Love

Richard’s journey of love with Jan and now without her.

I am an Incurable Romantic, and My Life is an Open Book

The essence of life lies in living it to the fullest, but what if we find ourselves living it all alone? The words of Lauren Groff from her book “The Vaster Wilds” resonate with my situation, as she rightly pointed out that to exist alone and survive is not the same as being alive. Although I strive to make the most of my life by reading, writing, walking, offering help to others, and serving as the board chair for Bridges, I still feel that I am merely surviving from one day to the next.

Continue reading →

Jan Reminded Me That
All I Need is Love!

Walking down Alden Street, I noticed Chris smoking a cigarette outside Ambelis Greek Taverna, his restaurant. He saw me and exclaimed, “Richard!” in a loud voice that could have woken up the entire neighborhood. His enthusiasm made me smile. He asked me how I was doing, and his concern seemed genuine. Even though I wasn’t alright, I muttered that I was, but my answer wasn’t convincing. Being a good friend, Chris said something that sounded straight from my vocabulary: “Let me know if I can be of any help.” His kindness warmed my heart. He had to go back inside, but not before giving me a bear hug, which I happily accepted.

Continue reading →

Walking Clears My Head. Will it Give Me a Longer, Healthy Life?

After my wife passed away, my life took a new direction, one focused on health, novelty, community, and purpose. I found solace in walking, reading, working with Bridges and others in my community, and searching for meaning and purpose. Despite my efforts to explain why these activities have become essential to me, some people believe that I am being obsessive-compulsive. However, these are the ways to choose life over grieving. Every step I take, every page I turn, and every hour I contribute to Bridges contributes to my progress toward building a beloved community

Continue reading →

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Heart of a Stranger

Read: February 2026

Get this book

Heart of a Stranger

by Rabbi Angela Warnick Buchdahl

In “Heart of a Stranger,” Angela Buchdahl shares her journey from feeling like an outsider to becoming an officiant. She describes her transformation from estrangement to belonging, ultimately emerging with a deep conviction that we are all connected to a larger whole and purpose. Her book serves as both a memoir and a spiritual guide for everyday living, addressing a need that many of us experience today. As the first Asian American ordained as a rabbi, she offers a compelling account of her evolution into one of the world’s most respected religious leaders.

Angela Buchdahl was born in Seoul, the daughter of a Korean Buddhist mother and Jewish American father. Profoundly spiritual from a young age, by sixteen, she felt the first stirrings to become a rabbi. Despite the naysayers and periods of self-doubt—Would a mixed-race woman ever be seen as authentically Jewish or chosen to lead a congregation?—she stayed the course, which took her first to Yale, then to rabbinical school, and finally to the pulpit of one of the largest, most influential congregations in the world.

Today, Angela Buchdahl inspires Jews and non-Jews alike with her invigorating, joyful approach to worship and her belief in the power of faith, gratitude, and responsibility for one another, regardless of religion. She does not shy away from difficult topics, from racism within the Jewish community and the sexism she confronted when she aspired to the top job, to rising antisemitism today. Buchdahl teaches how these challenges, which can make one feel like a stranger, can ultimately be the source of our greatest empathy and strength.

While reading this book, I experienced a revival and deepening of my faith. “Heart of a Stranger,” “Man’s Search for Meaning,” “Judaism is About Love,” “Hostage,” and “The Amen Effect” are all cherished titles that I will reference and reread for years to come.


Angela Buchdahl is the first Asian American rabbi. She serves as the Senior Rabbi of Central Synagogue in New York City, the first woman to lead this flagship congregation in its 185-year history. Under her leadership, Central has grown into one of the largest synagogues in the world, with live-stream viewers in more than 100 countries. She has led prayers in the White House for two U.S. presidents and has been featured on national news outlets, including Today, NPR, and The Wall Street Journal, to discuss the day’s moral issues.

Rabbi Buchdahl and her husband live in New York City and have three children.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


×
Mother Mary Comes to Me

Read: December 2025

Get this book

Mother Mary Comes to Me

by Arundhati Roy

Mother Mary Comes to Me,” Arundhati Roy‘s first memoir, is an intimate and inspiring account of how she became the person and writer she is today. It explores how her life was shaped by various circumstances, particularly her complex relationship with her extraordinary mother, whom she describes as “my shelter and my storm.” The book has been named one of the New York Times Book Review’s Top Ten Books of 2025 and is a finalist for the Kirkus Prize.

Devastated by her mother Mary’s death in September 2022, Roy experienced a mix of confusion and shame over the depth of her emotions. She began writing to understand her feelings for the mother she had distanced herself from at eighteen, not out of a lack of love, but to preserve her ability to love her. Her writing marks the beginning of an astonishing, often disturbing, and surprisingly humorous memoir that chronicles the author’s journey from her childhood in Kerala, India, where her single mother founded a school, to her accomplishments as a prize-winning novelist and essayist, and continues to the present day.

With the scope, richness, and emotional depth characteristic of her novels, “The God of Small Things” and “The Ministry of Utmost Happiness“, as well as the passion, political insight, and warmth found in her essays, “Mother Mary Comes to Me” serves as an ode to freedom and a tribute to complicated love and fierce grace—a memoir unlike any other.


Arundhati Roy is the author of “The God of Small Things,” which won the Booker Prize in 1997, and “The Ministry of Utmost Happiness,” a novel translated into more than 40 languages and longlisted for the Man Booker Prize in 2017. Roy has also published several nonfiction works, including “The End of Imagination,” “The Doctor and the Saint,” “My Seditious Heart,” and “Azadi.” In 2023, she received the prestigious European Essay Prize for lifetime achievement, and in 2024, she received the PEN Pinter Prize for telling “urgent stories of injustice with wit and beauty.” She resides in Delhi.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


×
A Guardian and a Thief

Read: October 2025

Get this book

A Guardian and a Thief

by Megha Majumdar

Set over the course of one week, A Guardian and a Thief, by Megha Majumdar, a finalist in the fiction category for the 2025 National Book Award, tells two stories: Ma’s frantic search for the thief while keeping hunger at bay amid a worsening food shortage. The tale of Boomba, the thief, whose desperation to care for his family drives him to commit a series of escalating crimes whose consequences he cannot fathom.

With stunning control and command, Megha Majumdar paints a kaleidoscopic portrait of two families, each operating from a place of ferocious love and undefeated hope, each discovering how far they will go to secure their children’s future as they stave off encroaching catastrophe.

In a near-future Kolkata, Ma, her two-year-old daughter, and her elderly father are just days from leaving the collapsing city behind to join Ma’s husband in Ann Arbor, Michigan. After procuring long-awaited visas from the consulate, they pack their bags for the flight to America. But in the morning, they awaken to discover that Ma’s purse, containing their treasured immigration documents, has been stolen.

A masterful new work from one of the most exciting voices of her generation.


Megha Majumdar is the author of the bestselling novel A Burning, which has been recognized by the New York Times and nominated for several prestigious awards, including the National Book Award, the National Book Critics Circle’s John Leonard Prize, and the American Library Association’s Andrew Carnegie Medal. The book “A Burning” was recognized as one of the best of the year by various media outlets, including The Washington Post, The New York Times, NPR, The Atlantic, Vogue, and TIME Magazine.

In 2022, she received a Whiting Award. Born and raised in Kolkata, India, Majumdar holds degrees in anthropology from Harvard University and Johns Hopkins University. She is the former editor-in-chief of Catapult Books and currently resides in New York.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


×
Tom Lake

Read: August 2023

Get this book

Tom Lake: A Novel

by Ann Patchett

Today, I began reading Tom Lake by Ann Patchett. The novel beautifully explores family, love, and growing up. Patchett once again proves herself as one of America’s finest writers. Both hopeful and mournful, it explores happiness even when the world falls apart.

The story follows Lara’s three daughters, who return to the family’s orchard in Northern Michigan in the spring of 2020. While picking cherries, they ask their mother about Peter Duke, a famous actor with whom she had a romance years before at a theater company called Tom Lake.

As Lara reminisces, her daughters are confronted with their own lives and relationships with their mothers, leading them to reevaluate everything they thought they knew. With its hopeful and mournful tone, the novel is a testament to the transformative power of understanding what happiness truly means, even amid chaos. Patchett’s compelling narrative artistry and profound insights into family dynamics weave a rich and luminous story, showcasing why she is one of our time’s most revered and acclaimed literary talents.

I have also read Patchett’s Bel Canto, a compelling tale that explores themes of strength, vulnerability, love, and confinement. It ultimately tells an inspiring story of transcendent romance.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



×
Us Fools

Read: November 2024

Get this book

Us Fools: A Novel

by Nora Lange

Today, I embarked on the journey of Us Fools by Nora Lange. This poignant and personal American narrative is about two remarkable sisters who, against all odds, come of age during the Midwestern farm crisis of the 1980s. In her debut novel, Nora Lange has crafted a lively, ambitious, and heart-wrenching portrait of two unique sisters determined to persevere despite the harsh realities of capitalism and their circumstances. After a pivotal national election, this seemed like the perfect book to read.

Joanne and Bernadette Fareown, born and raised on a family farm in rural Illinois, are deeply impacted by their parents’ tumultuous relationship and mounting financial debt, haunted by the unsettling history of the women in their family. Left to fend for themselves, the sisters delve into Greek mythology, feminism, and Virginia Woolf. As they grapple with these trying circumstances, they must devise unique coping mechanisms and question the validity of the American Dream. At the same time, the rest of the nation disregards their struggling community.

Jo and Bernie’s imaginative efforts to escape their parents’ harsh realities ultimately fall short, prompting the family to relocate to Chicago. There, Joanne—free-spirited, reckless, and struggling to manage her inner turmoil—rebels in increasingly desperate ways. After undergoing her most significant breakdown yet, Jo goes into exile in Deadhorse, Alaska. Bernadette takes it upon herself to apply everything she has learned from her sister to rekindle a sense of hope in a failing world.

×
Clean: A Novel

Read: October 2024

Get this book

Clean: A Novel

by Alia Trabucco Zerán

Today, I delved into the unique narrative of ‘Clean: A Novel‘ by Alia Trabucco Zerán, translated by Sophie Hughes. This compelling novel, shortlisted for the Femina Etranger and Medicis Etranger Prizes, unfolds the story of a maid who has witnessed a lot and a family on the brink of collapse. The narrative is centered around a young girl’s death, with the family’s maid being the critical witness under interrogation, tasked with recounting the events leading up to the tragedy.

Estela’s journey from the countryside, leaving her mother behind, to work for the señor and señora when their only child was born is poignant. Their ad for a housemaid: ‘Smart appearance, full-time,’ was her ticket to earning enough to support her mother and return home. Estela cleaned their laundry, wiped their floors, and made their meals for seven years, but she also became privy to their secrets, witnessed their conflicts, and raised their daughter. She heard the rats in the ceiling, saw the looks the señor gave the señora, and knew about the poison in the cabinet, the gun, the daughter’s rebellion, the mother’s coldness, and the father’s distance. She experienced it all.

After a series of shocking betrayals and revelations, Estela’s silence becomes her shield, broken only now to reveal how it all unraveled. Is this a tale of vengeance or a confession? A clash of classes or a lesson in caution? With each page turn, ‘Clean: A Novel‘ builds tension, offering a gripping, incisive exploration of power, domesticity, and betrayal from an international star at the peak of her storytelling prowess.

×