We Are Getting Married!
Estimated reading time: 8 minutes, 49 seconds
Birthday Party
I love Richard, and he loves me!” Jan said as she and her sister returned from the ladies’ room. I thought you would be happy for me!” I stood up when Jan returned and held her in my arms. I kissed her and whispered, “I love you, Jan!”
Let’s finish dinner, and we can talk about this another day,” her mother said.
I am not changing my mind,” the love of my life responded.
Dinner was tense. My taste buds had gone sour, and it was a dinner I could barely eat.
After cake and singing happy birthday, Jan’s father mentioned they would drive us home.
“My apologies,” I said. I accidentally purchased round-trip bus tickets, which expire tomorrow if we do not use them.
In reality, I was doing something I had never done. I was telling a fib as I had not purchased round-trip bus tickets.
Jan and I said our farewells. The hugs were cold and distant, like stars in the Milky Way.
We walked in silence across the street to catch the bus.
Jan took the window seat, and I took the aisle seat next to her.
“I love you, Jan. I want to marry you!” I said as I took a deep breath. But if your parent’s unhappiness means you want to change our plans or delay them, I will do whatever you want me to do.
Jan was angry. She looked as if she might cry at any moment. But the tears and her voice were silent.
“We can talk later,” I said, putting my arm around her and hugging her.
How could I get her back to Cape San Blas? Neither of us wanted to leave Brooklyn, but I could not sit by and watch her fade into nothingness every time we were with her parents. I felt this was a conversation we would need to have soon.
Port Authority Bus Terminal
We exited the bus and proceeded down the escalator to the main floor. It was almost empty on a Sunday night. Jan was walking as if she had no energy or desire to live. I held her hand and had my arm around her waist.
I had never seen her like this. What can I do to help her regain her mojo?
She turned towards me and held my hands.
I love you, and we are going to get married, and they will have to accept you as my loving husband,” Jan stated unequivocally.
We kissed and hugged. Although it was almost exactly eight months until our wedding day, at that moment, it felt as if that was the first time I had kissed my wife.
Jan’s Three Commitments
We all have choices in our lives that can change us for better or worse, depending on how we decide. Jan had three opportunities to confirm our love for each other, and each time she selected me!
My overall goal is to fully tell the story of each of Jan’s three commitments to me.
I have written about how we met in several posts.
Jan Clears the Decks is the first to clarify Jan’s commitment to me despite concerns from friends. I plan to write more about this period. Thus, the first commitment was the day we met. She could have chosen not to fall in love with me. Many of her friends and family opposed our relationship.
I have written a post on our marriage proposal. The second was the day we married—many of her friends and family did not support our wedding plans. During the thirteen months after the marriage announcement, Jan faced many more moments when she could have chosen not to proceed. This post begins to discuss the questions raised by her family.
The last was a problematic situation early in our marriage. Jan and I almost ended our life as a married couple. I will always be grateful that she stayed with me and that we became a family of four.
Love never dies; it only grows stronger every day!
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
