The Day Jan and I Married!

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes, 58 seconds

Jan’s Wedding Vows

And in the name of love, Richard Brown, I promise to love you, cherish you, respect you, and honor you in all the different times of our lives and as long as we both possess life.
To allow you the space, you need to be yourself, a separate person, and yet to try and unite us as two people together.
To support and aid you, honestly and realistically, and to allow me to be helped in the same way. 
To understand, accept, and respect you and our differences, and yet try and bridge those differences to enable us to change and grow together.
All of this I pledge on this day of our marriage, and from this time forth.

Jan’s Wedding vows, August 9, 1975

Once Jan finished her vows, she placed my wedding ring on my finger and said, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Richard’s Wedding Vows

Today is the time for our marriage. Before our families, friends, neighbors, and God, I promise to you, Janice Caren Lilien, not only to love you but to honor, cherish, and respect you all the days and nights of our lives. 
I pledge to both encourage and assist you in being true to yourself even as we make the difficult struggle to unite ourselves initially as a family of two.
I pledge to not only be your husband but your friend, always attempting as best as I can to accept and understand our similarities and differences.
All this I pledge to you on this day of our marriage and from this time forth.

RICHARD’S WEDDDING VOWS, AUGUST 9, 1975

When I finished my vows, I took a deep breath to hold back the tears forming in my throat. I then placed Jan’s wedding ring on her hand and said louder than my vows, “With this ring Janice Caren Lilien, I thee wed now and forever!”

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30 comments add your comment

  1. What a great story as well as funny…You described the wedding as if it happened yesterday!!

    • Hugo, thank you very much for commenting on The Day Jan and I Married.

      In my mind, the day Jan and I married was, in fact, yesterday. It was an essential public statement to family and friends that the love Jan and I shared was not an infatuation but a long-term commitment. Jan’s love transformed me and made me a better person.

      Like life itself, love can be fragile. When I write about our early days, I must accept that our love and marriage might not have happened.

        My commitment to my imaginary girlfriend kept me from pursuing Jan even though I felt a strong and unique attraction to Jan when I met her at the December 1972 VISTA Training.

        Jan could have decided that her parent’s opposition was enough to convince her not to marry me.

        Jan might have had a boyfriend when I went to her party, and I would have only a casual friend.

      If any of those had occurred, I might have been a lifelong bachelor, or perhaps the imaginary girlfriend would not have left me.

      As I wrote, the highest honor of my life was and always will be being Jan’s husband. Love never dies, and my passion for Jan will never end.

      The amateur writing I do comes from my heart and soul and flows thru my fingers like the tides in the Bay of Fundy.

      Hugo, I would write more often if I had more readers like you.

      I appreciate your friendship and support during the most challenging chapter of my life.

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The Anniversary

Read: July 2023

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The Anniversary

by Stephanie Bishop

I began reading Stephanie Bishop‘s novel, The Anniversary, today. The Anniversary is a brilliantly written novel with a gripping and fast-paced storyline. It poses some interesting questions: how blurred is the boundary between reality and fiction in a writer’s thoughts? How can we reject those we yearn for? And what are the consequences for ourselves, others, and our creativity if we don’t?

J.B. Blackwood, a novelist, is on a cruise with her husband, Patrick, to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Her husband is much older than her and was her former professor, film director, and cult figure. When they first met, he appeared ageless, like a god in the eyes of those who worship them. However, his success is dwindling, while J.B. is on the verge of winning a major literary prize. Previously, her husband always oversaw her art, but now it may overshadow him.

As they sail in the sun for days, with only dark water surrounding them, a storm unexpectedly strikes, and Patrick falls from the ship. J.B. is left alone, and the search for the truth about their marriage and what happened to Patrick begins.

The Anniversary is highly recommended for readers who enjoy Lisa Halliday and Susan Choi’s works. The story revolves around a talented writer who has to confront the unresolved death of her spouse and find the courage to stand on her own. It is a captivating page-turner that will keep you hooked till the end.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Witch: A Novel

Read: April 2026

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The Witch: A Novel

by Marie Ndiaye

The Witch” by Marie Ndiaye, the recipient of the Gold Medal in the Arts from the Kennedy Center International Committee on the Arts, is shortlisted for the International Booker Prize. In a small, sleepy town, a mediocre witch in a lackluster marriage attempts to pass on her gifts to her twin daughters, who quickly prove to possess abilities far greater than her own.

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Marie Ndiaye was born in Pithiviers, France. She is the author of Rosie Carpe, winner of the Prix Femina, and of Three Strong Women, winner of the Prix Goncourt. Her recent novel, Vengeance is Mine, was a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award for Fiction. She is also the recipient of the Kennedy Center International Committee on the Arts Gold Medal. She lives in Paris.

Translated by Jordan Stump.



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Read: June 2025

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Maggie Stiefvater‘s latest historical fiction, The Listeners, is now available in stores today, and it’s an enthralling read that you won’t want to put down. Set against the backdrop of January 1942, the luxurious Avallon Hotel & Spa stands as a beacon of elegance amid the rugged beauty of West Virginia, its refreshing mountain waters promising to wash away the worries of high society until it is ordered to house Axis diplomats. Stiefvater‘s meticulous research and attention to historical detail bring this era to life in a way that will captivate any history buff.

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June is known for her ability to charm any guest, but these diplomats challenge her mastery. They’ve waged a silent war at her doorstep, forcing her to confront the reality that clashing loyalties threaten to shatter Avallon’s polished exterior. As June navigates this treacherous terrain, she must weigh the actual cost of luxury and decide what she’s willing to sacrifice in a time of conflict.


Maggie Stiefvater is the New York Times bestselling author of the Shiver trilogy, The Raven Cycle, and The Scorpio Races, among dozens of other YA fantasy novels. Her books have sold over five million copies worldwide. She lives in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia with her husband and their two children.



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Read: January 2022

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Send for Me

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Read: December 2024

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Read: October 2021

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The City We Became: A Novel

by N. K. Jemisin

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