Richard W. shared a post on April 6, 2023
Matzoh Brei for Jan!

Matzoh Brei for Jan!

The Secret Ingredient Makes It the Best!

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 5 seconds

“Honey, I’m feeling pretty hungry,” Jan said as I handed her the morning medication.

As her loving husband and caregiver, I asked what she had in mind. “I’m really in the mood for some Matzoh Brei,” she replied.

I wasn’t sure how to make it, so I headed downstairs to find a recipe.

“Wait a minute, you’ve never made Matzoh Brei before and you don’t even like it,” she reminded me. Jan quickly jotted down a recipe for me to follow.

In the kitchen, I followed her instructions step by step, with the only change I put in all my love into the Matzoh Brei. After some time, I went back upstairs and served her breakfast. I said, “Here you go, my love. Do you require anything else?”

Jan was in the middle of a call and shook her head negatively, so I quietly left the room and headed downstairs. As I reached the first floor, I overheard Jan exclaiming, “Wow, this is the best Matzoh Brei I’ve ever had!

I smiled as I continued to our living room, remembering my grandmother’s lesson. Following Jan’s directions, I prepared the Matzoh Brei and added the secret ingredient – love!

I received the news that I hoped never to hear two years ago today.

“I’m sorry to say this, but the only option for Janice is hospice,” Dr. Strair said.

Hearing those words, my stomach flipped, and I felt like it had jumped out of the window. The call had been about planning for Jan’s recovery, but now we were discussing her death.

Today, 24 months later, I still can’t eat Matzoh Brei, but my love for Jan remains strong.

I’ve learned that love never dies, and I take it one day at a time. Even though I miss Jan, I strive to share her passion for life and kindle the light from her effervescent smiles to repair the world.

Love is the elusive yet essential ingredient that makes life complete and fulfilling.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Jan and Ana

Home for Hospice

I must focus all my attention on Jan, who will come home for hospice care. Although resources are limited, I will give Jan my utmost love and support.
Richard W. Brown April 8, 2022

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Matzoh Brei for Jan!
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Lake Effect

Read: March 2026

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Lake Effect: A Novel

by Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney

Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney‘s Lake Effect is a wry and tender portrait of two families forever changed by one impulsive decision that will reverberate for decades. Written with Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney‘s signature humor and insight, Lake Effect offers a wise and probing exploration of love and desire, the relationships between mothers and daughters, loss and grief, and what we owe to the people we love most.

It’s 1977, and an air of restlessness hangs over the residents of Cambridge Road in Rochester, New York—a community long influenced by the booming fortunes of Kodak and Xerox, and for some, the traditions of the Catholic church. When Nina Larkin receives a copy of *The Joy of Sex* from her newly divorced friend, she can no longer ignore the lack of intimacy in her marriage.

Just as her oldest child, Clara, is experiencing her first love, Nina finds herself yearning for something forbidden: a midlife awakening. An intoxicating affair with a prominent neighbor introduces Nina to a freedom she never thought possible. Still, it also jeopardizes the reputations of both families and upends Clara’s world as she stands on the brink of adulthood.

Years later, Clara, now a successful food stylist in New York City, has never fully escaped the shadow of the childhood scandal. Drawn back home by the pull of a family wedding and grappling with her own challenges, she makes a pivotal decision that turns her life upside down.

Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney is the author of the bestselling novels “The Nest,” which became an instant New York Times bestseller and was named one of the best books of the year by People, the Washington Post, and NPR, as well as “Good Company,” a selection for Read with Jenna. She has appeared as a guest on shows like Today, Late Night with Seth Meyers, and NPR’s All Things Considered. Her works have been translated into more than twenty-eight languages, and “The Nest” is currently in development as a limited series with AMC Studios.

Ms. Sweeney holds an MFA from the Bennington Writing Seminars and lives in New York City with her husband.

Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!

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Vanishing World

Read: April 2025

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Vanishing World

by Sayaka Murata

Today, I began reading Sayaka Murata‘s Vanishing World, translated by Ginny Tapley Takemori. This novel, from the author of the bestselling literary sensations Convenience Store Woman and Earthlings, presents a surprising and highly imaginative story set in an alternate version of Japan where sexual relations between married couples have disappeared, and all children are conceived through artificial insemination.

Sayaka Murata has established herself as a remarkable observer of society’s peculiarities, delving into our contemporary world with bizarre and unsettling insights. Her portrayals of a contentedly unmarried retail worker in Convenience Store Woman and a young woman who believes she is an alien in Earthlings have resonated with millions of readers globally. In Vanishing World, Murata takes her vision to a bold new level, envisioning an alternative Japan where attitudes toward sex and procreation diverge significantly from our own.

As a girl, Amane is horrified to learn that her parents “copulated” to conceive her rather than using artificial insemination, which became the norm in the mid-twentieth century. She seeks to escape what she perceives as her mother’s indoctrination into this peculiar “system.” Despite her efforts, Amane’s attractions to both anime characters and real people carry an undeniable sexual weight.

As an adult in a suitably sexless marriage—where sex between married couples is regarded as taboo, akin to incest—Amane and her husband, Saku, decide to relocate to a mysterious new town called Experiment City, or Paradise-Eden. In this community, all children are raised collectively, and every person is considered a mother to all children. Men are beginning to experience pregnancy through artificial wombs that exist outside their bodies, resembling balloons, and children are nameless, referred to simply as “Kodomo-chan.” Will this new world finally cleanse Amane of her strangeness?

Sayaka Murata is the author of several books, including Convenience Store Woman, which won the Akutagawa Prize, Earthlings, and Life Ceremony. Freeman has recognized her as a “Future of New Writing” author, and Vogue Japan has honored her as a Woman of the Year.

Ginny Tapley Takemori has translated works from more than a dozen Japanese writers, including Ryu Murakami. She resides at the foot of a mountain in Eastern Japan.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!

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All Fours: A Novel

Read: May 2024

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All Fours: A Novel

by Miranda July

Today, I started reading All Fours: A Novel by Miranda July. A semi-famous artist announces her plan to drive cross-country from LA to NY. Thirty minutes after leaving her husband and child at home, she spontaneously exits the freeway, checks into a nondescript motel, and immerses herself in an entirely different journey.

Miranda July’s second novel, a testament to her unique approach to fiction, confirms the brilliance of her storytelling. With July’s wry voice, perfect comic timing, unabashed curiosity about human intimacy, and palpable delight in pushing boundaries, All Fours tells the story of one woman’s quest for a new kind of freedom. Part absurd entertainment, part tender reinvention of the sexual, romantic, and domestic life of a forty-five-year-old female artist, All Fours transcends expectation while excavating our beliefs about life as a woman. Once again, July hijacks the familiar and turns it into something new and thrillingly, profoundly alive.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

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The School for Good Mothers

Read: February 2023

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The School for Good Mothers

by Jessamine Chan

The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan is a searing page-turner that is also a transgressive novel of ideas about the perils of “perfect” upper-middle-class parenting; the violence enacted upon women by both the state and, at times, one another; the systems that separate families; and the boundlessness of love, The School for Good Mothers introduces, in Frida, an everywoman for the ages.

Although it has been forty-two years since I became a parent, I still remember the anxiety of being a father. What if I could not be a good dad? Fortunately, I never had a bad like Frida. or lived in an age where parents would be sent to “a Big Brother-like institution that measures the success or failure of a mother’s devotion.”

Reading The School for Good Mothers was a reminder that solutions like this are possible unless we are willing to invest in families so that the skills and support are there to resolve any issues in the home. As a widow, I found Frida’s inner dialogue comparable to the early stages of my grief journey—the total isolation and fear of failing dominated my first months of mourning.

The School for Good Mothers had been on my book list since the middle of last year. I recommend it without reservations! Jan would have already read it, and we would be debating its fine points.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In this taut and explosive debut novel, one lapse in judgement lands a young mother in a government reform program where custody of her child hangs in the balance.

Frida Liu is struggling. She doesn’t have a career worthy of her Chinese immigrant parents’ sacrifices. She can’t persuade her husband, Gust, to give up his wellness-obsessed younger mistress. Only with Harriet, their cherubic daughter, does Frida finally attain the perfection expected of her. Harriet may be all she has, but she is just enough.

Until Frida has a very bad day.

The state has its eyes on mothers like Frida. The ones who check their phones, letting their children get injured on the playground; who let their children walk home alone. Because of one moment of poor judgment, a host of government officials will now determine if Frida is a candidate for a Big Brother-like institution that measures the success or failure of a mother’s devotion.

Faced with the possibility of losing Harriet, Frida must prove that a bad mother can be redeemed. That she can learn to be good.

Using dark wit to explore the pains and joys of the deepest ties that bind us, Chan has written a modern literary classic.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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Whistler

Read: June 2026

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Whistler: A Novel

by Ann Patchett

Whistler, by Ann Patchett, tells the story of two adults reflecting on the choices they made and those made for them. It explores themes of bravery, memory, and the often small yet significant moments that shape our lives, as well as the inevitable loss that eventually touches us all. Beautiful in its simplicity, the novel ultimately reveals how love endures and how the experience of being truly known by another person—even for a brief time—can change everything.

When Daphne Fuller and her husband, Jonathan, visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art, they notice an older gentleman with white hair following them. This man turns out to be Eddie Triplett, Daphne’s former stepfather. He had been married to her mother for just over a year when Daphne was nine. Now fifty-three, Daphne hasn’t seen Eddie in many years, not since the event that changed the course of both their lives. Upon reuniting, time seems to vanish; despite their brief relationship, it had a profound impact on both of them, and now that they are together again, they have no intention of ever being separated again.

Ann Patchett is an accomplished author known for her novels, nonfiction works, and children’s books. Her most recent novel, Tom Lake, became a #1 New York Times bestseller. Patchett has received numerous awards, including the PEN/Faulkner Award, the Women’s Prize for Fiction in the UK, and the Book Sense Book of the Year Award.

Her novel The Dutch House was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize. Her works have been translated into more than thirty languages, and Time magazine recognized her as one of the 100 Most Influential People in the World. In honor of her contributions to American culture, President Biden awarded her the National Humanities Medal. She resides in Nashville, Tennessee, where she owns Parnassus Books.

Discover your next favorite book and explore curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. Your support truly helps me share more meaningful stories and insights with you, enriching your reading journey.

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Lucy by the Sea: A Novel

Read: November 2022

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Lucy by the Sea: A Novel

by Elizabeth Strout

Lucy by the Sea: A Novel by Elizabeth Strout is a poignant, pitch-perfect novel about a divorced couple stuck together during lockdown–and the love, loss, despair, and hope that animate us even as the world seems to be falling apart. Having lost Jan during Covid, I was apprehensive about reading this book. However, it was not only a page-turner but also a novel that gave me a new perspective on loss which helped me manage my grief.

With her trademark spare, crystalline prose, Elizabeth Strout turns her exquisitely tuned eye to the inner workings of the human heart, following the indomitable heroine of My Name Is Lucy Barton through the early days of the pandemic.

I highlighted several passages that specifically spoke to me.

We all live with people—and places—and things—that we have given great weight to. But we are weightless, in the end.

Who knows why people are different? We are born with a certain nature, I think. And then the world takes its swings at us.

It has been said that the second year of widowhood is worse than the first—the idea being, I think, that the shock has worn off and now one has to live with the loss, and I had been finding that to be true, even before I came to Maine with William. But now there were times I felt that I was just learning of David’s death again for the first time. And I would be privately staggered by grief. And to be in this place where David had never been (!)—I was really dislocated is what I mean.

And I also understood: Grief is a private thing. God, is it a private thing.

We are all in lockdown, all the time. We just don’t know it, that’s all. But we do the best we can. Most of us are just trying to get through.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

As a panicked world goes into lockdown, Lucy Barton is uprooted from her life in Manhattan and bundled away to a small town in Maine by her ex-husband and on-again, off-again friend, William. For the next several months, it’s just Lucy, William, and their complex past together in a little house nestled against the moody, swirling sea.

Rich with empathy and emotion, Lucy by the Sea vividly captures the fear and struggles that come with isolation, as well as the hope, peace, and possibilities that those long, quiet days can inspire. At the heart of this story are the deep human connections that unite us even when we’re apart–the pain of a beloved daughter’s suffering, the emptiness that comes from the death of a loved one, the promise of a new friendship, and the comfort of an old, enduring love.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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