Walking is Vital to My Conscientious Resilience!
Estimated reading time: 16 minutes, 47 seconds
Friends Are All You Need!
As I rounded the corner towards the end of my walk today, a woman appeared seemingly out of nowhere, her eyes sparkling with curiosity and challenge. She caught me off guard, and before I could fully process the encounter, she asked, “Can you finish this sentence?” Confusion flickering across my mind, I hesitated and managed to mumble politely, “Have a nice day,” as we brushed past each other.
But just as I thought the moment was behind me, her voice cut through the fading distance, more precise and insistent. Can you finish this sentence: ‘It is…?'” Her words hung in the air, wrapping around me like a spell, drawing me back into the heartbeat of the moment. What could I say? What did it mean?
The answer became apparent once I understood the question: “A beautiful day….” She completed my thought by adding, “In the neighborhood.” When my sons were young, they believed there must be an alternate branch in my family tree, suggesting that I was related to Fred Rogers. Of course, there is no truth to that idea.
I have always maintained a positive outlook on life. On my first day of this journey, when I met new people, I would say, “Have a nice day,” even though I secretly expected a challenging day. Some of those I encountered would nod or occasionally respond with a “thanks,” but I kept my cheerful greetings going. As I approached my first year of walking alone, I passed a house where two young children were being helped into the car by their parents. I had seen them most days of the week and had always greeted them warmly. That morning, I heard the two girls shout in unison, “Have a nice day.” My heart fluttered because it was the first time I genuinely felt I might have a good day.
For fourteen hundred days and counting, my walks have introduced me to new friends and, in some cases, their pets. Some of the people I’ve met include Cindy and Henry, Beth, Anthony and Chance, Tony, Peter and Blue, Donna, and Andrea, to name just a few. During the sub-zero walks in February, I noticed fewer people outside and worried about their well-being. Occasionally, we stop to chat about the weather, and sometimes our conversations turn to politics. Ultimately, it’s all about building friendships.
Franco, my neighbor and the owner of Venue 104 has made it clear that when my time comes, he plans to ask my sons for my Apple Watch to check the maps from my daily walks. At first, I thought he was merely curious about my exercise routine. However, he elaborated with an unexpected twist: “I plan to print a photo of that, accompanied by the message, ‘Do you know who this is?’ and host a wake at my place.
While I appreciated the sentiment behind his plan, I hesitated to share my thoughts about Shiva and the different approaches I envision for mourning. The idea of people gathering to remember a man who spent his life spreading positivity and reminding others of life’s beauty was a lot to process. It made me reflect on how such gatherings are not just about grief but also about celebrating the joy one brings to others.
I often wonder if I would have made so many new friends after losing the love of my life if I had chosen to isolate myself. Perhaps not, but I am forever grateful for these new friends who have inspired me to become the best version of myself.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
As you know, I am walking because of you. I am currently at day 55 of 100. Once I reach day 75, I plan to change my goal to walk 150 days.
I am excited by that goal because when I arrive at 150 days, I will have walked 10% of the days that you will have walked and it will be my one chance to have such alignment. I am excited!
So, why am I walking? I am walking because having a concrete goal of walking 100 days gives me reason not to quit. I am guessing that you start your walk each day for a similar reason. It gives you a reason not to quit, to keep going.
Once I begin my walk the reasons change and are different from day to day. However, the sense of accomplishment of having “walked today” is always there and my guess is that you likely walk for those endorphins too.
Thank you for inspiring me!
-Mark-
Mark, I want to express my gratitude for your friendship and support. It will be an honor to celebrate when you reach 150 days, and I’m currently at 1,410 days and counting.
I walk to enjoy the endorphins, but like you, each day I walk gives me one more reason not to quit. Some days my body protests, but once I start, the pain disappears, and I find myself in moments of tranquility with nature and life.
If I’ve inspired you to walk, you have encouraged me to live life fully after loss in countless ways.
I will always be grateful to have you as a friend.