Rabbi Renee and Me

Rabbi Renee’s First Shabbat in Tinton Falls

Discovering Life's Timeless Realities

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 6 seconds
Rabbi Renee and Me

Rabbi Renee and Me at Her First Shabbat at Monmouth Reform Temple

I was honored when Rabbi Renee invited me to her inaugural Shabbat services at the Monmouth Reform Temple (MRT) in Tinton Falls on July 7th. With over one hundred and ninety congregants expected, she requested my presence to offer a calming influence from the front pew. Her generous offer included a seat with her family, treating me like one of their own. Despite my reservations about my ability to offer comfort, I accepted the invitation, even with the potential traffic issues on a summer Friday evening near the shore.

Surprisingly, there was less traffic than anticipated, and I arrived early on Friday night. As I entered the MRT, I immediately noticed a banner welcoming Rabbi Renee Edelman and heard her voice. As I made my way down the hallway, Cantor Gabrielle Clissold hugged me and remembered me from the second night of Passover Seder. Every person I encountered, whether we had met before or not, was friendly and welcoming throughout the evening. Rabbi Renee even introduced me to her MRT family, which made me feel included and grateful that I had attended the Shabbat services.

Rabbi Renee has been an incredible source of strength and comfort for my wife, Jan, and me. Her unwavering support throughout Jan’s battle with lymphoma was truly invaluable. Even after Jan’s passing, Rabbi Renee continued to show love and compassion, providing hope.

With Rabbi Renee’s guidance, I discovered solace and comfort in Merrit Malloy’s Epitaph. This newfound understanding of life’s eternal truth has allowed me to navigate my grief and fully embrace Jan’s spirit. I am forever grateful for the unwavering love and support of my family, friends, and fellow widows. Thanks to Rabbi Renee, I can live life to the fullest.

Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.

Rabbi Dr. Renee Goldberg Edelman speaks about Jan and how much she misses her at Celebrate Jan Day.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Love Generates Quasi-buried Treasures

During my morning walk, I reflected on the intensity of my dream and how our love deepened over time. Lorrie Moore's quote, "Love was its little generator of quasi-buried treasure," filled me with happiness. I felt like expressing my love for you loudly and publicly, like shouting it from the rooftops!

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Rabbi Renee and Me

Epitaph by Merrit Malloy

Discovering Life's Timeless Realities

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 6 seconds

When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.
 
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me.
 
I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.
 
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not your mind.
 
You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.
 
Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.

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Light to the Hills

Read: January 2023

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Light to the Hills: A Novel

by Bonnie Blaylock

Light to the Hills: A Novel by Bonnie Blaylock is about Amanda Rye, a young widowed mother and traveling packhorse librarian who comes through a mountain community struck by the nation’s economic collapse in the 1930s. I recommend this page-turner as it highlights the importance of family and community. From this foundation, truth lights a path toward survival, mountain justice, forgiveness, and hope.

The novel was recommended by Olivia Hawker, bestselling author of The Fire and the Ore, who said, “Light to the Hills is a touching meditation on motherhood and the importance of community, especially during difficult times.”

Last year I read a modern tale about Appalachia, Demon Copperhead. Both are good novels but very different.

Light to the Hills was a feel-good read despite the problems faced by Ms. Rye and the MacInteer family. It was precisely the book I needed to read this week.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

The folks in the Kentucky Appalachians are scraping by. Coal mining and hardscrabble know-how are a way of life for these isolated people. But when Amanda Rye, a young widowed mother and traveling packhorse librarian, comes through a mountain community walloped by the nation’s economic collapse, she brings with her hope, courage, and apple pie. Along the way, Amanda takes a shine to the MacInteer family, especially to the gentle Rai, her quick-study daughter, Sass, and Finn, the eldest son who’s easy to warm to. They remind Amanda of her childhood and her parents with whom she longs to be reconciled.

Her connection with the MacInteers deepens, and Amanda shares with them a dangerous secret from her past. When that secret catches up with Amanda in the present, she, Rai, Sass, and Finn find their lives intersecting—and threatened—in the most unexpected ways. Now, they must come together as the truth lights a path toward survival, mountain justice, forgiveness, and hope.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Kairos

Read: June 2023

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Kairos by Jenny Erpenbeck

by Jenny Erpenbeck

I’ve recently delved into the captivating novel Kairos by Jenny Erpenbeck, which has left a lasting impression on me. The book tells the story of a young woman named Katharina who falls in love with a married writer named Hans, whom she met in East Berlin during the late 1980s. The historical context of Germany’s reunification is already an intriguing topic, but the addition of a love story made this book a must-read.

As their intense and complicated relationship plays out against the backdrop of a declining GDR, the novel offers a unique perspective on the tumultuous period following the country’s dissolution in 1989. Erpenbeck’s writing style is unmistakable, and her sweeping portrayal of the two lovers’ journey is truly remarkable. We witness Katharina’s growth as she tries to reconcile the reality of her lousy romance with the disappearance of an entire world and its ideologies.

The Times Literary Supplement has praised Erpenbeck’s ability to capture the weight of history and the influence of cultural and subjective memory on individual identity. Her work acknowledges the complexity of the human experience and the nuances of historical events.

Jenny Erpenbeck is an epic storyteller and a highly respected voice in contemporary German literature. Her translator, Michael Hofmann, has described Kairos as a great post-Unification novel, and his translation has been praised for being both faithful to the original text and beautifully written. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking a thought-provoking and engaging read.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Cemetery of Untold Stories

Read: April 2024

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The Cemetery of Untold Stories

by Julia Alvarez

Today, I began reading Julia Alvarez‘s novel “The Cemetery of Untold Stories.” The book explores whose stories deserve to be told and whose should remain buried. In the end, Alma, the main character, finds meaning in the power of storytelling. Julia Alvarez reminds us that our stories are never truly finished, even at the end.

Alma Cruz, a famous writer, doesn’t want to suffer the same fate as her friend, who became mentally unstable after struggling to finish a book. So, when Alma inherits a small plot of land in her native Dominican Republic, she turns it into a cemetery for her unfinished stories. She hopes her characters will finally be able to rest in peace.

However, they have other ideas and soon begin to rewrite and revise themselves, even talking and interacting with one another. Fortunately, Filomena, a local woman hired as the groundskeeper, becomes a listener to Alma’s characters’ secret tales. These tales include those of Bienvenida, the abandoned wife of dictator Rafael Trujillo, who was erased from official history, and Manuel Cruz, a doctor who fought in the Dominican underground and escaped to the United States.

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The Emperor of Gladness

Read: May 2025

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The Emperor of Gladness

by Ocean Vuong

In “The Emperor of Gladness,” Ocean Vuong explores the interconnected themes of history, memory, and time, revealing how love, labor, and loneliness are the foundation of American life. At its core, the narrative presents a courageous epic that examines what it means to live on the margins of society and confront the wounds that affect our shared humanity. It highlights the lengths we are willing to go to grasp one of life’s most fleeting gifts: a second chance.

One late summer evening in the post-industrial town of East Gladness, Connecticut, nineteen-year-old Hai stands on the edge of a bridge in pelting rain, ready to jump, when he hears someone shout across the river. The voice belongs to Grazina, an elderly widow succumbing to dementia, who convinces him to take another path. Bereft and out of options, he quickly becomes her caretaker. Over the year, the unlikely pair develops a life-altering bond, one built on empathy, spiritual reckoning, and heartbreak, with the power to transform Hai’s relationship with himself, his family, and a community on the brink.

Hallmarks of Ocean Vuong‘s writing—formal innovation, syntactic dexterity, and the ability to twin grit with grace through tenderness—are on full display in this story.


Ocean Vuong is the author of the critically acclaimed poetry collections Night Sky with Exit Wounds and Time Is a Mother, as well as the New York Times bestselling novel On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous. A recipient of the MacArthur Fellowship and the American Book Award, he once worked as a fast-food server, which inspired The Emperor of Gladness. Born in Saigon, Vietnam, he currently splits his time between Northampton, Massachusetts, and New York City.



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The Young Man

Read: April 2026

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The Young Man: A Memoir

by Annie Ernaux

Annie Ernaux, the winner of the 2022 Nobel Prize in Literature, is the author of “The Young Man,” which chronicles her passionate love affair with A., a man about 30 years her junior, while she was in her fifties. This relationship prompts her to reflect on her own youth while also making her feel ageless, as if she is living her life in reverse.

Amidst talk of having a child together, she feels time running its course, and menopause approaching. The Young Man recalls Ernaux as the “scandalous girl” she once was, but is composed with the mastery and the self-assurance she has achieved across decades of writing. The book was published in France in 2022


Annie Ernaux, the winner of the 2022 Nobel Prize in Literature, is the author of approximately twenty works of fiction and memoir. She received the Prix Renaudot for her book A Man’s Place and the Marguerite Yourcenar Prize for her body of work. Additionally, she has won the International Strega Prize and the French-American Translation Prize and was shortlisted for the Man Booker International Prize for her book The Years. In 2019, Ernaux was awarded the Prix Formentor. She is now recognized as France’s most important literary voice and is the first French woman to win the Nobel Prize in Literature.

Alison L. Strayer is a Canadian writer and translator whose work has been shortlisted for the Governor General’s Award for Literature and Translation, the Grand Prix du livre de Montréal, and the Prix littéraire France-Québec. She currently resides in Paris.



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August Lane: A Novel

Read: August 2025

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August Lane: A Novel

by Regina Black

“August Lane” by Regina Black is a captivating small-town romance that explores love, forgiveness, and the significance of Black women’s voices in country music. As the author of “The Art of Scandal,” Black brings her storytelling expertise to this narrative. Fans of “The Final Revival of Opal & Nev” by Dawnie Walton, which focuses on Black female empowerment, will find similar themes in “August Lane.”

Every Thursday night, former country music heartthrob Luke Randall has to sing “Another Love Song.” God, he hates that song. But performing his lone hit at an interstate motel lounge is the only regular money he still has. Following another lackluster performance at the rock bottom of his career, Luke receives the opportunity of his dreams, opening for his childhood idol–90’s era Black country music star, JoJo Lane, who’s being inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame.

But the concert is in Arcadia, Arkansas, the small hometown he swore he’d never see again. Going back means facing a painful past of abuse and neglect. It also means facing JoJo’s daughter, August Lane — the woman who wrote the lyrics he’s always claimed as his own. This story holds personal significance for Regina Black, as it reflects her own experiences and struggles.

August also hates that song. But she hates Luke Randall even more. When he shows up ten years too late to apologize for his betrayal, she isn’t interested in making amends. Instead, she threatens to expose his lies unless he co-writes a new song with her and performs it at the concert, something she hopes will launch her out of her mother’s shadow and into a songwriting career of her own. Desperate to keep his secret, Luke agrees to put on the rogue performance, despite the risk of losing his shot at a new record deal.

When Luke’s guitar reunites with August’s soulful alto, neither can deny that the passionate bond they formed as teenagers is still there. As the concert nears, August will have to choose between an overdue public reckoning with the boy who betrayed her or trusting the man he’s become to write a different love song. This story is a testament to the transformative power of love and forgiveness, offering hope and optimism to all who read it.


Regina Black, a former civil litigator and current law school administrator, is a lifelong romance reader with a deep passion for the representation of Black women in popular culture. Her residence in Little Rock, Arkansas, with her husband and daughter, is a testament to her commitment to this cause.



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