Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

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Gratitude to Family and Friends

Gratitude to Family and Friends

JanA year ago today, we buried Jan, the love of my life. Even though she is still with me in spirit, it isn’t easy to believe it has been a year.

We had a steady drizzle that turned the ground into mud.

NJ had relaxed COVID restrictions at the end of April, allowing only twelve people to attend a graveside funeral.

We had almost one hundred attend.

I remember trying to thank everyone who came that day. I knew they were in mourning as well. I wanted them to know our family appreciated their support and understood their grief.

Richard W. Brown speaks about grief, sharing Jan’s love, and how Hanson Park became the site of Jan’s Memorial Garden.


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Cynthia and Susan Sitting on Jan's Bench

Jan Was the Wind Beneath My Wings

Jan Lilien Education Fund

Photo courtesy of Neeru and Asish Patel.

One of the most poignant moments during Celebrate Jan Day was when Cynthia Manno sang “Wind Beneath My Wings.”

Not only is Cynthia an accomplished vocalist, but she is someone Jan enjoyed listening to her voice.

We had heard her on many occasions but most often at the Salem Roadhouse Cafe.

Jan was and always will be my hero. All I ever needed was her love, which will never die!

Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Cynthia Manno sings “Wind Beneath my Wings” by Bette Midler at Celebrate Jan Day.


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Tables at Celebrate Jan Day

A Year Without Jan is a Strange Year

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

It has been a year since the love of my life died. This morning, I got up and walked as if it was just another day.

But it is not just another day. It is one more day without Jan and one filled with questions.

Have I done enough to honor her?

Have I done enough to share her love?

Have I grown enough so that my grief is a minor part of me?

What would Jan do?

Although the questions are unanswerable today, I know one self-evident truth.

Our love will never die; it will grow stronger every day!

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Shovels

New Page: Celebrate Jan Day Photos

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

Celebrate Jan Day on April 24, 2022, was a success. One hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to celebrate her life. We dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.

Thanks to Neeru and Asish Patel, longtime friends, we have ninety-six photos of Celebrate Jan Day. If you use them, please credit them as the photographers. Click here to view video clips from Celebrate Jan Day.

If you share on social media with the links on this page, please use these hashtags.

  • #sharingjanslove
  • #janlilien
  • #loverneverdies

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When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Celebrate Jan Day Photos

Over One Hundred Celebrate Jan’s Life We are working with Hanson Park and Carolle Huber Landscape Architecture to develop a creative reimagination of the Hanson Park Triangle. Click here for a PDF of the design. These ninety-six photos are courtesy of Neeru and Asish Patel. If you use them, please credit them as photographers. Click here […]
Jan and Richard Lovers Forever

Jan’s Birthday Playlist is Joyful

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

Jan’s Birthday Playlist was one she curated for her sixtieth birthday. The music was perfect for that birthday and every day. We played this music in Hanson Park on Celebrate Jan Day, and I share it with anyone who loves Jan and music. Jan listened to each song twice before selecting it for this playlist. She did not include many because they needed to meet her criteria.

Jan wanted the music to reflect her passion for life and her love for her family.

 

Enjoy and share Jan’s love.

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Celebrate Jan Day

On Sunday, April 24, 2022, in Hanson Park in Cranford, NJ, one hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to Celebrate Jan's life as we dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.
Soaring Spirits at Celebrate Jan Day

Jan and the Righteous Thirty-Six

Jan Lilien

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

At Celebrate Jan Day, Rabbi Dr. Renee Edelman spoke about the thirty-six righteous people. Jan, according to the Rabbi, was one of the thirty-six.

“Jan was one of those who did the most to help other people,” said Rabbi Renee. She highlighted Jan’s spark and smiles that invited people to join in conversations.

“Her soul will always be with those who knew her and were loved by Jan,” said Rabbi Renee.

I will forever be grateful to Rabbi Renee for her love, friendship, and spiritual guidance.

The Rabbi’s video is one of twelve video clips from Celebrate Jan Day.

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New Page: Videos from Celebrate Jan Day!

Thanks to Cranford’s TV35, a local access television channel, the event was live-streamed and can now be viewed on YouTube. We now have videos of the individual presentations. Enjoy, and please share!

This video is Cynthia Manno singing “Wind Beneath my Wings” by Bette Midler at Celebrate Jan Day.

Celebrate Jan Day on April 24, 2022, was a success. One hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to celebrate her life as we dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.

If you share on social media with the links on this page, please use these hashtags.

  • #sharingjanslove
  • #janlilien
  • #loverneverdies

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Celebrate Jan Day Videos

Over One Hundred Celebrate Jan’s Life We are working with Hanson Park and Carolle Huber Landscape Architecture to develop a creative reimagination of the Hanson Park Triangle. Click here for a PDF of the design. Thanks to Cranford’s TV35, a local access television channel, the event was live-streamed and can now be viewed on YouTube. […]

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Gratitude to Family and Friends
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Cynthia and Susan Sitting on Jan's Bench
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Tables at Celebrate Jan Day
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Shovels
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Jan and Richard Lovers Forever
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Soaring Spirits at Celebrate Jan Day
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The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

Read: May 2019

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The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

by David Brooks

The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks is a book I often recommend. Mr. Brooks writes about the first mountain that most people climb. The book challenges the reader to “live for a cause greater than themselves.”

It is about “to be a success, make your mark, experience personal happiness.” Even when they reach the top of the mountain, most people find they are unhappy. The climb to the summit has become unsatisfying.

On the second mountain, life moves from self-centered to other-centered.” Life becomes interdependent, not independent; it becomes a life of commitment, not about us.

Mr. Brooks “explores the four commitments that define a life of meaning and purpose: to a spouse and family, to a vocation, to a philosophy or faith, and to a community.

We live in a society, Brooks argues, that celebrates freedom, that tells us to be true to ourselves, at the expense of surrendering to a cause, rooting ourselves in a neighborhood, binding ourselves to others by social solidarity and love. We have taken individualism to the extreme—and in the process we have torn the social fabric in a thousand different ways.

When I read The Second Mountain, it became clear that Jan and I never even attempted to climb the first mountain. We were constantly climbing the second mountain.

We had chosen to do work that repaired the world; we both had a faith community and lived in a community.

All we were missing as far as commitments when we met was each other. Our love for each other provided the missing link and allowed us to climb to the top of the second mountain.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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All the Sinners Bleed- A Novel

Read: June 2023

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All the Sinners Bleed: A Novel

by S. A. Cosby

Today, I delved into the gripping pages of “All the Sinners Bleed” by S. A. Cosby. This enthralling novel centers around Titus Crown, the first African American sheriff in Charon County, Virginia. Despite the county’s reputation for traditional customs such as moonshine, cornbread, and honeysuckle, Titus, with his FBI expertise, knows that the peace won’t last forever.

On the first anniversary of Titus’s election, a schoolteacher is murdered by an ex-student, and Titus’s deputies take down the perpetrator. As Titus delves deeper into the case, he uncovers a web of horrendous crimes and finds a serial killer lurking in plain sight, haunting Charon’s dirt roads and woodland clearings.

Titus is determined to solve the case, despite its connection to a nearby church, and he harbors a personal secret that haunts him. However, he faces opposition from a far-right group that wants to hold a parade to honor the town’s Confederate past while he tries to solve the issue.

Despite the challenges, Titus remains resolute in his love for Charon and his commitment to finding justice. The collision of religion and hatred cannot deter him from his duty.


S. A. Cosby is a New York Times bestselling writer from southeastern Virginia. He is the author of All the Sinners Bleed, which was on more than forty Best of the Year lists, including Barack Obama’s, as well as Edgar Award finalist Razorblade Tears and Los Angeles Times Book Prize winner Blacktop Wasteland. He has also won the Anthony Award, ITW Thriller Award, Barry Award, Macavity Award, BCALA Award, and Audie Award. He has been longlisted for the ALA Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence.



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Fourteen Days: A Collaborative Novel

Read: February 2024

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Fourteen Days: A Collaborative Novel

by Authors Guild

I started reading Fourteen Days: A Collaborative Novel today. It is set in a Lower East Side tenement during the early days of the COVID-19 lockdowns. Fourteen Days is a unique collaborative novel from the Authors Guild with a twist. A different, prominent literary voice has secretly written each character in this diverse cast of New York neighbors. These voices range from Margaret Atwood and Celeste Ng to Tommy Orange and John Grisham.

The novel’s story begins one week into the COVID-19 shutdown, where tenants of a Lower East Side apartment building in Manhattan have gathered on the rooftop to tell stories. As the nights pass, more and more neighbors join in, bringing chairs, milk crates, and overturned pails. Gradually, the tenants, some of whom have barely spoken to each other, become neighbors.

In this Decameron-like serial novel, general editors Margaret Atwood and Douglas Preston and a star-studded list of contributors create a beautiful ode to those trapped when the pandemic hit. Fourteen Days is a dazzling, heartwarming, and ultimately surprising narrative that reveals how some communities managed to become stronger despite the loss and suffering brought about by the pandemic.

Includes writing from: Charlie Jane Anders, Margaret Atwood, Joseph Cassara, Jennine Capó Crucet, Angie Cruz, Pat Cummings, Sylvia Day, Emma Donoghue, Dave Eggers, Diana Gabaldon, Tess Gerritsen, John Grisham, Maria Hinojosa, Mira Jacob, Erica Jong, CJ Lyons, Celeste Ng, Tommy Orange, Mary Pope Osborne, Douglas Preston, Alice Randall, Ishmael Reed, Roxana Robinson, Nelly Rosario, James Shapiro, Hampton Sides, R.L. Stine, Nafissa Thompson-Spires, Monique Truong, Scott Turow, Luis Alberto Urrea, Rachel Vail, Weike Wang, Caroline Randall Williams, De’Shawn Charles Winslow, and Meg Wolitzer!

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How the Word is Passed

Read: December 2021

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How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America

by Clint Smith

How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America by Clint Smith. This book was a gift from my son Jon. The New York Times selected How the Word is Passed as one of the best books published this year. Beginning in his hometown of New Orleans, Clint Smith leads the reader on an unforgettable tour of monuments and landmarks—those that are honest about the past and those that are not—that offer an intergenerational story of how slavery has been central in shaping our nation’s collective history, and ourselves.

How the Word is Passed is one of the best books I have read in 2021. I had read an excerpt in The Atlantic on the Whitney Plantation, one of the only former plantations devoted to preserving the experience of the enslaved people whose lives and work sustained it. Like most of us, I had placed the book on my to-read list, where it remained lost in the cobwebs. Fortunately, my son Jon purchased the book for me.

Secondly, the book rekindled my long-lost dream of being an American Studies professor. As soon as Jan and I met, I dropped plans to leave Brooklyn and start graduate school in the fall of 1974. I made that decision primarily because of how much I loved Jan. But it was also partly that I did not have a clear vision of what my life would be like as a professor. The book provided clear examples of people like Yvonne Holden at The Whitney Plantation redefining history to be more accurate and inclusive. I probably could not have done as well as she did, but I can now see that it might have resulted in a career for me that could have been impactful.

Goodreads provides this overview for those who still need to be convinced to read this book.

It is the story of the Monticello Plantation in Virginia, the estate where Thomas Jefferson wrote letters espousing the urgent need for liberty while enslaving over 400 people on the premises. It is the story of the Whitney Plantation, one of the only former plantations devoted to preserving the experience of the enslaved people whose lives and work sustained it. It is the story of Angola Prison in Louisiana, a former plantation named for the country from which most of its enslaved people arrived and which has since become one of the most gruesome maximum-security prisons in the world. And it is the story of Blandford Cemetery, the final resting place of tens of thousands of Confederate soldiers.

In a deeply researched and transporting exploration of the legacy of slavery and its imprint on centuries of American history, How the Word Is Passed illustrates how some of our country’s most essential stories are hidden in plain view-whether in places we might drive by on our way to work, holidays such as Juneteenth, or entire neighborhoods—like downtown Manhattan—on which the brutal history of the trade in enslaved men, women and children has been deeply imprinted.

Informed by scholarship and brought alive by the story of people living today, Clint Smith’s debut work of nonfiction is a landmark work of reflection and insight that offers a new understanding of the hopeful role that memory and history can play in understanding our country.

How the Word is Passed is one of the best books I have read this year and many prior ones. I encourage you to read it and share your comments.

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The White Hot

Read: November 2025

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The White Hot: A Novel

by Quiara Alegría Hudes

“The White Hot” by Quiara Alegría Hudes is a letter from a mother to her daughter, reflecting on a moment of abandonment that stretches from ten days to ten years. It offers an explanation rather than an apology. Hudes tells April’s story—spiritual and sensual, fierce and humorous—using delicate lyricism and tough love. Through this narrative, Hudes transforms April’s struggle for self-discovery into an unforgettable short epic.

April is a young mother raising her daughter in a multigenerational home filled with unspoken secrets and loud arguments. Her only refuge is the locked bathroom, where she plugs her ears into an ambient soundscape and repeats a mantra: “dead inside.” This continues until one day, as she feels herself spiraling toward the volcanic rage she calls “the white hot,” an inner voice tells her to simply walk away.

She goes to a bus station and asks for a one-way ticket to the furthest destination. This ticket takes her from her Philadelphia home to the threshold of a wilderness, marking the start of a nameless quest—an accidental journey that awakens her, nearly kills her, and leads her to an impossible choice.

As April discovers the key to freeing herself and her family from a cycle of generational trauma through her painful and absurd journey,


Quiara Alegría Hudes is a Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright known for her plays “Water by the Spoonful” and “In the Heights,” the latter of which won the Tony Award for Best Musical. She also adapted this musical for the screen.

Her memoir, “My Broken Language,” was longlisted for the Andrew Carnegie Medal. Hudes has written essays published in prominent outlets, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Cut, The Nation, and American Theater Magazine. Additionally, she co-founded the prison writing program Emancipated Stories with her cousin Sean.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Flesh

Read: May 2025

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Flesh: A Novel

by David Szalay

David Szalay, a finalist for the Booker Prize, has written a gripping and mesmerizing novel, Flesh, which follows a man whose life is turned upside down by events beyond his control. Concise and thought-provoking, Flesh delves into the subtle yet lasting effects of unresolved trauma amid the instability and violence of an increasingly globalized Europe. The novel offers sharp insights, unwavering emotional depth, and a remarkable portrayal of humanity.

Teenaged István lives with his mother in a quiet apartment complex in Hungary. Shy and new to the area, he struggles to engage with the social rituals of his classmates and soon becomes isolated. His only companion is his neighbor, a married woman of a similar age to his mother, whom he begrudgingly assists with errands. As their periodic encounters evolve into a clandestine relationship that István can barely comprehend, his life spirals out of control, culminating in a violent accident that results in a man’s death.

A tumultuous journey unfolds as István emigrates from Hungary to London, navigating a series of jobs before securing steady employment as a driver for London’s affluent elite. At each stage, his life is influenced by the goodwill or self-interest of strangers. Throughout it all, István remains a calm, detached observer of his existence. Through his perspective, we experience a tragic twist on the immigrant “success story,” lit by moments of sensitivity, softness, and Szalay’s keen observations.

Fast-paced and immersive, Flesh reveals István’s life through intimate moments with lovers, employers, and family members, charting his experiences over several decades. As the story unfolds, the tension between what is seen and unseen, and what can and cannot be expressed, intensifies until, ultimately, a sudden tragedy jeopardizes István’s life yet again.


David Szalay is the author of Turbulence, London and the South-East, and All That Man Is. He has been awarded the Gordon Burn Prize and the Paris Review Plimpton Prize for Fiction, and has been shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize. Born in Canada, he grew up in London and now lives in Vienna. His most recent novel is Flesh.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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