Planning Our Wedding!

Estimated reading time: 12 minutes, 22 seconds

Wedding Ring Shopping

Jan asked me while we looked for wedding rings in a small jewelry store in East Williamsburg. “I’ve never seen you wear any rings or jewelry. Will you wear a wedding ring?” My initial response was to smile at Jan, but I knew she needed a verbal affirmative answer.

“I love you so much and want to be your husband more than anything in the world,” I exclaimed. “I will wear my ring day and night until the end of time!”

Jan and I kissed as the clerk looked down at the rings. We still had not selected a Rabbi to officiate at our wedding but decided to buy wedding rings. 

Jan and I never had engagement rings, and I had lost my full-time job in January; and Jan’s contract with the NYC Board of Education ended in June, and it was uncertain if her job would be available for the new school year. 

Thus, we had limited financial resources to purchase wedding rings.

“We have more money than love,” I explained to the jeweler. That does not mean we do not want lovely rings for our wedding.

The clerk nodded her head. 

You are not alone,” she stated. “That is why we have a full range of prices and styles.”

“Thanks,” Jan said with a reassuring smile. 

The clerk suggested we look in the cabinets on the far side, as that section had wedding rings that would match our price range. 

“How about these rings,” said the clerk.

She showed us elementary gold bands with overlapping hearts. As we looked at them, Jan and I smiled at each other and knew that these were the rings for us. 

Honey, the hearts will remind us how much we love each other, and the rings have enough hearts to share our love with family, friends, and the community,” I said. 

Jan nodded and asked, “How much do the rings cost? Can we have our names and the wedding date engraved inside?

The clerk gave us a very affordable price and confirmed we could have Jan and Richard on August 9, 1975, engraved. 

With the date inside the ring, you will never be able to forget the day we married,” Jan announced.

“I will never forget!”

We decided to buy them without looking at any others. Jan had a credit card, which I did not, and she quickly took care of the payment. As I had a savings account, I calculated how much I needed to move to our joint checking account to pay the bill when it arrived. 

As we left the store, I said to Jan, “Wedding rings, even those made of gold, are merely metal and cannot speak; if they could talk, they would shout from the rooftop – I love you, Jan! We love the world!”


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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

The Exhibitionist: A Novel

Read: July 2023

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The Exhibitionist: A Novel

by Charlotte Mendelson

I began reading Charlotte Mendelson‘s novel, The Exhibitionist, today. The book tells the story of Lucia and Ray, two artists whose marriage starts to fall apart over a weekend. It explores themes such as art, sacrifice, family dynamics, queer desire, and personal freedom. Charlotte Mendelson has created yet another exceptional novel with The Exhibitionist, ranked as the year’s novel by The Times of London, and described as “furiously funny.”

The Hanrahan family is coming together for an important weekend. Ray Hanrahan, a well-known artist with a big ego, is preparing for his first exhibition in many years. His eldest daughter, Leah, is his biggest supporter. His son, Patrick, has decided to pursue his own path. His youngest daughter, Jess, has a big decision to make. Ray’s wife, Lucia, is also an artist but has always prioritized her roles as a wife and mother. She is keeping secrets of her own and must decide which desires to pursue as the weekend progresses and the exhibition approaches.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Angel Down

Read: December 2025

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Angel Down: A Novel

by Daniel Kraus

“Angel Down” by Daniel Kraus immerses readers in World War I, weaving a complex tale of survival, supernatural wonder, and moral conflict. Five soldiers on a mission to venture into the perilous No Man’s Land to euthanize a wounded comrade. Instead, they discover a fallen angel. “Angel Down” was recognized as one of the New York Times’ 100 Notable Books of 2025.

Private Cyril Bagger has survived the unspeakable horrors of the Great War by relying on his wits and deception, swindling fellow soldiers at every opportunity. However, his survival instincts are put to the ultimate test when he and four other soldiers are given a deadly mission: to venture into No Man’s Land to end the suffering of a wounded comrade.

What they find amidst the ruined battlefield, however, is not a man in need of mercy, but a fallen angel, seemingly struck down by artillery fire. This celestial being may hold the key to ending the brutal conflict, but the soldiers must suppress their individual desires and work together. As jealousy, greed, and paranoia take hold, the group is torn apart by their inner demons, threatening to transform their angelic encounter into a descent into hell.


Daniel Kraus is a New York Times bestselling author known for his novels, television, and film work. His novel Whalefall received a front-cover review in The New York Times Book Review, won the Alex Award, and was a finalist for the LA Times Book Prize. Recognized as one of the Best Books of 2023 by NPR, The New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, and several other publications.

Kraus coauthored The Shape of Water with Guillermo del Toro, based on the idea they developed for the Oscar-winning film. He also collaborated with del Toro on Trollhunters, which was adapted into the Emmy-winning Netflix series. Additionally, Kraus co-wrote The Living Dead and Pay the Piper with the legendary filmmaker George A. Romero. His novel The Death and Life of Zebulon Finch was named one of Entertainment Weekly’s Top 10 Books of the Year.

Throughout his career, Kraus has received numerous accolades, including the Bram Stoker Award, the Scribe Award, and two Odyssey Awards (for both Rotters and Scowler). He has been featured multiple times as a Library Guild selection and recognized by YALSA as a Best Fiction for Young Adults. His works have been translated into over twenty languages. Daniel Kraus resides in Chicago with his wife. Visit him at DanielKraus.com.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Hostage: A Memoir

Read: October 2025

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Hostage: A Memoir

by Eli Sharabi

In a raw and unflinching memoir, Eli Sharabi, a survivor of 491 days in Hamas captivity, recounts his harrowing ordeal in “Hostage: A Memoir.” He was abducted from Kibbutz Be’eri on October 7, 2023. In this powerful narrative, he shares the profound loss of his wife and daughters along with his unwavering determination to survive. Comparisons can be drawn to Elie Wiesel‘s “Night” and Laura Hillenbrand‘s “Unbroken.” “Hostage” stands as a significant testimony to history, ensuring that his experience will neither be forgotten nor erased.

“I refuse to let myself drown in pain. I am surviving. I am a hostage in the heart of Gaza, a stranger in this unfamiliar land, living with a family that supports Hamas. And I am getting out of here. I have to. I’m getting out of here. I’m coming home.” — Eli Sharabi.

On October 7, 2023, Hamas terrorists stormed Kibbutz Be’eri, shattering the peaceful life Eli Sharabi had built with his British wife, Lianne, and their teenage daughters, Noiya and Yahel. Dragged barefoot out his front door while his family watched in horror, Sharabi was plunged deep into the suffocating darkness of Gaza’s tunnels. As war raged above him, he endured a grueling 491 days in captivity, all the while holding onto the hope that he would one day be reunited with his loved ones.

Eli Sharabi‘s story is one of hunger and heartache, of physical pain, longing, loneliness, and a helplessness that threatens to destroy the soul. But it is also a story of strength, of resilience, and of the human spirit’s refusal to surrender. It is about the camaraderie forged in captivity, the quiet power of faith, and one man’s unrelenting decision to choose life, time and time again.

In the first memoir by a released Israeli hostage, and the fastest-selling book in Israel’s history, Sharabi offers a searing firsthand account of survival under unimaginable conditions—starvation, isolation, physical beatings, and psychological abuse at the hands of his captors.


Franklin Foer‘s essay –The Existential Heroism of the Israeli Hostages – was written about Hostage. His closing paragraph eloquently summarizes how hope can persist even in our darkest days. 

“This weekend, on the cusp of the release of the last 20 living hostages in Gaza, Donald Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner stood in the plaza in front of the Tel Aviv Museum of Art, dubbed Hostages Square, to address a jubilant throng. He called the hostages’ release the end of a nightmare. In reality, the nightmare never ends; trauma that endures for generations is the surest outcome of this war. But we also know that the hostages are going home, living proof that hope can persist even in the darkest hole.”


Eli Sharabi is a former hostage who survived 491 days in Hamas captivity after being abducted from Kibbutz Be’eri on October 7, 2023. Since his release, Sharabi has become a global advocate for the remaining hostages. He has met with world leaders, including former US President Donald Trump, spoken at the United Nations, and shared his story with audiences around the world. His memoir, *Hostage*, which is the first published account by a released Israeli hostage, quickly became a number one bestseller in Hebrew and the fastest-selling book in Israeli history.

Born in Tel Aviv to Yemenite and Moroccan parents, Sharabi moved to Be’er Sheva as a teenager. He later married Lianne, a British woman, and they have two daughters, Noiya and Yahel, aged sixteen and thirteen. A longtime resident of Be’eri, Sharabi worked as the Kibbutz’s business manager and served as the Chief Financial Officer for Be’eri Printing and other private companies in Israel. He continues to work tirelessly as a leader in the campaign for the release of captives.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time

Read: September 2021

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Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time

by Rachel Blythe Kodanaz

Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time by Rachel Blythe Kodanaz is a book I wish I had long before Jan died. It provides helpful information on maintaining an organized lifestyle and handling a loved one’s possessions.

Having lost almost everything I had except for the clothes on my back after a house fire in 1972, I thought I had adopted a view that possessions were not significant. With Jan’s death, the truth is that she and I had collected essential possessions, and now it was my responsibility to decide what to do with them.

Rachel’s book is a practical guide, offering a comprehensive understanding of the significance of possessions and a step-by-step plan to manage them. Chapter 3, in particular, is a treasure trove of practical advice, focusing on Building Your Game Plan: The Ten Essentials and covering all the crucial topics – triggers, building a team, and creating a timeline, among others.

Magic of the Six Piles is a well-designed plan that will help most of us confront the possessions of our loved ones. The piles are:

  1. Keep
  2. Share
  3. Donate
  4. Sell
  5. Dispose
  6. Ponder

Having absorbed the book’s wisdom, I am ready to transition from contemplation to action. This is how I sort my wife’s possessions into six piles. I am optimistic that it will also help me streamline my possessions, making books my trusted company more accessible for my sons.

Ms. Kodanaz has presented at my bereavement groups and has been an inspiration. She has also encouraged me to write about my love for Jan in a journal.

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Long Bright River

Read: December 2021

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Long Bright River

by Liz Moore

Long Bright River by Liz Moore was a 2020 NPR Books We Love Selection. It’s a contemporary novel about the opioid epidemic, it’s a novel about sisters and families, it’s a book about the police and how they fall short of the communities they serve, and it’s a well-plotted crime novel. Its main story revolves around Mickey, a patrol officer raising a young son in a working-class neighborhood in Northeast Philadelphia, and her missing sister, who’s addicted to drugs. Both women are the children of addicts, raised by a strict grandmother.

Despite Long Bright River being selected by NPR and others as one of the best books, I was not sure what to expect. My doubts evaporated on page one. Mickey’s narration, including her description of Kensignton, made this a page-turner.

Mickey and Kacey’s lives became so realistic that I could not put the book down. One night, I stayed up to finish reading for the first time in almost a decade.

As much as it focuses on the opioid epidemic and the shortcomings of policing, its proper focus is on sisters and families. My love of family has become more important to me than ever since the loss of Jan, the love of my life.

Ms. Moore brings it all together in the ending but leaves enough doubt as to the future relationship of the sisters that we can feel the harsh reality of life itself. Long Bright River is the first but not the last book by this author that I will read.

Goodreads has an overview if you need more convincing.

In a Philadelphia neighborhood rocked by the opioid crisis, two once-inseparable sisters find themselves at odds. One, Kacey, lives on the streets in the vise of addiction. The other, Mickey, walks those same blocks on her police beat. They don’t speak anymore, but Mickey never stops worrying about her sibling.

Then Kacey disappears suddenly, at the same time that a mysterious string of murders begins in Mickey’s district, and Mickey becomes dangerously obsessed with finding the culprit–and her sister–before it’s too late.

Alternating its present-day mystery with the story of the sisters’ childhood and adolescence, Long Bright River is at once heart-pounding and heart-wrenching: a gripping suspense novel that is also a moving story of sisters, addiction, and the formidable ties that persist between place, family, and fate.

I highly recommend this book.

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Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

Read: February 2024

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Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

by Isabel Waidner

Today, I began reading “Corey Fah Does Social Mobility: A Novel” by Isabel Waidner. The book is about Corey Fah, a writer whose novel has just won the Fictionalization of Social Evils prize. Despite this achievement, the trophy and funds with the award still need to be in reach. The novel celebrates radical queer survival and challenges false notions of success.

Corey, their partner Drew, and their pet spider, Bambi Pavok, embark on a quest to find an elusive trophy with neon-beige color and UFO-like qualities. This journey takes them back to their childhood in the forest and includes a stint on a reality TV show. While facing the horrors of wormholes and time loops, Corey discovers the difference between a prize and a gift in a complex way.

Following the Goldsmiths Prize–winning Sterling Karat Gold, Isabel Waidner’s bold and buoyant new novel is about coming into one’s own, the labor of love, the tendency of history to repeat itself, and what ensues when a large amount of cultural capital is suddenly deposited in a place it has never been before.

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