Rabbi Rick Jacobs of the Union of Reform Judaism

May the Shofar’s Sound Awaken Me!

Finding Meaning and Purpose in the High Holidays

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 11 seconds
Rabbi Rick Jacobs of the Union of Reform Judaism

Rabbi Rick Jacobs of the Union of Reform Judaism

Being a widow for almost twenty-nine months, I have learned to live alone despite the isolation, not by choice but due to the reality of widowhood. I have survived by seeking meaning and purpose in life; as Viktor Frankl wrote, “Man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather recognize that it is he who is asked. Each man is questioned by life, and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life and being responsible.”

As I approach the third High Holidays without my wife, I prepare to hear the shofar and find renewed purpose to lead a meaningful life. In his inspiring message for 5784, Rabbi Rick Jacobs of the Union of Reform Judaism reminds us that the shofar’s sound can awaken us from our slumber and energize us to take on the moral imperatives of the world.

What moral imperatives have I become engaged in within the last year that I can do more in 5784?

  • I joined Bridges’ Board of Trustees, an organization committed to ending homelessness by demanding change. It is a crucial challenge of our time to end homelessness in Essex and Union counties in NJ. The moral crisis of homelessness demands our attention and action, and Bridges is leading the way toward a brighter future for everyone.
  • As my second moral imperative, I am committed to ending the environmental crisis that threatens life as we know it on our only planet. Our responsibility, irrespective of our beliefs, is to ensure a healthier world for future generations. We must always remember that no alternative planet is available, so we must work collectively to protect our world.

I have other priorities, such as Hanson Park, the Jan Lilien Education Fund, and various charities I support.

As we heed the shofar’s call, let us awaken to our shared responsibility to repair the world. Let’s work together to ensure this new year brings us the strength and courage to take action toward a better future. Shana Tova!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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What is My Next Chapter?

Change is a difficult concept for many people to accept. We often prefer things the way they are. However, life inevitably changes, and holding onto the past can impede our progress. After my wife passed away, I found myself clinging to the past. Although it helped me initially, in the long run, it hindered my growth.

Embracing the present and welcoming new changes can be challenging, especially when it means letting go of the past. However, I have learned that holding on to what was will only hinder my growth. Heraclitus once said that we are never the same person twice, and I find comfort in this truth. My wife's memory lives on, and I am inspired to live each day to the fullest, just as she taught me. I am excited about the endless possibilities and take comfort in knowing that every moment is an opportunity to grow.

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Bridges’ Streets to Homes 5K Run/Walk

Finding Meaning and Purpose in the High Holidays

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 11 seconds

Bridges’ Streets to Homes 5K Run/Walk

I'm thrilled to participate in Bridges' Streets to Homes 5K Run/Walk 2023 event on September 30th, and I would appreciate your support in helping me reach my fundraising goal. Please donate to help me achieve my goal! I will match dollar for dollar all donations!

Mans Search for Meaning

Finding Meaning and Purpose in the High Holidays

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 11 seconds
Man's Search for Meaning

Man's Search for Meaning

I remember reading portions of Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl at different times, but I never finished the book. However, recently, eight and a half months after the passing of Jan, the book came up for discussion in one of my groups. Frankl's theory of logotherapy, which derives from the Greek word for "meaning," centers around the idea that the primary human drive is not pleasure, as Freud believed, but rather the search for what gives life meaning. I now have a framework for my life without Jan.

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Rabbi Rick Jacobs of the Union of Reform Judaism
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Man's Search for Meaning

Read: January 2022

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Man’s Search for Meaning

by Viktor E. Frankl

I recall reading portions of Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl at various times, but I never completed the book. However, recently, eight and a half months after Jan’s passing, my wife and I were discussing in one of my groups. Frankl’s theory of logotherapy, which derives from the Greek word for “meaning,” centers around the idea that the primary human drive is not pleasure, as Freud believed, but rather the search for what gives life meaning. I now have a framework for my life without Jan.

For those like me who are widows, Frankl understands suffering,

In some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.

Jan and I lived meaningful lives. My challenge now is to continue to find meaning in my life without Jan.

As Frankl writes,

Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any ‘how.

The love Jan and I shared was one of my primary sources of meaning. In addition, I stopped working full-time at the end of 2018 and struggled to replace the purpose I had gained from repairing the world. After Jan died, I suffered the “provisional existence of an unknown limit, ” which Frankl experienced when he was in the concentration camps.

I have replaced the loss of meaning and purpose with a series of activities:

  1. Planning to celebrate Jan Day on her birthday this year.
  2. Writing my random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered;
  3. Reading more than ever, including my Goodreads 2022 Reading Challenge; and
  4. Walking more than I probably should.

I am also beginning to serve on the board of a few non-profits. It is time to transition from hands-on work to providing leadership in a different way.

Will this be enough to give my life meaning?

Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life, and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life, he can only respond by being responsible.

I must continue to focus on my search for meaning, as life will inevitably change over time.

My grief journey has taught me that love never dies,

For the first time in my life, I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth – that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry, thought, and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.

My path forward is to keep Jan’s love alive and continue to share it with others.

I recommend this book without reservation.



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Revolutionary Mothers

Read: February 2019

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Revolutionary Mothers

by Carol Berkin

Revolutionary Mothers by Carol Berkin, Presidential Professor of American Colonial and Revolutionary History; Women’s History Professor at Baruch College, is one of four books I purchased after my first One Day University Class on February 9, 2019. It should be required reading!

The book explains how women of the Revolution were most active at home, organizing boycotts of British goods, raising funds for the fledgling nation, and managing the family business while struggling to maintain a modicum of normalcy as husbands, brothers, and fathers died.

It was not just the men who fought on the front lines, as in the story of Margaret Corbin, who was crippled for life when she took her husband’s place beside a cannon at Fort Monmouth. She explains the mystery of Molly Pitcher (she was not a person but a group of women), camp followers, women who spied for their country, Loyalist women, and the impact on African American and Native women.

This intelligent and comprehensive history brings these forgotten stories to their rightful place in the struggle for American independence. Dr. Birkin also highlights how their efforts set the stage for the continuing campaign for gender equality.

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The Human Stain: A Novel

Read: September 2024

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The Human Stain: A Novel

by Philip Roth

Today, I started reading The Human Stain: A Novel by Philip Roth. This book is considered a masterpiece and has earned its place among The New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the 21st Century. The story takes place in 1998, a significant year marked by a presidential impeachment that affected the entire nation. In a peaceful New England town, the respected classics professor Coleman Silk is forced into retirement due to false accusations of racism by his colleagues.

This accusation triggers a series of events that bring to light shocking revelations about Coleman, revelations that carry a profound societal significance. Coleman Silk harbors a secret, a secret that is not about his affair with Faunia Farley, a woman half his age with a troubled past, or the alleged racism that led to his downfall at the college where he was once a respected dean. It’s not even about misogyny, despite Professor Delphine Roux’s attempts to portray him as such. Coleman’s true secret, a secret he has guarded for fifty years from everyone in his life, including his wife, children, colleagues, and friends, is a defining aspect of his character and his relationships.

The Human Stain is a compelling portrayal of 1990s America, a time of clashing moralities and ideological divisions. Through public denunciations and rituals of purification, it delves into how the nation’s destiny and the ‘human stain’ that marks human nature shape the lives of postwar Americans. This potent and captivating novel is a fitting continuation of Philip Roth‘s earlier works, each set in a distinct historical period.

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We Do Not Part

Read: March 2025

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We Do Not Part: A Novel

by Han Kang

Today, I explored “We Do Not Part,” the latest novel by Han Kang, the 2024 Nobel Prize in Literature laureate. Translated by the talented e. yaewon and Paige Aniyah Morris, this book offers a remarkable journey. The New York Times has called it Kang’s most revealing work since her acclaimed novel, “The Vegetarian.” What captivates me the most is how it intricately weaves the story of two women’s friendship while shedding light on a hidden chapter of Korean history.

One winter morning, Kyungha receives an urgent message from her friend Inseon, asking her to visit a hospital in Seoul. Inseon has injured herself in an accident and begs Kyungha to return to Jeju Island, where she lives, to save her beloved pet—a white bird named Ama. A snowstorm hits the island when Kyungha arrives. At all costs, she must reach Inseon’s house, but the icy wind and blizzards slow her down as night falls. She wonders if she will arrive in time to save the animal—or even survive the terrible cold that envelops her with every step. Lost in a world of snow, she does not yet suspect the vertiginous plunge into darkness that awaits her at her friend’s house.

Blurring the boundaries between dream and reality, “We Do Not Part” powerfully illuminates a forgotten chapter of Korean history buried for decades, bringing to light the lost voices of the past to prevent them from fading into oblivion. It is both a tribute to enduring friendship and a plea for remembrance. The novel tells a story of profound love in the face of unspeakable violence and celebrates life, however fragile.


Han Kang was born in 1970 in South Korea. She is the author of The Vegetarian, which I have read, and winner of the International Booker Prize,  Human ActsThe White BookGreek Lessons, and We Do Not Part. In 2024, she received the Nobel Prize in Literature.

e. yaewon is based in Korea and translates from and into Korean, including titles by Hwang Jungeun, Deborah Levy, and Samuel Beckett.

Paige Aniyah Morris divides her time between the United States and Korea. Recent translations include works by Pak Kyongni, Ji-min Lee, and Chang Kang-myoung.



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10/7: 100 Human Stories

Read: September 2025

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10/7: 100 Human Stories

by Lee Yaron

The speaker at the Selichot Service with VAAD at Congregation Beth Israel on September 13, 2025, will be Lee Yaron, the author of 10/7: 100 Human Stories. Yaron is the recipient of the National Jewish Book Awards’ 2024 Jewish Book of the Year and The Natan Fund’s Winter 2025 Notable Book Award. This book provides a definitive account of the 10/7 attacks, sharing the stories of the victims and the communities they called home.

On October 7, 2023—the Sabbath and the final day of the holiday of Sukkot—the Gaza-based terror group Hamas launched an unprecedented assault on the people of Israel. Crashing through the border, attacking from the sea and air, militants indiscriminately massacred civilians in what became one of the worst terror attacks in modern history, and the most lethal day for the Jewish people since the Holocaust.

A radically passionate work of investigative journalism and political critique by acclaimed Haaretz reporter Lee Yaron, 10/7 chronicles the massacre that ignited a war through the stories of more than 100 civilians. These stories are the result of extensive interviews with survivors, bereaved individuals, and first responders in Israel and around the world. The victims run the gamut from left-wing kibbutzniks and Burning Man-esque partiers to radical right-wingers, from Bedouins and Israeli Arabs to Thai and Nepalese guest workers, peace activists, elderly Holocaust survivors, refugees from Ukraine and Russia, pregnant women, and babies.

At a time when people are seeking a deeper understanding of the history of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and how internal political turmoil in Israel has affected it, they predominantly encounter perspectives from the powerful—from politicians and military officers. 10/7 takes a fresh approach, offering answers through the stories of everyday people, those who lived tenuously on the border with Gaza.

Yaron profiles victims from a wide range of communities—depicting the fullness of their lives, not just their final moments—to honor their memories and reveal the way the attack ripped open Israeli society and put the entire Middle East on the precipice of disaster. Each chapter begins with a portrait of a community, interweaving history with broader political analysis of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to provide context for the narratives that follow. Ultimately, 10/7 shows that the tragedy is much greater than the violence of the attacks, and in fact extends back through the entire Netanyahu era, which propagated a false image of Israel as a technologically advanced, militarily formidable powerhouse so essential to the region that it could continue to ignore and undermine Palestinian statehood indefinitely.


Lee Yaron has been a journalist with Haaretz, Israel’s oldest and most award-winning newspaper, for nearly a decade. Her investigative reporting has led to the establishment of state-level commissions and the revision of substantial bodies of Israeli policy and law. She is an elected member and representative of the Executive Committee of the Union of Israeli Journalists. She has also written and directed acclaimed theater productions notable for their use of found materials, including official governmental texts, to bring attention to marginalized communities both in Israel and throughout the Middle East. Born in Tel Aviv, Yaron splits her time between her native city and New York.

Joshua Cohen is the author of ten books, including the novels Book of Numbers, Moving Kings, and Witz. Called “a major American writer” by the New York Times and “an extraordinary prose stylist, surely one of the most prodigious at work in American fiction today” by the New Yorker, Cohen was awarded Israel’s 2013 Matanel Prize, and in 2017 was named one of Granta’s Best Young American Novelists. His book, The Netanyahus, won the 2021 National Jewish Book Award for Fiction and the 2022 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction.



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Surfacing

Read: July 2021

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Surfacing

by Margaret Atwood

Surfacing by Margaret Atwood was a book I picked up on a random walk around the house. I had read The Handmaid’s Tale but was not ready to read The Testaments.

This book is a detective novel as well as a psychological thriller. A talented woman artist goes in search of her missing father on a remote island in northern Quebec. She had grown up on the island, and the journey includes her lover and another young married couple. When they arrive, the isolation and obsession of the artist shape all of their lives in unexpected ways. The marriage begins to fall apart, violence and death lurk just beneath the surface, and sex becomes a catalyst for conflict and dangerous choices.

Goodreads describes the book as,

Surfacing is a work permeated with an aura of suspense, complex with layered meanings, and written in brilliant, diamond-sharp prose. Here is a rich mine of ideas from an extraordinary writer about contemporary life and nature, families, and marriage, and about women fragmented… and becoming whole.

I also found myself captivated by the many layers of the book the search for her father, and the psychological impact on all four of them.

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The Vaster Wilds: A Novel

Read: September 2023

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The Vaster Wilds: A Novel

by Lauren Grof

Today, I started reading The Vaster Wilds: A Novel by Lauren Groff, a three-time National Book Award finalist. It is a taut and electrifying novel about a servant girl who escapes from a colonial settlement in the wilderness. One spirited girl alone in nature, trying to survive.

She carries nothing with her but her wits, a few possessions, and the spark of god that burns hot within her. What she finds in this terra incognita is beyond the limits of her imagination and will bend her belief in everything that her civilization has taught her.

Lauren Groff’s new novel is a thrilling adventure story and a penetrating fable about trying to find a new way of living in a world succumbing to the churn of colonialism. The Vaster Wilds is a work of raw and prophetic power that tells the story of America in miniature, through one girl at a hinge point in history, to ask how—and if—we can adapt quickly enough to save ourselves.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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