Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

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Cynthia and Susan Sitting on Jan's Bench

Jan Was the Wind Beneath My Wings

Jan Lilien Education Fund

Photo courtesy of Neeru and Asish Patel.

One of the most poignant moments during Celebrate Jan Day was when Cynthia Manno sang “Wind Beneath My Wings.”

Not only is Cynthia an accomplished vocalist, but she is someone Jan enjoyed listening to her voice.

We had heard her on many occasions but most often at the Salem Roadhouse Cafe.

Jan was and always will be my hero. All I ever needed was her love, which will never die!

Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Cynthia Manno sings “Wind Beneath my Wings” by Bette Midler at Celebrate Jan Day.


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Tables at Celebrate Jan Day

A Year Without Jan is a Strange Year

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

It has been a year since the love of my life died. This morning, I got up and walked as if it was just another day.

But it is not just another day. It is one more day without Jan and one filled with questions.

Have I done enough to honor her?

Have I done enough to share her love?

Have I grown enough so that my grief is a minor part of me?

What would Jan do?

Although the questions are unanswerable today, I know one self-evident truth.

Our love will never die; it will grow stronger every day!

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Shovels

New Page: Celebrate Jan Day Photos

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

Celebrate Jan Day on April 24, 2022, was a success. One hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to celebrate her life. We dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.

Thanks to Neeru and Asish Patel, longtime friends, we have ninety-six photos of Celebrate Jan Day. If you use them, please credit them as the photographers. Click here to view video clips from Celebrate Jan Day.

If you share on social media with the links on this page, please use these hashtags.

  • #sharingjanslove
  • #janlilien
  • #loverneverdies

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When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Celebrate Jan Day Photos

Over One Hundred Celebrate Jan’s Life We are working with Hanson Park and Carolle Huber Landscape Architecture to develop a creative reimagination of the Hanson Park Triangle. Click here for a PDF of the design. These ninety-six photos are courtesy of Neeru and Asish Patel. If you use them, please credit them as photographers. Click here […]
Jan and Richard Lovers Forever

Jan’s Birthday Playlist is Joyful

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

Jan’s Birthday Playlist was one she curated for her sixtieth birthday. The music was perfect for that birthday and every day. We played this music in Hanson Park on Celebrate Jan Day, and I share it with anyone who loves Jan and music. Jan listened to each song twice before selecting it for this playlist. She did not include many because they needed to meet her criteria.

Jan wanted the music to reflect her passion for life and her love for her family.

 

Enjoy and share Jan’s love.

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Celebrate Jan Day

On Sunday, April 24, 2022, in Hanson Park in Cranford, NJ, one hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to Celebrate Jan's life as we dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.
Soaring Spirits at Celebrate Jan Day

Jan and the Righteous Thirty-Six

Jan Lilien

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

At Celebrate Jan Day, Rabbi Dr. Renee Edelman spoke about the thirty-six righteous people. Jan, according to the Rabbi, was one of the thirty-six.

“Jan was one of those who did the most to help other people,” said Rabbi Renee. She highlighted Jan’s spark and smiles that invited people to join in conversations.

“Her soul will always be with those who knew her and were loved by Jan,” said Rabbi Renee.

I will forever be grateful to Rabbi Renee for her love, friendship, and spiritual guidance.

The Rabbi’s video is one of twelve video clips from Celebrate Jan Day.

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New Page: Videos from Celebrate Jan Day!

Thanks to Cranford’s TV35, a local access television channel, the event was live-streamed and can now be viewed on YouTube. We now have videos of the individual presentations. Enjoy, and please share!

This video is Cynthia Manno singing “Wind Beneath my Wings” by Bette Midler at Celebrate Jan Day.

Celebrate Jan Day on April 24, 2022, was a success. One hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to celebrate her life as we dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.

If you share on social media with the links on this page, please use these hashtags.

  • #sharingjanslove
  • #janlilien
  • #loverneverdies

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Celebrate Jan Day Videos

Over One Hundred Celebrate Jan’s Life We are working with Hanson Park and Carolle Huber Landscape Architecture to develop a creative reimagination of the Hanson Park Triangle. Click here for a PDF of the design. Thanks to Cranford’s TV35, a local access television channel, the event was live-streamed and can now be viewed on YouTube. […]
Hanson Park Display Carolle Huber

Breaking Ground for Jan’s Memorial Garden

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

It has been only three days since we broke ground on the Jan Lilien Memorial Triangle Garden at Hanson Park. The many friends who joined us for the day helped us with love and support.

Over the next few months, we will provide updates on the progress of the work on the garden.

Hanson Park Conservancy‘s Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors events and programs on sustainability and environmental awareness.

On Thursday, May 12, 2022 – at 7 pm at the Community Center, speaker Virginia Lamb will discuss soil health and composting as a tool for climate mitigation.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Cynthia and Susan Sitting on Jan's Bench
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Tables at Celebrate Jan Day
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Shovels
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Jan and Richard Lovers Forever
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Soaring Spirits at Celebrate Jan Day
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Hanson Park Display Carolle Huber
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Luky Us

Read: March 2022

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Lucky Us: A Novel

by Amy Bloom

Having surpassed my Goodreads 2022 reading goal, I wanted a lite, historical fiction book and found this one in the e-libraryLucky Us by Amy Bloom is a book that hooked me on the opening line – “My father’s wife died. My mother said we should drive down to his place and see what might be in it for us.” I enjoyed reading it and highly recommend it.

The first section in Hollywood was the one I found less appealing. Partly that is because I identified with Eva, and she does not fulfill her leading role until the last two sections. Its depiction of how people survived the way years by sometimes is a reminder of our inner resilience.

Goodreads provides the following summary.

So begins this remarkable novel by Amy Bloom, whose critically acclaimed Away was called “a literary triumph” (The New York Times). Lucky Us is a brilliantly written, deeply moving, fantastically funny novel of love, heartbreak, and luck.

Disappointed by their families, Iris, the hopeful star and Eva the sidekick, journey through 1940s America in search of fame and fortune. Iris’s ambitions take the pair across the America of Reinvention in a stolen station wagon, from small-town Ohio to an unexpected and sensuous Hollywood, and to the jazz clubs and golden mansions of Long Island.

With their friends in high and low places, Iris and Eva stumble and shine through a landscape of big dreams, scandals, betrayals, and war. Filled with gorgeous writing, memorable characters, and surprising events, Lucky Us is a thrilling and resonant novel about success and failure, good luck and bad, the creation of a family, and the pleasures and inevitable perils of family life, conventional and otherwise. From Brooklyn’s beauty parlors to London’s West End, a group of unforgettable people love, lie, cheat, and survive in this story of our fragile, absurd, heroic species.

Register to Attend Celebrate Jan Day

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Chain Gang All Stars

Read: December 2023

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Chain Gang All Stars

by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah

Today, I started reading “Chain Gang All Stars” by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah. The story revolves around Loretta Thurwar and Hamara “Hurricane Staxxx” Stacker, the main characters of the Chain-Gang All-Stars, a highly controversial and top-rated program in America’s private prison industry. The program is called Criminal Action Penal Entertainment (CAPE), where prisoners compete for the ultimate prize- their freedom. It’s similar to the return of the gladiators but in a modern-day setting.

The story is set in a prison called CAPE, where inmates are forced to participate in death matches as a part of a chain-gang. These matches are held in front of cheering crowds, while the prison authorities claim it to be a righteous act. Among the participants, Thurwar and Staxxx are the most popular as they are also lovers. Thurwar is just a few matches away from her freedom, which she carries with a heavy heart and lethal hammer. Thurwar contemplates how she can help her fellow inmates preserve their humanity despite being forced into these brutal games. However, the owners of CAPE are determined to safeguard their status quo, and they will go to extreme lengths to stop anyone who challenges them. Thurwar’s attempts to resist the system have devastating consequences.

Chain-Gang All-Stars” is a powerful book that sheds light on the American prison system’s problematic alliance with systemic racism, unchecked capitalism, and mass incarceration. It critically examines the situation from various perspectives, from the Links in the field to the protestors, the CAPE employees, and beyond. The book offers a clear-eyed reckoning of what freedom really means in America. It is a noteworthy contribution from a “new and necessary American voice,” as described by Tommy Orange in The New York Times Book Review.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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How the Word is Passed

Read: December 2021

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How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America

by Clint Smith

How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America by Clint Smith. This book was a gift from my son Jon. The New York Times selected How the Word is Passed as one of the best books published this year. Beginning in his hometown of New Orleans, Clint Smith leads the reader on an unforgettable tour of monuments and landmarks—those that are honest about the past and those that are not—that offer an intergenerational story of how slavery has been central in shaping our nation’s collective history, and ourselves.

How the Word is Passed is one of the best books I have read in 2021. I had read an excerpt in The Atlantic on the Whitney Plantation, one of the only former plantations devoted to preserving the experience of the enslaved people whose lives and work sustained it. Like most of us, I had placed the book on my to-read list, where it remained lost in the cobwebs. Fortunately, my son Jon purchased the book for me.

Secondly, the book rekindled my long-lost dream of being an American Studies professor. As soon as Jan and I met, I dropped plans to leave Brooklyn and start graduate school in the fall of 1974. I made that decision primarily because of how much I loved Jan. But it was also partly that I did not have a clear vision of what my life would be like as a professor. The book provided clear examples of people like Yvonne Holden at The Whitney Plantation redefining history to be more accurate and inclusive. I probably could not have done as well as she did, but I can now see that it might have resulted in a career for me that could have been impactful.

Goodreads provides this overview for those who still need to be convinced to read this book.

It is the story of the Monticello Plantation in Virginia, the estate where Thomas Jefferson wrote letters espousing the urgent need for liberty while enslaving over 400 people on the premises. It is the story of the Whitney Plantation, one of the only former plantations devoted to preserving the experience of the enslaved people whose lives and work sustained it. It is the story of Angola Prison in Louisiana, a former plantation named for the country from which most of its enslaved people arrived and which has since become one of the most gruesome maximum-security prisons in the world. And it is the story of Blandford Cemetery, the final resting place of tens of thousands of Confederate soldiers.

In a deeply researched and transporting exploration of the legacy of slavery and its imprint on centuries of American history, How the Word Is Passed illustrates how some of our country’s most essential stories are hidden in plain view-whether in places we might drive by on our way to work, holidays such as Juneteenth, or entire neighborhoods—like downtown Manhattan—on which the brutal history of the trade in enslaved men, women and children has been deeply imprinted.

Informed by scholarship and brought alive by the story of people living today, Clint Smith’s debut work of nonfiction is a landmark work of reflection and insight that offers a new understanding of the hopeful role that memory and history can play in understanding our country.

How the Word is Passed is one of the best books I have read this year and many prior ones. I encourage you to read it and share your comments.

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Reluctantly Home

Read: June 2022

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Reluctantly Home

by Imogen Clark

Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark is about dealing with the past—and finally facing the future-a topic that was appealing to me. Thirteen months into my grief journey, I live between a perfect past and an unknowable future. Will Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark help me manage these two worlds?

Surprisingly it did. Unlike the two protagonists, I am mourning losing Jan, the love of my life. However, the neuromapping in my brain made it impossible to understand how to continue to love Jan and separate that from the time and space connections that made me believe she would return at any moment.

Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark helped me understand that grief should and cannot define us forever. I recommend this book to all readers, not only those on a grief journey like mine.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Pip Appleby seems to have it all, with her prestigious job as a human rights lawyer and her enviable London home. But then a tragic accident stops her life in its tracks, and everything changes instantly. Retreating to her family’s rural farm and the humble origins she has been trying to hide, Pip is haunted by what she has done.

When she discovers the diary of actress Evelyn Mountcastle in a box of old books, Pip revels in the opportunity to lose herself in someone else’s life rather than focus on the disaster that is her own. But soon, she sees parallels—Evelyn’s life was also beset by tragedy, and, like Pip, she returned to Southwold under a dark cloud.

When Pip and Evelyn’s paths cross in real life, they slowly begin to reveal the hidden stories holding them back. Can they help each other forgive what happened in the past and, perhaps, find happiness in the future?


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Ruth

Read: August 2025

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Ruth: A Novel

by Kate Riley

Ruth” by Kate Riley is a captivating and thought-provoking exploration of a woman’s journey through the complexities of life within a tightly-knit and devout community. The narrative intricately weaves together the nuances of faith, tradition, and individual desire, encouraging readers to confront their own deeply held beliefs about the nature of fulfillment and purpose.

Ruth was raised in a snow globe of Christian communism, a world without private property, television, or tolerance for idle questions. Every morning, she braids her hair and wears the same costume, sings the same breakfast song in a family room identical to every other family room in the community; every one of these moments is meant to be a prayer, but to Ruth, they remain puzzles.

Her life is seen in glimpses through childhood, marriage, and motherhood, as she tries to manage her own perilous curiosity in a community built on holy mystery. Is she happy? Is this happiness?


Kate Riley was raised in New York City, and this book is her final work.



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You Are Here: A Novel

Read: May 2024

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You Are Here: A Novel

by David Nicholls

I began reading “You Are Here: A Novel” by David Nicholls today. The book, written by the internationally bestselling and Booker Prize-longlisted author of One Day, is an uplifting love story about second chances. It revolves around the idea I learned from grief: sometimes, one must get lost to find their way. The main character, Michael, struggles to cope with the aftermath of his wife’s departure.

He seeks comfort in solitary walks across the English countryside and becomes increasingly reclusive, trying to escape the emptiness of his home.

Meanwhile, Marnie is feeling stuck. She isolates herself in her London flat, avoiding old friends and reminders of her selfish ex-husband. She spends her time with books, battling the feeling that life is passing her by.

A mutual friend and some unpredictable weather bring Michael and Marnie together on a ten-day hike, which both are not thrilled about. However, they find exactly what they’ve been searching for during the journey.

As they stand at the threshold of a promising future, Michael and Marnie’s journey becomes a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

By bestselling author David Nicholls, “You Are Here” is a hilarious, hopeful, and heartwarming love story. It is a bittersweet and hopeful tale of first encounters, second chances, and finding the way home.

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