I See a Ghost!
Estimated reading time: 14 minutes, 43 secondsNo Means No!
“I think I might turn in,” I mumbled to Sonny as I raised myself from the coach. It was the first Friday in August, and we had had a group dinner that had morphed into a party. The music had been fine, but I always found the room dark due to the lack of overhead lighting. I was ready for a good night’s sleep after a busy week; the dim light, the loud music, and a busy week. “It’s still early,” he responded.
I glanced at my watch, and it was almost midnight. I shook my head and turned left so I could walk upstairs.
On the second step, a woman wearing a short black dress that, even with limited lighting, revealed more than it concealed was speaking to me. I couldn’t remember her name but knew she was the college roommate of one of the residents in the house. She was visiting for the weekend.
“Joe, where are you going?”
My face must have looked puzzled as she asked me my name.
“I have met many people tonight so remembering names can be confusing. It was nice dancing with you. My name is Beth.”
“No problem, Beth; I need to go to bed.” I could not for the life of me remember dancing with her. Of course, there was no slow music. Instead, we were like robots dancing solitary, mechanized ballet moves.
“Can I join you?”
I shook my head negatively and started to climb the stairs.
“You must be the one with the imaginary girlfriend. Don’t worry; I am only here for the weekend. She will never know. Remember, if you are not with the one you love, love the one you are with.”
I could hear her walking behind me but did not have the energy to turn around and ask her not to follow me.
“Are you afraid of having a little fun in bed with me?”
I chose not to respond.
“I am not imaginary, but I am damn good in bed. If you don’t have a rubber, it’s OK; I am on the pill,” Beth said as she looked in her purse. “If you want to use a rubber, I found one in my purse.”
I entered the bathroom and immediately went into one of the stalls, quickly locking the door after entering.
Beth’s message explained what she wanted to do to me in graphic detail. She was standing outside, talking very fast and a little slurred. She conjugated the “F” word in ways I had never contemplated.
I flushed and went to the sink to wash my hands. Before brushing my teeth, I turned to Beth and said, “Sorry, I am not interested.”
“What,” she screamed. “No one has ever said no to me!”
While I cleaned my teeth, she switched tactics and began to question my sexual orientation.
“Maybe you do not have a girlfriend. She is just a cover because you prefer boys.”
I could not respond or shake my head with a toothbrush in my mouth.
“Don’t worry,” Beth said. “I have slept with a couple of guys who thought they were gay, and after the night they had with me; they were not into boys anymore. I am great in bed, and like Broadway Joe, I guarantee to make you very happy tonight.”
As I rinsed my mouth, I decided it was no use talking to Beth. I dried my hands and exited the bathroom. The door to my room was a dozen or so feet away. I opened the door and closed and locked it for the first time since moving into the VISTA House.
“What are you doing? No one has ever turned me down.”
She banged on the door and kept yelling at me.
I thought of opening the door to tell her absolutely no but knew that would only exacerbate the situation and perhaps convey the wrong message.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
