Embracing Life After Loss!

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 16 seconds

After 1,000 Days of Walking Solo, I Have Crossed Into The Future!

Over a thousand days, I have walked daily since I laid my wife to rest. It’s hard to believe, but if I had a penny for each day I walked, I would have $10, which would not even pay for the multiple walking shoes I purchase every six months. It all started on May 6, 2021, after the funeral. I remember waking up that morning with a profound sense of loss and no idea what to do with myself. Then, I saw my walking shoes on the walk-in closet floor.

Without a second thought, I put on my sweats and boots and stepped out of Apartment 3D. The soles of my shoes were like Swiss cheese, and I could feel the dampness and hard ground with every step. Initially, I thought I would walk only when I felt up to it, but slowly, it became a morning routine.

Even walking in snow, ice, and rain didn’t deter me. I remember waking up on the bathroom floor once, but every walk after that became more manageable. It’s been a daily ritual for me now, and it’s helped me cope with the loss of my wife.

As I look back on my journey of grief, I realize that it has not been an easy one. However, grief has been a great teacher and taught me things I never thought I would learn. Before my loss, I thought I understood the purpose of ears, arms, and feet – to listen, embrace, and move forward. However, it was only after I lost my loved one that I realized the true meaning behind these actions.

Throughout my life, I have always considered myself a good listener. Still, when I experienced the sounds of silence and the beauty of nature, I truly appreciated the power of listening. I found solace in the stillness and peace of the world around me, which helped me process my thoughts and emotions.

While I appreciate the support of my family and friends, I have only ever experienced the feeling of embracing my wife. Since her passing, I have focused on embracing the unknown future with each step I take. It is not always easy, but I have learned to walk confidently into the future, knowing that I am not alone in my journey of grief.

One particular reading during Friday night services has been very helpful in guiding me.

THIS IS AN HOUR of Change.
Within it we stand uncertain on the border of light.
Shall we draw back or cross over?
Where shall our hearts turn?
Shall we draw back, my brother, my sister, or cross over?

Baruch atah, Adonai, hamaariv aravim.
Day 1000 Walking Statistics

Reflecting on my journey, I realize I have chosen to embrace life and all its mysteries, even though I do not know what lies ahead. My commitment to living life to the fullest is reflected in my daily walking habit, which has led me to travel more than 8,000 miles, according to my trusty Apple Watch.

Despite the uncertainty of tomorrow, I remain steadfast in my resolve to keep moving forward. The future is like a beacon, shining brightly and beckoning me to choose life and all it offers.

Love is a mighty and enduring force that empowers us to overcome life’s adversities. It possesses the power to transform us forever and is capable of staying with us long after our loved ones have gone. Jan’s love transformed me entirely fifty years ago, and though she may no longer be with me, her spirit remains by my side every step of the way, reminding me that love is eternal and transcends all boundaries of time and space.


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15 comments add your comment

  1. Richard, such encouragement and inspiration in your writings and posts. May you continue to find the strength to write and share with others. Warm regards,

    • Diana, I am grateful for your kind words. My words come from deep within me as a reminder that love never dies. Even when faced with loss, we must choose to live life to the fullest. Although my heart still aches for my beloved wife, I decide to wake up each day with enthusiasm for the new opportunities it brings. I take time to appreciate the beauty of nature and listen to my heart, growing stronger and more resilient with each passing day. This journey has taught me that even in the darkest times, there is always light to find.

  2. Hello Richard:

    Walking is the best exercise to keep your brain and body healthy. The best part is that it has helped you to overcome your grieving. People should follow your steps. It may be time to write a book about grieving guidance.

    • Thanks, Hugo. Walking has helped me find peace and tranquility and allowed me to contemplate life, love, and the grieving process. When I tell people about my walks, they often ask me what I listen to. While I do listen to nature, I also listen to my soul. By paying attention to the innermost essence of my being, I can walk farther than my old body should allow. This practice also helps me clear my mind and envision a future.

      Some readers have focused on the number of days and miles as if that were the goal. While it’s true that I may not always be able to walk as long or as far, I can still embrace life fully and contribute to making the world a better place for everyone.

      I appreciate your suggestion and am touched that you think I could write a book. It’s something that I’ve always dreamed of, but I’m not sure if I have what it takes to be a writer. You see, I’m just an average man trying to manage the loss of the love of my life. It’s been a challenging road, but I’ve moved past the initial stages of grief. However, the emptiness and loneliness I feel daily are sometimes unbearable. It’s like a constant ache in my heart that never goes away, no matter how hard I try to distract myself. Writing a book would allow me to process my emotions and hopefully connect with others going through a similar experience. I know it won’t be easy, but I will try.

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Judaism Is About Love

Read: October 2024

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Judaism Is About Love

by Rabbi Shai Held

Today, I embarked on a transformative journey with Rabbi Shai Held’s book, “Judaism Is About Love.Rav Uri‘s mention of this book during this year’s Yom Kippur service at Temple Sha’arey Shalom sparked a profound connection to the Divine, as echoed in my writings “Love Can Conquer Even Death” and “High Holiday Meditation Cleanses My Soul.” Rabbi Held’s book, which focuses on love, meaning, purpose, and faith, has guided my quest to become the best version of myself.

“Judaism Is About Love” is a beacon of understanding, offering a profound and groundbreaking perspective on Jewish life. It challenges a long-standing misinterpretation that has shaped the Western narrative: Christianity is the religion of love, while Judaism is the religion of law. Rabbi Shai Held, a leading Jewish thinker in America, passionately argues for correcting this misconception. He asserts that love is not just a part of Judaism but a fundamental aspect, thus reclaiming the heart of the Jewish tradition.

With a unique blend of intellectual rigor, respect for tradition, and a vibrant Judaism, Held’s aim is clear: to reclaim Judaism in its authentic form. He illustrates that love is the foundation of the true Jewish faith, influencing our unique perspectives on injustice, protest, grace, family life, responsibilities toward neighbors and enemies, and chosenness.

Judaism Is About Love” is a work of ambition and revelation. It serves as a beacon, illuminating the true essence of Judaism. More than just a book, it is an act of restoration from within, reclaiming the authentic form of Judaism.



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Read: October 2023

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People Collide: A Novel

by Isle McElroy

Today, I started reading “People Collide” by Isle McElroy. The book is about a gender-bending, body-switching story that explores the themes of marriage, identity, and sex. “People Collide” is a profound exploration of ambition, sacrifice, desire, and loss. The book sheds a refreshing light on themes of love, sexuality, and the truth of who we are.

The protagonist, Eli, lives with his wife, Elizabeth, in a cramped apartment in Bulgaria. One day, Eli wakes up to find that he has switched bodies with Elizabeth, who has disappeared without a trace. The story follows Eli’s journey across Europe and America to find his missing wife while he learns to exist in her body.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Read: August 2021

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Ahab’s Wife: Or, The Star-gazer

by Sena Jeter Naslund

Ahab’s Wife: Or, The Star-gazer by Sena Jeter Naslund is a book I could not put down once I finished the first chapter. “Captain Ahab was neither my first husband nor my last.” is one of the most-recognized first sentences in literature–along with “Call me Ishmael.”

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Having read this book, I can easily understand why my wife loved the book and encouraged me to read it. Her life story was much like Una’s, an uplifting story of her spiritual journey and her quest to repair the world.

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Civil War by Other Means: America’s Long and Unfinished Fight for Democracy

Read: November 2022

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Civil War by Other Means

by Jeremi Suri

Civil War by Other Means: America’s Long and Unfinished Fight for Democracy by Jeremi Suri is the perfect book to help us understand our failures at creating a multi-racial democracy in the nineteenth century and how this has weakened and divided our nation. Jeremi Suri chronicles the events after the civil war, from Lincoln’s assassination to Garfield’s, and how they were a continuation of the war by other means.

I purchased a signed copy and watched a video presentation by Dr. Suri due to my membership at One Day University. Civil War by Other Means is a vivid and unsettling portrait of a country striving to rebuild itself but unable to compromise on or adhere to the most basic democratic tenets. 

I highly recommend Civil War by Other Means: America’s Long and Unfinished Fight for Democracy by Jeremi Suri.

In addition, the documentary, on Apple TV+, Lowndes County and the Road to Black Power is a companion piece that illustrates the continued failure to create a multi-racial democracy. Jeremi Suri makes a convincing case that the eternal struggle for democracy continues in our time.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In 1865, the Confederacy was comprehensively defeated, its economy shattered, its leaders in exile or in jail. Yet in the years that followed, Lincoln’s vision of a genuinely united country never took root. Apart from a few brief months, when the presence of the Union army in the South proved liberating for newly freed Black Americans, the military victory was squandered. Old white supremacist efforts returned, more ferocious than before.

In Civil War by Other Means, Jeremi Suri shows how resistance to a more equal Union began immediately. From the first postwar riots to the return of Confederate exiles, to the impeachment of Andrew Johnson, to the highly contested and consequential election of 1876, Suri explores the conflicts and questions Americans wrestled with as competing visions of democracy, race, and freedom came to a vicious breaking point.

What emerges is a vivid and, at times, unsettling portrait of a country striving to rebuild itself but unable to compromise on or adhere to the most basic democratic tenets. What should have been a moment of national renewal was ultimately wasted, with reverberations still felt today. The recent shocks to American democracy are rooted in this forgotten, urgent history.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Read: January 2025

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Autocracy, Inc.

by Anne Applebaum

Today, I plunged into the captivating world of “Autocracy, Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World” by Anne Applebaum. I listened to an engaging discussion between her and the Executive Director of the YIVO Institute for Jewish Research, Jonathan Brent. Their insights left me eager for more, and I couldn’t resist making this book my next read. I’m thrilled to dive deeper into her thought-provoking perspective!

This compelling New York Times bestseller by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author paints a chilling picture of how autocratic regimes join forces to erode democracy globally. Applebaum sheds light on this pressing issue and offers insights on how we can unite to fight back.

We think we know what an autocratic state looks like: An all-powerful leader is at the top. He controls the police. The police threaten the people with violence. There are evil collaborators and maybe some brave dissidents.

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When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Read: March 2022

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Scarlet Carnation: A Novel

by Laila Ibrahim

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The Goodreads overview highlights the narrative of the book.

In an early twentieth-century America roiling with racial injustice, class divides, and WWI, two women fight for their dreams in a galvanizing novel by the bestselling author of Golden Poppies. 1915. May and Naomi are extended families, their grandmothers’ lives inseparably entwined on a Virginia plantation in the volatile time leading up to the Civil War. For both women, the twentieth century promises social transformation and equal opportunity.

May, a young white woman, is on the brink of achieving the independent life she’s dreamed of since childhood. Naomi, a nurse, mother, and leader of the NAACP, has fulfilled her own dearest desire: buying a home for her family. But they both are about to learn that dreams can be destroyed in an instant. May’s future is upended, and she is forced to rely once again on her mother. Meanwhile, the white-majority neighborhood into which Naomi has moved is organizing against her while her sons are away fighting for their country.

In the tumult of a changing nation, these two women—whose grandmothers survived the Civil War—support each other’s quest for liberation and dignity. Both find the strength to confront injustice and the faith to thrive on their chosen paths.

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