True Love Will Never Die!

True Love Will Never Die!

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 24 seconds

Jan, the love of my lifeTruth, on some days, is as crisp and clear as a cold winter morning.

On other days, the reality is as opaque as mud.

However, the longer I live with only Jan’s essence, the integrity of our romance becomes more precise as I write my memories.

But are my memoirs the truth Jan and I experienced, or do biases obscure the integrity of memory?

When I read Aftermirth by Hillary JordanMichael Larssen, the narrator, raised a question I have not and still do not want to consider.

What if Jan was a great love, but she was not the love of my life?

You can’t know that he was the love of your life, and do you know why? Because guess what, you aren’t dead yet. You may feel dead right now, and believe me I’ve been there, but the fact is, until you’re lying under a tombstone of your own you can’t be sure about anything.

Walking in chilly weather clears my mind.

I do not doubt that Jan was and still is the love of my life.

As David Stevens wrote in The Cool Shady Tree, “The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it.”

Jan loved me; I loved her, and our passion will never die.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Aftermirth

Aftermirth

Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan is a book about grief as the two protagonists take a road trip that is a darkly funny journey of healing that takes them deep into the heart of their suffering and others, and then beyond it, to a place of peace and laughter. I had just finished reading When She Woke by Ms. Jordan, and having enjoyed that book, reading a second one by the same author seemed reasonable. I highly recommend Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan.

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Aftermirth

Read: August 2022

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Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan

by Hillary Jordan

Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan is a book about grief as the two protagonists take a road trip that is a darkly funny journey of healing that takes them deep into the heart of their suffering and others, and then beyond it, to a place of peace and laughter. I had just finished reading When She Woke by Ms. Jordan and having enjoyed that book, reading a second one by the same author seemed reasonable.

When I selected this short novel to read, I questioned if it was a good choice for me.

I found it easier to read and, in some ways, helpful. It was like meeting fellow widows from my Zoom grief groups in person at Camp Widow. The ability to laugh about our loss and cry openly is essential to meeting fellow benefits.

Michael Larssen, the narrator, raised a question I have not and still do not want to consider. What if I am still alive, Jan was a great love but is not the love of my life?

“You can’t know that he was the love of your life, and do you know why? Because guess what, you aren’t dead yet. You may feel dead right now, and believe me I’ve been there, but the fact is, until you’re lying under a tombstone of your own you can’t be sure about anything. You could prick your finger on one of your roses tomorrow, and as you’re climbing the stairs to get a Band-Aid you trip over one of the pugs and tumble to your death. Or you could meet a man in the checkout line at the grocery store–hell, you could meet a woman even, and fall madly in love with her and end up with six kids and twenty grandkids. Michael looks over at Elena, then back at George. You just don’t know, George. That’s the thing. None of us does.”— Aftermirth (Kindle Single) by Hillary Jordan

Despite my anxiety about considering this disturbing question, I highly recommend Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

“I stopped being funny the day my wife was electrocuted by her underwire bra.” So begins “Aftermirth,” a dark comedy that explores the absurdity of death through the eyes of thirty-one-year-old comedian, writer, and actor Michael Larssen. What is funny to the rest of the world is devastating to Michael, who loves his wife deeply, exceptionally her bright, rippling, abandoned laughter, which captivated him from the first time he heard it. In the aftermath of her death, he loses his sense of humor and his career.

Then, after two years of mourning her, he sees an article in the paper about a factory worker named Julio Santiago who fell into a giant vat of dough and was kneaded to death. For reasons Michael doesn’t understand, he decides to go to the man’s wake. There he meets and bonds with Julio’s twenty-nine-year-old daughter Elena, a law student who is reeling from her father’s unexpected and preposterous death.

Three months later, she calls him out of the blue and suggests that the two of them drive to North Carolina to speak with another survivor like themselves Elena has found on the Internet. Their road trip is a darkly funny journey of healing that takes them deep into the heart of their grief and others and then beyond it to a place of peace and laughter.


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True Love Will Never Die!
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My Evil Mother: A Short Story

Read: April 2022

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My Evil Mother: A Short Story

by Margaret Atwood

My Evil Mother: A Short Story by Margaret Atwood was a free book with your Prime Reading membership. I have always enjoyed reading Ms. Atwood’s books. My Evil Mother was an enjoyable read and reminded me why she is a great author and why short stories are unique and special. As the NY Times described, My Evil Mother, is a bittersweet short story about mothers, daughters’ witches’ brew of love—and control. I highly recommend it as it is one of my best books this year. 

Goodreads provides a concise overview.

Life is hard enough for a teenage girl in 1950s suburbia without having a mother who may—or may not—be a witch. A single mother at that. Sure, she fits in with her starched dresses, string of pearls, and floral aprons. Then there are the hushed and mystical consultations with neighborhood women in distress. The unsavory, mysterious plants in the flower beds. The divined warning to steer clear of a boyfriend whose fate is certainly doomed. But as the daughter of this bewitching homemaker comes of age and her mother’s claims become more and more outlandish, she begins to question everything she once took for granted.

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The Secrets we Left Behind

Read: March 2022

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The Secrets We Left Behind

The Secrets We Left Behind by Soraya M. Lane is a historical fiction that raises the question, where were the women after Dunkirk and the fall of France? When World War II appeared to have been lost with a Nazi victory. Ms. Lane watched the movie Dunkirk and then researched that time and the women’s possible roles during that difficult moment in history.

She connected the evacuation at Dunkirk to the Massacre at Le Paradis, fifty miles away, to connect a British nurse and two French women whose strength helps them survive Nazi-occupied France. Three British male soldiers, two of whom survived the massacre and one who escaped Dunkirk, have secondary roles in the novel. 

The Secrets We Left Behind is the story of the three strong women and their efforts to survive the occupation while hiding the three soldiers. This focus on the role of women has been long overdue in history. Ms. Lane, who studied to be a lawyer, has found a career as a writer. The Secrets We Left Behind is the first book I have read, but it will not be the last one by Ms. Lane that I read.

I strongly recommend this book!

The Goodreads synopsis provides an overview of the novel.

How far will they go for family, friendship, and love? Occupied France, 1940. When the staff at a field hospital draw straws to find out who will join the evacuation from Dunkirk, Nurse Cate is left behind. But when the Nazis arrive to claim prisoners of war, she takes her chance and flees into the night, taking one patient with her.

Fifty miles away, the surrendering soldiers of the Royal Norfolk Regiment are shot dead by the advancing Germans. Beneath the pile of bodies, two men survive, crawling to the safety of a nearby farmhouse, where sisters Elise and Adelaide risk their lives to take them in. When Cate, too, arrives at their door with her injured soldier, the pressure mounts.

The sisters are risking everything to keep their visitors safe. But with the Nazis coming ever closer and relationships in the farmhouse intensifying, they must all question the sacrifices they are willing to make for the lives of others. How far will they go for family, friendship, and love?

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The Ferryman: A Novel

Read: May 2023

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The Ferryman: A Novel

by Justin Cronin

The novel, “The Ferryman,” by Justin Cronin, is set in the beautiful archipelago of Prospera. People lead long and fulfilling lives in this society until their forearm monitors drop below 10%. Then, they retire to the Nursery. Their memories are wiped clean, and they start a new life as sixteen-year-olds.

Although the book was recently published, I hesitated to read it due to the unsettling notion of having my memories wiped clean. However, my curiosity got the best of me, and I’m glad it did. Proctor Bennett, the protagonist, works as a ferryman, assisting people through retirement. But things worsen when Proctor starts dreaming, which is impossible in Prospera, and his monitor percentage rapidly decreases. Are these dreams fragments of a past that they cannot recall?

Amidst all this, rumors about the Arrivalists, who oppose the societal structure, and even the Support Staff, who keep Prospera functioning, are questioning their roles. Proctor finds himself caught up in a more significant cause than expected and sets out to uncover the truth.

Without giving away too much, things are not always what they seem in Prospera.

As a widow, I found this line particularly poignant: “That loss was love’s accounting, its unit of measure, as a foot was made of inches, a yard was made of feet.”

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book; it kept me engaged and excited, and my Kindle was my go-to device for reading it. I highly recommend this novel.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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She's Up to No Good

Read: July 2022

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She’s Up to No Good

by Sara Goodman Confino

After writing Road Trippin, I needed to read about other homeward-bound journeys that help us find peace and a future after a tragedy. Today I started reading She’s Up to No Good by Sara Goodman Confino. The book is a funny, poignant, and life-affirming novel about family, secrets, and broken hearts. It may be the best read for my days in San Diego.

It was the perfect read for my time at Camp, as it was a life-affirming novel. As much as I know that life continues, She’s Up to No Good reaffirmed my belief.

I highly recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Four years into her marriage, Jenna is blindsided when her husband asks for a divorce. With time on her hands and her life in flux, she agrees to accompany her eccentric grandmother Evelyn on a road trip to the seaside Massachusetts town where much of their family history was shaped.

When they hit the road, Evelyn spins the tale of the star-crossed teenage romance that captured her heart more than seventy years ago and changed the course of her life. She insists the return to her hometown isn’t about that at all—no matter how much she talks about Tony, her unforgettable and forbidden first love.

Upon arrival, Jenna meets Tony’s attentive great-nephew Joe. The new friendship and fresh ocean air give her the confidence and distance she needs to begin putting the pain of a broken marriage behind her.

As the secrets and truths of Evelyn’s past unfold, Jenna discovers a new side of her grandmother, and of herself, that she never knew existed—and learns that the possibilities for healing can come at the most unexpected times in a woman’s life.


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The Women: A Novel

Read: February 2024

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The Women: A Novel

by Kristin Hannah

I started reading “The Women: A Novel” by Kristin Hannah today. This book is written by the same author who wrote “The Nightingale” and “The Four Winds.” “The Women” is a story set in a difficult time, depicting a woman’s coming-of-age journey and an epic tale of a divided nation. It highlights that women can be heroes, too.

When twenty-year-old nursing student Frances “Frankie” McGrath hears these words, it is a revelation to her. She was raised in Southern California’s sun-drenched, idyllic world and was sheltered by her conservative parents. She has always prided herself on doing the right thing. However, in 1965, the world is changing, and Frankie suddenly dares to imagine a different future for herself. When her brother ships out to serve in Vietnam, she decides to join the Army Nurse Corps and follows his path.

Frankie, who is as inexperienced as the young men sent to fight in Vietnam, is struggling to cope with the chaos and destruction of war. Every day is a life-or-death gamble that can be filled with hope, betrayal, and shattered friendships. In this brutal reality, she encounters and becomes one of the lucky, the brave, the broken, and the lost.

War is just the beginning for Frankie and her veteran friends. The actual battle awaits when they return home to a divided and changing America, met by angry protesters and a nation wanting to forget Vietnam.

The Women” is a novel that tells the story of a woman who goes to war. Still, its purpose is to bring attention to all the women who have put themselves in danger for their country and whose sacrifice and dedication have often been overlooked. The book is about solid friendships and patriotism, and it portrays a brave and idealistic heroine whose courage in times of war will become a defining moment in history.

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Yellowface

Read: June 2023

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Yellowface: A Novel

by R.F. Kuang

I began reading Yellowface, a novel by R.F. Kuang, today. The storyline has been captivating as I scroll through the pages on my Kindle App. The book explores important themes such as cultural diversity, racism, the negative impact of cultural appropriation, and the alienation caused by social media. I find the protagonist, June Hayward, relatable and enjoyable to read about while experiencing Yellowface on my Kindle App.

June and Athena were both talented writers, but Athena’s success overshadowed June’s. After Athena’s sudden death, June rashly steals her completed manuscript, a groundbreaking novel about the Chinese laborers who contributed to World War I. June edits the book and takes credit for it, even going so far as to change her name and ethnicity for marketing purposes. She believes the story deserves to be told, regardless of who tells it.

As June’s book becomes a bestseller, she is haunted by the guilt of stealing Athena’s work. Her secret becomes harder to keep as evidence of her theft surfaces. June must confront her actions and decide how far she will go to protect her newfound success.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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