Cello and Violin Concertos Ease Grief's Hold on Me

Cello and Violin Concertos Ease My Grief

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 47 seconds
April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

Last night, my widow friend Betsy and I attended a performance by the Bergen Philharmonic Orchestra. Wendy, a mutual friend who is also a widow, is the concertmaster. The 2019 and 2021 winners of the Young Artist Competition performed in the two concertos, which were a pleasure for my body and soul.  The symphony was superb.

The orchestra performed at its best.

The next concert is on November 5th. Hopefully, more of my widowed friends can attend and enjoy live music.

My grief was so minimal for a few moments that I thought I was at the concert with Jan.


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Ten Alternate Words for Widow

On January 3rd, I wrote an article titled "Why Am I Still Defined as a Widow?". In the article, I expressed my confusion and frustration over being referred to as a widow despite having moved on from the loss of my spouse. I explained how I have chosen to live life to the fullest with meaning and purpose and have discovered the transformative power of loving and being loved. I also mentioned that I play many roles in life, including that of a father, grandfather, community activist, advocate, and observant Jew. I am a complex and multifaceted individual. Therefore, I requested the reader to consider me as such.

My friend and reader of my blog, Mark Annett, read my blog post. He wrote, "Your quest for a new term for the widow was noble. So, I shared your post with ChatGPT for some help. Here is what it came up with…

Show thread (1)

Cello and Violin Concertos Ease Grief's Hold on Me

Stand by Me

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 47 seconds

WNYC’s New Standards was on the radio while driving home in light rain. The first song was Ben E. King’s Stand by Me. It was not on the top of the music charts for either Jan or me, but it was a clear message that Jan is still with me and standing by me. 

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we’ll see
No, I won’t be afraid
Oh, I won’t be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

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Cello and Violin Concertos Ease Grief's Hold on Me
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Cello and Violin Concertos Ease Grief's Hold on Me
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Us Fools

Read: November 2024

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Us Fools: A Novel

by Nora Lange

Today, I embarked on the journey of Us Fools by Nora Lange. This poignant and personal American narrative is about two remarkable sisters who, against all odds, come of age during the Midwestern farm crisis of the 1980s. In her debut novel, Nora Lange has crafted a lively, ambitious, and heart-wrenching portrait of two unique sisters determined to persevere despite the harsh realities of capitalism and their circumstances. After a pivotal national election, this seemed like the perfect book to read.

Joanne and Bernadette Fareown, born and raised on a family farm in rural Illinois, are deeply impacted by their parents’ tumultuous relationship and mounting financial debt, haunted by the unsettling history of the women in their family. Left to fend for themselves, the sisters delve into Greek mythology, feminism, and Virginia Woolf. As they grapple with these trying circumstances, they must devise unique coping mechanisms and question the validity of the American Dream. At the same time, the rest of the nation disregards their struggling community.

Jo and Bernie’s imaginative efforts to escape their parents’ harsh realities ultimately fall short, prompting the family to relocate to Chicago. There, Joanne—free-spirited, reckless, and struggling to manage her inner turmoil—rebels in increasingly desperate ways. After undergoing her most significant breakdown yet, Jo goes into exile in Deadhorse, Alaska. Bernadette takes it upon herself to apply everything she has learned from her sister to rekindle a sense of hope in a failing world.

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The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel

Read: April 2022

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The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel

by Lydia Kang

The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel by Lydia Kang is a spellbinding historical mystery about hidden identities, wartime paranoia, and the compelling power of deceit. It was my free April book from First Reads, and it was a page-turner that I highly recommend.

The first year of World War II and the Manhattan Project is the backdrop of this historical fiction. The siblings’ Will and Maggie Scripps are well-defined andy sympathetic characters. I will leave it for the reader to find out the truth about them. Ruby Fielding is a fascinating character, although it takes time for her to be fully developed.

Again, I highly recommend this novel!

Goodreads provides a concise overview.

Brooklyn, 1942. War rages overseas as brother and sister Will and Maggie Scripps contribute to the war effort stateside. Ambitious Will secretly scouts for the Manhattan Project while grief-stricken Maggie works at the Navy Yard, writing letters to her dead mother between shifts.

But the siblings’ quiet lives change when they discover a beautiful woman hiding under their back stairs. This stranger harbors an obsession with poisons, an affection for fine things, and a singular talent for killing small creatures. As she draws Will and Maggie deeper into her mysterious past, they both begin to suspect she’s quite dangerous―all while falling helplessly under her spell.

With whispers of spies in dark corners and the world’s first atomic bomb in the works, the visitor’s sudden presence in Maggie’s and Will’s lives raises questions about who she is and what she wants. Is this mysterious woman someone they can trust―or a threat to everything they hold dear?

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Watching Over Her

Read: January 2026

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Watching Over Her

by Jean-Baptiste Andrea

“Watching Over Her,” a novel by the acclaimed French author and Prix Goncourt winner Jean-Baptiste Andrea, is described by The New York Times as a “sprawling fresco and star-crossed love story.” The narrative follows a dwarf and talented sculptor as he reflects on the moments in his life that inspired his mysteriously powerful masterpiece. This book is perfect for readers who enjoyed “Martyr!” and “The Covenant of Water.”

In an Italian monastery, a sculptor named Mimo lies on his deathbed. For decades, he has lived among the monks who watch over his masterpiece, an arresting statue that haunts all who see it. During his final hours, he reveals his life story: his impoverished childhood, brutal apprenticeship, and, most importantly, his meeting with Viola Orsini, the only daughter of a powerful and dangerous aristocratic family.

Mimo and Viola are instantly drawn to one another, viewing themselves as outsiders—Mimo, for his dwarfism, Viola, for her ability to remember everything she has ever read or experienced. Together, they traverse the unrest of the twentieth century, from the rise of fascism to the violence of the world wars. While Mimo becomes a celebrated artist, Viola chases her own dreams of becoming an emancipated woman. Over the decades, they will lose and find each other time and again, but never will they give up on the love they share.

Immersive and full of heart, Mimo’s adventures are ribald and hilarious, challenging conventions of his day. Jean-Baptiste Andrea’s Prix Goncourt–winning novel has captivated audiences worldwide and is now available to readers in English for the first time, thanks to Frank Wynne’s wonderfully vivid translation.


Jean-Baptiste Andrea is a writer, screenwriter, and director. His novel Watching Over Her won the Prix Goncourt, France’s most prestigious literary prize. He is also the author of Ma Reine, A Hundred Million Years and a Day, and Devils and Saints.

Frank Wynne is an Irish literary translator, writer, and editor known for his translations of various French and Hispanic authors, including Michel Houellebecq, Patrick Modiano, Javier Cercas, and Virginie Despentes. Over his career, which has spanned more than twenty-five years, he has won the IMPAC Dublin Literary Award twice and the Independent Foreign Fiction Prize.

Additionally, he has received the Scott Moncrieff Prize three times and the Premio Valle Inclán twice. Most recently, his translation of “The Annual Banquet of the Gravediggers’ Guild” by Mathias Énard won the 2024 French-American Prize. Wynne has also edited two significant anthologies: “Found in Translation: 100 of the Finest Short Stories Ever Translated” and “Queer: LGBT Writing from Ancient Times to Yesterday.”



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The True True Story of Raja the Gullible (and His Mother)

Read: October 2025

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The True True Story of Raja the Gullible (and His Mother)

by Rabih Alameddine

“The True True Story of Raja the Gullible (and His Mother)” is a wonderfully unique and vibrant celebration of love. Written by Rabih Alameddine, a National Book Award finalist and winner of the PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction, “The True True Story of Raja the Gullible (and His Mother)” is a tragicomic love story set in Lebanon. It explores the modern saga of family, memory, and the unbreakable bond between a son and his mother.

In a small apartment in Beirut, sixty-three-year-old Raja and his mother live side by side. A beloved high school philosophy teacher and “the neighborhood homosexual,” Raja enjoys books, meditative walks, order, and solitude. Meanwhile, his octogenarian mother, Zalfa, feels that Raja’s desire for privacy is a personal affront. She demands to know every detail of his work and love life, disregarding his boundaries.

When Raja receives an invitation to an all-expenses-paid writing residency in America, it couldn’t come at a better time. It arrives on the heels of a series of personal and national disasters that have left him longing for peace, away from his mother and the turmoil of Lebanon. However, what initially seems like a stroke of luck soon forces Raja to confront and relive the very disasters and past betrayals he wishes to forget.

Told in Raja’s irresistible, wickedly funny voice, the novel traverses six decades, narrating the unforgettable story of a singular life and its absurdities—a tale of mistakes, self-discovery, trauma, and perhaps even forgiveness.


Rabih Alameddine is the author of several acclaimed works, including the novels “The Wrong End of the Telescope“, “Angel of History“, “An Unnecessary Woman“, “The Hakawati“, “I, the Divine“, and “Koolaids“. He also wrote a collection of stories titled “The Perv” and a nonfiction work called “Comforting Myths”.

Alameddine has received numerous awards for his writing, including the PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction, and he was a finalist for the National Book Award. In 2019, he was honored with the Dos Passos Prize, received a Lannan Award in 2021, and was awarded the Bill Whitehead Lifetime Achievement Award in 2025.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Universality

Read: August 2025

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Universality: A Novel

by Natasha Brown

“Universality,” a thrilling novel by the acclaimed young author Natasha Brown, is a compelling and unsettling celebration of the extraordinary—and often troubling—power of language. It dares readers to face the raw, astonishing force of words and challenges them not to look away. Longlisted for the THE 2025 Booker Prize, this novel promises an extraordinary reading experience!

Late one night on a Yorkshire farm, amid an illegal rave, a young man is nearly bludgeoned to death with a solid gold bar.

An ambitious young journalist sets out to uncover the truth surrounding the attack, connecting the dots between an amoral banker landlord, an iconoclastic newspaper columnist, and a radical anarchist movement that has taken up residence on the farm. She solves the mystery, but her viral exposé raises more questions than it answers. Through a voyeuristic lens, and with a simmering power, Universality focuses on words: what we say, how we say it, and what we mean.


Natasha Brown was recognized as one of Granta’s Best of Young British Novelists. Her debut novel, Assembly, received nominations for the Folio Prize, the Goldsmiths Prize, and the Orwell Prize for Political Fiction.



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Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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The Invisible Hour: A Novel

Read: August 2023

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The Invisible Hour: A Novel

by Alice Hoffman

Today I started reading The Invisible Hour by Alice Hoffman. It’s a story about love, heartbreak, self-discovery, and the magic of books. The Invisible Hour is the story of one woman’s dream. For a little while, it came true. Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote: “A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities.

Mia Jacob finds hope in the power of words on a brilliant June day. She reads The Scarlet Letter, a novel written almost two hundred years earlier, which mirrors her life. Mia and her mother, Ivy, live inside an oppressive cult in western Massachusetts called the Community, where contact with the outside world is forbidden, and books are considered evil. Nathaniel Hawthorne’s words perfectly capture the pain and loss that Mia carries inside her.

As Mia journeys through heartbreak and time, she breaks free from the rules of her Community. Along the way, she discovers the power of reading to transport and connect people, the fluidity of time, and the strength of love to overcome any obstacle.

As a young girl, Mia fell in love with a book. Now as a woman, she falls for a writer as she travels back in time. But what if Nathaniel Hawthorne never wrote “The Scarlet Letter”? What if Mia never found the book on the day she planned to end her life?


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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