Grief Journey

Richard’s Grief Journey from the Island of Grief back to the land of love.

Love Never Dies
It Only Grows Stronger

“I wish you were going with me,” Jan said as she looked at Broadway from the curved entrance to her apartment building. The wind was mild, but being in the entranceway, it was as if we were standing in a wind tunnel. Not seeing her parent’s car, she turned towards me, and we embraced. I told her I wanted to go with her even though we had agreed it was too soon for her to invite me home for Thanksgiving. We had only been together for eleven days. 

She pulled away from me to keep an eye on the street. From the first day she talked about her plans for Thanksgiving, Jan had been clear that it was not the time for me to meet her parents.

Until last night, I had held out hope that she might change her mind. We had baked together in her apartment’s teeny, tiny kitchen. I hoped she would change her mind and call them to add a chair to the table. 

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The Most Beautiful Things are
Felt With the Heart!

“I would give you a call, but…” I said to Jan as we stood on the steps of SERA in the Bronx, where she worked. Before I could end the sentence, she handed me a folded piece of paper from a tiny notebook she had taken from her purse. I unfolded it, and as I read it, I smiled. Not only did I have her phone number, but I also had her last name. Jan Lilien. Jan Lilien. What a beautiful name! We both had smiles bigger than all of the Big Apple. I placed the paper she gave me in my shirt pocket by my heart. 

We had walked to her job this morning, and it was as if we were the only people on that route. Toward the end, she mentioned how nice it was to have someone to walk and talk to on the way to work. I nodded and said with a wink, “I’m happy to do this every day!”

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Sunday, April 24, 2022, at 2 PM

On Sunday, April 24, 2022, at 2 pm in Hanson Park in Cranford, NJ, we held Celebrate Jan Lilien Day. We celebrated her life as we dedicate and break ground on a living memorial for her in the park.

Celebrate Jan Day was a success. One hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to celebrate her life as we dedicate and break ground on a living memorial for her in the park.

Video clips of all of the speeches from Celebrate Jan Day are not available.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Half His Age

Read: January 2026

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Half His Age: A Novel

by Jennette McCurdy

Half His Age by Jennette McCurdy is a strikingly insightful and humorously poignant character study of a yearning seventeen-year-old girl who faces numerous obstacles—or attempts to overcome them—in her quest to be seen, desired, and loved. This novel is a blend of sadness, humor, and thrills, exploring themes of sex, consumerism, class, desire, loneliness, the internet, rage, intimacy, power, and the often misguided lengths we go to obtain what we want. The New York Times has listed it as one of “The Novels Everyone Will Be Talking About in 2026.”

Waldo is ravenous. Horny. Blunt. Naive. Wise. Impulsive. Lonely. Angry. Forceful. Hurting. Perceptive. Endlessly wanting. And the thing she wants most of all: Mr. Korgy, her creative writing teacher with the wife and the kid and the mortgage and the bills, with the dead dreams and the atrophied looks and the growing paunch. She doesn’t know why she wants him. Is it his passion? His life experience? The fact that he knows books and films and things that she doesn’t? Or is it purer than that, rooted in their unlikely connection, their kindred spirits, the similar filter with which they each take in the world around them? Or, it’s just enough that he sees her when no one else does.


Jennette McCurdy is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” which won the 2023 American Library Association Alex Award. The book has been published in over thirty countries and has sold more than three million copies. McCurdy is also creating, writing, and executive producing an Apple TV+ series loosely inspired by “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” starring Jennifer Aniston. Additionally, “Half His Age” is her debut novel.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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On the Rooftop: A Novel

Read: November 2022

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On the Rooftop: A Novel

by Margaret Wilkerson Sexton

On the Rooftop: A Novel by Margaret Wilkerson Sexton, is a stunning novel about a mother whose dream of musical stardom for her three daughters collides with the daughters’ ambitions for their own lives—set against the backdrop of gentrifying 1950s San Francisco. The first few pages moved glacially and then the story unfolded fully and became a page-turner that I highly recommend.

After hearing Ms. Sexton’s interview on Get Lit with All Of It, a monthly on-air, social media, in-person, and live-stream book club hosted by Alison Stewart of WNYC’s All Of It, I picked up the book. The novel had been on my to-read list.

The novel was loosely based on Fiddler on the Roof and it worked exceedingly well. Vivian is the overbearing mother and the daughters who have their own dreams and goals. With urban renewal, AKA Urban Renewal, as the backdrop, the novel was one that I could not put down.

The small section of the song that Esther writes so she can sing for her people, was a song I wish I could hear in its entirety. That Chole choose to sing it for final audition made it even more powerful.

You put words to the music inside my heart You showed me the world could be its own art I’d never felt myself so whole before I’d never known how much I could reach for.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

At home they are just sisters, but on stage, they are The Salvations. Ruth, Esther, and Chloe have been singing and dancing in harmony since they could speak. Thanks to the rigorous direction of their mother, Vivian, they’ve become a bona fide girl group whose shows are the talk of the Jazz-era Fillmore.

Now Vivian has scored a once-in-a-lifetime offer from a talent manager, who promises to catapult The Salvations into the national spotlight. Vivian knows this is the big break she’s been praying for. But sometime between the hours of rehearsal on their rooftop and the weekly gigs at the Champagne Supper Club, the girls have become women, women with dreams that their mother cannot imagine.

The neighborhood is changing, too: all around the Fillmore, white men in suits are approaching Black property owners with offers. One sister finds herself called to fight back, one falls into the comfort of an old relationship, and another yearns to make her voice heard. And Vivian, who has always maintained control, will have to confront the parts of her life that threaten to splinter: the community, The Salvations, and even her family.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Do You Remember Being Born?: A Novel

Read: September 2023

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Do You Remember Being Born?

by Sean Michaels

I started reading “Do You Remember Being Born?” by Sean Michaels, a writer who won the Scotiabank Giller Prize. The novel is about an aging poet named Marian Ffarmer, a legend in the world of poetry. However, despite her success, she struggles with financial issues and her son’s inability to buy a house. Marian has sacrificed her personal relationships and happiness to pursue her career but questions whether it is worth it.

One day, she receives an invitation from a Tech Company to travel to California and work with their poetry AI, Charlotte. The company wants her to co-author a poem with their bot in a historic partnership, which clashes with Marian’s beliefs about the individual pursuit of art. However, she decides to take this opportunity, even though it makes her feel like a sell-out and a skeptic. The encounter in California changes her life, work, and understanding of kinship.

The book explores the nature of language, art, labor, capital, family, and community. It’s a response to some of the most disquieting questions of our time. The author, Sean Michaels, is a winner of the Scotiabank Giller Prize, and his book is a love letter to and interrogation of the creative legacy. It’s a joyful recognition that belonging to one’s art must mean belonging to the world to survive meaningfully.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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This Is Not About Us

Read: February 2026

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This Is Not About Us

by Allegra Goodman

In This Is Not About Us, master storyteller Allegra Goodman—who received praise for her previous collection in the Boston Globe as “one of the most astute and engaging books about American family life“—explores familiar themes and styles that have captivated countless readers. The New York Times has listed it as one of “The Novels Everyone Will Be Talking About in 2026.”

When their beloved sister passes away, Sylvia and Helen Rubinstein are unmoored. A misunderstanding about apple cake turns into a decade of stubborn silence. Busy with their own lives—divorces, dating, career setbacks, college applications, bat mitzvahs, and ballet recitals—their children do not want to get involved. As for their grandchildren? Impossible.

Sharply observed and laced with humor, This Is Not About Us is a story of growing up and growing old, the weight of parental expectations, and the complex connection between sisters—a big-hearted book about the love that binds a family across generations.


Allegra Goodman is the author of seven novels, including the national bestseller Isola, selected as a Reese’s Book Club pick. She has also written two collections of short stories and a novel for young readers. Her fiction has appeared in The New Yorker and elsewhere, and anthologized in The O. Henry Awards and Best American Short Stories. She lives with her family in Cambridge, Massachusetts.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Café with No Name

Read: May 2025

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The Café with No Name

by Robert Seethaler

Today, I started reading The Café with No Name by Robert Seethaler, translated by Katy Derbyshire. It’s a vibrant story of love, companionship, and renewal in 1960s Vienna. With warm prose and tender humor, Seethaler has created a delightful parable about human existence, brought to life by unforgettable characters and a rich tapestry of narratives.

In the summer of 1966, Robert Simon was in his early thirties and had a dream. Raised in a home for war orphans, he has grown into a warm-hearted, hard-working, and determined man. When the former owners of the corner café in Carmelite Market Square close the business, Robert sees an opportunity to realize his dream.

The café, dark and dilapidated, is located in an impoverished neighborhood of the Austrian capital. However, a new energy is beginning to fill the air, signaling a desire for renewal. In the newspapers that fishmongers use to wrap char and trout from the Danube, one can read about the great things to come, heralding a bright future emerging from the shadows of the past.

Inspired by this optimism, Robert refurbishes the café. His efforts pay off as customers arrive, drawn to a congenial space where they can gather, talk, read, or sit and reflect. Each visitor brings their passion, friendship, loss, and heartache stories. Some search for companionship, while others long for love or a place to feel understood. As the city transforms, Robert’s café becomes a haven—a refuge from which to observe life, mourn, and rejoice.


Robert Seethaler was born in Vienna in 1966 and is the author of eight novels. In 2017, he was a finalist for the Man Booker International Prize with A Whole Life (FSG, 2016). He also works as an actor, most recently in Paolo Sorrentino’s Youth. He lives in Berlin.

Katy Derbyshire translates contemporary German writers, including Christa Wolf, Heike Geissler, and Olga Grjasnowa. Her translation of Clemens Meyer‘s While We Were Dreaming was longlisted for the 2023 International Booker Prize. She was born in London and has been based in Berlin for over twenty years.



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The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel

Read: April 2022

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The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel

by Lydia Kang

The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel by Lydia Kang is a spellbinding historical mystery about hidden identities, wartime paranoia, and the compelling power of deceit. It was my free April book from First Reads, and it was a page-turner that I highly recommend.

The first year of World War II and the Manhattan Project is the backdrop of this historical fiction. The siblings’ Will and Maggie Scripps are well-defined andy sympathetic characters. I will leave it for the reader to find out the truth about them. Ruby Fielding is a fascinating character, although it takes time for her to be fully developed.

Again, I highly recommend this novel!

Goodreads provides a concise overview.

Brooklyn, 1942. War rages overseas as brother and sister Will and Maggie Scripps contribute to the war effort stateside. Ambitious Will secretly scouts for the Manhattan Project while grief-stricken Maggie works at the Navy Yard, writing letters to her dead mother between shifts.

But the siblings’ quiet lives change when they discover a beautiful woman hiding under their back stairs. This stranger harbors an obsession with poisons, an affection for fine things, and a singular talent for killing small creatures. As she draws Will and Maggie deeper into her mysterious past, they both begin to suspect she’s quite dangerous―all while falling helplessly under her spell.

With whispers of spies in dark corners and the world’s first atomic bomb in the works, the visitor’s sudden presence in Maggie’s and Will’s lives raises questions about who she is and what she wants. Is this mysterious woman someone they can trust―or a threat to everything they hold dear?

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