Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Service Award
Estimated reading time: 9 minutes, 53 seconds
(L to R) Rabbi Uri Allen, myself, Cindy Hannen, Kathleen Murray, and Rabbi Paul Kerbel.
Kathleen Murray Nominated Me
For over a decade, Hanson Park has been more than just a beautiful green space for me. During my time at Monarch Housing, it was the closest park to our office. I often found myself drawn to it for a few moments of relaxation or a quick lunch on the park benches when the weather was nice.
When my wife, Jan, and I moved to Cranford in 2018, one of the first things we did was take a walk in Hanson Park. While we were by the Rahway River, I looked at one of the benches and suggested she bring a book and a cup of coffee to enjoy while listening to the river flow. Unfortunately, her diagnosis of lymphoma prevented her from experiencing that joy.
I met the members of the Conservancy, including Kathleen Murray, at a park cleanup in June 2021. I participated because, a week prior, on a rainy day, I had decided to plant a tree in honor of Jan’s memory. I thought this would be the perfect location for a tree, although I hoped for a sign from Jan, even if I knew it might not come.
As I began to walk, the rain stopped, the clouds parted, and the sun filled the park. At that moment, I realized Jan had sent me a message: she supported this location. I understood that a part of her soul, which had always been with me, was still present. Jan would be with me as I worked to grow through my grief.
Working with the Hanson Park Conservancy, we chose to create Jan’s Memorial Triangle Garden at Hanson Park. This initiative marked the first significant step on my journey of faith and love.
I have met and become friends with many members of the Hanson Park Conservancy. Kathleen and I would chat about life, loss, and personal growth during park cleanups and other volunteer activities. Last year, she approached me to discuss how she and Trinity Episcopal, her parish, could get involved with Bridges. I was surprised when I learned she had nominated me, but I will always be grateful for her decision.
In this short video, courtesy of Calvary Tabernacle and Channel 35, Cindy Hannen explains the award’s history, and Kathleen Murray shares her reasons for nominating me.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
The book Never Forget Our People Were Always Free is told through parables. It features intimate glimpses of political and 
