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