Dinner with my fellow widows

Grateful for All the Blessings in My Life!

Expressing gratitude has been beneficial in coping with my grief!

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 56 seconds
Dinner with my fellow widows

Dinner With My Fellow Widows, June 11, 2023

Today has been a day of gratitude for me. I’m feeling immensely thankful for all the blessings in my life. It’s easy to get lost in the pain of losing Jan, but I focus on the love I shared with my wife and the happiness of spending time with my friends. I recently read an essay by Christina Caron in The New York Times titled “Gratitude Really is Good for You. Here’s What the Science Shows,” which only reinforced the importance of cultivating a grateful mindset.

Patty and Jan Visiting Hanson Park

Patty and Jan Visiting Hanson Park

I’m most thankful for the opportunity to spend time with my loved ones, no matter the occasion. Last night, I had dinner with six of my friends at Carmine‘s, and though the food was good, the company made the evening truly special. I’m also grateful for the chance to catch up with two dear friends who traveled far to spend time with me. Patty, Jan, and I walked together in Hanson Park and enjoyed my wife’s memorial garden, a moment I will forever cherish.

Reflecting on my day, I realize gratitude is not just about the big moments but the small ones. Whether it was enjoying Greek lemon chicken soup and oatmeal cookies with friends or simply coming home to a space filled with memories, there are many things to be thankful for every day.

After reading Ms. Caron’s essay, I felt compelled to delve deeper into gratitude. Her link to Joel Wong’s 100 questions list is an excellent tool for those seeking to foster a more profound sense of appreciation within themselves. I urge everyone to acknowledge the big and small things we are grateful for. By doing so, we can experience its positive impact on our overall well-being.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Is Gratitude in My DNA!

Expressing gratitude is so habitual that it might be a part of my DNA. Each morning, my first thought is to be thankful for the new day, appreciating that I can still walk long distances at my age. This exercise tests my endurance and gives me another reason to be grateful.

The love of my late spouse, Jan, is at the center of my being. Before I go to bed each night, I reflect on my day and remind myself of how grateful I am to be alive, have neighbors, and have the enduring love of Jan.

3 comments add your comment

  1. I am glad you had a great time with your friends and shared memories!
    I will start checking your book reviews; I ignored that section before.

    You are right; we have to work more on our gratitude; I can see that with your smile every time I see you.

    • Hugo, I always appreciate your feedback.

      I read a lot of books. I finished my thirty-ninth book of the year today! “I Am Homeless If This Is Not My Home: A Novel” by Lorrie Moore is not for the timid reader. Finn, the protagonist, confronts the death of his lifelong partner and brother. This quote summarizes my feelings so well that I should charge Ms. Moore with plagiarism.
       
      “Loss of the heart kills the brain, he had read. Loss of the brain kills the heart. But only eventually. A million love stories demonstrated it! The heart could go on and on. Love was its own little generator of quasi-buried treasure.”

      Gratitude is something we all need to work on. Smiling when I meet you or anyone else is a lesson I learned from Jan. Joel Wong’s 100 questions list is an excellent tool for those seeking to foster a more profound sense of appreciation within themselves. I urge everyone to acknowledge the big and small things we are grateful for. By doing so, we can experience its positive impact on our overall well-being.

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Dinner with my fellow widows
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Salvage the Bones: A Novel

Read: September 2024

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Salvage the Bones: A Novel

by Jesmyn Ward

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Western Lane: A Novel

Read: March 2023

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Western Lane: A Novel

by Chetna Maroo

Western Lane: A Novel by Chetna Maroo is a taut, enthralling first novel about grief, sisterhood, and a young athlete’s struggle to transcend herself. Western Lane is about three sisters who have lost their mother. Their father is encouraged to provide structure in raising his daughters. Gopi, the narrator, is a squash player, and her father imposes a brutal training regimen. I highly recommend this novel!

The following passage explains the importance of squash to Gopi and how she views the world.

In the court, your mind is not only on the shot you’re about to play and the shot with which your opponent might reply, but on the shots that will follow two, three, four moves ahead. You’re watching your opponent’s position and the game he or she is playing, making calculations. This is how you choose which way to go. Though your mind is following several paths at once, it’s not a splitting but expansion forwards and backward in time, and it happens so quickly that it feels like instinct. Sometimes, you don’t even know you are thinking.

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The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Eleven-year-old Gopi has been playing squash since she was old enough to hold a racket. When her mother dies, her father enlists her in a quietly brutal training regimen, and the game becomes her world. Slowly, she grows apart from her sisters. Her life is reduced to the sport, guided by its rhythms: the serve, the volley, the drive, the shot, and its echo.

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An indelible coming-of-age story, Chetna Maroo’s first novel captures the ordinary and annihilates it with beauty. Western Lane is a valentine to innocence, to the closeness of sisterhood, to the strange ways we know ourselves and each other.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Read: December 2021

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Followers

by Megan Angelo

Followers by Megan Angelo is one of NPR’s Books We Love from 2020. Goodreads describes this as an electrifying story of two ambitious friends, the dark choices they make, and the stunning moment that changes the world as we know it forever.

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Goodreads provides this overview if you are not convinced to read this book.

Orla Cadden is a budding novelist stuck in a dead-end job, writing clickbait about movie-star hookups and influencer yoga moves. Then Orla meets Floss ― a striving wannabe A-lister ― who comes up with a plan for launching them both into the high-profile lives they dream about. So what if Orla and Floss’s methods are a little shady and sometimes people get hurt? Their legions of followers can’t be wrong.

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Read: January 2026

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Grand Rapids: A Novel

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Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Read: September 2025

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Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Read: February 2026

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This Is Not About Us

by Allegra Goodman

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Allegra Goodman is the author of seven novels, including the national bestseller Isola, selected as a Reese’s Book Club pick. She has also written two collections of short stories and a novel for young readers. Her fiction has appeared in The New Yorker and elsewhere, and anthologized in The O. Henry Awards and Best American Short Stories. She lives with her family in Cambridge, Massachusetts.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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