I Choose to Face the Future, Not the Past
The Past Remains With Me, Now and Forever
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 49 seconds
Growing up in the South, I often heard William Faulkner’s quote from Requiem for a Nun – “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” Initially, as a young man, I thought the quote was clever, but I questioned its accuracy. I believed that only the present and future mattered and that my past experiences were insignificant.
However, as I have grown older, I have realized that the past is essential. We can learn from our successes and mistakes when we reflect on them. Sometimes, the past can feel like a weight on our chests, leaving an impression of the good, bad, and ugly in our souls.
When my spouse, Jan, passed away, I was anxious and unsure if I could not continue without her. At first, memories of the past were comforting and reminded me of our love, which had been the foundation of my writing. But I have since shifted my focus to the present and the future, recognizing that life is about embracing each day while facing an uncertain future.
Our choices determine the direction of our lives, and we must decide whether to dwell in the past or look ahead to the future. Although the past was beautiful, I have learned to let it go and concentrate on the present. As a widow navigating a world of uncertainty, I am eager to embrace the unknown, buoyed by the spirit of my beloved Jan. Together, we will use the power of our love to create a brighter tomorrow for generations to come. I honor the past by managing my grief while remaining open to new possibilities and building a better future.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
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Growing Around Grief to Live Fully!
Today marks my grandson Wes's first birthday, and seeing him smile fills me with immense joy. His smile reminds me of his grandma Jan, whose smile always delighted me like a kaleidoscope of new images. It's heartwarming to see that Wes has inherited the same gift from Jan - their smiles are a constant reminder of the love and happiness within our family.
Reflecting on the past can be challenging but can also serve as a reminder of what truly matters. On this particular day, as Wes celebrates his first birthday, I am reminded that it has been 26 months since Jan's passing. Though the pain of loss remains, our love endures. Each day, I strive to embody the best version of myself - a kind and compassionate grandparent, a helpful neighbor, and a trustworthy friend. I am committed to honoring Jan's wishes by living this way.
