Richard W. Brown

A Repetitive Year Ends

Am I Ready for the New Me?

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 18 seconds

Richard W. Brown

Looking back at the past year, I realize that 2023 has significantly changed my life. The journey begins with a New Year’s Day first-day hike in Elizabeth, NJ, and ends on New Year’s Eve watching A Midwinter Night’s Dream at the Shakespeare Theatre of NJ, but it’s finally ending. As the year comes to a close, I notice that the date has become a repeating number, 123123, reminding me that change may require repeated efforts but is always possible.

Despite encountering obstacles and challenges that tested my strength and resilience, I have become more robust and determined. Like a butterfly breaking out of its chrysalis, I am ready to spread my wings and become the best version of myself, even after experiencing loss. I look towards the future with courage and grace, knowing that lasting change is always within reach with the right mindset and perseverance.

We hold the power to a successful life within ourselves through the unwavering strength of our core activities. These three pillars – family, community, and love – can stand as strong as titanium and bring us purpose, meaning, health, and happiness.

  • The love and support of my family have been my anchor, helping me navigate through the highs and lows of life. Although I wish we had more time together, the quality of our time truly matters. I’m also immensely grateful for the widows who have become my chosen family, bringing comfort and support during difficult times. They hold a special place in my heart that will always inspire me to be a better person.
  • I am blessed to call downtown Cranford my home, where a vibrant and supportive community surrounds me. Together, we work towards making our neighborhood a better place, whether it’s through advocating for environmental and social causes or simply walking around and chatting with friends. With the unwavering support of my community, I have been able to stay committed to my religious beliefs and attend Friday night services at Temple Sha’arey Shalom without fail. I am proud to have been elected as the Board Chair of Bridges last November, and I look forward to continuing my advocacy work to serve the greater good.
  • Love is truly the most powerful force in the world. Even after facing immense grief and believing that love was no longer possible, I’ve learned that it’s possible to not only love myself and life again but also to love another person. The experience of loving her has been transformative, even if it’s presently dormant.

I’m excited to see what the future holds for me, with love and all the other vital aspects of my life.

As 2024 begins, I accept that change is an inevitable part of life and that we constantly evolve. I approach change cautiously but am willing to adapt to new circumstances and embrace transformation. Throughout my adult life, I have learned that finding meaning and purpose is essential, and even when faced with adversity, I have found ways to channel my energy into positive contributions.

Looking ahead to the future, I feel a sense of liberation as I break free from the walls that have held me back, knowing that I am becoming the best version of myself. As the board chair of Bridges, I am excited to play my part, Tikun Olam, in repairing the world and contributing to ending homelessness.

I am confident that I will emerge stronger no matter what occurs in 2024. May you be blessed with health and happiness in 2024!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. For gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Ready or Not, Change is Coming!

I am celebrating the third new year since my wife passed away. It's the beginning of the year 5784 with typical seasonal weather. The temperature during my walks is something I haven't experienced since Passover. In my mind, I can finally picture a life without her. I have donated her love to others, constructed a memorial garden, reconnected with repairing the world, fostered new friendships, and learned to live alone. If I were to observe someone else living this life, it's not a bad life.

As the year 5784 begins, I find myself asking unanswerable questions. Can I be both alone and alive? Is it possible for me to love again? Is there anyone who would want to love me? These uncertainties keep me up at night. However, I've realized that to embrace life fully, I must face the future and embrace change. Although scary, it's the only way to become fully alive. I've survived by living alone, but now it's time to take the next step and find the courage to open my heart.

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Our Salvation is Through Love!

Am I Ready for the New Me?

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 18 seconds

Our Salvation is Through Love!

During most of my grief journey, I have had the benefit of friendships that have helped me manage the perilous waters after a devasting loss. As C.S. Lewis wrote in "The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume II" (2004), "Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods." I will always be grateful for my friends, some who have been with me for years and others whom I have met recently who helped me in the darkest hours of my life.As I approach thirty-one months since my wife died, I have learned to love again and be loved. I never thought I could be loved again or have the strength to love someone. No doorbusters could be as valuable as friends or the ability to love again. Love serves as my salvation and a means of attaining humanity's redemption. Love transcends ourselves and connects with others on a deeper level, leading to a more compassionate and harmonious world.

4 comments add your comment

  1. Richard, your newsletters and words of encouragement, hope, and understanding that you share have gotten me through my rough times. I use your writings as a resource to get me through my journey. You are a blessing.

    • I am but an ordinary person who has faced the pain of losing a loved one. However, I listen to my soul and the world, embracing new experiences and walking into an unknown future one step at a time. Despite the hardships, grief has taught me valuable lessons, and I continue to seek meaning and purpose in life. If my experiences have helped you in any way, I am grateful. Remember, we are all on this journey together and must support each other.

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The Great Divide: A Novel

Read: June 2024

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The Great Divide: A Novel

by Cristina Henriquez

I began to read “The Great Divide: A Novel” by Cristina Henriquez today. The book stood out for its compassionate exploration of the lives of activists, fishmongers, laborers, journalists, neighbors, doctors, and soothsayers. It sheds light on individuals whose essential contributions history overlooks. The novel weaves these characters’ stories in a unique and compelling narrative structure.

Set against the backdrop of the yet-to-be-built Panama Canal, the book delves into the lives of various characters. Francisco, a local fisherman, resents the foreign powers vying for control of his homeland. His son, Omar, works in the excavation zone, seeking connection in a rapidly changing world.

Sixteen-year-old Ada Bunting, from Barbados, stows away in Panama to find work and fund her ailing sister’s surgery. When she encounters Omar, who collapsed after a grueling shift, she rushes to his aid, setting off a chain of events that will change their lives.

John Oswald, a scientist dedicated to eliminating malaria, is in Panama when his wife, Marian, falls ill. Witnessing Ada’s bravery and compassion, he hires her as a caregiver, setting off a tale of ambition, loyalty, and sacrifice.

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The Liberators

Read: November 2023

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The Liberators

by E. J. Koh

I started reading The Liberators by E. J. Koh today. The book is a debut novel about Insuk, a 24-year-old Daejeon, a South Korean college student who falls in love with her classmate, Sungho. They get married with her father’s blessing. Still, things take a turn for the worse as the military dictatorship, martial law, and nationwide protests bring the country to the brink of collapse, and Insuk’s father mysteriously disappears.

After her father’s disappearance, Insuk escapes to California with Sungho, their son Henry, and his overbearing mother. Struggling to adapt to their new life, Insuk mourns the loss of her past and her homeland, only to find solace in an illicit affair that sets in motion a chain of events that will reverberate for generations.

The Liberators is a powerful family saga that spans four generations and two continents. E. J. Koh expertly captures the lives of two Korean families as they navigate love, war, trauma, and empathy. This debut novel is a gripping testament to the consequences of inheritance and the power of memory.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Long Bright River

Read: December 2021

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Long Bright River

by Liz Moore

Long Bright River by Liz Moore was a 2020 NPR Books We Love Selection. It’s a contemporary novel about the opioid epidemic, it’s a novel about sisters and families, it’s a book about the police and how they fall short of the communities they serve, and it’s a well-plotted crime novel. Its main story revolves around Mickey, a patrol officer raising a young son in a working-class neighborhood in Northeast Philadelphia, and her missing sister, who’s addicted to drugs. Both women are the children of addicts, raised by a strict grandmother.

Despite Long Bright River being selected by NPR and others as one of the best books, I was not sure what to expect. My doubts evaporated on page one. Mickey’s narration, including her description of Kensignton, made this a page-turner.

Mickey and Kacey’s lives became so realistic that I could not put the book down. One night, I stayed up to finish reading for the first time in almost a decade.

As much as it focuses on the opioid epidemic and the shortcomings of policing, its proper focus is on sisters and families. My love of family has become more important to me than ever since the loss of Jan, the love of my life.

Ms. Moore brings it all together in the ending but leaves enough doubt as to the future relationship of the sisters that we can feel the harsh reality of life itself. Long Bright River is the first but not the last book by this author that I will read.

Goodreads has an overview if you need more convincing.

In a Philadelphia neighborhood rocked by the opioid crisis, two once-inseparable sisters find themselves at odds. One, Kacey, lives on the streets in the vise of addiction. The other, Mickey, walks those same blocks on her police beat. They don’t speak anymore, but Mickey never stops worrying about her sibling.

Then Kacey disappears suddenly, at the same time that a mysterious string of murders begins in Mickey’s district, and Mickey becomes dangerously obsessed with finding the culprit–and her sister–before it’s too late.

Alternating its present-day mystery with the story of the sisters’ childhood and adolescence, Long Bright River is at once heart-pounding and heart-wrenching: a gripping suspense novel that is also a moving story of sisters, addiction, and the formidable ties that persist between place, family, and fate.

I highly recommend this book.

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The Sunset Years of Agnes Sharp

Read: August 2023

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The Sunset Years of Agnes Sharp

by Leonie Swann

I began reading The Sunset Years of Agnes Sharp by Leonie Swann, translated by Amy Bojang. The book follows a unique group of senior citizens as they try to solve one murder while hiding another, all with the assistance of an innovative tortoise. The mystery is full of twists and turns and is cleverly written by the same author who wrote Three Bags Full, adding a darkly humorous touch to the plot.

It has been an eventful morning for Agnes Sharp and the other inhabitants of Sunset Hall, a house shared by the old and unruly in the sleepy English countryside. Although they have had some issues (misplaced reading glasses, conflicting culinary tastes, decreasing mobility, and gluttonous grandsons), nothing prepares them for an unexpected visit from a police officer with some shocking news. A body has been discovered next door. Everyone puts on a long face for show, but they are secretly relieved the body in question is not the one they’re currently hiding in the shed (sorry, Lillith).

The answer to their little problem with Lillith may have fallen right into their laps. All they have to do is find out who murdered their neighbor so they can pin Lillith’s death on them, thus killing two (old) birds with one stone (cold killer).

Agnes and her group of elderly friends are eager to begin their plan. They believe that creating a mystery will divert suspicion away from themselves. To investigate, they will venture out of their comfort zone and into the less-than-ideal village of Duck End. Along the way, they will encounter suspicious bakers, malfunctioning stairlifts, incompetent criminals, the local authorities, and their hidden secrets.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The New Earth

Read: April 2023

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The New Earth

by Jess Row

The New Earth, by Jess Row, is a commanding investigation of our deep and impossible desire to undo the injustices we have both inflicted and been forced to endure. When I read books about dysfunctional families, I am reminded of how important family is to our health and how blessed I am not to be a member of a family like the one Jess Row has created. I highly recommend this book!

The Wilcoxes saga is a case study of the difficulties of modern relationships. The reunion at the wedding of their daughter Winter unfolds in a manner that keeps the reader engaged until the final words appear on the page. Lies, infidelity, and how these actions compound and create problems for the younger generation is a book well worth reading.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

For fifteen years, the Wilcoxes have been a family in name only. Though never the picture of happiness, they once seemed like a typical white Jewish clan from the Upper West Side. But in the early 2000s, two events ruptured the relationships between them. First, Naomi revealed to her children that her biological father was Black. In the aftermath, college-age daughter Bering left home to become a radical peace activist in Palestine’s West Bank, where an Israeli Army sniper killed her.

In 2018, Winter Wilcox is getting married, and her only demand is that her mother, father, and brother emerge from their self-imposed isolations and gather once more. After decades of neglecting personal and political wounds, each remaining family member must face their fractured history and decide if they can ever reconcile.

Assembling a vast chorus of voices and ideas from across the globe, Jess Row “explodes the saga from within–blows the roof off, so to speak, to let in politics, race, theory, and the narrative self-awareness that the form had seemed hell-bent on ignoring” (Jonathan Lethem).


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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I'll Come to You: A Novel

Read: January 2025

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I’ll Come to You: A Novel

by Rebecca Kauffman

I began reading “I’ll Come to You: A Novel” by Rebecca Kauffman today. This sweeping and compact novel explores themes of intimacy, memory, loss, grief, and reconciliation. It delves into the wonder, terror, frustration, fear, and magic of confronting the unknowable in the world and within ourselves. The New York Times recommended it as one of six books to read this week.

I’ll Come to You is a modern and classic story of a family that follows intersecting lives throughout 1995, centered around the anticipation and arrival of a child. Through empathy, insight, and humor, Rebecca Kauffman delves into overlapping narratives: a couple struggling to conceive, which has both softened and hardened their relationship; a woman whose husband of forty years has left her without explaining why; and the man who is disastrously trying to win her affection. Additionally, there’s a couple in denial about an impending health crisis and their son, who is awkwardly navigating middle age while unable to stop lying.

Ultimately, these storylines build to a dramatic and harrowing climax. With heart, wit, and courage, the characters confront challenges that test and define their family bonds.



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