Perplexed But Devoted

Estimated reading time: 14 minutes, 46 seconds

Celebration

Standing at the Hunter School of Social Work entrance, I waited for Jan to exit her class. A year ago, when she started studying for her MSW, I would meet her after every class. On numerous occasions, we walked for blocks hand in hand, enjoying being in love. When she accidentally revealed she had a boyfriend in the Spring of this year, I stopped picking her up from class. I feared her boyfriend would be there to meet her. 

Jan,” I smiled as she walked down the stairs and entered the lobby.

As she approached me, I leaned in and kissed her as I took her book bag from her. 

It’s been a long time since you met me after class.

My new job keeps me busy,” I said half-heartedly, as it was, of course, not the real reason. 

Carol, my friend from school, is going to her family’s Italian restaurant. She has to work as a waiter tonight. We could go with her and celebrate there.

I nodded, and the three of us proceeded to the subway as the restaurant was on Houston Street. 

Jan and Carol kept talking about the test they had taken, and I listened while holding onto Jan’s hand.

Entering the restaurant, Carol’s mother greeted us. 

Mom, my friend Jan was offered a job today, and she and her husband, Richard, came with me to celebrate.

“That is wonderful news,” Carol’s mom responded as she hugged Jan and kissed her on both cheeks. 

Carol gave us menus as we sat down. 

“Let me check with my dad to see if there are any specials.”

Jan ordered Veal Parmigiana, and I selected Lasagna.

Carol delivered the antipasto that Jan and I would share.

“My dad and mom said the wine is gratis,” she announced as she placed a bottle of wine on the table. 

I only took a small amount of wine as we started eating the antipasto. 

Carol’s dad brought out the entrée and congratulated Jan.

As much as I wanted to talk to Jan about her day and the new job, we had very little private time as Carol’s parents, other customers, and the kitchen staff stopped by our table to congratulate Jan. 

While Jan paid the bill with her credit card, I picked up the wine bottle to see if there was enough to take home. The bottle was empty, and I had only had a third of a glass. 


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12 comments add your comment

  1. Excellent story…I never heard of any couple making almost the same salary!!

    Funny and sad story, but I enjoyed it!!

    • Thanks, Hugo, for your comment.

      Jan and I chose similar work focused on repairing the world. As a result, our salaries were both modest. That we ended with wages almost the same at the end is not all that surprising. If Jan had lived and continued to work at the YWCA for the last two years, her total compensation would have surpassed mine.

      I agree that the story, like life, is humorous and sad simultaneously. I write from my heart, and the articles reflect the complexity of the lives Jan and I lived and how life is complicated.

      The love that Jan and I shared will never die.

      In closing I wanted to share share a poem from Evergreen by Kirsten Robinson. Her poems are a tribute to the enduring resilience of human nature as we cycle through times of light and darkness, much like nature itself.

        Give thanks for all
        that is good and beautiful;
        the gifts you carry
        people who lift you up
        your big, big love
        faith and trust that your life
        is unfolding as it should

        Give thanks for all
        that has been difficult and hard;
        trials tribulations tears
        tests of self strength fears
        all of the unknowns and days
        that broke you

        Without the darkness
        you would not have
        learned to appreciate the light

      Thanks for your friendship and support.

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A Small Sacrifice for an Enormous Happiness

Read: April 2023

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A Small Sacrifice for an Enormous Happiness

by Jai Chakrabarti

I recently discovered an excellent short story collection called A Small Sacrifice for an Enormous Happiness: Stories by Jai Chakrabarti. This author won the National Jewish Book Award for debut fiction with his novel A Play for the End of the World, and it is clear that his talent extends to the short story form as well.

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I highly recommend A Small Sacrifice for an Enormous Happiness: Stories if you want a book exploring love and family’s complexities in uncertain times. Each story is a masterful exploration of what it means to cultivate a family across borders, religions, and races. I look forward to reading more by Jai Chakrabarti in the future.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In the fourteen masterful stories of this collection, Jai Chakrabarti crosses continents and cultures to explore what it means to cultivate a family across borders, religions, and races today.

In the title story, a closeted gay man in 1980s Kolkata seeks to have a child with his lover’s wife. An Indian widow, engaged to a Jewish man, struggles to balance her cultural identity with the rituals and traditions of her newfound family. An American musician travels to see his guru for the final time—and makes a promise he cannot keep. A young woman from an Indian village arrives in Brooklyn to care for the toddler of a biracial couple. And a mystical agent is sent by a mother to solve her son’s domestic problems.

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Maggie Stiefvater is the New York Times bestselling author of the Shiver trilogy, The Raven Cycle, and The Scorpio Races, among dozens of other YA fantasy novels. Her books have sold over five million copies worldwide. She lives in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia with her husband and their two children.



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Read: February 2023

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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