Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!

Jan Was a Messenger from the Most High

Life is a Scrambled Jigsaw Puzzle, But the Journey is Rewarding

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 37 seconds
Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!

Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!

Have you ever experienced the sensation of being lost in life, as if you were trying to solve an intricate puzzle without any clear direction? This is precisely how I felt. It seemed as though I was given a jigsaw puzzle at birth but without a picture to guide me. Some pieces fit together easily, while others appeared misplaced, leaving me feeling disoriented. As I grew older, some parts of the puzzle seemed to change, no longer fit where they were once placed. My life was messy before I met Jan, and I struggled to make things work. While reminiscing about this period in my life, I was reminded of Lawrence Kushner’s touching poem “Jigsaw,” which provided insight into the meaning of life.

But know this. No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle.
Everyone carries with them at least one and probably
many pieces to someone else’s puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they don’t.

Meeting Jan, I pondered whether our unfinished puzzles would ever be completed. However, after spending an immense amount of time together, spanned countless hours, days, and weeks, I realized we both shared a common challenge. The pieces missing from my puzzle were the exact ones she possessed, and vice versa. It was only after discovering this crucial detail that everything started to fall into place. Our love felt predestined from the moment we shared our first kiss, and we were confident that we shared one heart and one soul.

As Kushner wrote,

And when you present your piece
to another, whether you know it or not,
whether they know it or not,
you are a messenger from the Most High

As time went by, our workspaces gradually became intertwined. However, we adapted by creating distinct spaces for our children and grandchildren. Unfortunately, when Jan received her lymphoma diagnosis, it fell on me to take care of her and finish the remaining tasks of our shared life’s work.

The day after Jan’s funeral, I woke up to find the jigsaw puzzle shattered into countless fragments, as if a tornado had wreaked havoc on my life. It felt impossible to reassemble the broken pieces. However, with the assistance of my loved ones, friends, and fellow widows, I gradually began to reconstruct my life’s puzzle. It took more than two years to repair the damage and incorporate new pieces as I learned to navigate life without Jan. Her words continue to echo in my mind, reminding me of my strength and ability. Whenever I hear her voice, the most challenging pieces of my life’s puzzle fall into place.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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When Richard Met Jan!

We embraced each other tightly, and our lips met in a deep and passionate kiss. It was even more intense than the sweet and lovely kisses we had already shared. I felt like I was flying, and if I hadn't worn my boots, I was sure this kiss would have knocked my socks off. This was the moment that sealed our love forever. I had always dreamed of finding true love, and now I had finally found it. Love is a beautiful thing that lasts forever and never dies.

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Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!

Poem: "Jigsaw" by Lawrence Kushner

Life is a Scrambled Jigsaw Puzzle, But the Journey is Rewarding

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 37 seconds

I have included the poem “Jigsaw,” by Lawrence Kushner, referenced in the post.

Each lifetime is the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
For some there are more pieces.
For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble.

Some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle.
And so it goes.
Souls go this way and that.
Trying to assemble the myriad parts.

But know this. No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle.
Everyone carries with them at least one and probably
many pieces to someone else’s puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they don’t.

And when you present your piece
to another, whether you know it or not,
whether they know it or not,
you are a messenger from the Most High

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Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!
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Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!
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The Unsettled: A Novel

Read: October 2023

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The Unsettled: A Novel

by Ayana Mathis

I highly recommend reading “The Unsettled: A Novel” by Ayana Mathis. It’s a brilliant, explosive, and vitally crucial new work from one of America’s most fiercely talented storytellers. The story follows Ava Carson and her ten-year-old son, Toussaint, arriving at the Glenn Avenue family shelter in Philadelphia in 1985. From the outset, Ava is already thinking of a way to escape.

She is disgusted by the shelter’s squalid conditions, including a room infested with cockroaches, barely edible food, and an untrustworthy night security guard. She is resolute in her mission to rescue her son from the shelter’s dangers and humiliations and free herself from the complex past that led them there.

Ava and her mother, Dutchess, have been estranged for many years since Ava left her Alabama home as a young woman. Despite the miles between them, mother and daughter are still deeply connected. However, Ava finds it hard to forgive her mother for her sharp tongue, intractability, and bouts of despair that led to neglect and hunger during her childhood.

Ava wants to be a better mother to her son, Toussaint. However, when Toussaint’s father, Cass, suddenly reappears, Ava is drawn to his charisma and radical vision to dismantle systems of racial injustice and establish a new communal living.

Meanwhile, in Alabama, Dutchess is facing a difficult challenge. She is struggling to prevent the sale of Bonaparte to white developers, who are rapidly encroaching on the land. Bonaparte has been a beacon of Black freedom and self-determination, and it is now in the hands of its last five Black residents – families who have lived there for generations. Dutchess is fighting to preserve the venerable history of Bonaparte and the land, which she has worked hard to keep as Ava’s inheritance.

As Ava approaches Cass, Toussaint begins to sense danger around him. He worries about his mother’s erratic behavior and his father’s intense and volatile nature. Toussaint dreams of returning to Bonaparte and Dutchess, where he was born and raised. He hopes to find his way back there soon.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Sleep: A Novel

Read: May 2025

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Sleep: A Novel

by Honor Jones

“Sleep: A Novel” by Honor Jones captivates readers with its heartfelt narrative and deep insights into the human experience. This debut novel offers a genuine insight into the complex dynamics of motherhood and childhood, weaving together themes of love, secrets, and the vast array of possibilities that life can hold beyond silence.

Every parent exists in two families simultaneously: the one they were born into and the one they have created.

Ten-year-old Margaret, much like many of us, hides beneath a blackberry bush in her family’s lush backyard while her brother searches for her in a game of flashlight tag. Her childhood is filled with sunlit swimming pools, Saturday morning pancakes, and a devoted best friend. However, her family life requires careful navigation. Her mother can be as brittle and demanding as she is loving, while her father and brother embody familiar, if uncomfortable, models of masculinity. Then, late one summer, everything changes. After a series of confusing events, the simple joys of girlhood begin to fade away.

Twenty-five years later, Margaret hides under her parents’ bed, waiting for her young daughters to find her in a game of hide and seek. Newly divorced, she is learning to navigate her life as a co-parent while also discovering the pleasures of a new relationship. Yet part of her remains under the blackberry bush, frozen in time. As she strives to be a mother to her daughters and a daughter to her mother, she must confront the echoes and reflections of her past in light of her present. She grapples with what it means to keep a child safe and how much of our lives we experience in solitude.

Jones presents these emotional cycles with generosity and unflinching honesty, making the novel a compelling read that resonates on multiple levels.


Honor Jones, a senior editor at The Atlantic and formerly at The New York Times, brings her wealth of experience and insight to this novel. She lives in Brooklyn with her three children, a life experience that undoubtedly enriches her storytelling.



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Don’t miss out on this exciting opportunity! Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org! It’s the perfect chance to add this compelling novel to your collection.


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A Marriage at Sea: A True Story of Love, Obsession, and Shipwreck

Read: December 2025

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A Marriage at Sea

by Sophie Elmhirst

Taut, propulsive, and dazzling, A Marriage at Sea: A True Story of Love, Obsession, and Shipwreck by Sophie Elmhirst combines an adrenaline-fueled high-seas adventure with a poignant love story. The book examines our fascination with challenging individuals and how we grow under extreme conditions. The book was one of Barack Obama’s favorite reads of 2025. Additionally, it has been featured in The New York Times’ Top 10 Books of 2025 and has received accolades as a Best Book of 2025 from NPR, Vogue, Time Magazine, and The New Yorker.

Maurice and Maralyn make an odd couple. He is a loner—awkward and obsessive—while she is charismatic and ambitious. Despite their differences, they share a dread of wasting their lives and, like many of us, dream of escaping it all. What if they quit their jobs, sold their house, bought a boat, and sailed away?

While most of us only daydream about such adventures, in June 1972, Maurice and Maralyn actually set sail. For nearly a year, everything went well until a breaching whale struck their boat, sinking it in the deep Pacific Ocean.

What follows is a jaw-dropping fight for survival in the wild ocean, with little hope of rescue. Alone together for months in a tiny rubber raft, starving and exhausted, Maurice and Maralyn must find ways to stay alive while also coping with each other as their inner demons emerge. Their marriage is put to the ultimate test as they realize that, although they can run away from the world, they cannot escape themselves. A Marriage at Sea is a mind-blowing tale of obsession, survival, and partnership.


Sophie Elmhirst is an award-winning journalist who writes regularly for The Guardian Long Read and The Economist; her work has also appeared in The New York Times Magazine, The New Yorker, and Harper’s Bazaar, among other places. She’s the winner of the British Press Award for Feature Writer of the Year and a Foreign Press Award. She lives in London and is the author of A Marriage at Sea.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Kitchen House

Read: August 2021

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The Kitchen House

by Kathleen Grisson

The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom was a book that I knew very little about who I took from our bookshelf. My wife had encouraged me to read it as it focused on the south, and she knew I ofter read both about that place and enjoyed history.

From the opening pages, It became a book that I could not put down.

Two characters narrate the book. One is Lavinia, an Irish girl orphaned and brought to the plantation by the master, a ship’s captain. She is assigned to the kitchen house to work with Belle, who is the illegitimate child of the master of the estate.

As Lavinia grows under the tutelage of Belle, the story highlights the struggles of a plantation. Lavinia finds family and love from the enslaved even though she is only indentured. The distinction that skin color would have on their lives is one that Lavinia only learns at the end.

Through the unique eyes of Lavinia and Belle, Grissom’s debut novel unfolds in a heartbreaking and ultimately hopeful story of class, race, dignity, deep-buried secrets, and familial bonds.

The Kitchen House is Ms. Grissom’s first novel and impressed me and inspired me even though I have no skills as a writer.

I strongly recommend this book.

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Hostage: A Memoir

Read: October 2025

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Hostage: A Memoir

by Eli Sharabi

In a raw and unflinching memoir, Eli Sharabi, a survivor of 491 days in Hamas captivity, recounts his harrowing ordeal in “Hostage: A Memoir.” He was abducted from Kibbutz Be’eri on October 7, 2023. In this powerful narrative, he shares the profound loss of his wife and daughters along with his unwavering determination to survive. Comparisons can be drawn to Elie Wiesel‘s “Night” and Laura Hillenbrand‘s “Unbroken.” “Hostage” stands as a significant testimony to history, ensuring that his experience will neither be forgotten nor erased.

“I refuse to let myself drown in pain. I am surviving. I am a hostage in the heart of Gaza, a stranger in this unfamiliar land, living with a family that supports Hamas. And I am getting out of here. I have to. I’m getting out of here. I’m coming home.” — Eli Sharabi.

On October 7, 2023, Hamas terrorists stormed Kibbutz Be’eri, shattering the peaceful life Eli Sharabi had built with his British wife, Lianne, and their teenage daughters, Noiya and Yahel. Dragged barefoot out his front door while his family watched in horror, Sharabi was plunged deep into the suffocating darkness of Gaza’s tunnels. As war raged above him, he endured a grueling 491 days in captivity, all the while holding onto the hope that he would one day be reunited with his loved ones.

Eli Sharabi‘s story is one of hunger and heartache, of physical pain, longing, loneliness, and a helplessness that threatens to destroy the soul. But it is also a story of strength, of resilience, and of the human spirit’s refusal to surrender. It is about the camaraderie forged in captivity, the quiet power of faith, and one man’s unrelenting decision to choose life, time and time again.

In the first memoir by a released Israeli hostage, and the fastest-selling book in Israel’s history, Sharabi offers a searing firsthand account of survival under unimaginable conditions—starvation, isolation, physical beatings, and psychological abuse at the hands of his captors.


Franklin Foer‘s essay –The Existential Heroism of the Israeli Hostages – was written about Hostage. His closing paragraph eloquently summarizes how hope can persist even in our darkest days. 

“This weekend, on the cusp of the release of the last 20 living hostages in Gaza, Donald Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner stood in the plaza in front of the Tel Aviv Museum of Art, dubbed Hostages Square, to address a jubilant throng. He called the hostages’ release the end of a nightmare. In reality, the nightmare never ends; trauma that endures for generations is the surest outcome of this war. But we also know that the hostages are going home, living proof that hope can persist even in the darkest hole.”


Eli Sharabi is a former hostage who survived 491 days in Hamas captivity after being abducted from Kibbutz Be’eri on October 7, 2023. Since his release, Sharabi has become a global advocate for the remaining hostages. He has met with world leaders, including former US President Donald Trump, spoken at the United Nations, and shared his story with audiences around the world. His memoir, *Hostage*, which is the first published account by a released Israeli hostage, quickly became a number one bestseller in Hebrew and the fastest-selling book in Israeli history.

Born in Tel Aviv to Yemenite and Moroccan parents, Sharabi moved to Be’er Sheva as a teenager. He later married Lianne, a British woman, and they have two daughters, Noiya and Yahel, aged sixteen and thirteen. A longtime resident of Be’eri, Sharabi worked as the Kibbutz’s business manager and served as the Chief Financial Officer for Be’eri Printing and other private companies in Israel. He continues to work tirelessly as a leader in the campaign for the release of captives.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Absolution: A Novel

Read: November 2023

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Absolution: A Novel

by Alice McDermott

I started reading “Absolution: A Novel” by Alice McDermott today. The opening line immediately grabbed my attention: “You have no idea what it was like. For us. The women, I mean.” In most literature about the Vietnam War, American women, particularly wives, have been minor characters. However, in “Absolution,” they take center stage.

The book follows the story of two women, Tricia, a shy newlywed, and Charlene, a practiced corporate spouse and mother of three. They both found themselves in Saigon in 1963, forming a wary alliance. They balance the era’s mandate to be “helpmeets” to their ambitious husbands with their inchoate impulse to “do good” for the people of Vietnam.

Sixty years later, Charlene’s daughter reaches out to Tricia after encountering an aging Vietnam vet. Together, they look back at their time in Saigon, carefully considering that pivotal year and Charlene’s altruistic machinations. They discover how their lives as women on the periphery have been shaped and burdened by the same unintended consequences that followed America’s tragic interference in Southeast Asia.

This virtuosic new novel from Alice McDermott, one of our most observant and affecting writers, explores themes of folly and grace, obligation, sacrifice, and, finally, the quest for absolution in a broken world.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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