Ten Rules for a Good Life

Ten Rules for a Good Life

Improving Myself One Day at a Time

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 49 seconds

Ten Rules for a Good Life

Instead of making resolutions, let us strive to improve ourselves every day and become the best version of ourselves. In August, Arthur C. Brooks wrote an essay about Aristotle’s 10 Rules for a Good Life in The Atlantic. Despite being proposed over 2,000 years ago, these virtues can still guide us to live well today.

In addition, Mr. Brooks has  “A Guide to Pointing Yourself Toward Happiness.” You can flip the cards for advice every day in January. I have been doing this for years, and it has helped me stay focused and happy despite life’s challenges, including being a widow.

You can read the full article on the ten rules for a good life online by subscribing to the Atlantic or opening this PDF. Mr. Brooks has also provided an abbreviated list that you can easily refer to by placing it on your fridge or at the bottom of your computer screen.

  1. Name your fears and face them.
  2. Know your appetites and control them.
  3. Be neither a cheapskate nor a spendthrift.
  4. Give as generously as you can.
  5. Focus more on the transcendent; disregard the trivial.
  6. True strength is a controlled temper.
  7. Never lie, especially to yourself.
  8. Stop struggling for your fair share.
  9. Forgive others and forbear their weaknesses.
  10. Define your morality; live up to it, even in private.

Becoming the best version of oneself is a noble goal that requires time, effort, and dedication. It may not always be easy to follow rules and turn them into habits, but the reward of experiencing happiness is worth it. Even if we occasionally falter, our commitment to making these habits a part of our lives will help us achieve our aspirations and become the best version of ourselves.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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A Repetitive Year Ends

Looking ahead to the future, I feel a sense of liberation as I break free from the walls that have held me back, knowing that I am becoming the best version of myself. As the board chair of Bridges, I am excited to play my part, Tikun Olam, in repairing the world and contributing to ending homelessness.

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Walking and Reading Daily!

Improving Myself One Day at a Time

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 49 seconds

Walking and Reading Daily!

I follow a set of routines. Since my wife passed away, two habits that have been particularly important for me are walking and reading. They have become an essential part of my daily life and have helped me maintain a sense of balance and structure amidst the chaos of everyday life.

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Ten Rules for a Good Life
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The Corrections: A Novel

Read: September 2024

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The Corrections: A Novel

by Jonathan Franzen

Today, I embarked on a profound exploration of the human condition through Jonathan Franzen‘s ‘The Corrections: A Novel.’ It guides us from the heart of the Midwest in the mid-century to the bustling streets of Wall Street and the enigmatic landscapes of Eastern Europe. It’s no surprise that it’s hailed as one of The New York Times 100 Best Books of the 21st Century.

Jonathan Franzen‘s ‘The Corrections: A Novel‘ is not just a family saga but a profound critique of our modern society. It’s a work of art that delves into the issues of our new century, enlightening us with its insights. Franzen masterfully juxtaposes the old-fashioned America of freight trains, civic responsibility, and holiday treats with the modern absurdities of neuroscience, home surveillance, hands-off parenting, DIY mental health care, and the anti-gravity New Economy. It’s a narrative that will evoke laughter, tears, and deep contemplation. Through ‘The Corrections,’ Franzen establishes himself as one of the leading interpreters of American society and the American spirit.

Enid Lambert is distraught. She conceals her anxiety from her neighbors and adult children, but her husband, Alfred, is slipping into a world of his own. Whether it’s the medication for his Parkinson’s disease or his pessimism, he’s becoming increasingly detached. His days are spent brooding in the basement, engaging in mysterious, unsettling actions, and struggling to understand Enid’s words. The depth of their struggle is palpable, drawing the reader into their world.

Trouble also brews in the lives of Enid’s children. Her eldest son, Gary, a banker in Philadelphia, has become callous and materialistic, trying to push his parents out of their old home and into a small apartment. The middle child, Chip, has abruptly quit his exciting job as a professor at D—— College for no discernible reason. He moved to New York City, seemingly embracing a “transgressive” lifestyle while working on a screenplay. Meanwhile, the youngest, Denise, has left her disastrous marriage only to waste her youth and beauty on an affair with a married man—or so Gary implies.

Enid, a lover of life’s pleasures, still looks forward to a final family Christmas and the upcoming Nordic Pleasurelines Luxury Fall Color Cruise with Alfred. However, his growing confusion and instability threaten these remaining joys. As Alfred’s condition worsens, the Lamberts must confront their family’s past failures, secrets, and long-buried wounds. Yet, in this journey of confrontation and reconciliation, the hope for a better future emerges.

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Half in Shadow

Read: December 2021

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Half in Shadow: A Novel

by Gemma Liviero

Half in Shadow by Gemma Liviero is an unforgettable novel about courage, love, and consequences at the dawn of World War I. In German-occupied Belgium, a tragic loss forces Josephine Descharmes to navigate dangerous new territory. By day it’s compliance, serving German officers at the Hotel Métropole. By night it’s resistance, working with her brothers underground to help Allied soldiers and civilians across the border into Holland. Both paths put her and her family at significant risk.

Before Jan’s death, I preferred to read non-fiction or fiction about historical events. Although I had read nothing by the author before this novel, I decided to read based on the summary. When I finished the book, the author described her goal as a writer in a manner that confirmed my decision.

“Much of my aim in the stories I write is to put human faces, be they fictional, to the many who lived through these events and imagine the experiences and reactions by innocent parties thrust into such situations.”

— Half in Shadow: A Novel by Gemma Liviero

Josephine’s involvement in the resistance begins slowly and gains strength with every page. Her brothers Eugene, Xavier, and her mother become realistic due to the precise writing of Ms. Liviero.

Arthur, the English soldier who falls in love with Josephine, becomes an equal member of the resistance and the family. Franz, the German in love with Josephine, is not as strongly defined as appropriate as he is the enemy.

The Amazon overview provides a brief overview of the novel.

As Josephine struggles to keep her family safe, Arthur, a grief-stricken English soldier trapped behind enemy lines, finds purpose and hope with Josephine and her work. Meanwhile, Franz, a German officer remorseful for war casualties, offers her protection and opportunity. These two men from opposing sides will open her heart and test her loyalties.

Amid the sorrows of war and threats of mortal danger and betrayal, Josephine must steer her fate. In a country deprived of freedom, she will make an impossible choice—one that will forever impact the family she cherishes and the man she loves.

The book’s conclusion, which I will not reveal, brings together all of the novel’s threads in a way that reminded me of the power of love and family.

This is one of the best books I have ever read. I highly recommend it.

Half in Shadow is the first time I have gotten a book from Amazon First Reads. I highly recommend First Reads as a way to read books earlier than their regular release. Half in Shadow is not scheduled to be published until January 1, 2022.

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The Singing Word

Read: September 2025

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The Singing Word

by Walt Hunter

The Singing Word: 168 Years of Atlantic Poetry, edited by Walt Hunter, celebrates the people, land, and spirit of America. This remarkable collection showcases a wide range of contemporary and historical poetry from the 168-year archive of The Atlantic magazine. Since its first issue in 1857, the poetry published in The Atlantic has drawn attention to the nation’s ongoing journey of self-discovery.

The magazine’s verse has featured odes to American leaders and landscapes, laments for the dead, and calls for change, appealing to the enduring ideals of Atlantic readers.

This one-of-a-kind collection selects poems of rousing optimism, clear-eyed realism, and moving lyricism—poems infused with the language of America’s songs, myths, and history, from the Civil War up through the present in three rich parts: National Anthems, Natural Lines, and Personal Mythologies.

Curated by The Atlantic’s Poetry Editor, this anthology features both world-famous poets—from Longfellow to Limón, including Robert Frost, W. S. Merwin, Sylvia Plath, and Adrienne Rich—as well as poets whose work has never before been published outside of the magazine.

Offering readers an essential understanding of American canon and the evolving nation, its poets have yearned to capture—the poetry of The Atlantic is the poetry of America.


Walt Hunter is a professor of twentieth- and twenty-first-century literature and chair of the English department at Case Western Reserve University. He is also the fiction and poetry editor for The Atlantic.



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Happiness Falls: A Novel

Read: September 2023

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Happiness Falls: A Novel

by Angie Kim

I highly recommend reading Happiness Falls, a book authored by Angie Kim. The story is about a family’s search for their missing father, which leads them to question their beliefs and relationships. The award-winning author of Miracle Creek writes this thrilling and emotionally profound book.

We didn’t call the police right away.” These are the first words of an extraordinary novel about a biracial Korean-American family in Virginia whose lives are upended when their beloved father and husband go missing.

Mia, the irreverent, hyper-analytical twenty-year-old daughter, has an explanation for everything—which is why she isn’t initially concerned when her father and younger brother Eugene don’t return from a walk in a nearby park. They must have lost their phone and or stopped for an errand somewhere. But by the time Mia’s brother runs through the front door bloody and alone, it becomes clear that the father in this tight-knit family is missing, and the only witness is Eugene, who has the rare genetic condition Angelman syndrome and cannot speak.

Happiness Falls is a gripping investigation that centers around a father’s disappearance and the intricate dynamics of his family. As the clock ticks, the family’s deepest secrets come to light, raising questions about love, communication, and the human experience. This novel is a thrilling blend of mystery, drama, and philosophical exploration, showcasing Angie Kim’s remarkable storytelling skills that garnered her numerous accolades for her debut novel, Miracle Creek. Through the family’s journey, Kim offers a fresh perspective on the missing person story, creating a memorable tale of a family that goes to great lengths to understand each other.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.


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The New Wilderness

Read: October 2021

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The New Wilderness

by Diane Cook

The New Wilderness by Diane Cook. The New Wilderness is a timely book and one that resonated with me. When Jan and I met in 1973, it was a revolutionary time with movements encouraging communes and returning to the farm. Neither Jan nor I were interested in living in a commune. Reading this book helped reassure me that we made the correct choice.

The summary of the book is:

Margaret Atwood meets Miranda July in this wildly imaginative debut novel of a mother’s battle to save her daughter in a world ravaged by climate change; A prescient and suspenseful book from the author of the acclaimed story collection, Man V. Nature.

Bea’s five-year-old daughter, Agnes, is slowly wasting away, consumed by the smog and pollution of the overdeveloped metropolis that most of the population now calls home. If they stay in the city, Agnes will die. There is only one alternative: the Wilderness State, the last swath of untouched, protected land, where people have always been forbidden. Until now.

Bea, Agnes, and eighteen others volunteer to live in the Wilderness State, guinea pigs in an experiment to see if humans can exist in nature without destroying it. Living as nomadic hunter-gatherers, they slowly and painfully learn to survive in an unpredictable, dangerous land, bickering and battling for power and control as they betray and save one another. But as Agnes embraces the wild freedom of this new existence, Bea realizes that saving her daughter’s life means losing her in a different way. The farther they get from civilization, the more their bond is tested in astonishing and heartbreaking ways.

At once a blazing lament of our contempt for nature and a deeply humane portrayal of motherhood and what it means to be human, The New Wilderness is an extraordinary novel from a one-of-a-kind literary force.

When I finished this book, I read Pompeii Still Has Buried Secrets by  in The New Yorker. It reminded me of all of the threats to civilization that we face, who will be Pliny the Younger to be “the only surviving eyewitness account of the disaster.” Fleeing our cities for the wilderness is no longer an option!

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The Field of Blood: Violence in Congress and the Road to Civil War

Read: March 2019

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The Field of Blood

by Joanne B. Freeman

The Field of Blood: Violence in Congress and the Road to Civil War by Joanne B. Freeman, Professor of History and American Studies at Yale University, is a must-read in our hyper-partisan times. The partisanship and divisiveness of the period before the Civil War have many parallels to our time, and the difference is the violence of the Civil War era. Professor Freeman recovers the long-lost story of physical violence on the floor of the U.S. Congress.

She can do this by first source materials from Benjamin Brown French. He was never elected to office but was an acquaintance of twelve consecutive presidents, from Andrew Jackson to Ulysses S. Grant. In addition, he maintained a diary for forty years that highlighted the violence and his and the nation’s political transformation.

During much of this period, he was the Clerk in the House.  His diary documents the violence that did not get covered by the press. Legislative sessions included mortal threats, canings, flipped desks, and all-out slugfests. When debate broke down, members of Congress drew pistols and waved Bowie knives. One representative even killed another in a duel. Many were beaten and bullied in an attempt to intimidate them into compliance, particularly on the issue of slavery.

The Field of Blood is one of four books I purchased after my first One Day University class.

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