Jan Lilien, the love of my life

Discovering Life’s Secret Sauce

Jan's Love is All I Ever Needed

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 29 seconds
Johnnie Caldwell Walker, My Grandmother

Johnnie Caldwell Walker, My Grandmother

As an eight-year-old, I once sat on a stool in my childhood home’s galley kitchen, seeking clarification from my grandmother about the meaning of “a little of this and a little of that.”

Although slightly disappointed, my grandmother quickly lifted my spirits by offering me a yummy chocolate chip cookie we had baked the day before. She explained that it merely referred to a small amount. Despite not receiving a complete response to my inquiry, I was grateful for the delicious treat.

Even though they were a day old, my grandmother’s cookies still had a buttery, melt-in-your-mouth texture. I understand that you want to write down the recipe, but some steps cannot be translated into specific measurements,” she commented.

I couldn’t respond immediately as I had just finished devouring the last of the cookie. After taking a sip of milk, I explained that while I knew the difference between cup sizes, teaspoons, and tablespoons, I was unsure about the amount of “a little” of certain ingredients. I want to improve my cooking skills and learn to measure ingredients better,” I explained.

My grandmother reassured me that I would better understand the measurements and quantities required for cooking as I grew older.

I confided in my grandmother about my lack of confidence in my cooking skills, feeling frustrated and inferior compared to her. My grandmother whispered that the secret to cooking and life was not a specific ingredient but learning to infuse everything with love. She hugged me and reassured me that being a great helper was an excellent place to start. Tears welled in my eyes, but I no longer felt embarrassed to cry in front of her.


As a child, I admired my grandmother’s cooking abilities and aspired to be as skilled as her one day. However, despite my best efforts, I am only a mediocre cook now that I am older.

For example, Jan requested that I prepare Matzoh Brie for her in her final days. I was unfamiliar with the recipe, but Jan kindly wrote it down. Following my grandmother’s advice, I added a generous amount of love while preparing it. This addition made the Matzoh Brie exceptional, and Jan couldn’t stop complimenting it as the most delicious meal she had ever eaten.

Even after Jan’s death, her love continues to inspire me. I can overcome challenges with confidence and grace by following her passion for life and infusing everything I do with her love.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Matzoh Brei for Jan!

In the kitchen, I followed her instructions step by step, with the only change I put in all my love into the Matzoh Brei. After some time, I went back upstairs and served her breakfast. I said, "Here you go, my love. Do you require anything else?"

Jan was in the middle of a call and shook her head negatively, so I quietly left the room and headed downstairs. As I reached the first floor, I overheard Jan exclaiming, "Wow, this is the best Matzoh Brei I've ever had!"

Love is the elusive yet essential ingredient that makes life complete and fulfilling.

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Fast Eating

Jan's Love is All I Ever Needed

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 29 seconds

Fast Eating

Recently, I have noticed that I devour my meals, even though I have never been a fan of fast food. I miss having my dear companion, Jan, by my side during mealtimes.

I rushed through my meals and cleaned up more efficiently without Jan. Unfortunately, I am left with nothing but the lonely hours of the night as my companion.

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Jan Lilien, the love of my life
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Half His Age

Read: January 2026

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Half His Age: A Novel

by Jennette McCurdy

Half His Age by Jennette McCurdy is a strikingly insightful and humorously poignant character study of a yearning seventeen-year-old girl who faces numerous obstacles—or attempts to overcome them—in her quest to be seen, desired, and loved. This novel is a blend of sadness, humor, and thrills, exploring themes of sex, consumerism, class, desire, loneliness, the internet, rage, intimacy, power, and the often misguided lengths we go to obtain what we want. The New York Times has listed it as one of “The Novels Everyone Will Be Talking About in 2026.”

Waldo is ravenous. Horny. Blunt. Naive. Wise. Impulsive. Lonely. Angry. Forceful. Hurting. Perceptive. Endlessly wanting. And the thing she wants most of all: Mr. Korgy, her creative writing teacher with the wife and the kid and the mortgage and the bills, with the dead dreams and the atrophied looks and the growing paunch. She doesn’t know why she wants him. Is it his passion? His life experience? The fact that he knows books and films and things that she doesn’t? Or is it purer than that, rooted in their unlikely connection, their kindred spirits, the similar filter with which they each take in the world around them? Or, it’s just enough that he sees her when no one else does.


Jennette McCurdy is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” which won the 2023 American Library Association Alex Award. The book has been published in over thirty countries and has sold more than three million copies. McCurdy is also creating, writing, and executive producing an Apple TV+ series loosely inspired by “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” starring Jennifer Aniston. Additionally, “Half His Age” is her debut novel.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Catch

Read: June 2025

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The Catch: A Novel

by Yrsa Daley-Ward

In “The Catch,” her captivating debut novel, Yrsa Daley-Ward creates a vibrant multiverse that delves into the complexities of daughterhood and mother-want. She explores the sacrifices women often make in their pursuit of self-actualization. The result is a remarkable novel that boldly poses the question: “How can it ever be a crime to choose yourself?”

Twin sisters Clara and Dempsey have always struggled to connect, their familial bond severed after their mother vanished into the Thames. As infants, they were adopted by different families: Clara went to live with a successful, upper-class couple, while a distant and unaffectionate city councilor took in Dempsey. As adults, the sisters have settled into a comfortable estrangement until Clara spots a woman on the streets of London who looks exactly like their mother. The twist? This version of Serene appears ageless and has lived a childless life — the very life she might have had if the girls had never been born.

As with most things, Clara and Dempsey cannot agree on the strange appearance of this woman. Clara, a celebrity author with a penchant for excessive drinking and one-night stands, is eager to welcome the confident and temperamental Serene into her home. In contrast, reclusive Dempsey, who makes a modest living doing menial data entry work from her apartment, is suspicious of the entire situation, believing it to be a cunning scheme by a con woman.

As the sisters clash over this stranger who increasingly intrudes into their lives, they hurtle toward a confrontation that threatens their very existence, ultimately forcing them to face their shared past together.


Yrsa Daley-Ward is a poet, writer, and actress. She is the author of The Howbone, and The Terrible, for which she won the PEN Ackerley Prize. She lives in Los Angeles.



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Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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Look What You Made Me Do

Read: May 2026

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Look What You Made Me Do

by John Lanchester

Look What You Made Me Do” by John Lanchester is a darkly comedic tale that delves deep into the intricate web of love, trust, resentment, and entitlement. The narrative weaves the lives of two women from contrasting generations, drawing them into a thrilling conflict where wits and wills are tested to the limit. As tension mounts and secrets unravel, only one will rise to claim victory in this captivating showdown.

“Every successful marriage has its own private language.” So it is for baby boomer Kate and her beloved architect husband Jack, thirty years into their seemingly idyllic life in metropolitan North London. And so it is for spiky millennial screenwriter Phoebe and her charming loafer of a partner, Tony.

But when Phoebe’s steamy television series, Cheating, becomes the year’s most talked-about show, Kate thinks she sees details and intimacies of her marriage in it that only she and her husband could have known. Who has betrayed whom? Who has stolen whose story―and why?


John Lanchester is the author of five novels, including the best-selling *The Debt to Pleasure* and *Capital*. His works have received several accolades, including the Hawthornden Prize, the Whitbread First Novel Award, and the E. M. Forster Award. His books have also been longlisted for the Booker Prize and translated into more than twenty-five languages. Lanchester is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and The New York Review of Books. He resides in London.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Supporting these selections not only helps me continue to provide you with personalized recommendations but also ensures you have access to meaningful stories that enrich your life. Your support truly makes a difference in helping me share more books and insights with you!


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The Singing Word

Read: September 2025

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The Singing Word

by Walt Hunter

The Singing Word: 168 Years of Atlantic Poetry, edited by Walt Hunter, celebrates the people, land, and spirit of America. This remarkable collection showcases a wide range of contemporary and historical poetry from the 168-year archive of The Atlantic magazine. Since its first issue in 1857, the poetry published in The Atlantic has drawn attention to the nation’s ongoing journey of self-discovery.

The magazine’s verse has featured odes to American leaders and landscapes, laments for the dead, and calls for change, appealing to the enduring ideals of Atlantic readers.

This one-of-a-kind collection selects poems of rousing optimism, clear-eyed realism, and moving lyricism—poems infused with the language of America’s songs, myths, and history, from the Civil War up through the present in three rich parts: National Anthems, Natural Lines, and Personal Mythologies.

Curated by The Atlantic’s Poetry Editor, this anthology features both world-famous poets—from Longfellow to Limón, including Robert Frost, W. S. Merwin, Sylvia Plath, and Adrienne Rich—as well as poets whose work has never before been published outside of the magazine.

Offering readers an essential understanding of American canon and the evolving nation, its poets have yearned to capture—the poetry of The Atlantic is the poetry of America.


Walt Hunter is a professor of twentieth- and twenty-first-century literature and chair of the English department at Case Western Reserve University. He is also the fiction and poetry editor for The Atlantic.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Mercury: A Novel

Read: January 2024

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Mercury: A Novel

by Amy Jo Burns

Today, I started reading Mercury: A Novel about a roofing family. The family’s bond of loyalty is tested when they uncover a long-hidden secret at the heart of their blue-collar town. The book is written by Amy Jo Burns, the author of the critically acclaimed novel Shiner, which I read and enjoyed in 2022. I highly recommend it.

The story is set in 1990, and it follows the journey of a seventeen-year-old girl named Marley West, who arrives in the river valley town of Mercury, Pennsylvania. She is a loner who is looking for a place to belong. The first thing she sees when she gets to town is three men standing on a rooftop, and they soon become her whole world.

Marley becomes a young wife to one of the Joseph brothers, The One Who Got Away to another, and an adopted mother to all of them. Marley guides these unruly men as their mother fades away and their roofing business crumbles under the weight of their unwieldy father’s inflated ego. Years later, an eerie discovery in the church attic causes old wounds to resurface, and suddenly, the family’s survival hangs in the balance.

With Marley as their guide, the Joseph brothers must decide whether they can save the family they’ve always known or build something more substantial in its place.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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My Evil Mother: A Short Story

Read: April 2022

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My Evil Mother: A Short Story

by Margaret Atwood

My Evil Mother: A Short Story by Margaret Atwood was a free book with your Prime Reading membership. I have always enjoyed reading Ms. Atwood’s books. My Evil Mother was an enjoyable read and reminded me why she is a great author and why short stories are unique and special. As the NY Times described, My Evil Mother, is a bittersweet short story about mothers, daughters’ witches’ brew of love—and control. I highly recommend it as it is one of my best books this year. 

Goodreads provides a concise overview.

Life is hard enough for a teenage girl in 1950s suburbia without having a mother who may—or may not—be a witch. A single mother at that. Sure, she fits in with her starched dresses, string of pearls, and floral aprons. Then there are the hushed and mystical consultations with neighborhood women in distress. The unsavory, mysterious plants in the flower beds. The divined warning to steer clear of a boyfriend whose fate is certainly doomed. But as the daughter of this bewitching homemaker comes of age and her mother’s claims become more and more outlandish, she begins to question everything she once took for granted.

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