Sharing Jan’s Love

What I am doing is sharing her love. The love they receive increases as they share it with others.

Biking, Hiking, and
Searching for Love!

“June, what do you think of this flyer before I mimeograph it,” I asked the Church secretary. I had developed on my own the idea of a summer bike trip to youth hostels in Pennsylvania, with the final one in Cape Cod.

The recruitment flyer was the last step in finding the pre-teens and starting the summer biking trips.

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Jan’s Parents Oppose
Our Marriage Plans

“Why would those people want to come to NJ for your wedding,” someone asked?” It felt like this question had been dropped like a live grenade onto the table while we dined with Jan’s family. “It is a long trip, and I am sure they do not understand what is involved in a Jewish wedding.”

When I heard those words, my stomach felt like it was about to regurgitate the meal. I took a deep breath and waited for Jan to speak.

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Cloudy Skies Almost
Shatters Our Love

“I want to visit my friend in the hospital,” Jan said as we left the apartment for dinner. “If we go now, we can see him and still be on time for dinner.” We had only been together for two weeks, and her offer did not give me any reason to be concerned as I did not know her friend’s gender or relationship status.

On the A train downtown, Jan and I sat together. It was lovely to be with Jan, the love of my life. I had grown accustomed to riding the subway solo for twenty-two months of living alone in the Big Apple. 

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Our Journey of Love
Faith and Family

“How will you raise your children,” the Rabbi said as he leaned across his desk. I knew I wanted to have kids, and I had always assumed Jan wanted a family. Of course, the question was not if we would but about what faith we would raise them. It was a litmus test we kept failing.

As Jan framed her response, my answer was on the tip of my tongue. But again, I deferred to Jan to see if she would answer the question differently this time.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

The Weddings

Read: February 2023

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The Weddings: Inheritance Collection

by Alexander Chee

Today I read The Weddings by Alexander Chee. It is the fifth and last book in Inheritance, a collection of five stories about secrets, unspoken desires, and dangerous revelations between loved ones. For Jack Cho, a fortysomething gay man, being able to marry someone he loves is so unfamiliar it’s terrifying. Then a wedding invitation from a college friend brings about a collision with those fears—and his secret history.

I have always enjoyed weddings. I attended the last one when my younger son married in July 2021. Not sure if I will ever participate in another wedding.

I have attended many diverse weddings but never one with as many secret histories. To avoid revealing the secrets, I will state that The Weddings is well written, each moment is precise, and the mysteries are neither shocking nor disruptive to the story.

I highly recommend The Weddings.

Each Inheritance piece can be read or listened to in a single setting. By yourself, behind closed doors, or shared with someone you trust. The Weddings is the fifth one in the series I have read.

The previous four were:

I have enjoyed all five books.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Jack and his new boyfriend, Caleb, are attending the wedding of Jack’s estranged straight friend Scott. No sooner do the guests start to mingle than questions arise about relationships, tradition, Jack’s feelings for the groom, and what’s at stake as he navigates daunting territory, both new and old. In this wry and surprising short story, award-winning author Alexander Chee extends an invitation to the party—and awakening—of a lifetime.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Let Us Descend: A Novel

Read: November 2023

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Let Us Descend: A Novel

by Jesmyn Ward

Today, I started reading Let Us Descend: A Novel by Jesmyn Ward. She is a two-time National Book Award winner, the youngest winner of the Library of Congress Prize for American Fiction, and a MacArthur Fellow. The book is a haunting masterpiece that is sure to become an instant classic. It tells the story of an enslaved girl in the years before the Civil War.

The book’s title is from Dante Alighieri’s Inferno: “‘Let us descend,’ the poet now began, ‘and enter this blind world.” Let Us Descend is a reimagining of American slavery, beautifully rendered yet heart-wrenching. The novel takes us on a journey from the rice fields of the Carolinas to the slave markets of New Orleans and into the fearsome heart of a Louisiana sugar plantation.

Annis is the reader’s guide through this hellscape, sold south by the white enslaver who fathered her. As Annis struggles through the miles-long march, she turns inward, seeking comfort from memories of her mother and stories of her African warrior grandmother. Throughout the journey, she opens herself to a world beyond this world, one teeming with spirits: of earth and water, of myth and history, spirits who nurture and give, and those who manipulate and take. While Ward leads readers through the descent, this, her fourth novel, is ultimately a story of rebirth and reclamation.

Let Us Descend is a magnificent novel that inscribes Black American grief and joy in the very land of the American South. Ward’s writing takes you through the rich but unforgiving forests, swamps, and rivers of the South, making this novel a masterwork for the ages.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Antidote

Read: October 2025

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The Antidote: A Novel

by Karen Russell

Karen Russell‘s The Antidote, a finalist in the fiction category for the 2025 National Book Award, serves as a profound reckoning with a nation’s tendency to forget. It addresses the settler amnesia and deliberate omissions that have been passed down through generations, revealing not only horrors but also shimmering possibilities. The Antidote resonates with urgent warnings about our current climate emergency, prompting readers to reflect on what might have been and what is still possible.

The Antidote opens on Black Sunday, as a historic dust storm ravages the fictional town of Uz, Nebraska. But Uz is already collapsing—not just under the weight of the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl drought but beneath its own violent histories.

The Antidote follows a “Prairie Witch,” whose body serves as a bank vault for peoples’ memories and secrets; a Polish wheat farmer who learns how quickly a hoarded blessing can become a curse; his orphan niece, a basketball star and witch’s apprentice in furious flight from her grief; a voluble scarecrow; and a New Deal photographer whose time-traveling camera threatens to reveal both the town’s secrets and its fate.


Karen Russell is the author of six fiction books, including the New York Times bestsellers Swamplandia! and Vampires in the Lemon Grove. She is a MacArthur Fellow, a Guggenheim Fellow, and a Pulitzer Prize finalist.

She has received two National Magazine Awards for Fiction, the Shirley Jackson Award, the 2023 Bottari Lattes Grinzane Prize, and the 2024 Mary McCarthy Prize, and was selected for the National Book Foundation’s 5 Under 35 award and The New Yorker’s 20 Under 40 list (she is now decisively over forty).

She serves on the board of Street Books, a mobile library for people living outdoors. Born and raised in Miami, Florida, she lives in Portland, Oregon, with her husband, son, and daughter.



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Year of Wonders: A Novel

Read: November 2024

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Year of Wonders: A Novel

by Geraldine Brooks

I started reading Year of Wonders: A Novel” by Geraldine Brooks today. It is a compelling story set in 17th-century England about a village that quarantines itself to stop the spread of the plague. The book is written by the author of “The Secret Chord” and “March,” both of which won the Pulitzer Prize. Inspired by the events in Eyam, a village in the rugged hill country of England, “Year of Wonders” offers a richly detailed portrayal of a significant historical moment.

The plot begins when an infected bolt of cloth arrives from London, bringing the plague to an isolated village. A housemaid named Anna Frith emerges as an unlikely heroine and healer. Through Anna’s perspective, we experience the fateful year of 1666 as she and her fellow villagers confront the outbreak of disease and the rise of superstition. As death visits each household and villagers turn from prayer to fear-driven witch-hunting, Anna must find the strength to face the breakdown of her community and the temptations of forbidden love. Her struggle for survival and growth transforms a disastrous year into an extraordinary “year of wonders.

Written with remarkable emotional depth, the novel introduces, according to The Wall Street Journal, “an inspiring heroine” and skillfully weaves themes of love and learning, loss and renewal into a captivating and unforgettable narrative.

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King of Ashes

Read: July 2025

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King of Ashes: A Novel

by S. A. Cosby

Today, as heavy thunderstorms rumbled outside and flash flood warnings loomed, I dove into “King of Ashes,” a gripping Southern crime saga that draws inspiration from “The Godfather.” Written by the acclaimed New York Times bestselling author S. A. Cosby, this novel was a long-awaited treat for me. I read “All the Sinners Bleed” nearly two years ago and have been itching for Cosby’s next masterpiece ever since.

As I turned the pages, the opening paragraphs immediately pulled me in and confirmed that the wait was worthwhile. The summoning of eldest son Roman Carruthers’ home after his father’s car accident not only sets the stage for a gripping plot but also resonates with the universal theme of family. He finds his younger brother, Dante, in debt to dangerous criminals and his sister, Neveah, exhausted from holding the family—and the family business—together. Neveah and their father, who run the Carruthers Crematorium in the run-down central Virginia town of Jefferson Run, see death up close every day. But mortality draws even closer when it becomes clear that the crash that landed their father in a coma was no accident, and Dante’s recklessness has placed them all in real danger.

Roman, a financial whiz with a knack for numbers and a talent for making his clients wealthy, has some money to help his brother out of trouble. But in his work with wannabe tough guys, he’s forgotten that there are real gangsters out there. As his bargaining chips go up in smoke, Roman realizes that he has only one thing left to offer to save his brother: himself and his own particular set of financial skills.

Roman begins his work for the criminals while Neveah tries to uncover the long-ago mystery of what happened to their mother, who disappeared under mysterious or suspicious circumstances when they were teenagers. But Roman is far less of a pushover than the gangsters realize. He is willing to do anything to save his family. Anything.

Because everything burns.


S. A. Cosby is a New York Times bestselling writer from southeastern Virginia. He is the author of All the Sinners Bleed, which was on more than forty Best of the Year lists, including Barack Obama’s, as well as Edgar Award finalist Razorblade Tears and Los Angeles Times Book Prize winner Blacktop Wasteland. He has also won the Anthony Award, ITW Thriller Award, Barry Award, Macavity Award, BCALA Award, and Audie Award. He has been longlisted for the ALA Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence.



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The Kitchen House

Read: August 2021

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The Kitchen House

by Kathleen Grisson

The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom was a book that I knew very little about who I took from our bookshelf. My wife had encouraged me to read it as it focused on the south, and she knew I ofter read both about that place and enjoyed history.

From the opening pages, It became a book that I could not put down.

Two characters narrate the book. One is Lavinia, an Irish girl orphaned and brought to the plantation by the master, a ship’s captain. She is assigned to the kitchen house to work with Belle, who is the illegitimate child of the master of the estate.

As Lavinia grows under the tutelage of Belle, the story highlights the struggles of a plantation. Lavinia finds family and love from the enslaved even though she is only indentured. The distinction that skin color would have on their lives is one that Lavinia only learns at the end.

Through the unique eyes of Lavinia and Belle, Grissom’s debut novel unfolds in a heartbreaking and ultimately hopeful story of class, race, dignity, deep-buried secrets, and familial bonds.

The Kitchen House is Ms. Grissom’s first novel and impressed me and inspired me even though I have no skills as a writer.

I strongly recommend this book.

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