Flying Alone to Camp Widow

Flying Alone to Camp Widow

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 42 seconds

Jan the GardenerI have never liked the word widow. It is better than widower but does not describe who or how I am.

But today, for the first time since COVID, I am flying across the continental US to attend Camp Widow.

Perhaps for seventy-two hours, I will need to smile and accept being called a widow.

Flying alone should be no different than living alone.

Perhaps I will fly high enough to blow a kiss to Jan.

Love never dies.


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Am I Still Married or Am I Widowed?

Am I still married, or am I widowed? is a question that I mull over.

Most of my family and friends never think about it as they are sure I am a widow, and they based this on the legal and religious definition of marriage only lasting "till death do us part."

I always believed Jan and I were married for eternity when we met.

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Flying Alone to Camp Widow
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Half His Age

Read: January 2026

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Half His Age: A Novel

by Jennette McCurdy

Half His Age by Jennette McCurdy is a strikingly insightful and humorously poignant character study of a yearning seventeen-year-old girl who faces numerous obstacles—or attempts to overcome them—in her quest to be seen, desired, and loved. This novel is a blend of sadness, humor, and thrills, exploring themes of sex, consumerism, class, desire, loneliness, the internet, rage, intimacy, power, and the often misguided lengths we go to obtain what we want. The New York Times has listed it as one of “The Novels Everyone Will Be Talking About in 2026.”

Waldo is ravenous. Horny. Blunt. Naive. Wise. Impulsive. Lonely. Angry. Forceful. Hurting. Perceptive. Endlessly wanting. And the thing she wants most of all: Mr. Korgy, her creative writing teacher with the wife and the kid and the mortgage and the bills, with the dead dreams and the atrophied looks and the growing paunch. She doesn’t know why she wants him. Is it his passion? His life experience? The fact that he knows books and films and things that she doesn’t? Or is it purer than that, rooted in their unlikely connection, their kindred spirits, the similar filter with which they each take in the world around them? Or, it’s just enough that he sees her when no one else does.


Jennette McCurdy is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” which won the 2023 American Library Association Alex Award. The book has been published in over thirty countries and has sold more than three million copies. McCurdy is also creating, writing, and executive producing an Apple TV+ series loosely inspired by “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” starring Jennifer Aniston. Additionally, “Half His Age” is her debut novel.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Swimmers: A Novel

Read: October 2022

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The Swimmers: A Novel

by Julie Otsuka

The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka is a novel about what happens to a group of obsessed recreational swimmers when a crack appears at the bottom of their local pool. This searing, intimate story of mothers and daughters—and the sorrows of implacable loss—is the most commanding and unforgettable work yet from a modern master. I highly recommend The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka.

The novel was a page-turner from the first to the last page. It had been on my to-read list for months, and I am happy to start reading The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka

Memory loss is a frightening situation for anyone. Ms. Otuska writes powerfully and eloquently about Alice’s loss of her memory. I felt as if it was one of my loved ones.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

The swimmers are unknown to one another except through their private routines (slow lane, medium lane, fast lane) and the solace each takes in their morning or afternoon laps. But when a crack appears at the bottom of the pool, they are cast out into an unforgiving world without comfort or relief.

One of these swimmers is Alice, who is slowly losing her memory. The pool was a final stand against the darkness of her encroaching dementia for Alice. Without the fellowship of other swimmers and the routine of her daily laps, she is plunged into dislocation and chaos, swept into memories of her childhood and the Japanese American incarceration camp where she spent the war. Alice’s estranged daughter, reentering her mother’s life too late, witnesses her stark and devastating decline.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Black River

Read: November 2024

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Black River: A Novel

by Nilanjana S. Roy

Today, I dove into the captivating pages of “Black River” by Nilanjana S. Roy, a standout selection from The New York Times’ 100 Notable Books of 2024. This compelling debut novel unfolds against contemporary India, a country grappling with rising religious intolerance. Roy’s storytelling is nothing short of mesmerizing, intricately weaving a narrative that vividly reflects the nation’s complexities and contradictions.

Teetapur, an unassuming village just a few hours outside bustling Delhi, is known for nothing—until the discovery of an 8-year-old girl named Munia, found dead and hanging from the branch of a Jamun tree. In this predominantly Hindu village, suspicion quickly falls on Mansoor, an itinerant Muslim man. The tension ignites like wildfire, intensified by the underlying religious discord.

The responsibility for uncovering the elusive truth—and preventing the lynching of the prime suspect—falls on the weary shoulders of Sub-Inspector Ombir Singh. With only one other officer under his command and a single working revolver between them, can he bring justice to a grieving father and an angry village? Or will Teetapur demand vengeance instead?

Black River” offers readers a gripping mystery and a sweeping analysis of the nation’s state, serving as a searing critique of modern India.



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The Book of V

Read: October 2021

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The Book of V

by Anna Solomon

The Book of V by Anna Solomon is a book that I may not have read at another time in my life, and I did find it to be a book that I could not stop reading.

Goodreads summarizes its plot.

Anna Solomon’s kaleidoscopic novel intertwines the lives of a Brooklyn mother in 2016, a senator’s wife in 1970s Washington, D.C., and the Bible’s Queen Esther, whose stories of sex, power and desire overlap and ultimately converge—showing how women’s roles have and have not changed over thousands of years.

Being Jewish, I knew the story of Queen Esther, although this version added new layers of the story that I did not know. The book’s illumination that women’s roles have not changed over thousands of years was something I knew but did not fully understand.

The three characters are very vivid and weave a story that is worth reading.

Lily is a mother and a daughter. And a second wife. And a writer, maybe? Or she was going to be, before she had children. Now, in her rented Brooklyn apartment, she’s grappling with her sexual and intellectual desires while also trying to manage her roles as a mother and a wife.

Vivian Barr seems to be the perfect political wife, dedicated to helping her charismatic and ambitious husband find success in Watergate-era Washington D.C. But one night he demands a humiliating favor, and her refusal to obey changes the course of her life—along with the lives of others.

Esther is a fiercely independent young woman in ancient Persia, where she and her uncle’s tribe live a tenuous existence outside the palace walls. When an innocent mistake results in devastating consequences for her people, she is offered up as a sacrifice to please the king, in the hopes that she will save them all.

I recommend this book.

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Eternal Summer

Read: May 2025

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Eternal Summer

by Franziska Gänsler

Today, I plunged into Eternal Summer, the captivating debut novel by Franziska Gänsler, beautifully translated by Imogen Taylor. Set against the urgent backdrop of a German spa town grappling with the harsh realities of climate change, this gripping story weaves a tale of trust, abuse, and solidarity. It explores the profound and unexpected bond that forms between two women, drawing readers into an intense emotional journey that’s both compelling and thought-provoking.

When Iris took over the family hotel from her grandfather, Bad Heim was still a popular spa destination. However, fierce wildfires rage in the area, filling the air with smoke. The summers have become dry and unbearably hot, seemingly endless. Guests have become a rare sight. Suddenly, a young mother arrives with her small daughter and asks for a room. Something feels off about her. Does she need help, or could she be a threat?

Franziska Gänsler’s debut novel vividly captures the intensity of the fires, the ashes falling on skin, and the pervasive smell of smoke. Despite the inhospitable setting, you will be inspired by the resilience of these women as they grow closer and prepare to fight for their freedom.


Franziska Gänsler was born in Augsburg in 1987. She studied art and English in Berlin, Vienna, and Augsburg. In 2020, she was short-listed for the Blogbuster Prize and was a finalist at Berlin’s 28th Open Mike competition. Gänsler lives in Augsburg and Berlin. Eternal Summer is her debut novel.

Imogen Taylor was born in London in 1978 and has lived in Berlin since 2001. She is the translator of Sascha Arango, Dirk Kurbjuweit, and Melanie Raabe. Her translation of Sasha Marianna Salzmann’s Beside Myself (Other Press, 2020) was short-listed for the 2021 Helen & Kurt Wolff Translator’s and 2020 Schlegel-Tieck prizes.



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Grand Rapids: A Novel

Read: January 2026

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Grand Rapids: A Novel

by Natasha Stagg

Natasha Stagg‘s “Grand Rapids” is a coming-of-age story set in the Michigan suburbs in the early 2000s. Alexander Calder’s public sculpture, “La Grande Vitesse”, installed alongside the Grand River in downtown Grand Rapids, has become a symbol of the city. Tess moved there from Ypsilanti, Michigan, in 2001—the same year her mother passed away, marking the beginning of a time when everything felt like it was moving in slow motion for her.

Thrust into adolescence nearly rudderless, fifteen-year-old Tess is intoxicated, angsty, and sexually awake. A decade later, inspired by diary entries and TV reruns, she remembers this summer in the suburbs as the one that redefined her. Its echoes of death are frozen in time, like the waves represented in Calder’s sculpture or the concrete steps leading down to the churning river. She sees Grand Rapids as a collection of architecture and emblems, another home to which she cannot return.


Natasha Stagg is the author of Surveys: A Novel (2016), Sleeveless: Fashion, Image, Media, New York 2011–2019 (2019), and Artless: Stories 2019–2023 (2023). She lives in New York City.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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