I Live Alone, But I Am OK
Jan is Still With Me Now and Forever!
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 27 seconds
Many have asked why I haven’t started dating again since my Jan passed away 760 days ago. I’ve been improving my physical and mental health, expanding my social circle, and rebuilding my self-esteem. Being single and involved in my communities brings me contentment.
Grieving is a personal journey that teaches us about ourselves and how to handle loneliness. After Jan’s passing, I realized I had tied my identity to our relationship. Despite my grief, I began to recognize my values and goals. I’m committed to personal growth without relying on quick solutions.
After a previous breakup, I spent a similar amount of time alone. At first, I believed I needed to reunite with my ex to be happy again. However, when we met, my former partner had moved on while I had learned to enjoy living alone.
Rather than searching for a new partner, I learned to embrace and cherish solitude. Accepting this lifestyle made my time with Jan even more precious. Although she’s no longer with me, our love and memories will always be special.
I derive solace from living independently while being part of interdependent communities. If this is how I live out my days, I am OK.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
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Seamlessly moving between these communities strengthens each one and makes me healthier. Everyone should consider creating community mesh networks. My multi-community mesh network has been a lifesaver throughout my grief journey.
Although it cannot replace what I lost, it allows me to bring my loved one's spirit into my new life and share her love with everyone.
After my wife Jan passed away, someone told me I couldn't find a new partner if I continued wearing my wedding ring. This comment took me aback, and I didn't want to explain that I was still married because I was afraid that others would think I was crazy for still being attached to my late wife.
Since Jan's passing, I've prioritized living life to the fullest and positively impacting the world. I have yet to consider finding a new partner or getting married again, and I'm not actively looking for one. While some people may choose to date after losing a partner, I prefer to honor Jan's memory by focusing on my journey with purpose and passion.
