Jan Clears the Deck!
Estimated reading time: 9 minutes, 33 seconds
Jan Makes First Commitment
Despite Her Friends’ Concerns
“Yes, I knew Richard was the one the moment we met,” Jan said in response to a question from our dinner guests about how we fell in love. We had explained the basic details of how we met at a party at her apartment in Inwood. “When I got home on Monday, the first thing I did was make two phone calls. I had been dating two guys, and I did not see any reason to continue to see them after I met Richard.”
Jan paused for a second before continuing. Jan’s revelation was almost forty years after we had met, and the information she had just shared was new to me. I wondered what more she was thinking about sharing.
“It was not easy making those calls, but they both understood,” Jan said. “It was my girlfriends who did not understand why I would break up with two guys a day after meeting Richard.”
Although I suspected she had a boyfriend when we met, I never knew for sure. Indeed I did not realize that there were two and that she had broken up with them. I learned about the opposition of her girlfriends at the time as Jan and I had spoken about it. Richard is too laid back. Why are you settling? True love is a fairy tale. Don’t you want to have fun?
“Why didn’t your friends understand,” the other woman said.
“They found it hard to believe after only being together for a day that I would break up with two very nice guys,” Jan explained. “Plus, we had not….”
Both women giggled, and my face turned red. Jan smiled at me as she leaned over and kissed me. “I love you, honey.”
Fortunately, the conversation shifted to how the other couple’s meeting story.
The waiter asked if we wanted the second wine bottle opened. I was not drinking, but the two women nodded yes.
The balance of dinner and dessert proceeded smoothly.
As we were leaving, we all agreed we should meet again soon.
Driving home on the Parkway
On the drive home, Jan and I chatted about dinner. I wanted to ask more about her revelation about the two boyfriends but decided to wait until we got home. The music on the radio was from the sixties and seventies. Jan started to sing along. She not only knew the lyrics but also knew which song it was after less than a few seconds.
Goodnight, you moonlight ladies
James Taylor
Rockabye sweet baby James
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose
Won’t you let me go down in my dreams
And rockabye sweet baby James
My mind started to process the two boyfriends and her quick decision to drop them. I would never have asked her to break up with them. But, if she had not, would we still be together?
In reality, Jan and I had never dated. We met, fell in love, and were a couple instantly.
That question was at the forefront of my mind as we drove home. Playing three-dimensional chess, every option I could imagine resulted in our not being together now. My blood pressure, usually very-low, rose as we merged onto the Parkway. I could not imagine my life without Jan.
Would we be together now if I had been one of three people dating her?
I only made $75 a week before taxes and lived in an apartment without heat.
If I were third in line waiting for the Queen of England to die, I would be a spare part.
I feel the earth move under my feet
Carole King
I feel the sky tumblin’ down
I feel my heart start to tremblin’
Whenever you’re around
Whenever you’re around
Oh darlin’, when you’re near me
And you tenderly call my name
I know that my emotions
Are somethin’ I just can’t tame
I just got to have ya, baby
I feel the earth move under my feet
I feel the sky tumblin’ down
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
